As sure as the sun rises men will continue to watch porn.

Some estimates claim up to 99% of American men watch porn. We suspect the other 1% are just too embarrassed to admit they engage in some digital sexcapades.

Evolving from photos to public movie theaters to cassettes to online films while the way men consume porn may have changed their viewing habits haven’t.

What’s for sure is that porn isn’t going anywhere. What’s uncertain is its impact on one’s romantic relationships, dating life, and how one chooses to manage their relationship with porn.

At first glance, the question, can watching too much porn ruin your relationship seems like it has an obvious answer.

Porn gives us unrealistic sexual expectations, is addictive, abusive, and a dozen other negative things. But if we dive deeper we find that it’s not all one-sided. A 2002 survey conducted by the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that 86% of respondents said porn can educate people while 72% said it’s a harmless outlet for fantasies.

To really understand the impact porn has on us, let’s take a deeper look at how it impacts our romantic relationships and dating life. 

How Porn Negatively Impacts Relationships And Dating Life

Anyone that has watched porn consistently has probably noticed one or two ways it has negatively impacted their romantic life. 

For one it’s sometimes difficult to get it up. 

Getting And Maintaining An Erection

If there’s one way to deter men from watching so much porn it’s to tell them it can hinder an erection. 

According to research presented at the 2020 European Association of Urology (EAU) Virtual Congress, watching excessive amounts of porn can lead to erectile dysfunction. 

3,267 men were surveyed. The study found on average these men watched porn for 69 minutes a week. Some findings were particularly interesting. For one, just 65% of those surveyed reported enjoying sex with their partner more than watching porn. Being that sex is such an integral part of any healthy relationship, ditching sex with your partner to watch porn is inevitably going to cause a rift in the relationship. 

The second finding was that there was a surprisingly high amount of ED found in the younger participants. 23% of those 35 and younger reported suffering from erectile dysfunction. 

But was porn really to blame for this ED?

Yes. 

Those 35 or younger with a high porn addiction had an ED rate of 45%. 

What’s considered a strong porn addiction? Watching more than 300 minutes of porn a week. 

While ED might be the most troublesome consequence of watching porn it’s not the only one. 

Lower Levels Of Sexual Intimacy

The women seen in porn aren’t real. 

The sex they have isn’t either. 

What I mean is that porn stars have bodies that are augmented by saline and silicone, work out constantly, and are mostly seen as items rather than complex partners with desires of their own. 

If men become accustomed to this they’ll expect the same kind of insanely high beauty and docile standards in the sheets. 

That just isn’t the case. Even if your girlfriend or romantic interest is hot and sexy as hell she still has her own feelings and desires. You can’t treat her like an object like the women in porn are treated. 

With porn, men are able to simulate their ideal sex scenario. They don’t have to listen to their partner because in this context their partner is a screen. Each and every time they orgasm they do so to their perfect sexual scenario. 

The dynamic changes when they have sex IRL. Here you can’t just fast forward through the parts you don’t like. Here foreplay, cuddling, communication, and putting her pleasures before your own all factor into sex.  

Naturally, this may make sex less pleasurable.

Not to mention porn nowadays is more violent and rough than ever. 

In a recent documentary, a porn star vet said that porn in the 90s was all about “making love in bed.” That’s not the case anymore. 

After reviewing 300 porn scenes at random, researchers found 88% contained physical aggression. However, there are few if any studies that find that watching violent porn leads to more sexual violence. However, it may lead to men discounting their partner’s feelings as they seek to only gratify themselves. 

But it’s not like porn only negatively impacts the woman’s pleasure. 

Devalues Women

No man ever watches porn and then thinks, wow I respect women more than ever. 

That’s not how (most) porn is supposed to work. 

There are so many videos out there that don’t even show a woman’s face. How are men supposed to appreciate and respect women more if they’ve been reduced to sentient blow-up dolls?

It’s not like watching a few porn videos will turn you into a raging misogynist. 

But excessively watching porn pigeonholes women and may lead to devaluing them. This is especially the case if you’re watching abusive, submissive porn. 

A Flaccid Striatum

The striatum is probably the least sexy-sounding part of the brain. Poorly chosen names aside — the striatum is the part of the brain that is dedicated to making us feel good. 

A 2014 study examined the brain of 60 men as they watched porn. The researchers also learned the porn-viewing habits of participants. 

They found the porn bingers needed much more content to get off than those that watched porn once and a while. They found those with a porn addiction had smaller striatums than those that watched seldomly. However, researchers couldn’t conclude a smaller striatum was caused by porn addiction.  

That being said there is evidence to suggest that porn is addictive and that addicts gradually need more and more to feel gratified. Just like alcohol we build a tolerance to porn. After a while, a quick 5-minute video isn’t enough to satisfy our desires and we’re left binging porn. 

But ya know, porn isn’t objectively bad. 

How Porn Positively Impacts Relationships And Dating Life

Not all porn is bad and not all viewing habits are bad. 

Sex Ed

By and large, porn isn’t where we want to be getting our sexual education. Part of the reason porn is so popular is because of how unrealistic it is. As mentioned porn is largely aggressive, created for men, and objectifies women. 

But not all porn is alike. 

There are plenty of porn websites that use porn to educate. 

Take Beducated for example. 

Described as Coursera for porn, it covers a range of topics from blow jobs to kinky sex to cunnilingus.  

This isn’t the kind of porn most people would want to get off to, but it does walk the line between educational videos and pornography. 

If you’re not in the mood for a sexy tutorial simply watch porn videos made for women. These videos are designed with a female viewer in mind. That means you’ll pick up a thing or two, see the woman as more of a complex character and not so objectified. 

Watching videos made for women will most likely make you a better lover than videos solely made to gratify the male fantasy. 

If you’re only watching these types of videos, the question can watching too much porn ruin your relationship gets flipped on its head. 

When You Watch With A Partner

Porn doesn’t have to be something you watch alone. 

Watching it with a partner can be a great way to find out new things to try and can make talking about sex easier. Sometimes it’s difficult to describe what turns you on. Having a visual reference in front of you makes it a hell of a lot easier. 

Not to mention that watching porn with your partner can be a massive turn-on. 

Allows You To Safely Explore Sexual Fantasies

This one isn’t necessarily all good. Some fantasies are best squashed. However, others may be healthy just a bit embarrassing. Perhaps it’s difficult to find a partner willing to get as kink as you are. If that’s the case we all still need a gratifying sexual release. Some of us find that release in porn. 

If used correctly porn can be a safe outlet to explore your fantasies. 

Porn also plays a role in normalizing fantasies. You may at times feel ostracized for an odd sexual desire. A porn video playing out your fantasy proves that you’re not alone in your desires. There’s a community out there for everyone if you can just find the right keyword. 

Masturbation Can Release Stress

Orgasms flood our brains will feel-good hormones like endorphins and dopamine. Masturbating every once and a while releases stress, briefly lifts our mood, and of course allows us to more easily fall asleep. 

Being that porn encourages masturbation, it plays a role in allowing us to live more stress-free lives. 

What To Do If You Have A Problem?

Have you found your porn habits to be impacting your love life?

If that’s the case here are some steps to address your unhealthy porn habits.

• Talk to a therapist
• Stay away from devices that allow you to easily watch porn
• Notice the sensation that leads to watching porn and replacing the next action with a gratifying one
• Find the root cause of why you watch porn
• Remind yourself how porn impacts your life every time you have the urge to watch it
• Find a support group (there are many online)
• Talk to your partner about improving your sex life
• Make it a goal to have more sex

There are also less conventional ways to address your porn situation and improve your romantic life.

One reason you be may be relying so heavily on porn is because you’re either not having much sex or the sex you’re having isn’t fulfilling your sexual fantasies.

Our program Dating Decoded is designed find you a myriad of women to date. Chances are you’re watching so much porn because you’re not having much sex. Our program teaches you how to quickly meet women IRL and online.

Our program revolves around the practical dating philosophy of MegaDating. It’s all about dating various women at the same time.

We teach men how to do this because MegaDating:

• Refines dating skills
• Boosts confidence
• Helps figure out your ideal partner
• Is a shortcut to finding a super compatible partner

We teach you how to meet your ideal woman, how to court her, and how to take her on killer dates.

Our hybrid program is a mix of online curriculum, live classes program, and mock dates. We use these learning pathways to teach an array of topics that all serve to help you find a meaningful partner.

One portion of our program even covers how to improve your sex life. In this portion our sex coach teaches you how to have great sex, the foreplay secrets women love, and female anatomy.

Our unconventional approach works as we’ve helped thousands of men find the woman of their lives.

To find your new leading lady book a 1-on-1 Zoom session now so we can learn more about your romantic goals and show you how emlovz can help you achieve them.