At emlovz we’ve written quite a bit on the best opening lines for dating apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge.

Online dating is the most competitive romantic channel men have to meet women. It makes sense that we’d dedicate so much time helping men stand out in an environment where they outnumber women 9 to 1.

Today we’re continuing our mission to improve the game of single men online, though we’re taking a different approach.

Instead of focusing on the best opening lines, I’ve identified some of the worst dating app opening lines real women have ever received.

Worst Dating App Opening Lines

I hope to god you’ve never sent one of these lines.

But if you have, now is your chance to right your wrongs and start again anew.

What do you do for a living?

First off, you’re asking her something that you probably already know. Many women list their job in their profile. Asking her for information you should already have is a sign you never read her profile, that’s a turn-off. Don’t make her work extra for a stranger.

Not to mention this comment is banal. It’s one she gets every other day, stand out by being a bit more original.

You’re asking her about something that is logical, not emotional.

Dating is about emotion and sensation, not logic. You want a woman who is in her body, not in her head when she’s talking to you. Instead, ask questions that elicit an emotional response. I teach exactly how to do this step-by-step in my coaching program, Dating Decoded.

If you’re not ready for a full-on coaching program yet, start by watching my free MasterClass.

What song best describes you?

At first glance, this question seems great.

It’s original, is about music (which is easy to vibe on), and is super interesting.

The issue is it’s damn hard to answer.

She’s not going to spend more than a minute answering something for a stranger. If the opening message is a question (which it should be) that’s too difficult to answer she’ll just scroll on by.

Opening messages should be easy to answer and stimulating.

How much money do you make?

That’s none of your business and asking questions like this makes you look like a gold digger.

And yes, this question was asked by a man, to a woman.

Hi…

H-factors are what I call any message that begins with the letter H.

They are no-nos on dating apps because every other guy is asking the same thing. The screenshot below is a real photo taken by a female Tinder user. As you can see, every match she captured messages her with hi, or a variation. None of these messages stand out, and that’s why they won’t receive responses.

How even do you expect her to respond to hi? Look, expect her to put in less effort than you. If you say hi, she’ll only ever say hi back. In the best-case scenario, you are where you started one message ago.

Make it easy for her to respond by asking her a question about something emotionally appealing on her profile.

You look like my ex

And you look like someone I’ll un-match immediately.

Oh lord child. Don’t bring up exes this early and definitely don’t tell her she looks like your ex. Again, where did this guy think the conversation would go from here?

I’m of the mind that most men send such messages either because they’re confused by online dating OR because for them online dating is a game. It’s a joke, it’s a way to unwind and have a good time. They don’t see this as a dating app, but rather as an entertainment app used to kill time while on the john.

In fact, a LendEDU study backs this claim up.

It found 71% of college Tinder users surveyed have never met up with a match IRL.

Do I need to call the fire department?

You are so hot.

Leading with a compliment on her physique is a surefire way for her to view you as low value. Leading with a compliment puts her on a pedestal and you below her. Therefore she perceives you as less valuable and we all want the thing that is hard to get because it appears rare and valuable. What is easy to get is perceived as common. Never lead with a compliment.

Not to mention everyone comments on her beauty. Even semi-attractive women are used to being called beautiful by strangers online. She knows she’s beautiful because 1) she has a mirror and 2) literally everyone tells her.

You don’t set yourself apart or endear yourself to her by stating the obvious.

And look, one-liners can totally work, if they’re unique to her and if they’re original. If you have the spice to whip something that fits both of these criteria, go ahead and throw her your best one-liner.

But hey, even the best and most original pick-up lines sometimes don’t work.

Hi. How’s your Monday going?

Another H-factor. She’ll see this message 100 times a day making it trite and useless.

If you really want to learn about her, ask her a question about something she wrote about in her profile. If she didn’t write anything ask where she is in one of her photos or ask her to tell you a secret or something cool about herself.

Get the conversation revolving around a favorite hobby of hers or her favorite topic, herself.

You’re beautiful. Are you racist?

Um what? This is just weird, yet sadly true.

Any previous interracial experience?

This feels like a whack-ass interview. I’d hold off on asking about exes until at least date 3 if not longer. Definitely not something I’d lead with.

Besides, how do you know you even want to date this person?

Not to mention, does it even matter if they’re willing to date you now?

And is it a deal breaker if they haven’t? This question is all kinds of premature.

Any one-word line or response

Give a little to get a little.

You have to get more creative than that if you want to stand out in a saturated market. You also need to give her something to respond to.

A little full of yourself aren’t you

Negging a woman isn’t a classy move and tends to only attract insecure women who then feel the need to prove their worth to a stranger who’s manipulating them into feeling shitty.

You might tease her for her terrible taste in movies but intentionally talking smack to her in your first message isn’t going to go over well, unless she has daddy issues.

If you are going to be sassy on a first message do this.

Why Did You Swipe Right On Me?

If you’re expecting some profound answer that will boost your confidence, get ready to be disappointed. She swiped right because it’s a superficial dating app and she liked your photos.

Period.

Asking this question comes off as vain or low on confidence. Either way it’s a lose-lose. Not to mention this is yet another worst dating app opening line men send.

Netflix and Chill?

Even if your ultimate goal is to Netflix and Chill be a bit more smooth about it.

Gradually build some level of attraction before popping the question. This comes off as aggressive and chances are that she isn’t into this anyways.

Not to mention if your goal is to invite her over ASAP don’t hide under the veil of Netflix and Chill, just be straight up with her.

Did you know overdoses in the US rose by 100% last year?

Look, women love a good random fact, but it at least has to be somewhat connected to her profile.

Oh, and positive. Always keep opening messages positive.

Do you really want her first impression of you to be a negative one?

Send nudes…

No dude, just no.

Even if your goal is to get nudes, this ain’t the way to do it. Best case she responds with a link to her Only Fans.

You’re very attractive but I wonder if there’s anything else I should know about you

Just because she didn’t write a 10-page bio doesn’t mean you need to demean her. If this is your opening message your goal is clearly not to get to know her.

At first, this seems like a good idea, but in reality, it’s one of the worst dating app opening lines you can message her.

Sit on my face

Overly sexual messages will receive overtly negative responses (if any at all).

Take that foot off the accelerator and figure out why you’re using dating apps in the first place. If you genuinely want to meet someone and have a LTR then you have time to heat things up later on. Slow your flow initially and keep things respectful.

What Should You Say?

Apart from the opposite of everything I just listed?

Let’s get a bit more specific.

There are two crucial pieces of advice you need to keep in mind when sending an opening message.

One: Ask Her A Question

Questions demand responses. She’ll feel odd not responding. A comment on the other hand doesn’t necessarily require a response.

Make your question about something she wrote about or about a photo of hers. Inquire as to her hobbies, where she took a photo, or why she wrote what she did.

To increase the chances of a response, write why the question matters.

For example, let’s say she has a photo of her hiking on a mountain that looks familiar. You can say something like…

I just hiked Mt. Venado this past week, is that its sister mountain Mt. Cangrejo?

Acknowledging the relationship you have to this question increases the chances that she’ll respond.

Two: Make It Related To Her Profile

Even if she’s only written two lines in her profile you can probably still find something to vibe on. Ideally, choose to talk about something you both have in common. A lot of women will write about food in their profiles. So ask her about her favorite spots in town.

When in doubt keep the conversation revolving around her interests.

Messaging Like A Vet

In our program Dating Decoded we not only teach men how to create amazing online dating profiles but also how to message women on the app like a pro.

In fact, an entire portion of our program is dedicated to messaging women on dating apps.

We’ve taught hundreds of men how to get their flirt online and how to quickly pivot from online to IRL.

Our male students outcompete 90% of other men on dating apps. In fact they get so many matches online that they can easily implement our dating strategy, MegaDating.

MegaDating involves dating multiple women at once in order to quickly find a compatible partner.

If you looking to take your dating game to the next level & reach goals like finding a long term relationship with a woman you’re super excited about in just 6 to 12 weeks, book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with me or a member of my team so we can talk more about your dating goals and how our program can help you achieve them.

Don’t just take my word for it, here’s what my students are saying…