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Stop Asking Yourself “Will I Ever Find Love?” & Do Something About It!

Stop Asking Yourself “Will I Ever Find Love?” & Do Something About It!

When you’re feeling hopelessly single, it’s common to ask yourself, “Will I ever find love?” If you’ve been dating with little or no success, you may become anxious that the right person isn’t out there.

I used to wonder if I would ever find love, which was something that led me to my 100-date experiment. During this experiment I discovered that not only was love something I could find, it’s something everybody can find. And no, you don’t have to be super rich or ridiculously good-looking to attract a gorgeous, awesome girlfriend.

But to make sure you find a long-term, compatible partner, there are some strategies you need to use in order to reach this often elusive dating feat. 



Will I Ever Find Love?

Tip #1: Start MegaDating Right Away

If you’re sitting wondering “Will I ever find love?” one of your problems might be that you get hung up on one person at a time instead of choosing to get to know a variety of different women before becoming exclusive.

When you get hung up on finding “the one,” you end up in a precarious position that can lead you to:

-Settling for the mediocre

-Experiencing anxiety over never finding your “soulmate”

-Becoming infatuated with someone who can’t reciprocate your feelings

-Leads to or increases low self-esteem

That’s why if you want to find love, you have to start MegaDating. MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves going out with several different people at the same time. When you do this, you decrease anxiety by diffusing your energy and keeping your calendar full.

MegaDating is not about being a player or trying to sleep with a bunch of women — sex doesn’t have to even be a part of MegaDating and you can hold off on sex until you find someone you want to enter an exclusive relationship with.

Using this strategy helps you see that plenty of fish are in the sea and it gives you the opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you would like in a partner.

I used this strategy during my 100-date experiment and it helped me find a satisfying, long-term relationship. It worked for me and it can work for you too!

Tip #2: Stop Fearing Rejection

will I ever find love



“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky/Michael Scott

If you’re already wondering, “Will I every find love?” it means that you may also feel vulnerable. When that’s the case, the thought of getting rejected can feel like a gut-punch. But when you avoid asking women out that intimidate you, you end up keeping yourself from finding a long-term compatible partner.

Getting rejected is actually a good thing and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to rejection can ultimately lead you to the right person. When you put yourself out there and get rejected, you:

-Learn how to face your fears

-Become more empathetic

-Discover growth and opportunity

-Get better at asking women out because practice makes perfect

A lot of times the anticipation of doing something is scarier than the actual event. Think of it this way when you’re worried about getting rejected:

-Is the rejection a life or death situation?

-Is a building going to burn down as a result of you being rejected?

-Are you completely incapable of recovering from a rejection or is a girl saying “no, thank you” to a date with you going to catalyze a complete downward spiral?

No, it’s really not that serious. When you look at it this way, asking a girl out doesn’t seem like such a tremendous feat. And when it comes to the actual approach, there are some ways that you can avoid rejection.



Tip #3: Craft Compelling Dates

will I ever find love

When I hear people say things like “when will I ever find love?” it really irks me. It’s not a matter of when, it’s a matter of strategy. 

When asking out a girl you’re interested in, don’t give her the standard “Do you want to go out with me?” You need to craft a compelling date idea based on the woman’s interests. Give her something she basically can’t say no to.

For example, if she’s interested in science or animals, you could say something like, “I’d love to take you on a date this Saturday. I know of this rare leopard shark exhibit at the California Academy of Sciences this weekend. Want to go with me on Saturday around 11 am?”

When you choose something that appeals to a woman’s interest and also gives her the opportunity to experience something new, she’s way more likely to agree to go on a date with you.

Notice that in the above example that I listed a clear date, location and time of day. That isn’t simply being specific — it’s strategic.

The strategy is something that we here at EmLovz call a TDL. A TDL is an acronym for time, date and location. By using a TDL, you are creating a call-to-action rather than simply asking a girl to hang out with you.

Women are much more likely to respond positively to date suggestions that involve TDL’s because:

It’s chivalrous: Giving her a specific time, date and location shows that you are being considerate of her schedule and won’t make her come up with reservations or go back-and-forth with you about what, where, how and when.

It’s compelling: With a TDL, you need to come up with something specific, unique and compelling. This will make you stand out from other guys who simply ask her for a happy hour or to get lunch somewhere.

It shows that you are organized, a good planner and that your lifestyle involves a ton of cool interests.

Not only will using a TDL help you attract more women, you’ll also gain a bunch of new experiences and discover interests you hadn’t considered before. This is one of the best parts of dating and what makes the dating world fun instead of frustrating.



Tip #4: Stop Relying Solely on Bars as a Way to Meet Women

will I ever find love

Do you use the bar scene as your primary location for meeting and dating women? Quit it.

There’s nothing wrong with meeting a woman at a bar, but bars are far from the only place to find a compatible, long-term partner. And when it comes to meeting a woman at a bar, you run a few risks.

Although people of all different walks of life meet at bars, one type of person a bar scene attracts is alcoholics. Obviously, an alcoholic won’t be emotionally available to you and alcohol abuse is never the good start of any relationship.

Even if somebody isn’t an alcoholic, choosing a scene where people get inebriated can make things awkward. People are more likely to get sloppy when drinking is heavily involved in the early stages of dating. Plus, meeting a woman when you’re both drunk means that you’re more likely to sleep together before you really know each other, which can kill a relationship before it even starts.

There are a ton of other options when it comes to meeting women and I recommend you try all of them to get to your long terms dating goals faster. 

Go Online

Dating apps have become a mainstream go-to for finding people to go out on dates with that you might not meet out and about otherwise. When working with my clients, I always recommend they download at least a few different dating apps (like Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and sometimes Tinder) in order to cast a wider net in the dating world.

When it comes to these popular dating apps you want to make sure that you stand out from the competition. Women get inundated with messages and matches, so you need to be strategic to ensure that you not only match with women but approach them in a way that will guarantee you meet them in person.

Meet Women at a Mutual Friend’s Event

Why not enlist a trusted friend to help you meet someone? After all, your friends know you the best and will have a better idea of who could be a right fit for you.

Let someone you trust and feel comfortable divulging your dating struggles know about the fact that you are single and would be open to getting set up (or given a head’s up when someone they think might be a good match for you) at one of their events.

Join Groups on Meetup

Meetup is a website and app that allows people throughout your community to create groups and events based on particular interests.

This can be a great way to put yourself out there and potentially find a girl who likes the same things you do. One of the first steps in creating chemistry with someone is to build trust and rapport with someone through shared interests, so Meetup already has you covered in that department.



People often don’t know each other when first attending an event, so you don’t need to feel awkward. It’s also a great way to get to know people without the added pressure of it being an official date.

Speed Dating

There are a ton of creative speed dating events where you can meet several different women at once.

A lot of times, speed dating will have fun themes, food and drinks, so it’s not like those over-the-top gatherings with name tags that you might typically think of when you hear the term “speed dating.”

Websites like Eventbrite and Living Social can help you find speed dating events near you — some might even be free!

Tip #5: Increase Your Confidence

A lack of self-esteem can have a big impact on your dating life. Women are attracted to confidence and if they feel like you don’t have a good sense of self, you’re less likely to have women agreeing to go on dates with you.

There are several ways to increase your confidence outside of dating, right before dates and during dates.

Outside of Dating

will I ever find love

Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is integral to overall happiness. This will also make you more appealing to women because when you feel good about yourself, you exude positive energy.

One thing you can do to naturally increase confidence is exercising daily. The Mayo Clinic recommends doing 30 minutes of physical activity each day, which is really not a whole lot when you think about this. Taking a short run or vigorous walk, doing some push-ups or squats can cover this easily and you can even break your exercise up into 10-minute segments if you’re strapped for time.

The important thing about exercise is not so much about getting “jacked” as it is about feeling good. Exercise improves your physical health and also causes your brain to release endorphins, which stave off depression and anxiety and naturally boost mood.

Of course, you can’t rely on exercise solely when it comes to feeling and looking good.

Nutrition is an important part of your mood. Things like refined sugars, gluten, dairy, and caffeine can trigger anxiety and depression. According to the Harvard Health Blog, the way that certain foods are metabolized can leave you feeling upset or anxious due to something called the “gut-brain axis.” About 95% of our serotonin receptors (which have a profound effect on mood) are found in the lining of the gut, which is why a stomach ache can result in feelings that go way beyond the physical.

Aim to eat whole foods and make sure you always have a good balance of protein and fiber. This can help you maintain your weight and also prevents blood sugar fluctuations, which can give you that “hangry” feeling that makes you all out of sorts.



Before Your Date

Just like you should stretch before taking a run, going on a date requires a warm-up of its own. You can do the following things to get yourself in a more confident, sexy state of mind before your date:

-Wear an outfit that you feel good and comfortable in

-Put on a cologne that makes you feel attractive

-Listen to music that makes you feel sexy

Finally, one of the most effective dating warm-ups is going to socialize a bit before your date. Talk to friends for an hour or so before the date or chat with your local baristas. This will prevent you from ruminating before the date and get you ready to be social. This was a key strategy my boyfriend used before he and I got together.

During the Date

Once you get to the date, don’t worry about being nervous. Everyone can get excited when they’re on a first date and these jitters don’t have to derail your experience.

Ask questions related to your shared interests and things that will stimulate conversation. The simple act of smiling during a date can also put you and her at ease. Research shows that smiling can actually ease stress and increase confidence immediately. Even if you have to fake it, smiling can calm your stresses and get you out of your head.

Will I Ever Find Love? Wrap-up

will I ever find love

I hope the above five strategies helped you realize that you can find love and that you’re worthy of love.

If you still need help, I’m happy to assist you in your quest to find your most ideal partner. I specialize in helping men find girlfriends, long term partners, and future wives. 

Book a new client 1-on-1 Zoom session with me or one of my colleagues today and we’ll help you create a personalized strategy to help you reach these types of goals. 

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