At emlovz we teach our students how to MegaDate (i.e., prolifically date around).

In a space of 90 days, our students go on 20+ dates. Naturally, our students can’t sustain dating so many women at once and are forced to choose to date only the women they are most compatible with. Inevitably this leads to our students having to reject certain women.

This predicament is new to many of our students. While it’s a good problem to have, it has given rise to a new problem; rejecter anxiety. 

In this article, we want to answer the question of how to manage rejection anxiety when you’re the one who has to give the bad news.

How To Manage Rejection Anxiety

Here are various techniques you can use to help manage rejection anxiety.

Mindset

You are the most important person in your dating journey.

In order to ensure that you’re on the best path to find your most compatible partner, you’ll have to let go of those that are not right for you. As a consequence, you also free those that are not a fit to find the right partner.

Setting yourself (and them free) is a gift.

Your dating journey is meant to illuminate who is the right partner for you. And hey, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs to find Princess Charming.

Can’t kiss ’em and keep ’em all – this isn’t an aquarium. 

Stay true to yourself and do what’s best for #1. If you’re feeling guilty about having to reject her – don’t. Stringing her along all the while knowing the relationship doesn’t have the legs to last is even worse. Rip that bandaid off so you two can begin investing in someone that you’re compatible with.

Awareness

When you reject, you naturally learn full circle what rejection is.

It is simply a lack of full compatibility. It doesn’t mean she is not good enough and it can show you that even when you are disappointed by someone, it has no bearing on your worth as a human being.

Breaking up is less about someone not making the grade and more about being tired of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole.

It shouldn’t be taken as a hit to one’s ego. However, this is easier said than done.

Of course, you can lessen the damage done by rejection and at the same time, address how to manage rejection anxiety by explaining why you want to stop seeing each other.

You can tell her…

I think you’re an amazing person. You’re fun, smart, down to earth, etc. But we’re just not compatible. 

The reason she’ll hurt afterward is because she feels she’s not good enough. Tell her she is good enough, she’s just not compatible enough. 

Kill the People-Pleaser Inside

When you learn to say “no,” you break the people-pleaser cycle inside of you.

From a young age, you may have learned that making others feel good–above yourself and your own needs–was important, but this is a belief that fails to truly serve us in adulthood. We must learn to say no to that which is not meant for us and that which does not bring us joy.

Without learning this lesson, we are doomed to settle for partners that aren’t right for us and that can spell disaster. You must face this old self and defeat him to move forward. A good movie to watch for this is Peaceful Warrior.

Get at the root of your unhealthy, burning desire to please everyone. Why is it that you feel compelled to please people that you don’t even want to date anymore? Ask yourself the hard questions and look to your past to find the answers.

At the end of the day know that the only person you really need to please is yourself. If you’re not satisfied with the woman or women you’re dating, do everyone a favor and end things so all parties involved can go about their lives.

Manage Expectations

Let the women you are dating know where you stand.

Tell them you’re doing a social experiment and going on 20 dates in 90 days to find the right long-term relationship for you. Being transparent from the beginning helps to manage the expectations of others so they don’t assume a relationship is imminent right off the bat. In my experience, people become more competitive to win you over when they know there are other options on the table.

Being transparent will make things a hell of a lot easier when you have to end it with her.

If This Were Easy, Everyone Would Have The Perfect Partner

It’s not easy to disappoint people, especially if we grew up with a deep fear of disappointing those we cared for. But stepping into your power means disappointing some people some of the time and putting yourself first. If you choose to disappoint yourself so as to not hurt another, you abandon yourself and your ability to reach your full potential. Choose yourself first.

You’re worth it.

Practice, Practice, Practice

If you’re MegaDating you’re going on dates with women every week.

When you’re dating this prolifically, you will have plenty of opportunities to perform the art of the breakup and face your rejection anxiety. With practice, things will get easier. You will not only practice how to let a woman down easily but you’ll also become more comfortable dealing with rejection anxiety.

Even if you don’t take any of the aforementioned advice the mere practice of rejecting women over and over again will make things easier. 

How To End Things

How you end things dictates how to manage rejection anxiety.

For example, if you only went on 1-3 dates with someone, depending on how close you two become (emotionally and physically) explicitly breaking things off may not be necessary. All relationships are most precarious during the early dating stages. It’s natural that when you’re beginning to get to know each other that friction may arise that causes the relationship to end before it begins.

Should she just not receive a request for another date after the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date she’ll more or less know the reason why you’re not asking her out again.

However, the greater her feelings for you (i.e. the longer you two date) the more likely it is that an explanation is needed.

If the relationship is still in its early stages (you’ve been dating for a month or two) you may be able to simply text her why you don’t want to see her anymore (compatibility issues).

If you two have been dating for more than 1 or 2 months, you may be required to have a more detailed conversation over the phone or even in person. Should you need to have this conversation, I recommend having it at her house or a public yet private space. Do so, so that if things get uncomfortable, you can get out of there.

Have a speech ready for when you end things. Know what you’re going to say and try to read from the script.

Dating Decoded

Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you manage rejection anxiety and meet the woman you’ve been coveting?

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy, and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.

To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll have a team of romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

Learn how our students have already improved their dating lives.