Are matchmakers worth it? You’re probably asking yourself this question because Tinder just isn’t working like it used to. Let’s start with some history.

Matchmakers have been ever since Eliezer found Abraham’s son, Isaac, a wife.

The OG matchmaker hung out by a well all day waiting for someone to offer his camels some water. After quite a while of baking in the sun, finally, good ol’ Rebekah fetched Eliezer and his camels some water.

The matchmaking process has sped up quite a bit since antiquity.

Singles today want so much more than a woman that will offer his camels water when they’re thirsty.

Today, single men want compatible women that live close by, earn similar salaries, go rock climbing, and that also love French Bulldogs.

Guys are sick and tired of waiting around for a woman that satisfies this criteria to pop up on their Tinder.

Men look to matchmakers because they’re tired of being lonely and want to expedite the process of finding a girlfriend. Guys may turn to a matchmaker for any reason. Most however are just too caught up in work to make time to find their next relationship.

That’s where the matchmaker comes into play.

So, Are Matchmakers Worth It?

That depends.

Some are, and some aren’t.

The kind that spends all day standing by a well, are rightly not worth the price tag. The kind of matchmaker that deploys a team of e-recruiters to comb through single compatible women in your home town surely are worth it.

Let me help you discern which matchmakers are worth it and which ones should be left by the well.

So… are matchmakers worth it?

Yes, If They Have Scouting Skills

Matchmakers are worth it if they scout for their clients.

If your matchmaker deploys a team of e-recruiters to scour your county in search of the perfect match, then yes, you’ve found the right matchmaker for you.

If, on the other hand, you just gave $15k to a woman who determines who to set you up with by picking a name out of her stale database at random, well, you just got bamboozled.

Look, most apps can’t do the job of matchmakers because dating apps don’t allow you to filter away women that you’re not compatible with. Sure, if you could search for a woman based on various intimate variables such as hobbies, religion, favorite sport, and preferred shampoo, then yeah, sure there’d be no need to hire a matchmaker. But dating apps just don’t work that way.

If you don’t know how to craft the perfect online dating profile, chances are the dating app algorithms aren’t even showing you the most competitive women.

The apps work off of internal algorithms based on your “value” on the app. This means the more right swipes and responses you get to your messages, the more you get shown to women that are in demand the most. If you don’t know how to set up your profile and your photos aren’t competitive, then you’re probably getting a lot more swipe lefts. This is lowering your “elo score” or the internal score the app gives you to determine your relative market value.

The same is true for your messages. The more messages you send that don’t garner a response, the lower your elo score becomes.

I teach my coaching clients how to craft the perfect online dating profile, how to message women in a way that compels them to read it, and how get them to respond and say yes to your date idea. But some men just don’t have time to become masters of this art form, and as such, aren’t meeting women they’d like to date.

That’s where a quality matchmaker can come in handy.

If they’re good — and not only relying on their personal networks — they can access the highest quality women available in your city.

Make sure to ask them how they go about finding you, compatible women.

Yes, If They Can Save You Time

Americans are lonelier than ever.

Even before COVID-19 hit us, Americans were dealing with a loneliness pandemic. In 2019, 2 out of every 3 Americans reported feeling always or often lonely.

More Americans than ever before are living alone. Technology, financial burdens, and a confusing dating landscape have all contributed to loneliness in America.

Teaming up with a matchmaker and finding love might not be a panacea, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

For those fed up with being lonely, stop relying on dating apps to get the job done for you. Instead, relax, recline, and let a matchmaker do the hard work for you.

When you enlist the help of a quality matchmaker, you’ll go on at least a date a week.

Yes If They Can Vet/Pre-Screen The Women

This is probably why all your Tinder dates have fallen short.

A brief 10-message exchange isn’t really considered vetting.

A worthy matchmaker will interview and screen the woman prior to your first date. Any woman that doesn’t meet your criteria won’t be considered. Pre-screening a candidate will expedite the dating process and ensures that you’re only ever dating women that you have a high probability of falling for.

Not If They Don’t Also Provide Coaching And Make You Reliant Upon Them

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

If you always let your matchmaker fish for you, you’ll never learn anything. What happens after you’ve spent thousands of dollars and are still single? You’re in the exact same situation you were in months prior, only now with substantially less money.

A matchmaker that is just going to set you up on dates without coaching you on how to hit it out of the park, is only solving one piece of the puzzle.

If you’re finding yourself only getting first dates, but never second or thirds, there’s a problem with your dating skills that can only be resolved via coaching. 

If the matchmaker can’t help you get past this hurdle then they aren’t really doing their job.

A lot of matchmakers aren’t incentivized to actually find you love because when you become reliant on them to source your dates, you just keep paying them.

A good matchmaker will help you crush the dates they set you up on so you don’t become reliant on them forever. They should have your best interest at heart. This becomes clear when you ask them how they can help you get a relationship, not just get introduced to hot babes. Ask how they’re going to do this for you.

Not If Their Database Is Limited

If after sitting down with a matchmaker she exclaims, “I have the perfect woman for you,” you should run away.

She might say this because she only sets you up with women from her shallow database. She’s basically picking a name out of a hat. If this is the case, you’re not being set up with compatible women, just available women.

At emlovz, we have a team of e-love-recruiters that combs through the city you live in, in search for compatible women. We never recycle women or set you up with someone just because a woman was available. We use the criteria that you’ve provided to help find you’ll be stoked to date.

Not If They Don’t Tell You How Many Dates They’re Going To Set You Up On

A lot of matchmakers promise the moon but can’t even articulate how many dates they’re guaranteeing or in what time frame.

Even if they tell you something like “we promise you 6 dates in 6 months” that doesn’t tell you how many dates you’ll be going on each month.

It’s common for a matchmaker to set you up on 1 date a month. Frankly, that’s not enough.

Dating a single female every 30ish days will likely lead to one-itis. 

Based on my 100-date experiment, I found that men tend to have the most success when prolifically dating in a short time-span. That’s how I help my clients to diffuse their energy, increase their confidence and avoid setting for the wrong woman. If you’re only going on 1 date a month, you’re not dating enough to accomplish any of these goals.

Not If They Only Provide You With The Woman’s Number And Expect You To Set Up The Date

Scoring a number and scoring a date are not the same.

It can be tricky business trying to turn a random phone number into a date. If your matchmaker throws a number at you and walks away, they’re not doing their job.

It’s on them to set you up on a first date.

It’s on your matchmaker to put you in the position you need to be in to succeed.

Not If They Can’t Explain The Process

Everyone has a different way to mine dates.

With thousands of dollars on the line, you’d be negligent if you don’t know how the matchmaking process works.

Ask them to explain how they go about setting you up.

If they use a database, don’t vet women, don’t coach you, and don’t set up the actual date, ditch em’.

There are dozens of matchmakers waiting in the ranks. Take your time when shopping around.

Treat matchmakers the same way you should treat women. Get to know them, have an in-depth chat, and if you don’t feel a connection, move on to the next one.

Not If They Don’t Have Any Reviews

Would you buy a product on Amazon that doesn’t have any reviews?

If not, then surely you wouldn’t pay thousands to enlist the services of a matchmaker with zero online reviews.

Vet each and every matchmaker. Ascertain that they have experience as a matchmaker. Google them, read Yelp reviews, and ask if they can talk with the past five most recent customers before making a decision. Any hesitancy should stick out like a red flag.

Not If They Haven’t Mastered The Art Of A Successful First Date

Most matchmakers will give you a number and leave the rest up to you. Sometimes they’ll also pick an arbitrary restaurant for lunch or dinner.

This seems acceptable, but it’s not.

First dates should last no more than an hour, with no more than $10 being spent.

Results from my 100 date experiment show that when these rules aren’t followed men are often friend-zoned or ghosted.

It’s not an effective strategy for escalating sexual tension, maintain mystery, or getting to a second date.

If the matchmaker has no strategy for the dates themselves, you might find yourself failing to get to a second or third date, simply because you’re setting up your dates out of sequence.

Many matchmakers haven’t gone through their own dating experiments and don’t have much understanding of what causes success and failure in dating. They’re just recruiters.

Make sure you’re working with a matchmaker who knows how to sequence the first, second, and third date correctly, what to do on a first date to maintain mystery (which breeds sexual tension), how to pitch the second date, what to text in between dates, and so on and so forth. If they don’t come armed with this information and ready to share it with you, I wouldn’t be putting down my credit card.

Now What?

I hope I helped you answer your question of “Are matchmakers worth it?”

Now it’s time to go shopping.

If you agree with the guidelines I set forth, you’d agree that the best matchmaker for you is emlovz. When you team up with us you get not only a matchmaker but a dating coach.

I’ll equip you with the skills you need to knock each date out of the park. You’ll also learn how to MegaDate and mine for dates on your own.

As your professional wingwoman, I’ll provide you with 12 coaching sessions and will set you up on 15 dates.

Our process involves sourcing around 800-1,000 candidates, interviewing 50-75 of them and scheduling first date introductions for you via Zoom over the course of 6 months.

To get started, book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with yours truly.