If you’re on the dating app, Tinder, it probably comes as no surprise to you that profiles are basically a grabbag of good, bad, bizarre, and hilarious. Have you ever wondered what using Tinder can be like from a woman’s perspective? I took it upon myself to scour the app for some really funny tinder headlines for guys, so that you don’t have to.
Go ahead take a look at the 32 examples below and avoid being one of these guys at all costs. And don’t forget, when you’re done viewing and possibly selecting a headline from my list below, go ahead and take a sneak peek at another article I crafted on the best Tinder opening lines for guys. and another article I wrote on some of the best Tinder bios for guys.
Combining a great headline with an excellent opening line will increase your chances of getting more dates, more responses, and eventually finding a great girlfriend. The below might be funny, but avoid them at all costs:
Just to make sure I have this right:
Ok…gotcha…
Don’t be this guy.
Even if a woman was all about hooking up casually, she will never let you see her naked if you foist some incoherent nonsense on her.
Good lord, where do I even start with this one?
If you don’t have kids, you don’t need to mention it. If you aren’t dramatic, you don’t have to state that. You know who usually likes to overemphasize that they’re “not into drama” — people who are really into drama!
Also, no judgment to porn stars (or, I guess ex-porn stars in this case), but letting women know you got it in on camera might not be the best opening line.
And please don’t advertise that outside of nailing people for money, you like to take massive bong hits. This is definitely one of the worst Tinder headlines for guys you’ll find.
Pointing out anything you perceive as a flaw is always a no-go when it comes to Tinder, which is why this is one of the worst Tinder headlines ever.
This just seems like a random list of adjectives you think women will be attracted to. It shows absolutely no personality and doesn’t give any real information about who you are as a person.
Also, you don’t have to say “no hookups.” No one has to keep saying this. It should be clear from your headline that you’re not a player.
This isn’t the absolute worst of the worst Tinder headlines, but it certainly could use some major improvements.
I like that he infused some humor with the “long walks on the beach” cliche by changing it to “long walks to the refrigerator.” However, just leaving it at that could make women wonder if all you do is Netflix and chill by yourself, rather than get out and experience life once it a while.
Just NO.
What in the holy F made you write the line, “Looking for a girl to serve me first when dinner arrives.” Are you asking us to cut up your steak for you or something like you’re five years old?
Women appreciate chivalry, meaning they appreciate being treated with consideration and respect. I bet you don’t like to pay on the first date either, am I right?
Hard left swipe on this guy. Don’t copy this one.
I can’t totally tell if this is intended to be a funny Tinder headline or is a masked cry for help. When it comes to getting women to swipe right on you, it’s probably not a good idea to mention the following things:
Don’t ever say “if it matters” when it comes to writing a Tinder headline. You’re putting it in your profile, so obviously it matters.
Also is this thing — >3 — supposed to be a heart <3 or a set of balls? This worst Tinder headline is a great example that you should always proofread things before posting them.
This absolutely terrible Tinder headline basically reads like an advertisement for ways to convince women to never hang out with you.
I’m kind of confused as to why this guy is on a dating app in the first place, given that he seems to want to spend 100% of his time with his cell phone in bed?
If you have social anxiety and want to get out there in the dating world, this is NOT the way to do it.
Did you just accuse every single woman viewing your Tinder profile of having a smoking problem and/or an asthmatic attack?
This guy is like the personification of WebMD, where you Google “remedies for seasonal allergies” and the internet lets you in on 12 different terminal illnesses that could be causing watery eyes.
No thank you.
Including facts about yourself that involve being active is always a good thing, as is anything to do with cute animals. But this guy failed big time with the first and last parts of his Tinder headline.
No one wants to hear about your drug and alcohol use because it’s basically stating you don’t have your S together and that you may need to go to rehab.
And as for the “looking for friends” line — what the hell are you doing on a dating app if you only want friends? Have you not heard of Facebook?
FAIL.
Saying things like “ask away” gives women absolutely nothing to work with. You’re basically coming off as lazy and like you’d rather give them a task of getting to know you rather than divulge anything about yourself. Another one of the worst Tinder profiles and headlines a guy could use. Emulate this and you’ll be single for life.
This is so bad.
Any woman that wants to steer clear of potentially catching an STD will swipe left on this type of headline.
The only people that might swipe right are sociopaths and narcissists who recognize this toolbox is likely dumb enough to get manipulated and will likely steal his wallet.
First of all, this is way too much text for a freaking profile. I’m not even going to get into everything this guy listed because I might have fallen asleep midway through reading this.
But here’s the big takeaway — women are not here solely for your entertainment, so don’t create a headline that makes it sound like that’s all you want.
You want “company” when you’re in town, which makes it sound like you just need someone to hang out with in between the times you’re back on the road.
Also, why are you even mentioning your job situation before talking to someone? Put something engaging about yourself and then if you start hitting it off in private messages, you can set up a time to go on a date when you’re in town and later let her know about your job situation.
If you’re going to be one place for one night, book a freaking hotel. A woman is not your pit stop or your own personal Air BnB.
The unfortunate thing here is that this guy could be a cool guy, but you definitely wouldn’t be able to tell. This is one of the worst Tinder bios for men because is so chock full of don’ts and nos (“don’t do drugs, don’t drink, don’t have tattoos, no drama, etc. etc.) that it just comes off as super negative.
Also, if you have a child or children, I can totally understand why you would mention this in your profile. You want to weed out anyone who would be opposed to dating a guy with kids.
However, why not talk about how you love being a dad and also offer some cool things about you regarding your interests? Don’t bring up details about your divorce, your child support, custody, and anything else that is TMI when it comes to a headline.
I’m not dissing your love of God, but is that the only thing you want to tell women who you are hoping to go on a date with? Would you like to let us in on anything cool and unique about your personality or interests?
NEXT!
In this tagline, here’s what this guy has basically told me:
Tinder headlines should be a representation of your best self, as should your photos.
Don’t put eerily obscure headlines or headlines that looked like you copied and pasted from someplace on the web you found when you googled “Inspiring quotes for people who have sucky days 100% of the time.”
Major buzzkill alert.
The last few lines in this read like that guy who was SUPER INTO the D.A.R.E. program in middle school (and was possibly a nark) decided to join Tinder.
It’s great that you don’t do drugs or commit crimes — that’s something that should just be a given with anyone you date and doesn’t need to be implicitly stated.
Also, “I have a great job, I have a car, a valid license” — THIS SHOULD JUST BE A GIVEN.
And why did you say “valid license”? You’re almost trying to hide something.
I hate when people borderline use their Tinder headlines as a therapy session. Talk to people you currently know about how much you hate your job or start looking for a new one — complaining is always a don’t when it comes to online dating apps and dating in general.
Also, what is up with the “I’m only on here to make some new friends” line? DO NOT GO ON A DATING APP if you are there for friends.
JUST DON’T DO IT. Definitely one of the absolute worst Tinder headlines.
That might have seemed sexy in Twilight, but it doesn’t work in real life.
When you put something like “workaholic” in your headline, all I’m reading is that it’s going to be hard for you to fit me in your schedule.
Also, loving sports is not unique. Tell me something compelling about your favorite team or a sport you like to play and maybe I’ll be more interested.
For another thing, this tells us that Drew forgot to update his headline for an entire year because Tinder is letting us know he’s now 26.
Women like initiative and this guy’s definitely failing in that department.
I read this headline three times and I still don’t even know what the hell is going on here.
“I’m full of sugar and make a great daddy…” Wtf?
“I don’t like ego and badass is poison.” Seriously, WTF?
Also, when you put “3 incomes and counting and I still don’t have a real job,” I’m just assuming you’re either a drug dealer or your parents and grandmother are your three sources of income.
Of course, you don’t, but painting the broadest of brushstrokes is always a bad move when it comes to bad Tinder taglines. You also come off as overly eager to agree which can be disingenuous.
Clearly, the creation of this headline was preceded by a minimum of five bong hits. The only thing I’ll give him credit for is that he is VERY HONEST (although, I have a feeling the “9inches” part might have been greatly exaggerated), i.e., no poor woman would ever be caught off guard by the fact that he’s the worst.
But seriously, this might be the MOST funny Tinder bios for guys example you’ll ever find. It’s as much a laugh riot as it is a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink and smoke yourself into nonsensical oblivious.
This one reads like a guy who saw five horrible taglines and thought to himself, “Is there a way for be to stuff all of these into one tagline? Challenge accepted!”
Oy.
Let’s go over the problems here, shall we?
I hope you got some laughs out of these headlines. I know I did. But do me a favor and never use them.
For better ideas check out my posts on the Best Tinder Taglines for Guys, the Best POF Headlines for Guys, and the Best Tinder Opening Lines.
I also recommend that you use a variety of different dating apps. Here’s my article on some other free dating sites and apps for you to sign up with.
Want to get more Tinder matches and stay out of the friend-zone for good? Is your goal to get a real life girlfriend in 90 days? If so, I’m here to help.
Head over to my calendar and book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we will go over your dating roadblocks and create an action plan to help you crush your dating goals. We’ll also determine if my 3 month coaching program could be a fit for you.