Will I be single forever?
That’s a question that plagues many the single person (if not EVERY single person) at some point, or even several points, throughout their dating trajectory. I’d like to offer you a resounding “NO” in response to this question. Unfortunately, there are several factors that can come into play if you’re feeling hopelessly single. And if you don’t address certain things that are hampering your dating goals, then I can’t guarantee you’ll end up finding someone.
The good news is that there are several simple steps you can take if you feel like you’re having trouble in the romance department. And when you’re willing to address certain roadblocks and open yourself to a few strategies, you’re basically guaranteed to find a compatible, long-term partner.
Take a look below for reasons you may feel like you’re going to be single forever, as well as some strategies to help you find a long-term partner.
Reason #1: You Aren’t Financially Ready
If you’ve constantly been asking yourself “will I be single forever,” consider taking a look at your bank account and/or credit score. Are issues in the financial department affecting other areas of your life?
When it comes to dating, it’s really important that you are financially stable before entering into a relationship. Yes, your money situation and your romantic situation will invariably overlap.
Stress at a job where you are overworked and underpaid, unemployment, or transitioning into a new job can be detrimental to your health.
If you find yourself stressed because of finances, check out my article on five reasons you need to fix your finances before searching for love.
If you’re in a job that you feel overworked and underpaid, consider searching for a different job. Job websites like Indeed.com offer a large pool of job opportunities and you can customize your search based on your interest and experience. Also, consider the following options to help you become more satisfied with your job and finances:
- Talk to friends and family to see if they know of job opportunities that are a good match for your skills and desired salary
- Ask for a raise at your current place of employment. Use this article as a reference before speaking with your supervisor
- If you are dealing with student loan debt, check out this website for some great resources and tips
Reason #2: You Don’t Believe in Yourself
It doesn’t matter where you came from, who you are or what you look like — low self-esteem is something that affects a plethora of people.
When you don’t believe that you are worthy of women, you exude that negativity and subconsciously send a signal to women that says, “I’m not the guy you should choose.” Believing you’re not good enough for a woman to date can subconsciously make women share your belief, no matter how wrong it is.
Feeling confident and believing that you are worthy will have a HUGE impact on your dating life. And if you’re one of those “I’m the nice guy that always finishes last” types, do away with that mindset right now.
Remember, being a nice guy is not a turn off for women but coming off as a pushover who constantly second guesses himself is.
Change your internal dialogue. Instead of saying things like “I’m going to be single forever,” change that sentence to something like, “I am going to find the right woman one day.”
Reason #3: Social Situations Are Difficult For You
One reason you may find yourself frustrated by a lackluster dating life is social situations. Not everybody is a fan of going out all the time or hanging out in crowds. But you don’t have to be an extrovert to find love.
Did you know that some of the most seemingly outgoing people are actually introverts? Bill Gates and Albert Einstein are two supremely successful people that find energy in solitude. Recently, during an interview, Amy Schumer and Oprah discussed being secret introverts.
If you’re an introvert, that means you require more alone time than your extroverted counterparts. That’s not to say that you don’t enjoy being around people or are unable to make friends (being introverted can sometimes be confused with shyness or social anxiety, but it’s completely separate from those things); an introvert simply garners energy from their alone time and often is most creative and productive during moments of solitude.
Still, if you’re an introvert, date nights that include a crowded restaurant, a noisy bar or a concert/festival are anything but appealing. If this is one factor that has held you back from the dating scene, consider these options instead:
- Go to a high-end movie theater for a matinee when there aren’t likely to be as many people around
- Visit a museum
- Enjoy tea or coffee at a quiet cafe
- Go for a hike
Both introversion and extroversion are personality traits, not disorders, but people sometimes falsely assume an introvert suffers from social anxiety.
Social anxiety disorder is characterized by extreme fear, anxiety, and stress during — or in anticipation of — social situations.
If you feel you may suffer from social anxiety and that this is impacting your love life, check out my article on how to meet your dream girl by limiting social anxiety.
Reason #4: You Keep Choosing the Bar Scene to Meet Women
Before online dating became mainstream, bars seemed to be the place of choice to meet new people.
I have no problem with going to bars and being open to meeting somebody there. Bars can be a great place to meet people and even find a potential match. But if you’re using the bar scene as your primary location for meeting women, this could be a reason that you’re still single.
While bars can be one of the places you choose to go to meet women, it shouldn’t be the only thing in your dating arsenal. Plus, bars can be extremely crowded and noisy, which makes for more competition, as you are one of several men looking to chat up a girl at the bar.
Speaking of getting chatted up, women also tend to get hit on a lot at bars. Women don’t primarily use bars as a way to meet men and often are there to enjoy a night with friends. Because of that, it can be downright frustrating to go to a bar and get hit on.
Fortunately, there are several ways you can meet women outside of the bar scene, including:
- At a friend’s event
- A group workout class
- Online (my faves include Bumble and Hinge)
- Adult sport leagues
- Speed dating events
Learn more about the drawbacks of going to bars to meet women, as well as other alternatives to the bar scene, here.
Reason #5: You’re Not Over Your Ex
Before you clicked on this article, what prompted concerns that you may be single forever? Are you dealing with a bad breakup? If so, you may not be ready to reenter the dating world until you have healed.
You may have tried to date again following the breakup, but things went awry. If you’re enduring a heartbreak, it can be natural to want to rebound in order to ease the pain. But in actuality, entering a new relationship or attempting to enter a new relationship when you haven’t healed from a broken heart can be detrimental to your wellbeing, and also unfair to anyone who starts seeing you during this time.
Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to take the time you need to heal from a bad breakup before getting back out there. You can also check out my article, 5 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart, for strategies specific to these types of painful situations.
Strategy: Get Healthy
If you feel like you’re going to be single forever, it may be time to check in on your physical health. If you’re not exercising regularly, now is a great time to start working out.
Regular exercise can make you look and feel better. This helps you become more confident and attractive to women. One reason exercise makes us feel so great is that working out causes a natural release of feel-good hormones known as endorphins.
But exercise is only one component that leads to a healthy body and mind. It’s also really important that you have a balanced diet. Certain foods (such as processed sugars and caffeine) can be associated with anxiety and depression. Conversely, foods that are nutrient-rich and include very few ingredients (i.e., an apple and piece of broccoli only have one ingredient) tend to improve mood and reduce stress.
Holistic exercises like yoga are also a great way to burn some calories while also easing the mind.
Strategy: Spend Time With Friends and Family
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean that you’re alone. Spending time with friends and family that you trust can be a great way to get out of your head when you’re feeling bad about single, and also serves as a reminder that you have support.
Moreover, when you make time for the people in your life instead of dwelling on whether or not you’ll be single forever, you actually end up in more situations that are ripe for finding someone to date. In fact, most long-term relationships end up happening due to mutual friends.
According to a study, a majority of the 2,373 people surveyed said that they had met their significant other through mutual friends.
Strategy: Use Dating Websites and Apps to Meet Women
Online dating has become extremely mainstream and there are a plethora of free websites and apps to choose from if you’re having trouble meeting women.
Check out the online dating section of this blog for a variety of tips, tricks, and resources when it comes to online dating.
When coaching clients, I always suggest downloading more than one dating app. Apps like Bumble, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel tend to be great for finding people who want a relationship, as opposed to a one night stand.
If you’re looking for expert help to get you to reach your goals faster when it comes to online dating, I’m here for you. Check out my Dating Profile Services. Whether you want a full dating profile writing service or someone to simply assess your current profile, I’ve got you covered.
I also invite you to check out my comprehensive online dating course. This course is designed to help you crush your dating goals, find a high-value girlfriend, and stay out of the friend-zone for good!
My Ultimate Strategy To Change You’re “Single for Life” Mindset: Megadating
One of the most valuable and effective dating strategies is megadating. Megadating is a process that involves dating several different people at the same time. Doing this keeps your social calendar full, diffuses energy and improves confidence.
And best of all, it’s fun!
Megadating shows you that you have a TON of options when it comes to dating and that you don’t have to settle for a mediocre relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone. It worked for me and it can work for you too.
Want to learn more and crush your dating goals? Book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today.