Men love to say how complicated women are.

We say that women don’t communicate, that they ask us to read our minds and that they’re more fickle than a swing-state politician.

But honestly, we’re just as capable (if not more) of disappearing from a relationship as a woman is.

If you’ve ever been ghosted, you know just how hard and annoying it is when a man who you thought you had a connection with does his best Houdini impression and straight up disappears.

After the flowers, kisses, and plans for the future, he pulls a disappearing act, leaving you wondering – why did he disappear?

As a dating coach who has coached both women AND men for years I have the inside scoop into why he never called, texted, or DMed you back.

Let’s take a walk around the psyche of the man who has ghosted you and learn how you can avoid this from ever happening again.

Why Did He Stop Texting Me?

Sure, every man is different. Every man will have his own reason for disappearing. But chances are the reason will be one of the following.

FOMO

FOMO, or fear of missing out, has plagued the dating world. 

With dating apps, both men and women have access to thousands of singles at all times. Look, I wouldn’t doubt that the guy who never texted you back enjoyed your date. The thing is, when he can simply bust out his phone and start swiping, he’s in a FOMO mindset. He’s always looking for the next best thing.

This wasn’t an issue for our parents. They were limited to singles that were in their social circle, attended their church, or lived close by. But in the 2020s, it’s a different ballgame.

He ostensibly has endless romantic options. He can’t fathom settling down. If he did he’d always have this itch that there is someone better out there and would never feel comfortable.

FOMO and the paradox of choice will be your biggest obstacles moving forward. Not only will the men you date be distracted by other women on dating apps, but you, too, will be tempted to swipe to the next one even though you just went on an amazing date.

Fear Of Commitment

What does his dating background look like?

Has he never had a serious relationship?

It could be that he’s not the type of guy that settles down. Maybe he has an unhealthy attachment style, had poor romantic models growing up, his parents divorced, or he’s too distracted by the many options he’s found on Bumble to ever settle down.

Or it could be something less severe. Maybe he just wants to focus on his family, jobs, or other endeavors.

Chances are, though, that if he was texting you one day as if everything was okay and then leaves you on read indefinitely, it’s because he has a more serious commitment issue going on.

If this is the case, you just dodged a bullet.

Uncertainty About Own Feelings

He sees dating as an investment.

He has invested time, money, and emotional energy into you. Yet at some point he is going to second guess his feelings (even if all is going well). He’s asking himself if he should really continue to invest in this person, or if he should look elsewhere.

This disappearing act happens because he’s reached an inflection point. If he’s not 100% sold, he’ll cool down his investments.

A man who is uncertain about his own feelings will disappear for a time before popping up again. He’ll explore other romantic avenues and take his time before reconnecting. If he does reappear, he may hold you at a distance or breadcrumb you.

He’ll leave you on the backburners but will shoot you a text every once in a while just to keep you interested enough that should he ever decide to reconnect, it won’t seem like he’s reaching out to you out of the blue.

He Just Wanted Sex

I’m going to tell it to you straight. If you’re wondering “he did he disappear?”…..some guys only want one thing.

Once they have it they’ll stick it on the mantelpiece like a trophy and move on to the next conquest. This would be fine if he had articulated his intentions from the start and you signed on.

But so many times men are unclear about their intentions and whisper sweet nothings into our ears until we’re naked.

If he hits you up after some time, be warned that he probably only wants one thing.

He Met Someone Who Is A Better Fit

When we like someone, it feels like the whole world stops.

Like you and him are the only people in existence. This fairytale feeling is coveted by all but can give us a warped understanding of the situation.

You two may have an amazing connection, but this isn’t a one-horse race. There is a carousel of people in our lives. Whether we like it or not, we’re always competing.

If you two aren’t exclusive, don’t be surprised when you learn that he’s dating other women. Even if you think you two are vibing (even if you are vibing), he still has the capacity to like someone more than he likes you.

Why Did He Disappear? He Just Likes The Chase

To some men, all we are, are fish in the sea.

Once they’ve caught one, they’ll enjoy us for a moment, then release us back in the sea.

Some men just like the hunt.

They want the gratification that comes with winning a woman’s affection. They aren’t serious about building something lasting and meaningful. The last guy you dated liked the high he got from the chase. As soon as his prey stopped running he lost interest.

While this may make you sad, don’t let it. It’s best that this guy isn’t in your life.

He’s not worth the investment.

Not Emotionally Available

We can only speculate as to why.

Maybe it was his upbringing, maybe his mother’s sick, maybe he struggles with human connection regardless of the sex.

The reality is that he disappeared. If emotionally unavailable is how you want to fill in the blank and make you feel better about yourself, do it.

Don’t waste time on men who aren’t ready to date.

Afraid Of Getting Hurt

Bouncing around from first date to first date is easy on the heart.

Having a superficial connection with someone is safe. It may last only a second, it may be fleeting, but it won’t lead to a broken heart. A man who is afraid of getting hurt thinks this way.

Allowing yourself to truly let go and invest in one person is terrifying. Heartbreak feels worse than breaking a collarbone. No doctor can fix it, medication can’t help, and there is no recovery timeframe.

He runs because he’s too much of a coward to put himself in a vulnerable – yet profoundly gratifying – position.

Solution: MegaDating

MegaDating is the dating strategy that shapes everything we teach here at emlovz.

MegaDating is simply proactive dating with the intention of quickly finding a compatible partner.

In practice, it looks like going on 20 dates in 90 days.

Going on ample dates in a short period of time will help you compare and contrast suitors.

It will also help you naturally weed out men who aren’t willing to commit or who demonstrate red flags. When we date just one person we tend to cling. We put all our eggs in one basket and hope to God it works out. But when we date multiple people simultaneously, we’re given the confidence to not settle and choose the most compatible partner. No longer will you linger and waste away in a toxic relationship. You’ll have the confidence to walk away knowing that there are other men out there who want to be with you.

Sure MegaDating will help you find a compatible partner but it will also make you more appealing to men. Men love a woman whom men want to be with. If he knows you’re dating around (something you can make clear on a first date) he’ll want to compete. He will see you as a more high-value woman and will try to beat out the competition to win your heart.

Dating Decoded

To teach you how to quickly find a highly compatible partner in just weeks and become the most eligible single in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll provide you with the male perspective on your dating situation
• Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and get fit?
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting men online

Our Community

Dating can be a lonely experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

Join our community to be surrounded by single women and coaches that understand what you’re going through and are invested in your success. Once you join you’ll be a member for life.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.