Have you been wondering, “Why am I not getting matches anymore?” when it comes to Tinder and other dating apps. If you’ve hit a dry spell in your online dating ventures, it can be disheartening. It’s one thing to go on a mediocre date or have things fizzle out early in a relationship. But when you find yourself unable to even go on actual dates because of a lack of matches, it can make you want to throw in the towel.
But before you delete all your apps and bid the tricky world of online dating adieu, listen up.
Online Dating Doesn’t Have to Suck
Online dating doesn’t need to be frustrating. It doesn’t have to be a chore and — if your number of matches has gone from slim to zilch — there are several strategies you can use to rebuild some traction.
- Best Tinder Bios for Guys
- Tinder Taglines for Men who want more than a fling
- Best Bumble Profile Example for Men
Along with the many other facets that came with that experiment, this analysis helped me understand exactly what men need to do in order to attract women and make them swipe right on dating sites and apps. Today, as a professional dating coach, one question I frequently receive from clients is, “Why am I not getting matches anymore?”
That’s why I’ve decided to share some expert insights with you to help you succeed in the world of online dating.
Why is Online Dating a Great Way to Meet Someone?
Before smartphones and Tinder, online dating was considered a taboo subject. If you actually did connect with someone and start a relationship, the two of you were liable to scramble for an alternate (i.e., made up) story to tell at parties and with close friends as to how you met. (Meeting at the grocery store was a popular tall tale during this time of the late 90s and early 2000s.)
But nowadays online dating is extremely mainstream and people won’t bat an eye when telling you that they met online.
This is great news for introverts and shy guys, as well as people who are just generally unsure of how to navigate the world of dating.
If you’re not a super outgoing guy who regularly approaches women in bars, dating apps could be your most important asset. Otherwise, how do you plan to meet someone? There’s really only two options:
- Meet on a dating app
- Meet in person
Seriously, Though, Why Am I Not Getting Matches Anymore?
If you’re utilizing effective strategies and swiping up a storm each day, you should be matching with enough people that you can send at least 10 messages a day.
When you’re not receiving enough matches to send at least 10 messages a day on dating apps, the problem lies in your photos.
In this day and age, where a left swipe closes the door to any potential connection, you have to take a photo that wins a right swipe. Because you are not interacting with these women in real life, your photo is the most important part of making a first impression. And you have to make that impression instantaneous. What I mean is, each and every photo needs to be a winner.
If she swipes left on you, you’ll never have the opportunity to impress her with your clever personality or interesting date ideas because she’ll never see your profile again.
Why Are Photos So Important?
If you are wondering, “Why am I not getting matches anymore?” it may be because your photos aren’t competitive. Other guys are doing a better job and they are inadvertently wooing away all the women you’re interested in.
So why is it critical to have great photos? Photos are your barrier of entry to connecting and competing on dating apps. You get two seconds for her to decide whether she swipes right and if your photo isn’t a great representation of the best version of you, then she won’t swipe right and you’ll never have the chance to connect with her.
Strapped for Time?
Maybe the dating world has been a hard road to hoe because you simply don’t have a lot of time in your schedule. Perhaps you’re a single parent and/or you work a lot.
In these cases, it’s even more important to take great photos and master online dating and dating apps because it’s the only scalable way to connect with singles.
I typically recommend that clients attend at least one social activity per week when they want to meet women online as well as out and about in the real world. But if your calendar is overloaded, dating apps are practically your only option outside of hiring a matchmaking service at a premium price.
For this reason, it’s critical that you make it your mission to post awesome photos ASAP!
How to Know if Your Photos Are the Problem
If you think the answer to your question, “Why am I not getting matches anymore?” may lie in your photos, but you’re not totally sure, you can test them on Photofeeler.
Photofeeler is a photo testing tool that assesses the appeal of your photos. This helps you select the most attractive images, whether you want to use those images for social media, business or dating.
When you test photos through Photofeeler, aim for 80% and above, especially in the attractiveness category. Don’t use photos that are below 80%, even if it’s just by a hair.
You should also test photos you wouldn’t think to use. Have you ever recoiled at a photo of yourself and asked to not be tagged in that photo, only to be greeted with an influx of responses that include things like:
- “Aww, but I LOVE that photo of you!”
- “What are you talking about? You look so good!”
We don’t see ourselves the way that other people see us. That’s why, often, the photos we hate the most are the ones that people like best.
When you use Photofeeler, make sure to collect at least 25 votes to guarantee a statistically significant sample size. Review the notes section and see what feedback people have left for you. Use that feedback to find better photos.
Don’t Have Recent Photos?
If the photos that you have posted on your online dating apps were taken back in the days before Instagram filters or even camera phones, you need to update your photos. Women can tell if a photo is super out of date, which could be the answer to your question, “Why am I not getting matches anymore?”
Don’t have enough recent photos, enlist the help of friends, or a professional photographer.
It’s not enough to say, “I just don’t take good photos.” If you want to compete on dating apps in this day and age (especially if you feel these apps aren’t working for you any longer), you have to take great photos. You can enlist friends to help you with this or — if your income allows it — hire a professional dating photographer. Yes, they actually exist!
Professional photographers are trained to make you represent the best version of yourself via photos.
Be Strategic with Your Photos
In my article, Top 5 Online Dating Photo Tips for Men Who Want More Matches, I go into detail about what makes a winning photo and what types of photos you should avoid at all costs.
When it comes to apps, you are usually allowed to post at least five photos. You can be strategic when it comes to the type and order of the photos by doing the following:
- Make your first photo a headshot. You don’t want her to experience any confusion about who you are, so don’t make her play a game of Where’s Waldo right off the bat by posting a group shot.
- Show her what your mama (or papa?) gave you by making your second photo a full body shot. Wear a flattering outfit, stand up straight and don’t fold your arms.
- The third photo can be a group shot of you and friends or family.
- The fourth photo can be a hobby shot. It’s important to include your unique passions in your photos as well as your bio because this will attract women who share interests with you. And if you’ve been reading some of my articles, you know that finding shared interests is one of the best ways to build trust and rapport during the early stages of a relationship.
- The fifth photo should be of you and an adorable animal because cute animals make everything better.
Why Am I Not Getting Matches Anymore: Conclusion
Turn “Why am I not getting matches anymore?” into “I’m getting more matches than I ever imagined!” by heading over to my calendar and booking a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. Although this article (along with the other articles on the EmLovz blog) contains expert advice, I’m interested in getting to know more about you so that we can create a dating action plan together that fits your unique needs.
Don’t have time to chat? No problem! Check out my The EmLovz Academy. The EmLovz Academy is a comprehensive online dating course for men that comes equipped with all the tools you need to attract gorgeous women and stay out of the dreaded friendzone. This course also contains an online dating module that will detail exactly what types of photos you specifically should use for your dating apps.
Finally, if you need help creating a dating profile from scratch or need an assessment of your current online dating profiles, check out my Dating Profile Services. These services will quickly improve the number of responses to your outgoing messages, the number of incoming messages you receive, your overall profile views, and more.