It’s Emyli, America’s online dating coach. You’re watching EmLovzTV, the place to be if you’re looking to meet and attract the perfect partner. Are you wondering: when should a woman have sex with a man? If yes, make sure and read this article before you sleep with him.
Today we’re launching our “Should I Sleep With Him” series. Over the course of the next 4 episodes, you’re going to learn how to not become a stage 5 clinger, especially where sex is concerned.
Why is this important? Because if you make the right choices when you’re dating (especially about sex), then you won’t blow it with Mr. Right.
So first watch my video, then follow my 2 steps so you never have to ask yourself “When Should a Woman have Sex with a Man?”:
So how do you do it?… I’ll show you.
Step #1: Start Mega-Dating Immediately
What is megadating you ask? Megadating is the process of dating several men at the same time to diffuse your energy and increase your self-confidence. This is important because being laser-focused on just one guy equals failure.
When any woman focuses all of their energy on just one guy, that excess energy builds up so much that it makes them go crazy. I know this because I’ve been that woman. It’s one of the main reasons why I jumped into, and completed a 100-date experiment.
Very important: In order to keep your cool and not scare him away, you need to mentally protect yourself from the crazy side. And we all have the crazy inside.
Megadating also helps you to avoid settling for mediocre. And if you’re smart enough to watch this video series–and do the work–then you’re damn smart enough not to settle for mediocre… you feel me?
Good, glad we’re on the same page.
On to Step #2. Download the Mr. Right Checklist
If you’re gonna sleep with a guy on the first date, make super certain that he’s not “the one.”
How? Make your Mr. Right Checklist.
For starters, download your own free checklist right now by clicking the link above. Don’t forget to complete this form fully (before you sleep with him).
Next, list the top 20 must-have qualities that you’re looking for in Mr. Right– try to balance out the physical qualities with the mental qualities.
Now, next to each quality on your list, write 3 characteristics that are easy to spot in a person who has these qualities. To illustrate this concept I want you to think differently.
You know how people talk about “red flags” when they see a characteristic that indicates a negative trait?
Well this is the opposite of a red flag–this is a white flag–this is an iceberg–this is like a friggin’ iceberg of rainbows and ponies–it’s a sign that there could be some super amazing stuff under the surface. This is like the first time you try mochi ice cream and you don’t know how it’s gonna be but that first bite just gets ya hooked and then you gotta have it all. It’s like that. This is an indication that this guy might be Mr. Right. nice:)
And WE DON’T BANG MR. RIGHT on the first date ladies.
No We Do Not.
Ok, back to the Mr. Right List. I’m gonna give you an example.
So when I was single, one of my Must-Haves was a partner who was “street smart.” Now, when I think of “street smart” it looks to me like a person who is social, who doesn’t conform to the “norm” just to please people, and who’s confident–both in their speech and in their body language.
So then I take that information and I put that in line 1 of my Mr. Right List…
Now, if any of the men you date have even one of the mental characteristics on your list, then you should NOT sleep with him until date #3.
It’s ok to sleep with a guy on the first date if–and only if–you are not interested in having a relationship with him…
Why? Because you can’t take it back.
If you tend to get attached after having sex with a guy, then you probably shouldn’t have sex right away–with anyone.
On the flip side, if you can compartmentalize sex and emotion into separate spaces, then you are good to sleep with the guys you don’t want a relationship with.
For this, we move on to Bachelor Scoring. Bachelor scoring is the process of ranking a bachelor’s boyfriend potential according to your own predetermined set of factors.
Women can score bachelor’s in a number of ways: by assigning points, by implementing rankings such as A, B, C, or D, or by using terms such as “hot,” “warm,” or “cold.”
Regardless of which method you choose, scoring methodologies should incorporate a combination of physical, intellectual, and behavioral attributes.
Why is this important? Because it helps you segment out the friends-with-benefits guys from the potential Mr. Right guys so you know who you can and CANNOT have sex with.
I like to use grades to explain my methodology but you can create a different measurement system based on your own preferences.
For me, A Team Bachelors are men who fall into both mental and physical qualities/characteristics list.
B-Team Bachelors are men who fall into the physical qualities list but not the mental qualities list get scored as B Leads (AKA Friends with Benefits).
Benched Bachelors = Men who fall into neither category
We’ll use this Bachelor scoring system in our next episode to determine exactly who you can and CANNOT have sex with if you want to score yourself a Mr. Right.
Step #3: Don’t Have Sex On a First Date with members of the A Team
Why? Because in doing so you are jeopardizing your chances of being seriously considered for anything more than a booty call. If you’re ok with that, then have at it… but if you know you want more or even think there might be a small glimmer of hope that you might end up liking him… do not sleep with him.
I know what you’re probably thinking… “but I have a friend who slept with a guy on the first date and now they’re married.”
Cool–how many friends can you count on 1 hand that slept with the guy they married after banging the first night… I’m guessing it ain’t many… and you know why? Because they are the exception to the rule… they are not the rule.
You wanna put all your eggs in one basket? Fine… but don’t come crying to me or anyone else when he doesn’t invite you over to meet the family.
Look… you ain’t gonna get no turkey dinner with your cooch out. That’s just a fact.
Here’s what guys think when a girl puts out on date #1. I’m not sayin’ I agree with them but it’s subconsciously communicated.
- If it happened once, it’s happened a thousand times. (i.e. you’re probably not super faithful and you’re probably not wife material)
- You’re easy to get which equates to low-value
And now you know a little more about when you should and should NOT sleep with a guy.
For more great tips to help you attract the perfect partner, download my free women’s guide to fun, sexy dating at EmLovz.com.
Thanks so much for watching EmLovzTV and keep up the good work because you deserve the perfect partner.