Does it feel like no one is good enough for you?

Like everyone is your million-person city is just not date material?

Odds are there are plenty of singles in your city that you’ll mesh with – if you let yourself. But if it’s been months or years since you met someone you’re really into, you might be a little too picky for your own good.

Let’s find out if you’re being too picky and give you a way to stop being so choosy, and open yourself up to dating amazing people who you would have otherwise rejected.

But first, a story.

Are You Being Too Picky with Dating?

100-Date Experiment

Hi, I’m Em.

When I was in my early 20s I had a dating checklist.

The guy I dated must be Latino, an amazing dancer, and a CEO, among other things.

I came from a suburb where I was done dating white guys, loved dancing so wanted to date someone who could match me on the dancefloor, and of course wanted to date a super ambitious and professionally successful man (because why not?).

But in college that all changed.

In my last year of college I went on 102 dates with 50 men in just over a year, I called it MegaDating.

I went on this dating marathon to see if love really existed and figure out the best way to find it.

Initially, I stuck to the script I’d been using and only dated men who fit a certain mold.

But as I dated more men and slowly began dating men who didn’t check every box off my list, I began to realize that there were more important qualities than what I had written down in my dating checklist.

I realized that one’s race, religion, profession, and other things I had written were all kind of superficial. Sure, they all play a role in who someone is, but to discriminate because of these reasons was to deny myself the chance to meet truly amazing men.

Initially, I wanted a guy who was tall enough to I could wear my hooker heels, had the same political background as me, was a CEO, etc. But after dating 52 men, I realized there were more important things.

So I took my eraser and scrubbed away just about everything I wrote on my checklist.

Instead, I wrote things down like:

• Good listener
• Kind
• Passionate
• Great sense of humor

Nothing else really mattered.

By reprioritizing what really mattered, I was able to meet my now-husband, a man who is not 6 feet tall, a CEO, or Latino but kind, funny, passionate, and a good listener. 

What’s Your Checklist Look Like?

Are you like 20-year-old me?

Be honest with me, what’s your checklist?

Do you need your man to make more than $200,000, have 50,000 followers, and be over 6 feet tall?

And guys, do you need your lady to be a 10/10, shorter than you by 3 inches, and at least 5 years younger?

Filling up your checklist with superficial desires means your draining the dating pool. Where there was once water and options overflowing the side of the pool only droplets remain, the rest has evaporated.

Sure a superficial ego-drive checklist makes sense in a way.

Naturally, you’re going to be attracted to someone with fame, good looks, and men, but those things play a much smaller role in the long run.

The good look will fade, height will become irrelevant, and you’ll become blase with the car they drive or annoyed at the generational age gap.

What matters is who the person you’re dating is rather than what they possess.

Recalibrate With MegaDating

It’s gonna be difficult to re-write your checklist if you keep going out with the same people OR if you’re not dating at all.

So here’s what we’re going to do.

Instead of tasting that same flavor you’ve been eating for years, we’re going to taste every flavor of the rainbow. Figure out the kind of person you like by doing a cannonball into that dating pool and really dating around.

That means dating people completely outside of who you’re usually into.

Forget about religion, race, economic background, upbringing, whether they’re a dog or cat person, or if they drink or not.

Wipe the slate clean by going out with a range of people so you can recalibrate what’s important to you.

MegaDating is all about dating prolifically.

In our program, Dating Decoded, we teach men and women how to go on 20 dates in 90 days. 

This will introduce you to plenty of new people so you can better decide which traits you’re most attracted to and are important in a long-term relationship.

But MegaDating also has a ton of other benefits, including:

• Helps avoid settling
• Refines perfect partner
• Expands dating pool
• Increases confidence
• Improves dating skills
• Is just super freakin’ fun
• Shortcut to dating

The whole purpose of MegaDating isn’t to date for the fun of it, it’s to quickly find your perfect partner. Notice how I didn’t say, a partner, but rather, the perfect partner. 

When you date around you have a chance to compare and contrast potential partners and test your previous assumptions about the kind of person you were most into.

By going on 20 dates in 90 days you’re able to very quickly figure out who your ideal partner is AND quickly find them.

When on these dates, become a researcher.

Take notes after your dates. Be mindful of what you were attracted to and what repelled you. Create and alter your ideal partner profile as you continue to date and use it as your lodestar, guiding your towards that ideal partner .

A Student’s Journey Into The Unknown

One of my first students came to me with his romantic wishlist written in permanent marker.

He had to date a woman who aligned with his political leanings, was an atheist, and was not allergic to cats.

In 2022 I went to his wedding.

The only thing his wife is more dedicated to than taking her allergy medication is going to church every Sunday.

He could not have found a woman who didn’t align more with his wishlist. The thing is, as he MegaDated, he realized that his checklist was just a rough draft.

After he began to date his now-wife, he realized what was really important to him was an intellectual connection. That finally, he found someone he could go to museums and talk about art with.

Only after MegaDating did he realize that there were super important things that he was overlooking.

Dating Decoded & MegaDating

Now I have a challenge for you.

Take that checklist of yours and light it on fire… but wait!

First I want you to intentionally date people different than you. Seek out people that are different so you can ascertain if your bias is supported by your own dating experience.

Instead of making an assumption and possibly jeopardizing your love life, determine via MegaDating whether or not your assumptions are true.

Challenge yourself.

For more MegaDating guidance, we encourage you to sign up for Dating Decoded.

To teach you how to quickly find a highly compatible partner in just weeks and become the most eligible single in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting singles online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded you’d be joining a community of supportive singles and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.