How to Overcome Anxiety on a First Date
Wondering how to overcome anxiety on a first date? You’ve come to the right place.
Anxiety is often the nasty little culprit when dates go awry or when you find yourself avoiding the dating scene altogether. When you get anxious, even the mundane can seem catastrophic. Anxiety can make you spill a drink, stumble over your words and even leave you feeling like the walls around you are about to come crashing down.
Know that you’re not alone. Millions of adults are affected by anxiety. And even those that don’t experience generalized anxiety can have trouble figuring out how to overcome anxiety on a first date. After all, first dates can be nerve-wracking for pretty much all of us.
But you don’t need to let anxiety hinder your success. Below, I’ll offer some tips and strategies for managing your nervousness and how to overcome anxiety on a first date.
How to Overcome Anxiety on a First Date Tip #1: Self-Awareness
Anxiety is a funny thing. It can make things (like dates, meetings, getting together in a large social setting) seem borderline life-threatening. But the thing is, even if things go awry and something embarrassing happens, it’s not the end of the world.
Think back to a particularly embarrassing time in your life that you’ve recovered from. Remember how terrible things felt at that moment? But now, you’ve moved past it. You may even be able to look back and laugh.
It may sound simple, but a little self-awareness can go a long way. Simply knowing that your anxiety isn’t going to cause you physical harm, and a faux-pas isn’t going to cause an apocalyptic event can help you get through periods of anxiety.
Don’t try to force your anxiety away. Rather, understand that you may feel some discomfort for a while, but that the situation is temporary. You’ll be breathing easy again before you know it.
Tip #2: Have a Beer Before the Date
Now, if you have issues with alcohol or react badly to alcohol, ignore this tip.
But if you’re able to relax after a beer or two and only consider yourself a social drinker, this can work well when overcoming first date anxiety or first date jitters. Having a beer can ease those nerves so that you don’t feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. And when you loosen up a bit, you’re able to behave more authentically and are likely to make a better impression.
Again, don’t overdo it. You don’t want to have more than a couple drinks on a first date, or any early dates for that matter. Save the raucous nights for when you and the person know each other well and are ok holding each other’s hair back.
Tip #3: Warm Up Your Mouthpiece
Want to impress her on a first date but feel like your anxiety is forcing you to give her the silent treatment? You need to warm up your mouthpiece. This can really help you overcome anxiety on a first date.
Just as it is important to stretch before a big workout, I always advise my clients to warm up socially to overcome anxiety on a first date. Go to a coffee shop in your neighborhood and chat with the baristas. Or, call a friend a couple hours before the date and loosen up with a relaxing conversation. You can even practice good eye contact and engaging with the clerk at a grocery store if you need to pick up some things.
Whatever you do, make sure you do this a couple hours before a date. This will get you out of your head, which can help you overcome anxiety on a first date before the actual date has even begun!
Tip #3: Exercise Daily
It’s important to work out daily in order to increase testosterone and boost confidence.
Working out releases chemicals in the brain that elicit a sense of well-being. These happy chemicals are known as endorphins. While many people exercise purely for aesthetic reasons, I think it’s important to focus on exercise from a physical and mental standpoint.
Endorphins decrease pain, alleviate anxiety and can improve your self-esteem. And guess what else? Breaking a sweat can increase energy and concentration as well. Thus, working out can help you in a variety of areas of your life — not just dating.
But when it comes to exercise, don’t overdo it. You don’t need to achieve herculean levels of athleticism to improve your self-esteem and increase anxiety. According to studies published in the International Journal of Allied Health Sciences and Practices, low- to moderate-intensity exercises seemed to have the most positive effect on self-esteem.
Spend 30 minutes a day taking a run or a power walk if you’re new to exercise. Acclimate yourself to some strength training by lifting weights at the gym.
There are also holistic exercises like yoga that pose monumental benefits for anxiety.
Tapping Into Your Inner Zen
According to Psychology Today, practicing yoga for just a few minutes a day can significantly improve self-esteem. You can find classes near you with a simple Google search. Or, if you feel self-conscious, you can find a plethora of free yoga classes on YouTube.
My friend recommends a YouTube yoga series called Yoga With Adriene. This yoga instructor offers a fun, accessible approach to yoga that can appeal to die-hard yogis and novices alike. I love how relatable she is and that she finds ways to infuse humor into her videos.
She also offers free yoga instruction for specific issues, like problems with concentration, back pain and, yes, anxiety.
Along with yoga, she also offers a meditation for anxiety.
Overcoming First Date Anxiety Tip #4: Say YAS to Meditation if You Have Anxiety
The issue with anxiety is that it pulls you away from the present moment and leaves you catastrophizing over “What if?” Anxiety is like this nasty, incessant little voice in your mind that throws every worst-case scenario at you until suddenly everything seems like it’s impossible.
But the truth is, we’re all capable of overcoming challenges and finding success. If you have anxiety, though, it’s really important to reign all that rumination in and bring yourself back to the present moment. That’s where meditation comes in.
There are several science-backed benefits of meditation, including:
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Improved emotional health
- Better self-awareness
- Better sleep
- Pain reduction
- Potential reduction of addictions, such as alcoholism and food addiction
As is the case with yoga, you can likely find a meditation class in your area with a simple Google search. Or, simply look up meditation apps and videos online for easy and cost-free meditation sessions.
Tip #5: Get Good Sleep
Proper shut-eye is a great way to alleviate anxiety. A night of rest can prepare you to take on the day and night.
If you’re having problems sleeping, check out these tips from the National Sleep Foundation so you can stop counting sheep and greet each day more energized and less anxious. When you’re not feeling irritable from a lack of sleep, it’s much easier to overcome anxiety on a first date.
If you need a new bed, let me recommend the Naturepedic EOS (not a paid endorsement). My boyfriend and I just purchased one last year, and it has improved our lives dramatically.
Tip #6: Do Social Activities Before and After the Date
If you’re familiar with my failproof dating blueprint, you know I offer the following recommendations for the first three dates:
- First Date: It should be something that is less than an hour and does not exceed $15.
- Second Date: This date should be active and free. Consider something like hiking or visiting a museum. Eventbrite is also a great place to find free events.
- Third Date: This is the date where you can have a nice, intimate dinner. The third date is often when you will end up sealing the deal.
Notice that the first date doesn’t have to be any longer than an hour. That alone should limit your anxiety. Plan to do things with friends you’re comfortable around before and after the date.
Not only will the social activity beforehand help you overcome your anxiety, but you’ll also have an excuse to leave the date after an hour. Sometimes having an exit strategy is a great way to overcome anxiety on a first date.
Now, let’s say the first date goes AMAZINGLY way. The end of the hour is approaching and you’ve already made those post-date plans I advised. What do you do?
If things are going extremely well, you can ask your date if you would like to join you and your friends. You now have secured a second date instantly! Furthermore, you’ll get the opportunity to see how this woman interacts with your friends.
Tip #7: MegaDate
No one is immune to first date jitters. We’ve all been there. One of the best ways to increase your confidence and decrease anxiety in the dating world is through MegaDating. During my 100-date experiment, I used MegaDating as my main strategy. By the end of the experiment, I had found a long-term, compatible partner. Years later, we’re still going strong and even co-founded my coaching business.
MegaDating worked for me and it can do the same for you.
What is MegaDating?
MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse energy by keeping your social calendar full. When you MegaDate, your anxiety decreases because you are constantly putting yourself out there and practicing your dating approach. And after all, practice makes perfect.
Moreover, MegaDating keeps you from settling for the mediocre. Because you are constantly meeting new and interesting people, you won’t feel tempted to chase after women who ultimately friendzone you. And dating multiple people lessens the pain of rejection while also quelling fears about never finding “the one.”
It shows you firsthand that there really are tons of fish in the sea.
Overcome Anxiety on a First Date, Second Date and Beyond
Ready to conquer your fears and find the woman of your dreams? I’m here to help.
I’ve helped men all over the world overcome their fears in order to crush their dating goals. I’d like to do the same for you.
If you’re ready to get started, head over to my calendar and book a 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. During our session, we’ll delve deep into your specific dating roadblocks and create an action plan to help you crush your goals.
And if chatting 1-on-1 isn’t your thing, no worries. I also offer a comprehensive online dating course for men that includes everything you need to attract high-quality, gorgeous women.
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