Americans don’t have sex anymore.

I mean, some do.

Ashton Kutcher and Tiger Woods definitely get it on, but sex in America ain’t what it used to be.

Despite the genesis of dating apps and female liberation, people in their 20s today are having significantly less sex than their parents had when they were their age.

The sex recession is real, with 23% of all adult Americans going sexless in 2018. Oddly enough, it’s young people that are suffering most. A whopping 28% of male Americans ages 18-30 reported having no sex in 2018. That’s right, not even the tip.

I broach these stats not to make the future look flaccid, but to demonstrate that having sex -and by extension dating- isn’t as easy as it used to be. Didn’t go on a date recently? -no worries. Neither have millions of other Americans.

Some of the problems modern daters struggle with come in the forms of entertainment and technology. 20 years ago there were fewer ways to entertain yourself at home. Today you can play any music you want, binge Netflix until you lose feeling in your right buttcheek, or literally transport yourself elsewhere with the help of VR. Because of this, people are simply opting to stay in.

Another obstacle is financial. Americans want to date, but when the middle class is shrinking, fewer Americans are willing to splurge on dinner and a movie for two.

Even the way we ask women out has changed. A 2017 Economist poll found that 17% of Americans ages 18-29 believe that a man asking a woman out for a drink “always” or “usually” constitutes sexual harassment.

What have we come to?

There is a complex matrix of issues that have changed the dating landscape, making modern dating more confusing and tiresome. But instead of focusing on the issues you can’t change, let’s deal with the ones you can.

Learning how to date becomes a much simpler endeavor when you’re not trying to jump over multi-story obstacles.

How to Date Like an Expert: The Variables We Can Control

Dive In Head First, Or Not At All

You downloaded Tinder, amassed a bunch of matches and chatted with a few women. But there’s something crucial missing about your Tinder experience thus far.

Biological anthropologist and chief scientific advisor to Match.com, Helen Fisher, says that Americans don’t understand how to use dating apps. “Dating app”, is a bit of a misnomer. Really what Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge are, are introductory apps.

So that’s great that you’ve matched with some women on Tinder, but I’m afraid that isn’t the point of the application.

You’re not swiping through dating apps for a female pen pal are you?

Why did you sign up for a dating app in the first place? Were you just bored or were you serious about using the app as a tool to find a woman that you can one day call your own?

This is the first rule of modern dating. It’s all in or nothing.

You’re wasting your time sending senseless memes to women you meet online if you aren’t serious about ever meeting them in person. Doing so makes you part of the 50% club. 50% of Tinder users have never dated a match. Don’t contribute to this statistic.

Look, dating can be terrifying.

But on the other side of fear is magic.

There’s a reason you’re so scared of dating. It’s because you want so badly what’s on the other side of rejection. You want to play tipsy scrabble with that cutie from Bumble, you want to go on a weekend getaway to Napa with the girl you’re starting to get serious about, you want to find a woman that makes you so happy you tear a cheek muscle.

Here’s the catch. You only get these things if you go all in.

Prepare For Rejection

Dating and rejection go together like a wedding ring and a ring finger.

To get to one, you’ll have to go through the other.

A book can be written about dealing with rejection, and in fact many have.

Entrepreneur, author, and founder of Rejection Therapy, Jia Jang, sought out to get rejected 100 times in 100 days. He even vlogged his experiences. Jang was being held back socially and professionally by his fear of rejection.

So he decided to engage in a little exposure therapy. For 100 consecutive days, his goal was to get rejected. He asked strangers for $100, requested donuts in the shape of the Olympic rings, and challenged a CEO to a staring contest.

Dealing with rejection was difficult at first. His ego was fragile and not used to getting prodded and challenged on a daily basis. But with time he learned to deal with it. Take what Jia learned and apply it to your life.

The truth is that there is no single method or pill you can take that will give you the courage to stare rejection in the face and not back down. The un-sexy truth is that the only way to learn how to deal with rejection is to get rejected, over and over again.

In preparing for rejection also take into account why you’re even putting yourself in the situation for rejection. Most likely you’re doing so because the risk of rejection is worth it for the reward. It’s worth being rejected by the woman you hit it off with at your buddy’s party because should she accept your date TDL, you’ll be going on a date with a woman that could potentially become your girlfriend.

Remember that rejection hurts so much because you want so badly what she’s offering. If you’re rejected by a woman and feel nothing, you probably never wanted anything to do with her in the first place.

External Variables Are Always In Play

You’re never fully in control.

Every person is living a life as complex as yours. They have their own goals, insecurities, idiosyncrasies, and emotional states.

You have no idea if your date is just getting over a 7-year breakup, has a diagnosed psychiatric condition, an STD, is looking for $$ or free dinners, etc. It’s your job to filter these people by asking first, second, and third date questions that provoke an answer that helps you decide whether or not you want to see them again.

Don’t expect to learn everything about a woman after a few Hinge messages. To have a more well-rounded understanding of an individual you have to meet them in person. There’s no other substitute for a face to face date.

Through the use of a MegaDating strategy, you’re able to quickly weed out women that aren’t to your liking.

MegaDating

MegaDating adheres to a unique dating blueprint that offers detailed guidelines on the first three dates.

Ya see, to increase your chances of meeting a woman that you’d like to spend the rest of your life with you’ll have to date around -MegaDating will help you do that.

Through this prolific dating strategy you’ll learn how to mine dates, court women, and quickly figure out if you’re compatible or not with the woman sitting across the table. Let’s outline the MegaDating strategy as it pertains to the first three dates.

1st Date

A first date is an introductory date. Whether you met the woman you asked out via an app or at a party, chances are she’s still a stranger. Why flash the cash or commit to a five-hour date with a person that you don’t even know?

First dates shouldn’t last longer than an hour. You also shouldn’t spend more than $10.

Look, when you MegaDate, you’ll be dating a lot of women. If you date 3 women a week for three months without MD, you could be spending upwards of $2,000 on first dates alone. Save your time and money and stick to the plan.

2nd Dates

Second dates should always be active. Ditch the restaurant and coffee shop in exchange for a bike ride or hike. Make sure the date is outside and during the date-time.

If first dates are limited to $10 you’d think spending more on a second date would be a good idea right? Wrong. Second dates are free. This is to ensure that she’s not into you just for your money or access to fine dining. If the connection’s strong enough you won’t need money to have an awesome date.

Also, make sure you’re building rapport by touching her often. No need to touch her leg or lower back. Keep these touches innocuous enough while building sexual tension.

3rd Dates

If she’s made it to this stage it means she’s special.

Show her what she means to you by turning off the financial and time restrictions. Feel free to ask her out on a romantic dinner date. Third dates should be romantic, full of touching, and close to your apartment. Should things become romantic you’ll want to easily transition this romance from the bar or restaurant to your bedroom.

How To Date: First Date Tips

First dates are the most fragile period of the courting process. Should a first day go poorly, you’re done for. Here are three tips to ensure that you have a pleasant first date.

Make Your Intentions Clear

No you’re not meeting up to gossip about Love Is Blind or discuss your buddy’s wedding plans. This isn’t a business meeting and no, you’re don’t need help getting your website up and running. This is a date, plain and simple. But does she know that? Make things clear before the first date by asking her out with a TDL.

Prepare An Exit Strategy

As we’ve discussed, first dates should last no longer than an hour… but is she cool with that? Before the date begins tell her you only have an hour to hang. Making this clear prior to the date will quell any questions she might have about why the date only lasted an hour. Tell her you need to meet up with friends, see your parents, finish a project -hell you can even tell her you have a one-hour first date policy.

Stay Positive

Don’t talk about how difficult work is or how you haven’t gone on a date in a decade. You can open up to her without being negative. Joke around, keep things light, and determine whether or not you’d like to see this person ever again.

How To Date: Second Date Tips

Second dates are just as fragile as first dates. These three tips will ensure that she accepts a third date proposal.

Sweat

Sweating is sexy. Get physical on a second date by going for a hike, bike riding, hitting up a spin class, dancing, etc. What’s important is that you two aren’t stagnant. Science shows that couples that engage in physical activity together increase their happiness, strengthen bonds, and ultimately fall in love.

No Time Limit

First dates are like protracted speed dates. Second dates are the opposite. Don’t rush things. There’s only so much you can learn from someone in an hour. Being active on a first date will show you how your date operates in a different context. Pay attention to how she reacts to challenges, how her humor changes depending on the setting, how she treats others, etc.

Recall Your First Date

Did you pay attention to what she said on a first date? Show her you were listening by harkening back to something she said on a first date. Use what you learned on the first date to create jokes and broach subjects you know interest her. Continue to learn more about her by questioning things she talked about on your first date.

How To Date: Third Date Tips

This is the big one. Financial and time restrictions have been done away with. It’s on this outing that you can reasonably expect to be physically romantic. With that in mind, heed these tips.

Meet Up Close To Your House

Thing are heating up. You two have been kissing for the past ten minutes and you’re thinking now would be a good time to ask her back to your place. The only problem is that you’re 45 minutes away from your apartment. Don’t let this be you. Pick a third date venue that’s no longer than 15 minutes away from your abode.

Prepare Your Living Quarters

Clean your room and tell your roommate you might bring a woman over tonight. These are variables you can easily control. Do your laundry, put some candles in place, and update your sex playlist.

Consider upgrading your bedroom/living room lighting to dimmable LED. My boyfriend and I just did this and it’s a total aphrodisiac.

Prep Your Body

Trim your hair, throw on some cologne, stretch if you need to, do whatever you think necessary to make the sexual experience more enjoyable for the both of you.

How To Date With Dating Apps

30% of adult Americans have at one point used a dating app. It’s now the most popular way to meet your partner in America. Like them or not dating apps are en vogue. Dating apps are great tools single men can use to find a partner; but only if they’re used correctly. There’s no use bringing a bat to the plate if your back is facing the pitcher.

The easiest change you can make to your profile is to get rid of all selfies. A Hinge study found that selfies were 40% less likely to get liked than the average photo. Selfies are basic. You want to post high-value candid photos of you while you’re playing sports, traveling abroad, or engaging in your favorite hobby.

As we’ve mentioned, dating apps are really introductory apps. Don’t get sucked into a never-ending conversation. Set a 10 message exchange limit before asking her on a date or getting her phone number.

When you do ask her on a date, be specific and use a TDL. TDL stands for time, date, location. Instead of saying, “hey wanna go out sometime?” use a TDL and say, “Hey Sam, are you up for trying Frog Leg’s newest IPA at 7 p.m. this Wednesday at Hollow Cow? There’s only 10 kegs shipped into San Francisco– so now’s our chance….”

How To Date Without Apps

So you’re old school, I get it. Even though dating apps are happening, there are those that just can’t get into them. So how can you excel in the dating world without one?

The biggest issue dudes that snub online dating face is figuring out how to mine dates. The first two places to find love are at work and within your friend group. But once these shallow social streams have been tapped where do you look?

Here’s a brief list of places you can go to find dates:

• Workout or bootcamp class

• Yoga class

• Health food store

• Parties/concerts

• Religious community event

• Meditation retreat, mindfulness class, or psychology workshop

• Event for a social cause or charity

• Volunteer event

• Co-ed adult sports league

• Professional networking event

• Speed dating event

Change Your Frame Of Mind

Guys have a tendency of psyching themselves out. They see a hot girl across the room and freeze up. More often than not they’re too afraid to strike up a conversation with a woman because they’re afraid of failing.

When success means scoring a phone number that leaves quite a lot of room for failure. Instead of having these expectations why not frame conversations as just that, conversations, nothing more. This will take away the pressure of performing.

Sharpen Your Social Skills

Starting a conversation on Tinder is easy. You just say “hi.” This message is expected. You and the recipient are on a dating app so there’s no confusion as to your intentions. She’s obviously open to receiving a message from you because you two already matched.

But this dynamic changes drastically when IRL. Become a social maven by simply having more conversations. Talk to people on the subway, while waiting in line at the restaurant, and yes, even while riding the elevator together. Approach both men and women. It’s these conversations that will refine your social abilities and prepare you for striking up conversations with an attractive female.

Conclusion – Just Hire A Freaking Coach

Modern dating is exasperating.

The rules are changing so rapidly it’s tough to keep up. I mean, in what world do we live in when 17% of Americans think that asking someone out for a drink is sexual harassment?

To demystify the dating scene, let’s team-up. When you book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me you’ll be hiring a professional wingwoman. During this intro session we’ll discuss your roadblocks, create an action plan, and see if my 3 month Signature Program could help you achieve your goals in record time.

With my Signature program you’ll be equipped with the skills you need to dominate the dating scene. We’ll address everything from creating the perfect dating profile, to selecting the best photos for your dating apps, how to create an ideal partner, how to flirt with strangers in coffee shops, how to build enough tension to make her want to see you again and again, and much more. Throughout the process, we’ll create a dating blueprint tailor-made to your needs.