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7 Things to Know if You’re Dating in San Francisco in Your 30s for Guys

By Emyli LovzAugust 30, 2018SF Bay Area
dating in san francisco in your 30's for guys

If you’re dating in San Francisco in your 30s, you have a lot to celebrate. San Francisco is an amazing city, teaming with awesome things to do and interesting people to meet. Being in your 30s also offers you a lot of advantages, being that you are in that “sweet spot” where a broad range of women is looking for guys just like you — yes, YOU!

Still, there are tips and tricks that you need to know to get the most out of your dating experience in this decade. Before I get into the top things to know if you’re dating in San Francisco in your 30s, I want to mention a very important dating strategy that all singles should use if they want to reach their dating goals fast.

MegaDating is a dating process that I used during my 100-date experiment and it helped me find a satisfying, long-term relationship. This strategy involves dating several different women at the same time in order to diffuse energy and keep your social calendar full.

When you MegaDate, you learn exactly what you want in a relationship, learn how to cope with things like rejection, and become a lot better at attracting high-value partners.

If you keep MegaDating in mind as your go-to strategy when following my dating in San Francisco tips, you will end up having a better overall dating experience and increase your chances of finding the woman of your dreams!

Dating in San Francisco In Your 30’s Tip #1: Remember You Have Leverage

Remember that, as a man in your 30s, you tend to have more leverage — particularly in a place like San Francisco.

San Francisco is not a cheap city to live in. In fact, it is even more expensive than Los Angeles, which is notorious for a high cost of living and expensive…everything.

But you’re in your 30s and living in San Francisco, which means that you’re probably more settled in your career. And someone who, quite frankly, has his s**t together is extremely appealing to women. If a woman has a choice between a guy who is still in college, living at home, or in his 20s bunking with a bunch of roommates, she’s going to choose the guy in his 30s who has already gotten himself established — a guy like you.

#2: Don’t Blow All Your Money on the First Couple of Dates

Remember, just because it’s San Francisco and just because you’re established doesn’t mean you should spend a ton of money on the first and second date. You’re still getting to know the person at this stage and the main goal of these dates is this:

  • First date: Build trust and rapport.
  • Second date: Escalate sexual tension.

So that you don’t break the bank on someone you’re not in an exclusive relationship with yet, the first date shouldn’t cost more than $10 and the second date should be something active and free. Yes, you can afford to spend more than that, but choosing cost-friendly options for the first and second date is strategic.

Remember that you should be MegaDating is order to find the best possible match. That means you should be going on at least two or three dates a week (hence filling up your dating pipeline), so it’s not wise to be spending a huge chunk of change of date one and two. Moreover, it takes some time to get to know somebody and suss out any red flags. Along with keeping the cost down and the mood light on the first couple of dates, this game plan prevents you from being financially taken advantage of.

Once you get to a third date with a woman you really like, you can go all out with a nice dinner and truly loosen the purse strings. At that point, you’ve already established a solid chemistry with her and it’s time to assess whether or not you two are in alignment as far as morals and values go.

FYI, the third date is also the date where — if all goes well — physical intimacy occurs.

#3: Cast a Wider Net

Lots of guys make the mistake of only choosing women within their own age range when it comes to the women they approach out and about, meet through friends, or search for on dating apps and websites. The thing is, you end up missing out on some great dating experiences and potential partners when you restrict yourself this way — particularly when you’re dating in San Francisco in your 30s.

According to data published in Dataclysm by Christian Rudder (one of the cofounders of OkCupid), men in their 30s are in higher demand among both younger and older women.

When you date outside of your age range, you open yourself to a variety of new experiences, which allows you to learn more about yourself as well as what you truly are looking for in a long-term partner. To widen your net, set your age settings on dating apps to a range that starts 10 years younger and extends to 10 years older.

#4: Take Advantage of the City

It’s San Francisco! Our city is jam-packed with many affordable (even FREE) options. So when you’re planning — whether it’s the first, second, or third date — take advantage of San Francisco’s many breathtaking activities.

To help you out, I actually came out with a detailed list of 50 San Francisco date ideas to help you at every stage of the game.

Remember that when you are planning a date, you want to keep the following in mind:

  • The first and second date should ideally take place during the daytime, preferably Saturday. Sundays and Mondays are the worst times to plan a date because people have work on the brain.
  • First dates should be no longer than an hour.
  • Make every date creative and compelling by choosing something that speaks to your date’s interests and also introduces her to a new experience.
  • Make sure that each date is planned out and has a specific time, date, and location — known here at EmLovz as a TDL.

#5: Use Your Lunch Hour to Your Advantage

Got your sky rockets in flight? Looking for a little afternoon delight? Easy there, champ. Remember to save that bounce back plan for the third date.

But as far as a delightful afternoon goes, turn your work lunch hour into something special by squeezing in some amazing first dates. Get out from behind your cubicle and invite a date out for one of my favorite daytime dates — coffee at Ferry Building Marketplace.

Using your lunch hour as a first date also keeps you from sharing too much too soon because it forces you to cut off the date once the hour is up. Be strategic when you get to the hard stopping point and let her know that you want to continue your conversation but have to head back to work. This gives you the perfect setup to ask for a second date.

#6: Stay in Shape

Make sure you maintain your peak physical shape. You’re in your prime time, don’t blow it by not working out. Younger men may naturally be in better shape but you have what they don’t, career stability, which means serious dating leverage. Don’t blow it by letting your body go.

You don’t need to work out as if you’re training for a triathlon, but an average of 45 minutes of activity (at least 3 to 4 days a week) will help you maintain your health, improve your physical appearance, and leave you feeling more confident in the dating world.

#7 Be Different (Because That’s What SF Is All About)

How many hours are you spending on your dating apps like Tinder or Bumble? Not getting any matches on Bumble? Think that re-wording your Tinder bios will completely turn around your dating success? Are you spending one or two hours a day or more on dating apps? Guess what, your competition is doing the same thing.

My advice- set a swiping and outreach goal every day and stick to it. For example, if you’re spending two hours on dating sites/apps per day, cut that in half.

Use the extra time and go out into the real world to make connections. Join a co-ed softball team. Checkout Meetup groups. Do you love to hike? Then go out and join a hiking group. Make friends like you used to back when you were a teenager. These connections will eventually land you organic dates. And guess what, your competition isn’t doing this. I wrote an in depth guide on where to meet women other than bars that you can review.

Dating in San Francisco in Your 30s Conclusion

As a dating coach in San Francisco, I’ve gained a breadth of knowledge on how to get the most out of this city and the bevy of dating opportunities that come with living here.

If you would like to get more individualized attention when it comes to navigating your way through dating in the Paris of the west, head over to my calendar and book an introductory Skype session with me today. During our session, I will help you create a dating plan that is tailored to all of your specific goals and current roadblocks. If your future goals are to find a girlfriend or long term partner, we’ll discuss if my three month coaching program is right for you. For local clients, I also offer mock dating services, so don’t forget to ask me about that in our introductory session.

Working with me, you will be able to conquer the things that have been standing in your way when it comes to dating and get closer to finding an amazing relationship with the woman of your dreams.