Catfishing is every online dater’s worst fear.

Sure organ harvesting and getting robbed are up there too, but catfishing is feared far and wide due to just how easy it is to do and how common it is.

One minute you think you’re dating an international pop star and the next second (or months or years later) you find out it’s just some guy in his Mom’s basement.

Catfishing is so mainstream there’s even a show dedicated to it and a Netflix doc that follows the story of football star Manti Te’o as he gets catfished during his time at Notre Dame.

But what exactly is this confusing dating trend?

What Is Catfishing?

Catfishing is when you’re led to believe you’re dating one person only for the truth to be vastly different.

For example.

Let’s say you meet a lovely lady on Bumble.

Her name is Laura. She’s gorgeous, reads Hemingway in her free time, and one time even partied with Mike Tyson.

You two have been chatting it up for sometime now but for some reason she never wants to meet in person, she doesn’t even want to FaceTime. It’s weird considering you feel like you already know everything about this person.

Then after a little digging you find out Laura doesn’t read Hemingway nor has she partied with Tyson. In fact, Laura doesn’t look anything like her profile, she lives in Alaska and her real name is Nicole.

She fabricated her entire profile.

That’s what catfishing is all about.

Creating a fictitious profile in order to accomplish their goal.

But what do people catfish in the first place?

The Drive Behind Catfishing

It’s easy to say people catfish in order to scam someone out of money.

That clearly is one reason people catfish, but it is one of many reasons people do so.

I mean, there are much less time-consuming ways to scam someone out of money.

Some catfishers do it because it’s fun, as NBA star Chris Anderson learned the hard way. Others do it to explore their sexuality as one female catfisher wrote, “I was catfishing women because I am attracted to women but have never acted on it. I pretend to be a man as I would prefer to be in the male role of a hetero relationship.”

An Australian media outlet solicited reasons from their catfishing readers and found 2/3rds of respondents did so in order to escape. Something was insufficient in their life that they wanted to remedy. The easiest way to do so was to create an alternate life online where they can be the person they want to be and live the life they want to live.

Catfishing for many users is a way to get something they can’t in the real world.

Does this mean they should be pardoned?

Well, that’s up to you.

You can easily have sympathy for someone while acknowledging that their actions are wrong and ultimately hurtful.

But while this is a moral grey area, what isn’t is your desire to not be catfished.

So how can you figure out when you’re being misled online?

Signs You’re Being Catfished

You never really know you’re being catfished until either 1) the catfish tells you or 2) you meet IRL and see that you’ve just wasted the past few months chatting with a fake.

Although there are certain red flags that indicate you’re being catfished or that at the very least the person you’re chatting with is a sketch-ball.

They Never Want To Video Call

It’s odd isn’t it?

You’ve been talking with this person non-stop, you feel like you know them intimately and yet you’ve never spoken in person or via video?

But every time you try to remedy that they have an excuse.

They don’t look good on camera, are super busy, their phone camera is broken, etc.

Chatting via FaceTime is always a good idea before investing too much time into any one person (especially if you can’t meet them IRL anytime soon). Not only will a video call confirm they’re real but it’ll confirm you two have chemistry. Even if you don’t think you’re being catfished, a video call is a good idea.

You Can’t Find Them Online

Personally, I think a quick little recon of the woman you’re talking to is a good idea.

Check out their IG, Tik Tok, or even LinkedIn just to confirm they are who they say you are. You don’t want to invest in someone that misrepresents themselves. A quick 5-minute dig could save you a decent chunk of time down the road.

If they don’t have any SM presence you might want to take this as a red flag. But hey, some people are just old school. If you still have your doubts, just FacTime them or ask for specific types of pictures to confirm they’re real and not just stealing someone else’s photos that they found online.

Online Profile Too Good To Be True

Be honest with yourself.

Why is that 10 talking with you?

She could date any man in the world and yet here she is on a Friday night glued to her phone sending you texts.

I don’t doubt you’re a great guy, but this just seems too good to be true.

If her photos look like they were taken for her shoot with Vanity magazine OR are super blurry move on to the next one. Chances are she’s catfishing for malevolent purposes.

Asking For Money Or Personal Info

Maybe this catfish straight up wants you to Venmo them money. Or maybe they want to steal your identity.

Whatever the case may be always be careful with who you send personal information to.

In 2020, 23,000 US citizens reported being victims of catfishing. Their combined losses totaled more than $605 million dollars.

Catfishing can irrevocably damage your reputation, credit score, or just be a massive waste of time that leaves you bereft of any faith in humanity and terrified to ever go online ever again.

So how can you make yourself less susceptible to catfishing?

The Catfish-Proof Dating Strategy

Using the techniques above are all great ways to combat catfishes, but there are a few more strategies I’d like to impart.

The main reason men are susceptible to online scams is because they’re desperate for a relationship, especially if they only rely on dating apps to meet women.

An app like Tinder has 9 women for every 1 man. That means women can date up whereas men (even if they’re above average) struggle to score matches.

It’s for that reason if you were to compare your Tinder to your female friend’s Tinder they would probably look like this.

Men allow themselves to get deceived because they’re so desperate for something good to happen. Even if it seems too good to be true men will make excuses to explain this seemingly incredulous event.

Oh finally a woman that sees me for the awesome guy I am!

So how do you address this desperation?

MegaDating

MegaDating is a proactive dating strategy.

It involves dating multiple women at the same time. Doing so is simply the fastest way to meet your forever partner. However, dating various women at once is also the best way to avoid settling or getting overly infatuated with a woman you haven’t even met yet.

It’s tough to become obsessed with a single woman when you’ve got dates lined up around every corner.

So how does MegaDating work? I mean getting a new date has to be difficult right?

MegaDating can only be effectively down if you’re tapping into all your social channels.

What might some of these channels be?

• Dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge)
• Meetups and Facebook Groups
• The gym
• Work
• Co-ed sports leagues
• Yoga
• Your friend circle
• Parties

There are a million ways to meet women. But are you really tapping all these social channels?

Americans are lonelier than ever, that includes women!

We want to meet other people, to date, so have romantic relationships, but just don’t know how.

Putting yourself out there and being proactive is guaranteed to work.

If you don’t believe me just ask one of the thousands of men who have already enrolled in our program.

Once you start dating around you’ll be much less likely to fall for that catfish that refuses to meet up with you. It’s difficult to get hung up on a woman you’ve never met when you have a whole roster of women you just went out with.

Next Steps

Ditch the catfish and start dating real women IRL.

Get matches, set up dates, and start finding compatible women you could realistically see yourself with in the long term.

We’d love to learn more about your and talk about your relationship goals and how we can help you achieve them with our program, Dating Decoded.

When you enroll in our program you get access to:

• Extensive online curriculum covering every aspect of modern dating
• Two coaching sessions every week where you can ask questions and learn from our coaches
• Mock dates so you can practice what you’ve learned before dating someone IRL
• Online community to bond with fellow men in your position and get help on demand (often times our students meet up in real life too!)

Set up a 1-on-1 Zoom call so we can talk about your romantic future now.