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Too Busy for Dating or Just Your Excuse?

By Emyli LovzJanuary 21, 2018Strategy
Are You Too Busy for Dating?

Are you too busy for dating? Are you hoping for love, but can’t seem to spare the time to talk to women, set up dates, and face the possibility of lots of rejection before finding the one? Or perhaps you believe that finding love is something that should happen naturally, requiring very little effort on your part.

When prospective clients contact me for coaching and tell me they’re ready for love, one of the first questions I ask is “are you too busy for dating”? If the answer is yes, I probably have some work to do on changing their belief systems regarding love–whether it’s conscious or not.

Let me explain. A lot of my clients have this false assumption that dating is more for having fun before settling down. They also think think that finding “true love” is ultimately beyond their control. Once single men realize they’re sick of being single and want to find a long term girlfriend, it’s this kind of mindset that hold them back from success in love. Unfortunately, a lot of us adopt this type of thinking from a very early age. We’re all taught to believe that love only comes when we stop looking for it.

So usually, when people say that they’re looking for love, what they really mean is that they’re waiting around for it to happen. After all, what’s meant to be, will be, right? So why make time or put a lot of effort into something that’s going to happen–or not happen–all on it’s own?

Working Hard to Fall in Love

Well, here’s what I believe, after years of research and a successful career as a dating coach for men: we are not entitled to love. Love is just like your career, your physical fitness goals, and anything else you really care about that requires hard work. And believe me, you get what you put into it. This is why I teach my clients valuable strategies like megadating, and offer intensive coaching sessions on how to date to find love. I like to really emphasize the idea that love should be an obvious decision after considering a very large set of options. Not necessarily some kind of magical and fated connection with “the one”.

So, are you too busy for dating? Or is it that you think love should just fall into place, without any real effort on your part?

Are you too busy for dating, really, or is that your excuse for avoiding the possibility of rejection?

If love really is something you want in life, (and who doesn’t?) read on to figure out what’s really going on and how giving priority to the search for your perfect soulmate will change your life for the better.

An Active Search for Love: Dating with Purpose

Trust me, I know. The dating game can be tough for someone who’s playing for keeps. Without preparing yourself for success in the field, it can be quite intimidating to think about the emotional effort and hard work that goes into planning even one date, let alone several within a month.

Are you too busy for love? Take a moment to evaluate yourself and determine whether it’s really true. Sure, we’re all busy–but we take time out of our lives to focus on what’s really important to us. So why are you giving your chance at love the shaft?

Like I said earlier, we often fail to see the need to date frequently when we’re hoping to find love. We deeply believe that love is something that will just happen, without needing to work for it.

Here’s what “looking for love” means to me. It means having a strategy, being patient with your options, and meeting lots and lots of people (here’s an article on where to meet women other than bars). Looking for love means going out of your way to figure out what type of person you want to fill such an important role in your life. Additionally, it also means keeping your standards high, and never settling for less–even if it means being alone.

As intimidating as it sounds, it is worth the effort. Trust me, I know. In 2011-12, I went on a 100-date experiment. The effort was enormous, but the benefits were countless. Not only did I end up finding the love of my life, I learned a lot about myself and how important it is not to settle. And I want the same thing for you.

Why Are You So Busy?

Perhaps, you really are too busy. And that’s understandable. It’s hard for people to not be “too busy” these days, especially with the internet and constant connectivity. We’re always in communication with someone that needs our attention, whether it’s people from the office, our clients, our family and friends.

Sound familiar? Try to figure out what’s keeping you so busy and what you can do to eliminate distractions, as much as possible. If you’re exhausted after work or on the weekends, try to solve this problem by talking to your boss and negotiating your schedule.

Also, look at your sleep, diet and exercise routine. It’s common sense, but it’s true–most of us aren’t getting enough sleep, eating healthy enough, or exercising like we should. It’s pretty likely that you’re lacking in one of these areas, if not all of them. In addition to giving you plenty of energy, adjusting your schedule and routine for a healthier lifestyle could make you a happier, more successful person.

If it’s something more than that, feel free to contact me to talk about it. I’d be happy to help you come up with a plan to make more time for dating, or with whatever else you need to make your love life your priority this year.

Are You Secretly Afraid of Dating?

Sometimes, my clients have deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy that stem from a variety of past hurts. These feelings keep them scared of putting themselves out there in the dating game. Sometimes, it’s a fear of commitment that keeps them doubtful about opening themselves up to finding love. Other times, it’s the very common fear of rejection that keeps them from going on more than a few dates with people. 

For those of you really worried about rejection, check out my article on “Why Did She Reject Me.”

As legitimate as all of these fears are, it’s worth it to work to get past them. If finding love is something that you want, don’t let fear stop you from going for it. The truth is that love is every bit as wonderful as they say, especially when you’ve worked hard to find the perfect partner for you.

So what’s holding you back? If you’re unsure as to why you’re not making time to date, you owe it to yourself to find out why. Contact me and we’ll figure out what’s really going on, and why you’re scared of going after what you want. Through one-on-one coaching, we’ll come up with a natural strategy for you to reach your short and long term dating goals and live the life you want.

A Word About the Fear of Rejection

There’s something important you need to hear if you are terrified of rejection. Rejection is horrifying for most people. That’s understandable. It’s also incredibly character-building, motivational and inspiring. Once you can get past the horrible part, that is.

Getting over the fear of rejection takes work, but it’s worth it. The thing is, it’s really hard to get over this fear when dating the old-fashioned way. With traditional dating, a man asks one woman out on a date at a time. If things go well, there will be a second date sometime within the next couple of weeks. In this kind of time-frame, things move so slowly. Both people involved are focusing all of their attention on making it work with the other one. Once rejection is forced to happen, for whatever reason, the moment has been built up way too much. Too much value has been placed on a relationship that would never have worked out. This only makes the feeling of rejection unnecessarily painful. She wasn’t right for you, after all–so why does it feel so awful?

It’s only natural then, that the man becomes a nervous wreck each time he asks a woman out, because he has no other options to fall back on should she say no. In the same vein, he is more likely to avoid having to reject her, even if he’s not sure about her as a partner.

This is why megadating is so beneficial for men. It requires asking out a lot of women, a lot of the time. In fact, when megadating, you’re certain to get rejected, and maybe often. But how sad are you going to feel about being rejected for a date with one person, when you’ve got three more dates with other beautiful and exciting women coming up later in the week?

Are You Afraid You’re Not Good Enough to Get the Women You Really Want?

Are you too busy for dating? Or is the problem really that you’re too scared to go after women you’re attracted to? Do you ever settle for someone you sort of like, only because you think you’re not good enough for the person you really want?

A lot of men shoot for lower targets because they think they’re easier to get. I know this is true, because my clients tell me this all the time. That’s why I teach them they should actually be going for women they feel are out of their league. Gorgeous, successful, intelligent women are approached less often, and want love more.

If this is what keeps you from saying no to the question “are you too busy for dating?”, let me know! You deserve to be with the girl of your dreams, and I am confident that it’s possible. Your happiness and well-being is what matters. As long as you’re willing to work hard and put in the time it takes to succeed, you will.

Are You Too Busy For Dating? Or is it Something Else?

So, are you too busy for dating? If you are, are you willing to commit to allowing more time to actively search for love this year? Or is something else keeping you from making the time–something we can work on overcoming together?

Remember, sitting around, passively waiting for love isn’t the answer. If you want anything that’s worth having in life, you need to get aggressive. Set a goal and work hard towards achieving it. And that definitely goes for love, too.

I want to help you channel your confidence and apply all that you’ve got towards success in love. Contact me today and we’ll get started laying down a customized, effective plan to turn the girl of your dreams into the girl on your arm.