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Dating Trend Roundup: Tinder Hookups, Selfie Love, and “Gatsbying”

Dating Trend Roundup: Tinder Hookups, Selfie Love, and “Gatsbying”

Hey guys, Tracy here, coming to you this week from the beautiful (rainy) Poconos Mountains in Pennsylvania. I’m currently wondering if my Air BnB is haunted or the product of an overly aggressive Alexa, but regardless, the show must go on.

This week, there was so much trending dating news, that I decided to choose three topics instead of one. Huzzah!

A brief overview of this article for you, dear readers:



  • Tinder is not going to be a guaranteed path to getting you laid.
  • Selfies are good for the mind, body and soul.
  • “Gatsbying” is a weird new dating trend that, sadly, does not involve flapper dresses or Leonardo DiCaprio.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

Swiping Hard on Tinder Won’t Get You a Hookup

Among all the dating apps that have entered the mainstream, Tinder has always been the one that seems to hold a reputation as the one most likely to lead to a hookup. However, recent research shows that just because you swipe right and match on Tinder doesn’t mean that you won’t get (proverbially) left-swiped when the time comes to decide whether or not you’re sharing or taking separate Ubers home.

A study published in Personality and Individual Differences has found that there’s really not much of a difference in success when it comes to casual sex between people using Tinder (as well as similar picture-based dating apps) and those who don’t.

Although many people who use Tinder tend to be more open to the idea of casual sex, said casual events don’t transpire for these people any more than they would for their non-Tinder using counterparts.

So, basically, if you’re looking to rack up booty calls via your Tinder account, you’re likely to be disappointed.

However, if you’re looking to find a long-term relationship, you don’t need to discard Tinder as an app that will only attract those seeking one night stands. In fact, in my opinion, Tinder’s reputation may actually work in your favor.

As a single woman and curious writer interested in learning about dating trends and garnering stories based on dating (hi, bad dates that I turned into blogs), I’ve noticed that there can be much to be gained from Tinder when you’re a man looking for a serious relationship.

For one, Tinder seems to attract more men looking for casual relationships than its female- and long-term-friendly counterpart apps, Bumble, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel. I know this because I’ve used all of these apps.

For some reason, Tinder tends to have the highest percentage of innuendo-laden bios, gratuitous photos of men pairing their shirtlessness with vacant, deadpan stares (are you trying to date me or murder me?), and suggestive, uncomfortable messages.

Be a nice, normal guy in your Tinder bios and pictures and you’ll be ahead of the pack. Trust me on this one.

Selfies Are Good for Online Dating and You’re Overall Health

I used to shy away from taking selfies because I felt like it made me look desperate and self-absorbed. Then, as selfies became more mainstream, I discovered good lighting and that a birdseye view really brings out my eyes, so I’m all about getting your selfie game on nowadays.



According to the dating website PlentyOfFish (here’s great POF Review), posting a selfie on your dating profile can really help you attract potential matches. People enjoy taking selfies because they’re fun and, according to POF Dating Expert, Shannon Smith, “…they’re fun and impulsive, and they’re important because they offer up a glimpse into how someone sees themselves.”  

Moreover, these solo, forward-facing photos can be good for your overall health and wellness. According to a study, people who posted one selfie a day practiced better self-care, were more conscious of their community, and tended to engage in healthy moments of nostalgia.

Ready to get your selfie game on? Here are my suggestions for taking a great selfie:

  • Hold your camera either at eye level or slightly above you. You don’t want to do a total birdseye view but taking a selfie a little above is way better than taking one from a bug’s eye view because it’s more flattering.
  • Make eye contact with the camera. Don’t close your eyes or look away.
  • Smile.
  • If applicable, take a selfie of you in front of something cool, like a scenic view during a nature hike or a rollercoaster at an amusement park you’re about to go on. These selfies are great for dating profiles and also as a message to someone you’ve currently started seeing.

I’m also a big fan of the close cousin to a selfie, the ussie. With ussies, all the same rules apply as with selfies, but you get to share your selfie game with a friend or a group. If you’re going to use an ussie in a dating profile, however, I suggest that you make it your third or fourth photo. The main photo should always be of just you, so girls or guys don’t feel like they’re trying to play a game of Where’s Waldo in order to discover what you actually look like.

“Gatsbying” is Apparently a Thing Now

Well, this is new. We’ve had a lot of dating trends rear their ugly heads as of late, including R-bombing, Cushioning, and the dreaded Orbiting.

Now we have Gatsbying, a new trend that got its name from the famed novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald and the film adaptation starring movie icon and my future ex-husband, Leonardo DiCaprio.

When I first saw that this was a trend, I was hoping that Gatsbying involved going out on dates with someone where one of you always wore a 1920s flapper dress and the other wore a full, three-piece suit. Both of you would each pair your glamorous outfits with a glass of champagne and be toasting no one in particular.

Sadly, that’s not what Gatsbying is at all.

Gatsbying is a new millennial dating trend that involves posting a photo, Snapchat/Instagram/Facebook story, or tweet that showcases you having an absolutely fabulous time that is worthy of all the FOMO this great world has to offer. But these posts aren’t simply meant to capture the best part of your Saturday. People that partake in Gatsbying have a specific intent.

They want to post a photo or video of themselves doing something awesome in hopes that their crush will see it and said photo/video will awaken a fire of desire in their crush.



Um, ok…

First, let me say this is the least upsetting dating trend I’ve heard of so far. No one is getting ghosted, plans aren’t inexplicably falling through, and no one seems to get hurt.

This dating trend isn’t necessarily bad so much as it is…silly.

I feel like engaging in Gatsbying is basically a modern, digitized way of throwing coins into a water fountain and wishing for your crush to notice you. If you want to do that, simply talk to him and her about the great time you had on Saturday. You can even be like “here, take a look at my photographed proof of this awesome event I was at,” if you really want to drive the point home.

Or, better yet, invite your crush to go with you and you can post ussies together and maybe make out at the end of the night or something. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, I’ve just been around the dating block more than a few times. It’s better to put yourself out there with a crush, even if you end up getting rejected than to pussyfoot around your attraction with things like Gatsbying.

That’s just my opinion.

Ok, well that is all I have for this week, friends. I think it’s time for me to dig out my flapper dress from that 1920s-themed party I went to seven years ago, take a selfie, and call it a night.

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