Should you disclose that you’re divorced on dating apps and sites?

The simple answer is this: YES. You should 100% disclose that you’re divorced and get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

If you’re new here, I’m Emyli, head coach and cofounder at emlovz.com. In 2012 I went on a 100 date experiment. Since then I’ve been helping divorced men and women find love fast with our coaching programs.

It’s important to note that trust and communication are two of the biggest things when it comes to building a good foundation in a relationship. If you don’t disclose that you’re divorced early on, then you’re starting out a relationship with dishonesty, or at least an omission of the truth.

Of course, I understand letting potential dates know you are divorced can be easier said than done. That’s why this article is here to walk you through the ways that you can go about disclosing your divorce on dating apps and sites. We’ll also review considerations you should keep in mind before venturing into the dating world post-divorce.

Should I Disclose That I’m Divorced on Dating Sites & Apps

Consideration: How Divorced Are You?

When you say that you’re divorced, do you mean that you have finalized your divorce or are you legally separated? It’s important to take inventory of your feelings when you are legally separated and shortly after the divorce becomes finalized.

Even if you were the person to initiate the divorce or have been wholly accepting that your marriage was not meant to last, it is normal to go through a grieving process. Make sure that you have taken time to heal following your divorce. Getting back in the dating world when you are still grieving will inevitably taint any relationships you begin to pursue.

Tips for Disclosing Your Divorce

Tip #1: Be Positive

This is one of the most important things to keep in mind when it comes time to disclose that you’re divorced on dating apps and sites. You don’t want to write a bio or tagline that’s bemoaning how difficult it is to put yourself back out there now that you’re divorced. No one wants to go out with someone who’s profile is a repository for all their negative thoughts.

Seeing a single person be negative in the dating app or site profile is going to be treated with a hard pass and swipe left.

Remember that there is a lot of competition in the online dating world. Women get inundated with messages each day, so they have the opportunity to be much more selective. They’re not going to waste any time on a guy with a profile that is unimpressive or negative.

Don’t present your divorce like this terrible chapter in your life, something to be ashamed of, or a failure. Remember that a whopping 40 to 50% of American marriages end in divorce. It’s not something that is uncommon or even considered taboo in this day and age.

When you disclose your divorce on dating apps, present it in a way that lets women know you have grown and learned from your divorce. Remember that going through a marriage and getting divorced gives you more insight on what to look for in a relationship. You are also now better equipped to know what to avoid and how to handle opposition.

Tip #2: Don’t Bash Your Ex

When you disclose your divorce, don’t bash your ex. Even if you hate your ex and they were some kind of emotionally abusive monster, don’t bring past drama and resentments into your new relationship.

To display anger toward your ex will overwhelm the starnger on the other side of the screen.

And, if you do this, you’re going to come off as someone who is not over their previous relationship. Singles will be wary of a man who seems to have lingering feelings for someone. No one wants to be with someone who is carrying around emotional baggage from a past relationship.

If you’re extremely angry with your ex, work to resolve that outside of the dating world. Consider seeing a professional counselor if a heartbreak is affecting your everyday life, enlist the support of trusted friends and practice self-care.

And when it comes to dating, show the person you’re with that you are emotionally available by keeping things positive and not dragging your ex through the mud.

Tip #3: If You Have Kids, Disclose That as Well

If you have children, you definitely want to let the person you’re dating know that from the start. There may be people who don’t want to date someone with a child. Others may not want children of their own and don’t want to deal with the potential role of being a stepparent. And it’s ok if these people choose to pass on an opportunity to date you.

But remember this — you don’t want to date those women anyway.

Disclosing that you’re divorced with kids weeds out anyone who wouldn’t be a fit for you. This way, you don’t have to waste your time meeting someone who is not going to be the right partner.

Being a good parent is extremely appealing to most people. In fact, a man who has proven he is a good father is downright sexy. If you don’t believe me, check out this Instagram account dedicated to hot dads in Disney World.

Don’t be shy about disclosing you’re a dad (or woman). Own it and be proud of it, and singles will respond positively to that.

Tip #4: How to Disclose You’re Divorced in Your Dating Bio

Some dating websites and apps allow you to select your marital status from a drop-down menu so it is publicly displayed. In these cases, selecting “Divorced” allows you to easily disclose this information to anyone who comes across your profile.

But other apps don’t give you this option, which leaves the disclosure completely up to you. It can seem awkward to just stick a line about divorce in your bio, but it can be done.

Here are a few examples of tag lines you could use to concisely disclose that you’re divorced:

• “I’ve learned a lot from my previous marriage and divorce, and I feel ready and confident to move forward with someone special.”
• “Previously married and armed with maturity, wit, and a mean sense of style. Ready to find Mrs./Mr. Right.”
• “Full disclosure: I’m divorced and have learned a lot from that experience. I’m excited for this next chapter of my life and can’t wait to share it with an amazing person.”
• “For the sake of transparency (honesty is the new black, amirite?), I’d like to let you know I’m divorced, happy and excited to meet someone special. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s delve into the serious issues: ranch or blue cheese?”

You don’t have to use these verbatim, but do you notice some of the keywords I used here? When disclosing your divorce, you want to demonstrate that the divorce is a chapter in your life that gave you the knowledge and experience you needed to become a better man. Presenting information about your divorce in this way makes you seem mature, committed and stable.

Tip #5: Disclosing Divorce in Online Messages

Do you feel super uncomfortable putting divorce in your bio? If so, at the very least, disclose your divorce before you go on a first date. Trust me, you want to be able to establish that the person you’re going out with is cool with you being divorced.

The anticipation of the first date with someone you met online is enough to elicit some nervousness. Why put even more pressure on yourself by failing to disclose that you’re divorced?

Find an appropriate time (don’t wait too long) when you’re messaging someone to let her know that you are divorced. You could say something like this:

“So, I just want to let you know upfront that I’m divorced. There’s no drama there and I’ve moved on from it, but I’m a big fan of honesty, so wanted to let you know.”

Don’t make a big thing out of it or go on and on about it. If they asks you questions, answer honestly but remember to keep things light and positive.

Best Dating Apps For Divorcees

Wondering which apps to log into?

Here are the top apps for divorcees.

Hinge

The app that’s designed to be deleted, Hinge gives you more search filters than just about any other app in your pocket. It appeals to those looking for a long-term relationship rather than a short-term fling. As such its users are generally older, more mature, and more used to dating divorced singles than those on, for example, Tinder.

Bumble

Bumble is feminist Tinder.

It looks and feels like Tinder but there are some exceptions. For one, when users graduate from Tinder and want something more serious, they move on to Bumble. Secondly, women message first, supposedly giving them more power in the early stage dynamics of online messaging.

The League

The League is often referred to as, elitist Tinder.

This is because you must apply to use the app. You may be waitlisted for weeks, months, or years (although it took us a few days). Users are typically in their late 20s and 30s, are highly ambitious, and professionally successful.

If you want to find a partner as driven and ambitious as yourself, this is the app for you.

Match

Match has the highest volume of users 35 and up than any app.

If you’re looking to date someone 35 or older this is one of the apps you should download. Match has the highest concentration of divorced users of maybe any app out there.

Dating Decoded

Dating Decoded

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample potential partners to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find a highly compatible partner in just weeks and become the most eligible single in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting singles online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive singles and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

Learn how our students have already improved their dating lives.