Matchmaker vs Dating Coach: Do I Need One or Both?
Dating is fun but it can also be a grind. Putting yourself out there on apps, crafting endless first messages, and checking your phone for notifications is exhausting. Like a lot of guys, you probably want a solution to speed up the process. But then, you have to ask: Do I need a dating coach? Do I need a matchmaker? When it comes to a matchmaker vs dating coach, which one is worth the investment?
Only you can answer this question. Matchmakers and dating coaches are different. They each have their specific advantages. Plus, lots of men combine matchmaking with coaching, which can really help crush your goals in one powerful punch.
Whatever you decide, just do it carefully. This is your hard-earned money and time you’re talking about. You won’t just need a steady stream of dates. Those women will need to be compatible with the real you — and in many cases, you’ll also need strategic advice and support to turn those dates into long-term prospects.
At emlovz, we provide all these services and more. But it’s important that you understand how it all works. So in this post, we’ll explore the reasons for hiring a dating coach, a matchmaker, or both.
Reasons to Hire a Dating Coach
When you work with a dating coach, you choose the women you go out with. But of course, the pool of women that’s available to you might be limited. Maybe you’re not interested in any of the women who you’ve met lately. That’s where a dating coach comes in.
A dating coach helps you develop the skills you need to attract the women you really want — much more quickly than you could alone. A coach will look at how you approach women, your dating profiles, the types of women you’re meeting, and how you interact on dates to give you 100% honest feedback on what’s not working and why. Not only that, but a coach will give you a better plan for finding the love you’re looking for. At that point, it’s up to you to go get it!
Here are a few other reasons why dating coaches work well for men:
Your skills may be rusty
If you’ve been out of the game for an extended period of time — let’s say in a long-term relationship or you were hyper-focused on career or school — then a coach can stop you from making rookie mistakes in today’s dating world.
Coaches are invested in your success
Your success feeds their business. Why wouldn’t a coach want to do everything they could to help you find an awesome woman? Coaches largely work on referrals, and so you can rest assured that you’ll be taken care of.
They’ve also “been there”
By that I mean, any successful coach will have a lot of dating experience under their belt. Personally, I conducted a 100-date experiment several years ago, where I went on dates with 52 men to not only to find love (spoiler alert: I did) but also analyze men’s dating approaches. I turned all of those valuable insights into my current business, where I teach men the secrets that help them avoid common mistakes.
You’ll get support when you need it
I won’t claim that every single date you go on after starting coaching will be a home run. It’s a process. That said, when you have a bad date or get frustrated, you may not want to turn to a friend. Maybe it’s too embarrassing. But a coach can give you that emotional support you need to keep going.
They’ll give you an objective POV
Why do women tend to perceive you in a certain way? Especially if your coach is a woman, you’ll get specific answers to this question. You can then change your approach instantly instead of trying out random ideas or even worse, doing the same thing over and over.
You could save money
In my coaching practice, I only recommend that my clients spend $10 on the first date and nothing on the second. People often balk at this — until they understand my philosophy and start implementing my three-date blueprint. Attracting a woman really comes down to building your skills at developing trust and rapport. When done correctly, it often leads to intimacy on date #3. With coaching, you don’t have to rely on expensive dates to impress women.
I offer private coaching with my 3-month Signature program. I also run a group coaching program called DateHack that’s always open to new members. Group coaching is great because you’ll meet other guys in your situation and get an accountability buddy. No more excuses! Just like exercise groups that have been proven to yield better results for their members, the guys in DateHack give each other feedback and inspire each other. Dating can be rough, but it’s not as bad when you’re sharing success stories with others.
Reasons to Hire a Matchmaker
Unlike a dating coach, a matchmaker pre-screens women and finds dates for you. You won’t have to go through the agony of hunting for prospects and can instead focus on making your dates as good as they can be.
Anyone who wants help finding dates can benefit from a matchmaker, but certain types of guys tend to fall into this category often. They are:
1. Guys who are simply way too busy to mine for dates themselves.
As I said at the top of this article, the dating process is a grind. Not only that, it takes time. That’s especially true if you’re not being particularly strategic about how you use the apps. You can definitely learn to be successful at prospecting, but like any other skill, it requires a time investment.
Depending on where you are in your life, this may not be realistic. If you’re working 10-hour days and barely have enough time to microwave dinner at night before falling into bed, only to wake up the next day and do it all over again, studying date theory probably isn’t at the top of your list. And that’s okay. That’s why matchmakers exist.
2. Guys who are very visible in their community.
You might be a lawyer, judge, politician, or another type of professional who simply can’t be seen on dating apps for various reasons. Perhaps sharing information about yourself on an app would risk your local reputation or contradict your brand image. Maybe your business relies on word-of-mouth referrals from your community, and you don’t want to threaten that. A matchmaker is the perfect solution.
Matchmakers usually can choose more quality dates than you could yourself. They have a personal network they can tap into. They also look deeply into the nuts and bolts of people’s personalities, picking up on details you wouldn’t notice about certain women who might be compatible with you.
Once you let a matchmaker know what you want, a matchmaker can usually deliver several options. After that, the ball is in your court. Question is, can you take it from there?
I offer matchmaking services and often find that the most successful clients are guys who can hit the ground running when I set them up on a quality date. They’re already charismatic and understand date theory. They also know how to structure the first three dates for success, and can artfully increase sexual tension with a woman throughout the first two dates so sex naturally occurs on date #3. Is this you?
Actually, before you hire a matchmaker, I’d say check your ego at the door and first answer this question:
If a matchmaker sets you up with your most ideal woman tomorrow, can you comfortably say you have the skills to get her on a second date and into a relationship in the next six weeks?
If you can’t say that, you’ll want to pair matchmaking with coaching.
Reasons to Hire a Matchmaker with a Coaching Program
When it comes to comparing a matchmaker vs dating coach, both have their advantages. But nothing really compares to using both together.
Using a matchmaker with dating coaching gives you the best of both worlds. You’ll skip over all the work you may not have time for anyway — scrolling through random profiles, making selections, writing messages — and get high-quality options delivered to you. On top of that, the coaching program will arm you with the skills and knowledge to turn those dates into serious prospects for you to choose from.
I’ll warn you now… it’s a powerful combination and could result in you having to make some tough decisions! But mainly, it will help ensure that you find great women as quickly as possible. You also won’t run the risk of losing out on a quality opportunity.
Another reason to combine matchmaking and coaching is that it keeps both parties accountable. Have you ever used a matchmaker and didn’t hear from them for six weeks? That’s actually not unusual. Once a matchmaker has provided you quality prospects, they’ve kept up their end of the bargain. They assume that you’re busy planning dates and enjoying getting to know the women they’ve selected for you. So why should they follow up before you’ve had time to do just that?
While they may be right, some men find that a bit off-putting. They may not like the “hands-off” feeling once the women are selected and prefer to keep in touch during the dating process. Not only do they want support, but they also want specific advice on interacting with the women selected for them. And of course, no one could give better tips than the matchmaker who set them up in the first place.
So, using matchmaking with coaching services often makes the most sense. I offer combined matchmaking and coaching for my clients and highly recommend it.
When you’re our matchmaking client at emlovz, you’ll be sent on 15 dates.
You’ll also get 12 coaching sessions (privately or in my group program) conducted once a week. That way, you’ll receive all the support you need to get the most out of your matchmaking opportunities. (Note: During our intro call, if you feel that bi-weekly or monthly check-ins are more suitable for you, we can scale it back to 4 or 8 sessions.) That’s our way of staying accountable to you.
Regular check-ins also keep you motivated and accountable as well. Regardless of what schedule you set up, if your matchmaker is also a dating coach, then you will meet with her regularly to diagnose your dates and go over strategies in each session. This is where you’ll do the work in order to grow. It’s also key to helping you lock down your success.
Our full-service dating solution will help you reach your goals in record time. Could you use dating apps on your own? Sure. But remember, apps are really set up to keep you scrolling and coming back. That’s the only way they make money. Instead, we’re like the Hinge of matchmaking — we’re designed to be deleted, not designed to keep you re-enrolling in our services!
Matchmaker vs Dating Coach: It’s Your Call
Hopefully, you now have a much better idea of what’s involved with a matchmaker vs dating coach. The answer to “do I need a matchmaker?” or “do I need a dating coach” is a little complex, and really depends on you. While dating coaches can help support you and develop your dating skills, matchmaking takes away the emotional labor of having to find good prospects. You’ll need to decide, based on where you are on your journey, what you need in order to move forward.
Obviously, combining both is ideal. I recommend booking an intro call with me to find out more about our services here at emlovz. From my private 1-on-1 coaching sessions to group programs and matchmaking services, you will find the dating support you need.
No matter what you decide, I hope that you take a step forward. Taking a random approach to dating often can waste precious time. And when it comes to love, it’s worth getting things right! Make the investment for yourself. I promise you won’t regret it.