Going dutch vs. footing the entire bill, ghosting or telling her to her face that she’s not right for you, Hinge vs. Tinder.
Choice abounds in the modern dating scene. To not make an ass of yourself, you must know how to match each context with the correct choice.
Going dutch makes sense after a few dates, but not on the first, second, or third. Ghosting can minimize awkwardness but doesn’t the person being snubbed deserve a proper explanation? Hinge is the app that’s designed to be deleted, while Tinder is the most swiped right on app in the United States.
There is no one size fits all option when it comes to dating. No one dating policy or dating app should be too heavily leaned on.
There are dozens of pressing dating issues, but perhaps none more so than dating applications.
New data released from Pew Research last week confirms just how common dating app usage is. 48% of Americans ages 18-29 have at one time used a dating app. For Americans ages 30-49 that number is 38%. But just because Americans are using these apps doesn’t mean we have a love affair with them.
Pew Research found that of Americans that have used a dating app in the past year, 45% of them were made to feel even more frustrated with their dating life because of these apps. 4 in 10 of all users reported that their overall dating app experience was in fact negative.
Part of America’s collective frustration with online dating comes from our inability to choose the right application.
Every app is designed for a specific type of user. Match for example targets singles ages 50 and over while Happn positions itself as the ideal app for those in their late 20s and early 30s. What we’ll take a look at today are two of the most disruptive dating applications in the game.
Hinge vs. Tinder
Hinge and Tinder are two very different dating apps.
Tinder, for example, was released in 2012 and quickly became known as a hookup app. Initially, it lived up to its reputation. In the early stages of its genesis, 90% of its users were college students ages 18-24. Most college students aren’t really interested in building lifelong romantic relationships. Academics is a priority, students have too little money for actual dates, and cheap beer and hormones are free-flowing.
College campuses are where you get your freak on not where you look for your future wife (not these days at least). But by 2014 its perception had drastically changed. Only 50% of its users were of collegiate age and other dating apps had helped curb dating app stigma. One of these apps was Hinge.
Hinge differs in its approach to online dating (or so it claims). The app is ostensibly “designed to be deleted.” Instead of giving a user free reign of who they choose to swipe right or left on, Hinge limits users to friends of FB friends (but more on that later). Hinge has been around for nearly as long as Tinder, but hasn’t been able to amass nearly as many users. Only after Pete Buttigieg let slip that he met his now-husband on the application did singles flock to Hinge.
So who exactly uses these apps?
Users
Tinder is the most popular dating in the United States with 7.86 million users in the US alone. Active Tinder users log in about 4 times a day and collectively swipe more than 1.6 billion times a day. Users are overwhelmingly young. 39% of its users are 18-24 while 41% are 25-34 years of age. And as to be expected men vastly outnumber female users, with estimates being as high as 9 men for every one woman on Tinder.
Yes, a crap ton of people use Tinder.
But swiping left and right and actually going out with a match are two different things. Studies show that while Tinder is the most popular dating app, it’s viewed more so as a game than as a tool to meeting fellow singles. A recent study found that only 50% of users have ever gone on a date with a match. This is because a majority of Tinder users don’t in fact use the app to meet fellow singles. Instead, they use it to boost their ego or as a game with no intention of ever meeting a match.
So how does this compare to Hinge?
As of late Oct 2018 Hinge had been downloaded 4.2 million times in the US. Thanks to former Mayor Pete, that number is now expected to be between 5-6 million. Reputable sources reporting Hinge’s gender breakdown are difficult to find but it’s a safe bet to say that at least 60% of its users are men.
While Hinge doesn’t like to make known data surrounding its gender breakdown and demographics, it does however offer a quantified insight into the quality of Hinge dates. In 2018 Hinge launched the feature, “We Met.” The feature is tasked with gathering information about Hinge dates.
After exchanging contact information via the app, Hinge will ask users if they went on a date and how likely they’d be to see their date again. During Beta trials, they found that 90% of users that went on first dates reported having excellent dates and that 72% said they’d like to go on yet another date.
How Tinder & Hinge Work
For naive daters yet to strike up an affair via Tinder or Hinge, let’s dig into how these apps actually work.
Tinder
Tinder’s interface is simple and superficial. It reduces each user to a set of playing cards. Each profile is comprised of up to 9 photos and is accompanied by an optional written biography. Users have the option of swiping left (rejection) or right to accept certain profiles. Only profiles of women of a certain age and proximity to you will be shown -you set the age and distance preferences.
Free Tinder users have about 50-100 free right swipes before their swipes dry up and are required to wait for 12 hours. If 100 swipes aren’t enough for you, consider upgrading your account to Tinder Plus.
A match is only made once both users have swiped right on one another. Once you match, you’ll be able to send that all-important Tinder first message.
Also, you’ll never be notified when you’ve been rejected -one of the many perks of using dating apps. Unlike Bumble, matches aren’t erased after a certain period of time.
Hinge
Hinge only allows free users 10 likes a day. In this way it plays into the whole idea of being a conscious dating app designed to find you the one ASAP. It also uses a handy romantic algorithm to pair you with users and an anti-ghosting feature to expedite the love-finding process.
Hinge’s interface is set up in such a way that to see more photos you must also scroll past written bio blurbs (aka, Hinge prompt responses), thus tempting users to read up on users rather than just salivate over their photos.
Hinge is one of the few dating apps that allow users to signal interest in various ways. Users can like a Hinge Answer, like an image, or comment on an answer.
In this way, Hinge is far less superficial than Tinder. Its users are generally slightly older and more serious about finding a partner than Tinder users. This may sound great, but again, Hinge has far fewer users than Tinder. If you live in a town or small city you may quickly run out of Hinge singles.
Which One’s Right For You?
That all depends on what you’re looking for. Are you a younger guy in search of a quick shag or are you tired with dating around and want to focus on building a serious relationship?
This isn’t to say that you can’t find a woman looking to settle down on Tinder, there are just more women with this romantic goal on Hinge. Tinder users that want more than a quick hookup are fairly easy to identify -usually because they’ll tell you what they’re looking for.
Female Tinder users have a habit of explicitly writing what they’re looking for, especially if their romantic goals are finding a significant partner. Generally speaking, women that pen lengthy bios are more interested in settling down than those with laconic bios.
If you want to find a girlfriend, download the “app designed to be deleted.” Hinge claims it wants to find you a girlfriend, but in truth, its interface does little to facilitate meaningful conversations or introduce you with compatible singles. Despite this, Hinge still registers more singles in search of ending their seemingly endless search for lasting love than most other dating apps.
Dating Strategy
Now that you know which app is right for you, it’s time to talk strategy. First, Tinder.
As we’ve already discussed, Tinder is dominated by dudes. In reality, all dating apps are virtual sausage fests, that’s just how it is. So what do you need to do to stand out?
Our own research shows that about 75% of men send “hey” or a variation as a first message. You want to stand out? -easy, don’t do what everyone else is doing. Your first message should be informed by her profile. Latch onto a commonality she lists in her profile and ask her about it. That’s what a quality first message looks like.
Should she mentions she’s a reader, simply ask what she’s currently reading or what she plans on reading next. If you glean that she’s a serial traveler ask her about her bucket list destinations. Making conversation with a stranger is easy when their profile briefs you on who they are.
See the screenshot below for a quality opening line and follow-up commonality question.
But even before a message can be sent there must be a match. Tinder is notorious for being the most shallow dating app on the market. Superficiality is baked into the app. There’s no way around it. But no worries, just assemble a dope roster of Tinder pics that’ll make any Tindrella swipe right. But how?
There are a few cardinal rules to keep in mind when selecting photos from your library. Here they are:
- No selfies. A selfie is the visual equivalent of “hey.” Selfies are easy to take, make you look like you have no friends, and are definition basic.
- Keep the shirt on. It just looks douchey. Shirtless photos, otherwise known as “thirst traps” are widely disliked by females.
- Don’t obscure your face. She’ll only go out with you if she knows what you look like.
- Group pics should never be your initial photo.
- Don’t wear the same clothes in multiple photos. Just wear a different shirt.
- Travel shots receive high grades, especially international ones. Don’t be afraid to flaunt your jetsetter lifestyle.
How does this strategy change when it comes to using Hinge?
The same rules apply when it comes to selecting your photos. The main difference comes down to messaging etiquette. Tinder users can afford to be a bit more direct. Should your directness not work out you’ll simply be ghosted -this isn’t the case for Hinge.
If your aggressive messaging tactic isn’t going over well, you might hear about it. Remember that Hinge connects you to friends of your FB friends. Should a friend of a friend be peeved out by your messages you might end up hearing about it. Edit, revise, and clean up naughty messages before sending them via Hinge.
This Is The Beginning
Hinge vs. Tinder… who won?
Now that you’ve got the winning app downloaded, it’s ready to create your profile, start messaging women, and ultimately going on dates IRL.
For the record, we recommend downloading both apps, in fact we recommend downloading five and swiping on each app for a few minutes every day. In this way you’re casting a broader net. While each app targets a specific type of user you can alter your profile in such a way that you’re only attracting the kind of woman you’re interested in.
It’s a lot to take in. But don’t worry, you don’t have to go it alone.
Dating Decoded
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?
We teach our clients the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
Our Team
- Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
- Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
- Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
- Darshil is a confidence coach, wingman, and all around great guy to have on your team. Once student, now a teacher he knows what you’re going through and how to get the most from your dating life
- Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
- Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
- Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
- Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online
Our Community
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.
Hear what’s going on in our clients’ dating lives.
