Where To Meet Women In Person & How To Pitch a First Date To Them
Wondering where to meet women in person? Struggling with online dating?
Did you know 39% of all new relationships begin online.
Despite the ostensible ease of online dating, most people dislike a matrix of 1s and 0s determining their love lives.
Singles both young and old miss the flirty ways of old.
They miss approaching a woman in a bar and chatting her up or getting set up via a mutual friend.
As online dating monopolizes our dating lives we’re beginning to over-rely on the ease of dating apps to find romantic partners.
This is bad.
It’s bad because in reality, only men in the top 10 percentile receive 58% of all matches.
And even those guys have to deal with the reality that only 50% of Tinder users have ever gone on a date with a match. That’s because dating apps are primarily used for non-dating purposes such as procrastination and boosting one’s self-confidence.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that online dating can be frustrating.
The massive frustration-fest that is reducing your entire being into a card in an endless deck of other romantic resumes is making people nostalgic for the old days.
But how do we get back to the old days?
How do you meet women in person?
It’s that question we’ll tackle in this article.
We’ll ditch the dating apps and help you get back to meeting women organically (IRL) again.
Where To Meet Women In Person
But before you can start meeting women in the real world you have to determine which type of women you want to meet.
Are you only into punk women or are you more into Lululemon wearing yoga yuppies?
Your type determines where you’ll go looking.
So take a second and ask yourself the following questions:
- Which qualities in past relationships did I enjoy the most?
- What does my ideal partner look like?
- What hobbies do I want to have in common with my future partner?
- How do I imagine my perfect relationship to look like?
Go so far as to write down the answers to these questions as you work towards building your perfect woman. Use the answers as a reference and a framework to help decide where to invest your time in meeting women.
Did you ask yourself these questions?
Now it’s time to get out there and meet your ideal partner.
Here are some of the best places to meet women (depending on the type you’re looking for).
Tap Your Social Circle
Your friends know exactly who you are.
They know your type, schedule, past relationships, and most importantly know exactly who to hook you up with.
Your friends should be your go-to source when trying to find a compatible partner.
But having your friends hook you up with someone is only as helpful as the size and willingness of your social circle.
Sometimes you have to take a more sinuous route to meet your one and only. That means making friends first.
Surround yourself with friends that have similar interests. Even if you meet 10 guys that love bouldering as much as you do, chances are they know women with similar interests. These women are in a sense pre-screened. If they’re friends with your friends chances are you’ll get along with them as well.
To really tap this social circle tell your friends you’re single and ready to date.
Explicitly ask them to set you up with a friend or acquaintance (just don’t ask them Michael Scott style).
And hey if you don’t want to explicitly ask, that’s fine too.
Naturally, as your social circle grows you’ll organically put yourself in a position to meet more and more women.
Where to Meet Women in Person: Meetups
For me, this is by far the best way to meet new women.
Imagine being surrounded by dozens of women that have your exact interests.
That’s what Meetup does for you.
Meetup is a social media platform that allows users to arrange in-person events.
To give you a glimpse of some of the groups you can join on Meetup here are just a few of the most popular NYC-based groups.
Some other popular groups include:
- Open Source Gallery
- Startup Hustle
- Silent Disco
- Taco Night!
- Cultural Events In English Or Spanish
- Books and the City
- New York Futsal
To be clear, Meetups are NOT designed to meet fellow singles.
They’re not romantic events, but rather are mostly platonic (however there are plenty of events that are explicitly for singles or speed dating).
But that’s fine.
Your job is to put yourself in a position where you’re surrounded by like-minded individuals.
Do that by thinking about your hobbies and which hobbies you’d like to potentially do with a partner.
Once you’ve found that hobby simply search for a group on Meetup. Chances are there will be a number of single women in that hiking, skiing, or volleyball group you just joined.
And hey even if there aren’t you’ll meet like-minded friends, expand your circle, and will soon be introduced to female friends of friends that share similar interests.
Sometimes you need to take a roundabout way to meet women.
What’s most important is that you surround yourself with compatible women.
You can also dig through Facebook Groups to find other social groups.
I recommend finding just one group and attending at least a few sessions. If you’re struggling to motivate why not invite a friend to join you?
If you aren’t in love with this new group and if there aren’t any women in it, move on to the next one. At the very least it’ll help refine your social skills and you’ll get to do something you love.
Not a bad consolation prize is it?
Event For A Social Cause
Are you passionate about something?
Wouldn’t it be awesome to meet someone as passionate about this cause as you are?
Maybe it’s a political rally, protest, or you’re just going to an event supporting local artists and businesses. Whatever the case, surrounding yourself with people who get fired up about the same things you do is always a good idea.
Co-Ed Sports League
The quickest and best way to bond with someone is to go through something with them.
Maybe that’s a difficult experience, a Tough Mudder, or a competition of some sort.
Bonding over a coffee is one thing, but bonding over a game-winning hit in the 9th inning is something altogether different and powerful.
So why not choose the latter?
Get that heart racing and pheromones secreting when you join a co-ed sports league.
There are most likely plenty of volleyball, kickball, soccer, tennis, softball, cornhole, etc. around you.
If you live in a major city check out Volo for co-ed leagues.
What’s so great about co-ed sports is that they’re really just an excuse to move around and meet new people.
Co-ed sports have a super open, relaxed vibe that is receptive to everyone regardless of how fast their fastball is.
Even if you’re not athletically inclined join a co-ed group like kickball or cornhole to get out of the house and meet new people.
Chances are you’ll make some friends and meet single women. If there aren’t any single women on your team, no worries, you’ll have a chance to bond with women on other teams during games or after while grabbing a post-volleyball beer or two.
Group Workout Class
Stop wondering where to meet women in person and hit up your gym.
Chances are your gym has weekly or daily group workout classes.
Yoga, cycling, and Zumba classes are all probably offered at your gym.
You just need to join a class and start chatting up fellow sweaty people.
What’s so great about these classes is that depending on the class you join it might just be full of women.
For example, the picture depicts a room full of women doing yoga.
If you join a yoga class you’ll no doubt be surrounded by healthy, beautiful women in spandex.
Doesn’t sound like a bad way to unwind.
But don’t let the views make you stagnant. Remember that your mission isn’t to find eye candy but to meet women IRL.
That means chatting them up before and after class.
If you don’t know what to say, start with the basics such as:
- Hey is this where yoga class is taking place?
- Have you taken a class with this teacher before, how did you like it?
- Wow, that class was wild, I’ve never done a Holy Moly position before.
- I never thought yoga would be so difficult, yet rewarding, is this your first class I don’t think I’ve seen you before?
It’s easy to chat with women if you have something in common.
This goes for any event you two attend whether it be a Meetup, PTA meeting, party, FB group meetup, co-ed sports league, etc.
If your gym doesn’t offer workout classes simply have a quick Google search for workout classes in your area. Generally speaking the more “feminine” the classes the higher volume of women attendees.
Talk about classes packed with women.
Dance classes are a great-freakin’ idea.
First off, most classes don’t require you to bring a female partner. If this is the case you’ll most likely trade partners thus exposing you to a variety of women.
I’d recommend taking a ballroom type of dance which requires you to dance with a partner.
Some styles include:
Chances are you’ll have your pick of a number of salsa classes in your area as it’s generally the most popular style of dance in the states.
Dancing is perhaps the most organic way to meet single women. Not only are you forced to interact but you two do so in an inherently sexy fashion.
Bodies close, hands touching lower back, spinning, twirling, and moving in unison. It’s simply sexy.
As you begin to make friends and pick up dancing why not ask one of your partners or a group of new friends to go dancing one night?
Even if you magically don’t make friends or meet single women you can always hit up a club on your own and impress single women with your dancing skills.
What’s so great about Latin dance culture is that it’s expected that men will ask women to dance. And just because you’re dancing with someone doesn’t mean it’s sexual. Hell, it may not even be considered odd to ask someone’s girlfriend to dance (just be respectful).
This is a great culture to get into as people are generally warm and willing to meet new people.
Talk about a warm, loving, receptive environment.
Meeting new people can be scary, especially if they’re single women.
The best places where to meet single women aren’t always obvious.
The obvious places would be a singles party or speed-dating. But that doesn’t make them the best.
Wouldn’t it be better to meet women that you already know have shared interests, are kind, passionate, and care about their community?
I know where these women are.
If you want to start volunteering check out a website like this one to find a group near you.
The good thing about volunteering (apart from helping those in need) is that volunteer groups are generally full of women. You’ll have no problem bonding with these single women over your shared desire to improve the world.
Not all parties are created equally.
For example, a gala event, corporate party, or event hosted by a bar or club are vastly different in milieu than a friend’s party or dinner party.
Because everyone you know at the house party is friends of friends or acquaintances. They’ll generally be more casual affairs where people are more receptive to meeting new people.
If you haven’t been to a house party recently why not tell your friends you’re thinking of hosting one.
You can tell them to invite a friend or two and that they’ll be music, food, etc.
Being the host is always a good idea and makes it super easy to mingle.
Plus if you host a party you’re guaranteed to receive an invite to the next dinner party, party, or social event one of your attendees has.
If you don’t want to throw a house party you can always be the catalyst and invite a bunch of friends to hit a bar. Tell them to each invite a female friend and have a good time.
Best Places To Meet Women Speed Dating
So far we’ve detailed how to meet women at places that aren’t explicitly romantic.
Now it’s time we had a look at the most explicitly “romantic” place on our list.
Speed dating is exactly what you think it is.
A place where you’re going to go on rapid 5-minutes or less dates with a bunch of strangers.
It gives you a chance to meet a host of women in a short period of time.
Generally speaking, speed dating works like this.
1) Men are required to move around and have brief dates with women.
2) Once a bell rings women will stay seated and men will move on to the next table.
3) Each attendee uses a scorecard to score their date.
4) If you and your date each give the other favorable marks the organizer will set you up on a second date at the event itself or will provide you with the other person’s personal information so you can contact them later on.
Oh, and of course, you’ll have a drink or two to wet your tongue and give you the courage needed to do away with any awkwardness dating a string of strangers may give you.
If speed dating is too on the nose for you, why not hit up a ladies night with a friend?
Browsing the bars with single ladies can be tedious. It’s loud, smells weird, is usually stickier than you’d like it to be, and the ratio probably leans male.
But that all changes on ladies night.
Wednesdays or Thursdays are when the bars treat ladies how they should be treated (kinda). Two-for-one specials abound, ladies enter free, and men follow.
Now, ladies nights aren’t for everyone.
If you don’t want to meet women at bars, then for sure this isn’t for you.
However, if you are going to take a chance and chat up some lovely strangers at a bar, ladies night is when you should do it.
If you’re interested in finding a younger woman who is ready to mingle, Thursday nights at a bar near you are a solid option. But I don’t advise going alone. Why not team up with a wingman or better yet, a wingwoman?
A platonic female friend will give you access to groups of women you otherwise may have never approached. It’s easier for a female to break the ice with another female than a man.
Let your female friend break the ice so that you don’t come off as a creep.
Nowadays meeting your partner in the workplace feels like a big no-no. There are HR hazards you can run into, there’s a risk being fired, or at the very least risk making her feel super uncomfortable.
Here’s the thing.
Meeting your partner at work used to be super common. Hell, even a 2017 study found that 15% of respondents met their romantic partner at work. Even the Obamas met while working at a Chicago law firm.
Sure there may be some hurdles you’ll have to jump over but meeting your new partner at work just makes sense.
I mean think about it.
You’re around your co-workers all the time.
You’re working on cool projects together, eating lunch together, bonding constantly – why shouldn’t you naturally develop feelings for a co-worker?
However, if you are going to date a co-worker there are some rules you should keep in mind.
Don’t Get Too Flirty Online
Chances are your company has access to all the messages you’ve sent via your email and other mediums of correspondence. That means if you’re getting all hot and heavy via email your boss can find each and every email.
Not only is it awkward but it may be evidence they can use to fire you for inappropriate behavior.
Start With Lunch
When asking out a co-worker never go 0-100. Should your date request backfire things could get awkward real fast.
So start with a platonic lunch. Ask her if she has any lunch plans and start to eat lunch with her on a regular basis. Ask her to hit up new restaurants in the area as you two make lunchtime your own.
This is a low-stakes way to build a connection and have some alone time.
Don’t Let Your Romance Impact Job Performance
I have no idea how Jim and Pam got any work done; oh wait, they didn’t.
You won’t be productive if your crush is always sitting five feet away from you. Be able to keep your eyes on the prize without letting your work suffer. If that means physically moving to another place to be away from her so you can concentrate do what needs to be done.
Ask Her Out If You’re 95% Sure She’ll Say Yes
Misreading the signs you think a woman from across the bar is sending is one thing. Misreading the signs from that woman in accounting is another. Only risk becoming a pariah if you’re near certain she’ll say yes.
When asking her out use a TDL and ensure her that even if she says no nothing will change between the two of you and you won’t be weird at work.
Also, be sure to check your company’s dating policy before asking her out.
This is a tricky situation, so tricky that Harvard Business Review decided to write about it.
If you’re religious there may be no better place to meet single compatible women than at a church group.
If your religion is near and dear to your heart it makes sense to surround yourself with like-minded individuals. Churches are teeming with events that are perfect to find fellow single believers.
The more you get involved in the church the greater your odds of finding someone with your values.
It’s difficult to find a religious partner nowadays (especially if you’re in a major city). That’s why you’ll instantly connect with fellow single churchgoers.
And hey if there aren’t any single women at your church, consider attending more events that will put you in contact with women from other churches. Join church groups and volunteer when possible to expand your social circle.
Tips To Approach Women
Now that we’ve covered where you should go to meet women, it’s time to talk about how to interact with them.
You didn’t think we’d tell you the best places to meet women without telling you how to chat them up did you?
As daunting as it sounds talking with women IRL is likely to have a much higher success rate than chatting them up online.
Think about it.
When you’re online, you’re one of the hundreds of men waiting to chat with this woman. Not only do you have to compete with other men but with all of life’s other distractions. It’s only too easy for her never to respond (or even match with you).
But in person, she can’t ignore you.
She’s forced to have a conversation with you (however brief) where she can quickly get an idea of who you are and why you’re so awesome.
But that doesn’t mean all IRL conversations work out.
Here are some tips to help you quickly build chemistry and get the girl.
Change Your Mindset
Too often when students of mine flirt in person they have this win-or-lose attitude.
It’s either they get the number or nothing.
This is a terrifying situation to put yourself in. With only two outcomes there’s too much pressure to perform. It’s this pressure that leads too many men to never even approach a woman.
That’s a loss.
If you approach her you’ve already won, because you were able to do something most men didn’t do.
The hard part is simply saying something.
Another mindset tip is to not go in with the goal of flirting. Instead, you’re simply there to have a conversation. Frame the potential interaction to be as low-stakes as possible. This will make you a better conversationalist and increase the odds of your actually opening your mouth.
Never Approach From Behind
You never want to approach another human from behind.
Something in the reptilian part of our brain absolutely hates when we’re approached from behind especially when the person doing the approaching is a stranger.
Before you talk to her make sure you make eye contact and approach from the front. You want to make sure she sees your approach from afar.
Get Someone To Introduce You
The initial interaction is terrifying. Breaking the ice can be super awkward -so let someone else do it for you.
If you have a mutual friend or gregarious companion allow them to go in first and introduce you to the group. This takes away all the awkwardness of having to dive in head first.
This is why it’s always a good idea to meet new people IRL with a friend by your side. No one likes going it alone so why not team up with a social friend?
When it comes to building relationships and influencing people listen to the age-old advice of Dale Carnegie.
“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”
Author of How To Win Friends And Influence People Carnegie has perfected the art of quickly building relationships.
His main pieces of advice are as follows:
- Listen 75% of the time
- Genuinely care
- Use their name
- Talk about things they care about
If I were to distill his teachings into one actionable piece of advice it would be ask questions about things they care about.
Get them talking about something they love and they’ll never shut up.
Ask questions until you find a commonality. Then ask follow-up questions and make it known that you have that interest in common. Riff on that and you are sure to have a killer conversation that may well end in getting a number.
Complement Anything But Her Looks
Too many guys approach with a crappy one-liner or tell her how gorgeous she is.
Don’t do that.
Instead focus on anything that isn’t her face, breasts, or perfectly proportioned hips to waist ratio.
“Wow I’m impressed by your beer choice, everyone here seems to be drinking IPAs except us.”
“Hey I’m Jeff, I just had to say I’m digging the Dave Matthews t-shirt”
“I just had to say that I appreciate you trying to get the party started. If you someone to destroy the dancefloor with I’m here for you.”
Be creative and remember that you win by just saying something.
Interact With The Group
Approaching her directly can feel a bit obvious. Only talking to her while all her friends stare at this strange guy who is clearly trying to flirt with their friend can be awkward.
So why not include the entire group?
If you only befriend the woman you’re persuading the group may feel animosity towards you because you’re stealing their friend away.
So instead of singling her out, integrate yourself into the entire group.
Once her friends approve of you, your chances of chatting her up and scoring a number increase exponentially.
Let’s imagine that you heeded all the previous steps.
1) Identified your ideal woman
2) Found the type of places your ideal woman could be found at
3) Approached her and started to get your flirt on
If the conversation is going well it’s time to ask for her number OR use a TDL.
TDL stands for time, date, and location.
Using a TDL is the only correct way to ask a woman out.
That’s because a TDL is a concrete date request.
You’re not just asking, hey wanna go out sometime?
Rather you’re defining what that sometime looks like, where it is, and what you’ll do.
Here’s an example of what a TDL looks like…
It’s been great talking to you and I’d love to see you again. How about this Sunday we can play mini golf at Tigre’s at 4.
Here we see the time (4), date (Sunday), and location (Tigre’s).
Spelling out your date gives her a concrete request she can either accept or reject.
This is a straightforward way to ask her out and move the relationship forward.
If you don’t feel comfortable asking her out there and then, get her number and text her the TDL a day later.
Now That You’ve Met Women Meet Your Coach
Interested in learning how we here at emlovz can help you?
We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.
To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.
- Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
- Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
- Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
- Darshil is a confidence coach, wingman, and all around great guy to have on your team. This one-time student, now teacher knows what you’re going through and how to get the most from your dating life
- Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
- Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
- Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
- Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online
And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.
Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.
If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.