Whether it comes to résumés or dating profiles, we all tend to embellish a little bit.

Sometimes the dating world can feel even more competitive than the professional one. So it’s no surprise that you created a profile replete with photos of you back in college when you still had a six-pack.

But what do you do when the tables are turned?

What are you to do when you’ve agreed to a date with this smokin’ lady from Bumble only to find her FB and realize that she didn’t look anything like her dating app photos?

This my friend is false advertising.

Before launching into a toxic male tirade about how all women are liars and Jezebels out to crush your heart — stop.

Lying is to be expected when it comes to online dating. An eHarmony study found that 53% of online daters have lied on their online dating profile. Yes, that percentage includes both women and men.

Whether you’re lying about your height, hobbies, or the fact that you went rock climbing in Utah just once, yet half your photos are you celebrating at the summit. We all fudge the truth to appear more attractive. Have a little understanding for the person that is trying to embellish their way to your heart… or at least a first date.

Though the question still stands, if she looks different in person, what do you do?

Tips When She Didn’t Look Anything Like Her Dating App Photos

Cancel And Don’t Reschedule

Checking a woman’s IG before going out with her is a great idea.

It allows you to learn more about who she is, her hobbies, her last vacation, and of course what she really looks like.

But as you were snooping around, you found that she posts a ton of photos of her ugly step-sister on her IG.

Oh wait, nope, that’s actually her.

If you’ve learned that she’s gained a few pounds or simply doesn’t look like the person she claims to be, you can always back out of the date. You agreed to go out with this person primarily based on their looks. Let’s not be naive here, you met her via an online dating app, all of which are superficial. Chances are the banter and mutual love of quarantine jigsaw puzzles weren’t enough in themselves to convince you to ask her out. Dating apps are inherently superficial. Acknowledge this, wash your soul of any moral quandaries, and move on to the next one.

If you’ve already agreed to a concrete TDL, cancel and don’t reschedule nor hint at rescheduling.

To get that latter point across, tell her “Hey Stacey, after thinking about it, I don’t think we’d be the right fit. I thought it would be better to text you now instead of wasting your time. Best, Steve.”

Another option would be, “Hey Becca, I don’t think I’m in the right space to date right now, I think I’m going to have to cancel, sorry if I have inconvenienced you in any way.”

Sure she’ll be taken aback, but considering you’re still a stone-cold stranger, her feelings won’t be hurt that badly.

You Find Out She’s Not Who She Says She Is… While On The Date

What if you didn’t do a little recon and comb through her IG?

What if you’re only learning as you sit down on a first date that she looks nothing like her dating app photos?

This situation requires quite a bit more tact than sending a bail-text from the comfort of your couch.

First and foremost, you can’t run. You can’t throw her napkin on the floor and run away while she’s bending down to pick it up. You’re not Flash.

You also can’t tell her you’re going to the bathroom and then slip out the back door. I mean, you can do all these things, but then you’ll end up being a huge douchebag and wind up hurting her feelings. You could counter with the thought that hey, she lied to me, is absconding really that much worse? Look I haven’t seen the disparity between the virtual Stacey and the IRL Stacey, so I have no idea how big of a lie she’s told you… but yes, I’d say running away from your date a minute after meeting her is a bigger dick move than fudging the truth on your profile.

So what can you do about it?

Two things.

One, get the most out of your date. She may have embellished her looks, but do you still find her attractive? Can you still enjoy this date with an open mind, if not, fine. You can still practice your dating skills and try to connect with her. Honing your skills will only serve to make you a more competent dater. Treat her with respect and try to form a positive connection.

Your second option is to condense the date as much as possible. If you know this nascent relationship has no future, get out as soon as respectfully possible. This means, not ordering a second course, asking her for ice cream afterward, or extending the pre-date plan in any way.

What you should always do to mitigate these situations is to plan a 1st date based on the MegaDating blueprint. Adhering to the MD blueprint means planning a first date that is no longer than 60 minutes and requires spending no more than $10. Before every first date, let your date know that you can only hang for an hour. This ensures that you’re not locking yourself into a 3-hr long date with someone that you knew you had no future with as soon as you sat down to your pan-grilled halibut.

Cancel, But Explain Why

Now, this is one I rarely advise my clients to do.

She didn’t look anything like her dating app photos and now you want to cancel. That’s perfectly reasonable. You may feel guilty and have the urge to tell her why.

Considering you two weren’t on the verge of matrimony, an explanation probably isn’t needed. It’s not like she’s 100% blindsided and won’t be able to ever swipe again because some dude from Hinge that she never met before flaked on a date. You’re not all that.

If you do feel like you owe her an explanation because you canceled last minute there are a couple of ways to go about it.

When canceling, offer to provide an explanation with the line, “If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer them.” If she does ask why, tell her the truth. Don’t say that you’re not into whales or that she’s not a perfect 10. There’s a way to be both honest and not destroy her ego.

Perhaps tell her that you feel as though her photos don’t align with those you found in IG. Tell her she’s still attractive, but that you’re not interested in getting to know people that embellish the truth. Your honesty saves everyone’s time.

Sure you and her save time, but if she takes your words to heart and changes her profile, you’ll also have saved the time of those poor chaps that she almost conned into a date as well.

Again, offering to explain why you don’t want to see her can lead to a messy conversation. It’s best to refrain from telling her how you really feel. Most likely it’ll do more harm than good.

Imagine She’s Now In Your Shoes

What if the tables were turned?

What if she was the one that found you unappealing and wanted to cancel?

Would you want her to give it to you straight, or swallow her words and have them dissolve in her stomach acid?

Perhaps she’s a serial liar that needs to know the truth. It may be harsh, but wouldn’t you want to have some sort of an explanation if you were in her position… right?

Or maybe after being rejected you want nothing more than to move on. Of course, your dating app photos don’t look exactly like you do, that’s just the game. If this is your mentality, consider not saying anything.

Take A Dating App Detox

42% of people that have used online dating have had negative overall experiences with the apps. Part of this reason may be that no one freakin’ looks like their photos. Or that 44% of users primarily use the app for a confidence boost and not to meet their true love. Look when only 50% of Tinder users have ever gone on a date with a match, I can understand why people dislike online dating.

If you’re one of the thousands of men that are fed up with online dating, take a break. Tinder, FB Dating, and Match aren’t going anywhere — neither are their users.

If you rely on digital dating apps because you’re too consumed with work to find yourself a date, no worries. I’ve got a solution.

How To Date Without Using Dating Apps

When you team up with emlovz we not only teach you how to date, but if you’re a good candidate, we offer matchmaking services too. Imagine being able to focus on your 9-5 without having to treat dating like a part-time job. When you enlist our services my team of recruiters and I will scour your web & more searching for women that align with the ideal partner profile you’ve created.

One we score you a date, we don’t leave you to fend for yourself.

Each of our matchmaking clients receives 12 private or group coaching sessions to help you reach your dating goals for good. We teach you how to attract a woman, build attraction, get a second date, and of course, how to build a meaningful relationship with a woman you’re attracted to.

Book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom session today so we build a strategy together and see if my coaching or matchmaking services could be right for you!