In 2018, just 23% of adult Americans had sex.
Yet this stat can be misguiding. Of course older people tend to have less sex and still make up a substantial amount of the population. 50% of Americans 65 or older reported having zero sex last year. But even when the dearth of elderly erections are accounted for this stat still has a story to tell.
Elderly folk abstaining from sex isn’t a storyline worthy of the front page of the Washington Post. A more worthy headline would be…
28% Of American Males Ages 18-30 Had No Sex In 2018
This hasn’t always been the case. In fact only recently have young men been left hanging flaccid. In 2008, a nominal 10% of men ages 18-30 had no sex. That number has just about tripled in 10 years. The same sexless trend can be seen in women as well. The difference being that 8% reported having no sex in 2008 followed by an increase to 18% in 2018. There is a 10% difference in the amount of men and women that had sex in America last year. This 10% translates to millions of American males that instead of having sex, decided to binge The Great British Bake Off instead.
But is this really the case? Are men actually opting out of sex in favor of an all night Netflix binge? Umm, yeah, kind of.
So Why Are Men Not Having Sex?
There is no easy answer to this question. I’ll throw out a few theories as to why sex is trending downwards in America, but even my conjectures might not adequately answer the question.
Bunking With Mom & Dad
In 2014, 35% of men between the ages of 18-34 were living with their parents. This living situation continues to be the most popular living arrangement. One can easily argue that the chances for having sex diminish when you don’t have a designated space for sex. It’s doubtful that parents will be receptive to their children having sex in the home even when they’re fully grown. Even if parents don’t mind their children bringing romantic partners over, children or their dates might be turned off by the arrangement.
If having sex in your parent’s house is the only option, kids will be discouraged from even investing the time into building a romantic relationship. 20-somethings are probably thinking that there’s little point in building a romantic relationship if sex is ultimately elusive. Also consider where relationships blossom. Sure initial dates happen outside the home, but once things heat up, more and more time will be spent in the home, watching movies, eating dinner together, and having sex. It’s difficult for a relationship to grow if lovers don’t have access to a place of privacy.
Money = Dateability
Young men aren’t participating in the economy like they used. There was a five percent drop off from 2000 to 2015 in the number of men between the ages of 20-24 that were unemployed. 86.1% of those ages 20-24 were employed in 2015. American males ages 25-54 have been gradually dropping out of the workforce as well. Women conversely have rapidly been joining the workforce. A 2018 study showed that 54% of unemployed Americans 18 and older didn’t have a consistent romantic partner compared to just 32% of employed Americans. It appears that there is causation between employment and sex.
Without money the 28% of men ages 18-30 that didn’t have sex last year are unlikely to ask a girl out. What 25-year-old working woman wants to continually not be lavished on dates?
Tech today seems to have its hands in everything, even our sex life. But with online applications like Tinder and Bumble being used by seemingly every single and cheating 20-year-old male in America, it might be surprising to hear that tech is kind of a cock-block.
Jeff Twenge, professor of psychology at San Diego State University and author if iGEn: Why Today’s Super Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy, thinks that tech has had a direct impact on the sex lives of the masses. To sum up his reasoning, he says that there are simply more things to do at home at 10 p.m. on any given night of the week. In the past this time slot would be designated for sex. Nowadays humans have plenty of entertainment streams, most related to technology. The younger generations have been rendered asexual through their access to technology.
Waiting To Get Married Later
We’ve all joked with our now married friends that once they tie the knot they’ll live sexless lives. But in reality this isn’t the case. Married people in their 30s have more sex than singles in their 30s. This isn’t because the institution of marriage has gotten sexier over the years. The reason for the uptick in sex has everything to do with accessibility. A man who is single or even in a non-cohabitating relationship doesn’t sleep in the same bed as a woman every night. A single man must constantly be on the lookout for a woman to have sex with. A connection must be cultivated, money spent, etc. A married man however co-habits with a woman that is already attracted to him.
Nowadays the median age that a man gets married is 29. Compare this to 1960 where the median age of men when they first got married was 23. As it stands, 25% of millennials will never get married. The main reasons for choosing not to marry are because millennials haven’t found the right person, aren’t financially stable enough, and/or are not ready to partner down. Whatever the case may be eschewing marriage is leading to a sex crisis not just here but all over the world.
How To Have More Sex
Even if you’re not a statistic, the proposals I’m about to make can still help you have more sex. The strategies I’m about to throw out there are all feasible. Of course you’d have more sex if you moved out of Mom’s basement but that may not be an achievable step right now. Each of the following are things you can do today to increase the amount of sex you have.
Schedule Your Orgasms
I did say that these were rules that could be applied starting immediately didn’t I? Before you scroll on down to the next recommendation hear me out. Our sex drive is linked to our testosterone level. Testosterone is that internal force that drives you to flirt with women. But if you’re masturbating everyday your testosterone level is constantly being beaten back. Studies show that refraining from ejaculation for 6-7 days can increase your testosterone level by as much as 45%. The results show that there is little testosterone increase after 2-5 days, however once that sixth day arrives, testosterone levels suddenly skyrocket.
Schedule your orgasms so that you’re setting your little guys free six days prior to a social event where you know you’ll have the opportunity to flirt with women. If no such event is on the horizon, just schedule your jerk-session so that you reach peak testosterone level on Friday.
Unplug From Technology
There are many ways to go about this. One is to understand how habits are formed and why tech in particular is so addicting. Here’s a cheat sheet that summarizes the takeaways from Charles Duhigg’s seminal book, The Power Of Habit.
If you’re not in the mood to apply psychological concepts to mitigate your tech-usage, I have another solution. Before you pick up your phone, laptop, or let Netflix suck you into watching yet another episode of The Office, ask yourself a question; why? Why am I watching this? Do I really need to open my phone again? Stopping yourself and reflecting as to why you’re behaving in such a manner will shift your focus onto more important matters.
The third way to break up with technology is to physically move away from it. This can be done by taking up a new hobby. Meetup is an application that connects people who share similar interests. All major cities have a robust Meetup community. Joining a few social groups will expand your social circle, improve your social abilities, and allow you to meet women that share your interests.
Not having a place to have sex or money for dates are issues that can’t be solved with the help of a couple self-help paragraphs. But I think the attention needs to be brought away from those concerns for the moment. Before we can think about seriously dating someone or having sex with them we need to find a woman that we connect with. This can be done through MegaDating.
MD is the act of dating prolifically. It entails dating various women at the same time. It sounds expensive, but it’s not. If adhering to MD rules, you’re not allowed to spend more than $10 on a first date. Each first date should also last no longer than one hour. A second date should be active and cost zero dollars. If you like a woman enough to see her for a third time you should expect to start spending. Using such a dating philosophy will get you in the habit of meeting women. No need to be troubled by the knowledge that you still live with Mom and Dad. If she’s willing to go on a third date with you she also might be willing to overlook such an unflattering detail.
Transitioning from a sexless life to one filled with bedroom bliss isn’t easy. Not having sex for an extended period of time can feel like a habit. If you need a little help getting out of your sexless rut, call upon the expert. Book a 1-on-1 New Client Skype appointment with your new professional wing-woman to instill you with the dating know-how you need in order to turn your sex life around.