how to make a woman want you sexually
Wondering how to make a woman want you sexually. You’re not alone. This is an ancient practice that dates back to when man first discovered that his penis could be used for something other than urination.
Since this fortuitous discovery, the world has been turned upside down. Ask Freud and he’ll tell you that every drive is motivated by one of two things: aggression or sex. Then again Freud was a glorified psychoanalyst that had a penchant for cocaine and one time convinced a fellow psychoanalyst to divorce his wife and marry a patient of his.
It’s this cracked-out man and his crew of psychoanalyst frat-bros that have turned sex into an obsession. Whether this obsession is justified by a biological drive or not, it’s evident that all men are rather fond of a romp in the sack. We’re not debating that the yearning for sex is pervasive in our culture, rather we’re addressing how to satisfy that urge.
Growing up, men and women are provided models for which they naturally copy. We use our parents, friends, movie stars, porn, and tabloids for our sexual education. But, like many young boys that have grown into men, these models have proven failures. Toxic masculinity, aggression, and ignorance are quite often to blame for the lack of sexual prowess in the modern man. Take this article as your crash course on how to make a woman want you sexually. In the span of a couple of thousand words, we’ll attempt to do the impossible and rewire your brain so as to precipitously turn you into a sexual maven.
Unless she simply wants to rub up against you until she sexually implodes, building an emotional connection is a sign on the road to seduction you can’t overlook. Without building an emotional connection, you’re just as one dimensional as your Tinder profile. Before building an emotional connection you’re just a flotsam of facts waiting to be pieced together and cared about.
Connecting emotionally makes caring about someone worthwhile. This is why so many movies we watch are wretched. To watch a movie from start to finish we need to care about the lives our fictional companions are living. We’ll only agree to suspend our disbelief and care about fictional stories if the characters on the screen are able to connect with us. Considering you’re not trying to destroy the one ring to rule them all, this should be easy.
Connect with her through her emotions, not her thoughts. That means discussing fears, hopes, dreams, music, friends, hobbies, etc. Avoid boring conversations about work. Instead, broach an emotive topic. Learn about each other, challenge each other, and ultimately you’ll care about one another. In fact, we’re programmed to care about one another. The trick is making her care more about you than the other dudes she maybe dating.
An example of vulnerability is telling her that a family member just died or that you sometimes feel inadequate at work. Perhaps you had a physical malady when you were a child that significantly shaped the course of your life. Good or bad it doesn’t really matter. Any vulnerable story you tell will make her reciprocate by voluntarily pulling a layer off of her emotional shield as well.
Dropping her pants and presenting her naked body to you is the most vulnerable she can be. But to get there you’ll first need to strip her naked of her emotional barriers as well.
Remember your teacher telling you to concentrate on the breath? To feel what it’s like to have that breath enter, spin around inside you and exit through the mouth. This same intense concentration you used to focus on the breath should now be focused on her. Of course, you still want to break eye contact occasionally and playfully feign disinterest, but beneath the charades you’re resting your intention on each syllable that leaves her mouth.
First and foremost listening to her needs means actually listening. When she speaks it’s because she wants you to hear her. This is a need to be respected and heard. When she says she’s thirsty, scared, happy, or doesn’t want to kiss in public, you need to listen. She’ll recognize that you’re engrossed in her every word. Your attention and respect will be noted, reciprocated, and thanked later on by way of sexual pleasure.
But remember that you’re not listening to her to get into her pants. Sex is just a blip within the context of a relationship. Your ears are cocked and perky because you want to form a genuine connection with another human being. Look, Americans have never felt more lonely. It’s time to buck that trend.
This was everybody’s third-grade teacher’s favorite instruction. It’s tough to get young children to listen. Eye contact was one way to ensure that kids were listening. Intuitively we know that our eyes are always looking at what attracts us most. If you’re looking at the TV behind her head, she’ll know that you have other priorities and will feel devalued.
That doesn’t mean you must refrain from blinking or looking away. Refusing to break eye contact is something serial killers and staring contest participants do. If you need a number to wrap your head around, think 80-20. 80% of the time your eyes are locked, the other 20% they’re free to roam. That being said, these percentages should be carried out naturally. You’ve been practicing how not to creep someone out by staring at them your entire life, you won’t abruptly become a weirdo now that you’re on a date.
One last note.
There’s eye contact and then there’s looking into someone’s eyes. At an emotional or climactic point of the date, really look into her eyes as though you’re looking past her skin and bones facade and really see her.
By staying close to her you’re challenging her comfort level and also proving yourself to her. By inching closer or sitting next to her without making her feel uncomfortable you’re effectively transcending barriers.
Though the closer you get to her the more you’ll have to be on your guard. If you’re escalating rather quickly and fear that you may scare her, keep you hands to yourself. Don’t retreat, though certainly don’t escalate things by touching her lower back, stealing a glance at her breasts, or touching her leg. Be on your best behavior and prove to her that she’s got nothing to fear.
The motto that you so gleefully left behind during your early teenage years isn’t left behind for women. Instead, it’s highlighted and written out in ALL CAPS. Safety, especially when with a man that isn’t well known is like the water that a nascent flower needs in order to grow. Without conjuring up a feeling of safety, it doesn’t matter how suave or witty you think you are, she won’t open up.
Show her that you’re not a threat by respecting her. Don’t think of her as a tool to be used to satisfy your sexual desire. Respect her words, needs, and wishes. Once she feels as though she isn’t being hunted, she herself will set up a few traps of her own.
Your actions and words will haunt you if your relationship is founded on lies. Don’t regret laying the wrong foundation. Keep it honest, no matter how embarrassing.
There are two sources of smell that must be checked before a date and monitored during. I’m referring to the mouth and the armpits. Before each and every date make sure you’ve showered and have brushed your teeth. Bring mints along for the date and if need be, wash your armpits during the date.
The latter piece of advice is radical but for some guys it’s necessary. Keep those smells in check during a date. If you’re thinking of covering up any BO with a bit of cologne, fine, just don’t overdo it. You don’t want your manufactured scent to be more powerful than the smell of the movie theater’s popcorn that you two are sharing.
Dress for the occasion. If you two are taking a jaunt for the woods, wear your hiking boots and a t-shirt, but if your date doesn’t consist of any activity that produces sweat, stay classy. Leather boots and ironed shirts are encouraged. As a general rule, dress to impress.
You don’t necessarily need to be the strongest guy around, we just appreciate that you’re in shape and can fantasize that if need be you’ll be able to protect us from danger. Don’t ask, it’s just a primal thing.
If you’re not the biggest dude, what else can you show off that makes you stand out? Do you dance, cook, or play an instrument? Work that into your romance if mutual sexual desire is what you crave.
Of course, you don’t want to appear more attractive at the detriment to personal safety, but you do in fact need to stand out. You need to communicate your worth. Sometimes this communication takes a grandiose tone. Whether it’s your choice of car, the type of drink you order, or your choice to display your ability to speak Italian, you’ll want to broadcast that you have something unique to offer, that other men don’t.
In addition to peacocking, make her feel valued by giving her the attention she desires. Don’t suffocate her with attention, but do keep her in your plans. Make sure you see her every week in order to keep feeding that flame of attraction.
How to make a woman want you sexually isn’t something we always pick up organically. Truth be told, this primer alone probably isn’t enough to turn you into a Don Juan.
To take the extra step, you may need to chat with a professional coach. To learn how to flirt, MegaDate, mine for dates, and find the right woman for you, book a 1-on-1 Skype session with yours truly. It’s through talking with a dating coach that you’ll reprogram how you interact with women. During our intro session we’ll create a dating strategy to help you move forward, and also see if my 3 month coaching program could be a fit for you.