Do you get nervous while on a date with a girl? Is the dating world something that inspires stress instead of curiosity? Wondering how to change your mindset while on a date with a woman you like?

Hi guys, Emyli here — your dating coach for men. Before my 100-date experiment, I didn’t realize how much fun could truly be had when you’re out in the dating world, looking for a long-term partner. I learned how to change my mindset and ditch the worries that can often come with dating. Guess what? You can too!

Below are 9 of my expert tips to help you learn how to change your mindset while on a date with a woman. Over time, these tips will help you become more confident so that enjoying yourself on a date (as opposed to worrying) will come naturally.

How to Change Your Mindset While On a Date

Tip #1: Get Curious About Her Kissing Style

The anticipation of a first kiss can inspire all types of anxiety. You may be worried about whether or not she’ll like your kissing style, if she’ll pull back, or if she won’t return the kiss once you’re lip-to-lip.

Instead of thinking, “I hope she doesn’t reject me when I go in for the kiss,” think “I wonder if she’s a good kisser.”

A first kiss is something that should titillate you — not stress you out.

Visualization is a big part of bringing goals to fruition. Before your date, visualize how you would like the kiss to go. Even fantasize about this. Feeling desire for the kiss as opposed to apprehension will ease anxiety and likely lead to a better result.

Also, when you are feeling desire and confidence about the kiss, she is likely to pick up on that and want you more. 

Tip #2: Replace the Worst-Case Scenario in Your Mind

Negative self-talk is often the culprit when it comes to sabotaging a date. When we spend time catastrophizing and speaking to ourselves in negative or critical ways, we end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy that leads us to situations that will invariably go awry.

To change your mindset, practice positive self-talk before and — if needed — during your date.

Instead of thinking something like, “I hope I don’t do something that makes her think I’m a total weirdo,” to “This date is going to go really well and I’m excited for the things I’ll gain from this experience.”

Positive self-talk is extremely important when it comes to dating and your overall health. According to the Mayo Clinic, this mental practice offers a bevy of benefits, including:

-Increased lifespan

-Stress reduction

-Better immunity

-Improved cardiovascular health

-Better coping skills

Tip #3: Find the Humor in Situations

If something embarrassing happens like you spilling a glass of wine during the date, try to laugh it off. Finding humor in situations is a great way to not only make you and her more comfortable, but it can actually make you come off as appealing.

Case in point, a friend told me about how one guy tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and instead of turning red, he turned his stumble into a dramatic bow. She thought it was so funny and charming that he turned a potentially mortifying scenario into a joke.

And laughter truly is one of the best natural medicines. Some of the benefits of laughter include:

-Improved immunity

-Better heart function

-Relaxation

Tip #4: Smile

If you want to shift your mindset for an upcoming date, consider turning your frown upside down.

Studies show that simply the act of smiling can increase confidence. And if it’s a fake smile, that’s ok! Even a fake smile can lead to less stress and improved confidence.

Smiling is also contagious, so she is likely to reciprocate by showing off her own pearly whites. By the way, here’s an article on how to make her laugh – which should help you crush this tip even more.

Tip #5: Practice Power Posing

What do Superman and Wonder Woman have in common, other than superpowers and cool outfits?

Both practice power posing.

Power posing involves taking a powerful, confident stance, such as a superhero pose (hands on hips, shoulders squared, feet wide), raising your arms up as if you’re crossing a finish line, and others you can check out here.

Changing your body language can also help to shift your dating mindset. You don’t have to do these poses IN FRONT of your date necessarily, but practicing them before the date or when you step out to a private area (like an empty bathroom or a bathroom stall) can help you get out of your head and into your body.

Tip #6: Use a TDL

What is a TDL?

Here at EmLovz, we use the term “TDL” to refer to planning a time, date and location for a date, and using that plan as a call-to-action when asking a woman out. Many of my clients hadn’t been using TDL when they first came to me for help, and not doing so had a serious impact on how often they got rejected.

So how does a TDL change your mindset? When you have a set, organized plan, this prevents you from getting nervous or flustered trying to figure things out as you go. It also shows a woman that you know how to take the initiative, which is extremely appealing.

Learn more about our TDL philosophy and how to effectively use a TDL to ask a girl out here.

Tip #7: Wear Something That Makes You Feel Sexy

Wear a cologne and outfit that you look and feel good in to give you an extra boost of confidence during the date.

When you put effort into your appearance and feel good about it, this can seriously change your mindset when dating. And being well put together is also something that will make more women respond positively to you.

Tip #8: Look at Mistakes as Opportunities for Growth

Let’s say something goes wrong during the date. And let’s say the date is downright mortifying. Guess what? THAT’S OK.

No one ever became successful at anything without a period of trial-and-error. Reframing failures as opportunities for growth can actually make you more innovative and successful in all areas of life.

Case(s) in point, a plethora of life-changing inventions were first considered mistakes.

How to Change Your Mindset While on a Date Tip #9: MegaDate

One of the best ways to change your entire dating mindset over time is by MegaDating. MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves dating several different people at the same time. Doing this lessens the stress and fear that comes with dating, keeps you from settling for the mediocre, and actually makes dating FUN.

By putting yourself out there and opening yourself up to interesting experiences with a variety of different people, you will increase your confidence and become more attractive to high-value women.

MegaDating keeps you OUT of the friend-zone and provides you with the lessons and tools you need to eventually meet a long-term, compatible partner.

Do you still need help with regards to changing your mindset while on a date? Or, are you looking for a dating coach to help speed up the rate at which you find your next long term relationship?

If yes, emlovz is here to help. Book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom session with me or one of my other coaches today!