“So Jess do you want to give me your number so we can make plans?”

“Do you want to take the conversation over to ichat?”

Either of the aforementioned lines should work.

Asking her on a date after receiving her number works to your advantage.

This is because she’s already accepted one of your requests. Having the prior request accepted will increase the odds she agrees to a second. This psychological tendency is called the Foot-In-The-Door theory and definitely a big part of deciphering the best way to ask a girl out and get a hell yes!

Ask Her Out As Soon As You Have Her Number

You two have already chatted it up.

Now it’s time to ask her out.

Do so within the first two messages you send.

The first message should look something like this:

“Hey Kim, it’s Dave. That cute tennis player from Bumble”

Remind her not only who you are, but joke around with her.

This will help set the tone for the conversation to come.

If she doesn’t immediately respond, great. You don’t want to get roped into a full-fledged conversation.

You’re texting her with a mission in mind.

After telling her who you are, it’s time to ask her out.

Always Use A TDL

As we’ve seen there are many ways to ask a woman out.

Favreau called his lady hours after meeting her and asked her to give him a call.

Napolean sent his crush a drawing with a request that she go with him to the prom.

If Napolean Dynamic were my client I would advise him to use a TDL.

TDL stands for time, date, location.

Let’s juxtapose using a TDL compared to how most men ask a woman out.

To do that let’s harken back to the first time you ever asked out a girl.

Chances are, it probably looked something like this:

“You’re really pretty, and would you want to go out with me… ever?”

As you know if you’ve ever seen Whiplash (or watched the entirety of the clip above) asking a woman out in the way worked for Andrew.

But let’s be serious, this is a movie.

For real-world women, you’ll have to use real-world strategies.

This brings us to the TDL.

Ya see, Andrew made an error that too many guys make.

He asked her if she’d like to go out with him in the undefined future.

Many women will accept this request not because they actually want to date this person but rather to avoid any awkward situations from arising (this is especially true when being asked out in person).

Chances are she’ll agree, numbers will be exchanged, messages will be sent, and sooner rather than later the conversation will fizzle out or she’ll ghost him.

To ask a woman out — and see that date come to fruition — you have to be explicit with your request.

This is what a high-quality TDL looks like:

“Hey Sam, kinda weird first date idea, but since we’re both runners why not run a 5k at Sandy Park during sunset this Thursday, then head over to Candy Crushed for a celebratory milkshake?”

BOOM.

Let’s break this down.

The time is at sunset, the date is Thursday, and the location/activity is at Sandy Park for a run.

The date’s been spelled out for her.

She can imagine the date, mark it down in her calendar, and plan for it.

This is a solid date request that she can give a firm yes or no to.

Another thing that works for this message is that the person that wrote it acknowledged that it’s a date.

There can be no confusion as to what you two are doing when you explicitly ask her on a date.

Make The Date Idea Badass

Coffee dates are old-school, static, and inevitably lead to coffee breath.

In other words, they are the antithesis of sexy.

Unless she’s a coffee-maven and you’re inviting her to some clandestine or pop-up coffee joint that she’s never heard of that sells superior beans, don’t ask her to get coffee on a first date.

Make your first date pitch sound like a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Make it sound like something she couldn’t possibly miss.

Or at the very least make it sound better than whatever other plans your date might be competing against.

Here are a few key things to keep in mind when pitching your date:

— Make sure it’s not out of the way. The further it is from her house the less likely it is she’ll say yes.

— Pitch a date activity you know she’ll like. If she’s a runner go for a joke, if she plays billiards ask her to play pool.

— The more enjoyable the date idea the more likely it is she’ll agree to it.

What’s most important is that you build a date idea around what she’s interested in.

Timing Is Everything

Imagine a bell curve for a moment.

The sweet spot at the crest of the wave is 2-3 days. It’s 2-3 days after the TDL that the date should be planned for.

If it’s too soon she’ll likely say no because she already has plans/there’s no time for sexual tension to build.

However, if you ask her out on Sunday for a date on Thursday chances are sexual tension will fizzle out or she’ll completely forget about the date and make other plans.

This is why if you were to ask her out on Monday you should expect to see her on Wednesday or Thursday.

What If She Says No?

If you’re MegaDating and going out with many women at the same time rejection is to be expected and embraced.

If she rejects your offer to go out, address her objections.

Perhaps she mentions the timing is off or that the location is too far away from her work. No worries, address her concerns by adjusting your TDL and ask her out again.

If she once again rejects you, wait a few days before asking her out on a completely different TDL.

The worst thing you can do is pester her by asking her out four times to the same date.

Don’t Message Her After TDL

After she accepts the TDL it’s time to wait.

I know it can be tempting to send her a million questions about her life before the date, but learning about someone before the date begins is like watching an in-depth trailer before watching the movie.

Or better yet, it’s like going online and reading all the spoilers before watching the movie.

It ruins the surprise, the novelty, the enjoyment, and the nuance of learning all there is about a person IRL.

There is no adequate substitute for sharing a pint, laughing, and making eye contact for just a second longer than you maybe should have.

So how do you keep the novelty of meeting someone, well, novel.

Well, it’s easy… kinda.

All you have to do is shut the hell up.

Keep those fingers away from the keyboard.

The only time you’re allowed to text her is either the day of or the day prior to the date solely to confirm that you two are still seeing each other.

That’s it.

Best Way To Ask A Woman Out You Met In-Person

All the prior advice applies to this section.

However, there are a few things we should add.

Get A Sense If She’s Into You Or Not

Obviously.

You wouldn’t raid an enemy’s base without doing a bit of recon prior would you?

In this sense, love is exactly like war.

Before making your move you should know how the other person will respond.

This rule applies such much more to IRL peeps than Tinder peeps because the person you met IRL is probably in some way attached to a community you’re already a part of.

She’s a co-worker, friend of a friend, lives in your apartment building, is a fellow gym rat, plays on your co-ed softball team, etc.

Getting rejected by someone you still need to see everything would suck.

Be 90% sure she’s into you before asking her out.

When you pop the question, perhaps add that you 100% understand if she’s not into it and assures her this won’t mess up your current dynamic.

Choose The Ideal Moment

Chances are if you met this person IRL you’ll ask them out in-person too.

If that’s the case you’ll have to choose the right setting.

Find a place and moment that satisfies the following:

— Be sober (or relatively sober) 

— Ask her out where it’s private-ish and quiet

— Make sure you can get away from her after asking her out (i.e. not before work or at the beginning of a party)

Practice, Practice, Practice

Again, if you’re asking her out in person you’ll want to practice your pitch to make sure it goes smoothly. 

Do the opposite of what Andrew did.

Practice in a mirror, use a TDL, and imagine yourself asking her out.

Should she reject your request but say that she isn’t available that day either quickly change the day or simply ask her for her number. Constantly altering the TDL in person so she’ll say yes is super unattractive.

She’s most likely telling you she’s busy because she doesn’t want to go out with you.

Instead of putting her (and you) in that position just ask for her number and get out of there.

Also asking for a number and getting an IG or FB is as good as a no.