Day: February 12, 2024

8 Best Alternatives To Matchmaking Services That’ll Save You Thousands

Matchmaking is what Becky, your best friend in 7^th grade, tried to do with every single kid she knew, so basically the entire class. The issue she ran into is that in 7^th grade, there are a finite number of potential matches. Luckily for Becky, she identified the problem early and found a new career path, eventually becoming the enigmatic “Becky with the good hair.”

However, the other Beckies of the world are still grappling with the same problem little Becky dealt with in the 7^th grade.

Matchmakers are great in theory. Clients get to sit back and go about their lives as matchmakers comb the earth in search of their client’s soul mate.

The issue here is that matchmakers are only as valuable as the depth of their database.

The more singles to choose from, the better the odds of finding you a forever partner.

Despite this many still are asking for $150k a year.

So, if a matchmaker isn’t right for you, what are the alternatives to matchmaking services?

1. Hire a Dating Coach – $3-6k for 3 months

A matchmaker is one-dimensional.

Their job is to put you in touch with potential suitors already within their dating network.

Dating coaches on the other hand will teach you how to fish and allow you to do so in any dating pool you deem fit.

A dating coach (such as yours truly) will equip you with the dating skills you need to get out there and find a partner of your own. The effects of hiring a dating coach won’t wear off when the membership ends as it would with a matchmaker. Rather you’ll learn skills that you can apply for the rest of your life. In fact, at emlovz, even after you’ve found a partner, you won’t be booted out of our community. We offer every student a lifetime membership regardless of if their relationship status changes.

We’ll equip you with the skills you need to quickly and efficiently find your perfect partner. We teach single men and women how to do this via MegaDating. You’ll learn the skills you need to find a partner by binging our content, meeting with our team of coaches, attending our live coaching sessions, and going on mock dates.

Here are just some of the emlovz coaches you’ll team up with along the way:

Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets

When that’s all said and done you’ll need to MegaDate to quickly and efficiently find a partner. MegaDating is simply prolific dating. It involves you going on 20 dates in 90 days. It’s not about dating for the hell of it, but rather is a proactive and systematic approach to quickly finding a super compatible partner.

But before jumping in the bed with a coach you should check out their masterclass to get a better overview of what they offer (Men’s Masterclass, Women’s Masterclass). Also, be sure to read up on their reviews.

And remember that dating can be a tiresome and lonely process.

That’s why finding a supportive community that understands what you’re going through is so damn important. At emlovz we have communities for male and female singles that are full of supportive and empathetic students.

2. Speed Dating – $25-50 per event

Hold up for a second.

Before scrolling down, just admit that as lame and depressing as speed dating sounds, you’ve always thought about doing it.

If you dissect what speed dating is, it’s actually freaking perfect. All it is, is a bunch of certified single people that are forced to talk to each other to see if they’ll be a good match for each other.

That’s freaking brilliant. It’s the romantic equivalent of a bunch of unemployed people and a bunch of companies that are hiring briefly interviewing each other to see if the other is a good fit. There’s no second-guessing if the other person is single or waiting for someone. They’re literally at a singles speed dating event.

Speed dating is great in that it exposes you to piles of singles in a short period of time. But exposure to singles won’t help you get a partner if you don’t know how to flirt… that’s where a dating coach can help.

3. Hit The Bars – $40-80+ per outing

How many standup comedians have spoken of the ills of finding your next romance at a bar? Sure it’s cliché by now, but there is some truth to it. While it is an alternative to matchmaking services it certainly isn’t the most effective option.

If you go out three times a week spending just $40 every evening, at the end of a three-month period, you would have ended up spending $1,440. This money might be worth it if you were guaranteed to meet singles, as speed dating does, but when it comes to snooping around a bar there is no such guarantee. Not to mention the cost of transportation and the many bottles of Advil you’ll purchase to alleviate your many hangovers.

In our program, Dating Decoded, we actually discourage our students from going to bars. If you go to a bar you’re much more likely to get a hangover or a DUI than you are a lifetime partner.

4. Bounce Around Meetups – $0ish per Meetup

I cannot sing the praises of Meetup enough.

Meetup.com is a website that brings together people who share the same hobbies. Let’s say you’re into rock climbing –there’s a group for that. Or maybe you’re trying to learn Italian –there’s a group for that too. No matter your passion, there’s a Meetup group full of fanatics who are just as jazzed about live Jazz music as you are.

Studies show that opposites don’t in fact attract. It’s a lovely sentiment that Disney movies love to peddle, but it’s just not true. The truth is that we want someone who shares many of the same interests as we do. Wouldn’t you want your girlfriend to also be a huge fan of landscape painting? FYI, Meetup.com has not sponsored this post in any way. I’m so vehement about the efficacy of meeting your next girlfriend at a meetup because it’s just such a brilliant idea.

Even if you’re not attracted to any females in your first couple of Meetup groups, it’s never a bad idea to expand your social circle. The more friends you have, the more dating-related connections you’ll be able to make.

5. Join Multiple Gyms & Independent Workout Classes – $200-1,000/ 3 months

As a fit person looking for someone just as into fitness as you are, this is by far the best place to meet someone.

Not only does everyone at the gym share a love for getting fit, but most are also freaking gorgeous.

If you’re a gym rat that’s literally the perfect place to find a partner. If you think that hitting on someone at the gym is considered presumptuous, consider that people are more easily aroused when their hearts are beating rapidly. Sure you might be breaking an unspoken rule, but you’ll also be flirting with someone who’s already primed and ready to go. Just try not checking out their assets while chatting.

Joining a gym and enrolling in multiple independent workout classes is a great way to meet people. Perhaps your gym already offers fitness classes at no cost extra e.g. yoga, core, salsa, etc. This is the best place to meet people. Not only will you at times be required to work in groups, but after the class is over you’ve got an easy conversation starter, “Wow, Samantha really got us going today.” Boom, easy.

As far as independent classes are concerned I’d recommend trying out Bootcamp, Soul Cycle, Rumble, or ClassPass. Classes that encourage interaction and teamwork are always best.

6. Alternatives To Matchmaking Services, Meet New Friends – $?

Making friends has become a hard science ever since you graduated from college.

Since the age of 6 you were surrounded by kids your age for hours on end, every single day. But since you’ve entered the real world, making friends just isn’t as organic as it used to be.

That being said, saying yes to every social engagement will ensure that your friend circle gets expanded. Letting both old and new friends know that you’re single will gradually open the door to them introducing you to their single friends. The boon of being introduced to friends of friends is that they’re pre-screened, are already in your friend group, and are people that you’ll probably get along with.

Even if you don’t earn a girlfriend from becoming Mr. Social, you’ll still make meaningful platonic relationships. That counts for something nowadays.

We at emlovz welcome all new members into our community. Every student has an accountability buddy, attends weekly group coaching sessions and training sessions, and has access to our active online community where students go to talk wins, losses, advice, and commiserate with one another. We have students all over the nation that also meet up in person to forge friendships and meet singles in the wild.

7. Just Talk To People – $0

Don’t be that weird person that gives an overly cheery “hello there!” to every passerby.

That’s not what I’m advocating.

You should have the goal of striking up two conversations with new people or acquaintances every day.

Think will expand your social circle and make you a conversational maven.

Take a genuine interest in the lives of those around you and you’ll be rewarded. Talk with strangers on the subway, while at the café, joke with the bartender, ask for advice from someone at the gym, and even post a few more photos on social media. The simplest alternative to matchmaking services is just being more social.

8. Dating Applications – $0-300/ 3 months

Let us for a moment compare the dating database of a matchmaker to the combined dating pool of Tinder, Bumble, The League, and Hinge.

While a matchmaker might have, at best, a couple of thousand singles in her database, the combined firepower of five or so dating applications has millions of singles to choose from. That’s a dating pool that any single swimmer will never be able to find the true depth of.

Hiring a matchmaker sounds like an awesome choice. But after listening to the stories my students have told me, I can no longer endorse their fairytale magic. The results just aren’t there.

If you hire a matchmaker, ask to interview their 3 most recent clients, vet them online, and check to see if you’re entitled to a refund if they don’t set you up with a certain number of dates.

Matchmaking is old school. If you want to learn the keys to dating & adapt to the current dating landscape, hire a dating coach. In just a three-month period we can build you a tailor-made 360-degree dating strategy designed to find you a compatible partner.

Check out our men’s program here and our women’s program here. Each addresses the unique obstacles both sexes face when searching for their perfect partner.

If you want to learn what our students are saying about us, check out their reviews here.

8 Rules to Follow When Dating a Coworker

Each job comes equipped with a handbook full of guidelines and rules, but what are the rules to follow when dating a coworker?

According to research, the average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime. With all that time at the office, you would hope that at least SOME of those grueling hours could be punctuated by some fun. Hence, workplace romances are anything but uncommon. In fact, an estimated 62% of employees have admitted to dating a coworker.

Depending on where you work, there are guidelines in place regarding office romances. For the most part, it is perfectly acceptable to date a coworker as long as that person is not also considered your boss or subordinate.

If you are currently dating a coworker — or considering dating a coworker — there are a few rules to keep in mind, eight rules to be exact.

Tips for Dating a Coworker #1: Avoid Romancing the Following Coworkers AT ALL COSTS

Ah, forbidden fruit — how sweet it is! Dating a coworker can seem like a fun — albeit naughty — way to spice things up in and out of your office.

But depending on what type of coworker you’re dating, an office romance can be anything but fun and games.

Before we get into the dos and don’ts of dating a coworker, let’s look at the following types of coworkers you should avoid romancing AT ALL COSTS.

The taken coworker:

If a coworker is married or in a serious relationship, the best time to date them is…

NEVER.

It doesn’t matter if you and the taken woman in question just want a fling or are stellar sleuths.

Just…don’t…do it.

For one, it’s morally wrong. Think about how you would feel if you found out your significant other was sneaking around behind your back. And, as with many secrets, things have a way of coming out. The last thing you want is to be caught in the middle of someone else’s relationship drama.

No matter how strong the attraction is between you two, decline any advances and steer clear. If you two are meant to date, allow that to happen when the coworker in question is unattached.

Your superior OR subordinate:

As noted before, most jobs have strict rules against dating your boss or employee. Even if your job doesn’t have such a policy, it’s still best to steer clear of getting involved in these types of situations. Even if your intentions are pure (i.e., you aren’t seeking a raise or promotion in return for intimacy), the power imbalance can automatically cause friction between you two, as well as jealousy or resentment from other colleagues.

If for some reason the stars align in such a way that you two think you may be soulmates, make an appointment to meet with your human resources manager.

Together, explain that you would both like to begin a consensual romantic relationship, and you want to be sure that no ethical lines are crossed in the workplace. This keeps you, your coworker, and your company out of hot water.

The office gossip/oversharer:

Later in this article, I will go into further detail on why discretion is the name of the game when it comes to dating coworkers.

When it comes to being discreet, however, no one can blow the lid off a covert dating operation like the office gossip or an oversharer. You certainly don’t want to walk into a situation like this one while grabbing coffee from the break room.

Tips for Dating a Coworker #2: Understand What Type of Relationship You Want

Unlike other relationships where you can allow things to develop organically, it’s important for you and your coworker to establish how serious of a relationship you want this to be.

Are you hoping that the relationship will be serious, casual, or are you looking for a one-time fling?

This level of transparency may feel unnatural and awkward, but it will save you both a lot of awkwardness — and potentially hurt feelings — in the long run.

Be honest about your deal breakers and come up with an exit strategy should the relationship not work out. If things go south and neither of you has plans to quit your job or change departments, discuss how you two can comfortably interact should the relationship end.

Tip #3: Keep the News to Yourself

It’s natural to want to share the news of a budding relationship with friends and coworkers — particularly during the honeymoon phase of a relationship when everything seems too perfect for words.

As much as you may want to shout news of your newfound love from the top of a mountain — don’t.

You can certainly share the news with friends and family outside of your professional circle, but as far as colleagues go, stay mum as long as you can. Intuitive coworkers may already suspect that something is going on, but there’s no need to make a speedy announcement.

Sharing the news too quickly could cause jealousy and resentment among your other colleagues. Or, some colleagues may begin to ask questions that neither of you are prepared to answer since haven’t been dating that long.

On the plus side, keeping your relationship a secret (at least in the beginning) can actually stoke the excitement and fun.

That being said, you may need to tell HR the moment you two make things official.

Tip #4: Don’t Flirt via the Company’s Chat or Email Servers

Chances are you have your own personal cell phone and email address that isn’t connected to your work, yes?

Use those.

Sending a “thanks for last night ;)” message to your coworker may be tempting, but think about the ramifications if another colleague saw that message. Even worse, what if you accidentally sent that message to a different coworker, or even your boss?

If you’re communicating via a professional communication channel such as a work email of Slack your superiors will be able to read your messages. This could lead to an awkward dynamic or unwanted conversation about office romances.

Plus messaging and email slip-ups can happen (i.e., the “Reply All” button can be quite a heel), so it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Do yourself and your new love a favor — keep personal messages to your personal accounts.

Tip #5: Don’t Let Your New Relationship Affect Your Job Performance

Stay professional at the office. Don’t let your work suffer because you’re in a relationship.

Relationships can be extremely consuming, and when you face romance head-on the minute you walk in the office, attention to things like meeting agendas, deadlines and the like can dwindle.

Keep things professional at the office at all times and resist the urge to communicate differently with your coworker than you would otherwise until you are both off the clock.

Tip #6: Make Room for “Me Time”

There is a strong correlation between proximity and relationships. Spending a majority of your day with someone and sharing passions for the same vocation can naturally cause things to be taken to a romantic level.

But when you enter a relationship, the closeness that initially brought you two together could threaten to tear you apart.

When you’re first dating, it’s normal to want to spend every waking (and sleeping) moment together. But when your previous 9-5 schedule together turns into nearly 24 hours together, things can become claustrophobic.

Try to spend at least a few nights away from your new love interest. Taking time for yourself will keep both of you from feeling suffocated or overwhelmed.

Spending time away from someone you’re dating is also a great way to keep friendships in check.

We all have those friends who enter a new romance, and — POOF — no search team in the world can find them.

Don’t be that friend.

Tips for Dating Your Coworker #7: Don’t Hook Up at the Office

This one may seem more obvious than it actually is. A surprising number of professionals have admitted to partaking in the most unprofessional act (yes, sex) at their office.

According to a survey from Business Insider, more than half of the people surveyed who admitted to having sex with a colleague also admitted to getting horizontal at the office!

I don’t care how tempting it may be or what sort of covert hookup operation you can come with — never, EVER hook up at the office.

Even if you’re convinced you won’t get caught, why risk it? Remember, nothing kills the mood like a pink slip.

Tips for Dating Your Coworker #8: Take Things Slow

Going peddle to the metal in an office romance could backfire.

It’s natural that you two will start as coworkers, the move to friends, then romantic interests, then dating, then BF-GF.

No need to skip steps here. You see this person every day. You’ll have plenty of chances to talk, flirt, and build a solid relationship without ever leaving the office.

The worst thing you can do is skip a step by asking her out after a week, or asking her to be your girlfriend after only a date or two. Doing so could backfire and create a super awkward work environment. This is why office romances are often discouraged.

So take things slow, build your foundation, and then go from there.

Need Help Getting Down to Business?

Let’s face it, there were no lessons in school or on the playground that left us equipped to navigate the tricky, confusing world of modern dating. And when you throw workplace dynamics into the mix, things get even more complicated.

Do you need advice and a strategy to help you with your budding office romance? We’re here to help.

Dating Decoded

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.

To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

Learn how our students have already improved their dating lives.

Login