Matchmaking is what Becky, your best friend in 7th grade, tried to do with every single kid she knew, so basically the entire class. The issue she ran into is that in 7th grade there are a finite number of potential matches. Luckily for Becky, she identified the problem early and found a new career path, eventually becoming the enigmatic “Becky with the good hair.” However, the other Beckies of the world are still grappling with the same problem little Becky dealt with in the 7th grade.
Matchmakers are great in theory. Clients get to sit back and go about their lives as matchmakers comb the earth in search of their client’s soul mate. Though there are a few issues here. As Becky has already illustrated, the number of fish in a matchmaker’s dating pool are scarce. You see, matchmakers aren’t your dating proxy, hitting the bars and swiping in your stead. Rather, they’re scrolling through their own database, exclusively comprised of clients, only attempting to match you with another client. Sound kind of lame doesn’t it? But wait, there’s more!
What if I told you that for the nominal fee of $150k a year, you can retain the services of a matchmaker? Could I persuade you to sign up if I told you that they have absolutely zero incentive to find you a match? What about if I informed you that I’ve had a myriad of clients tell me that matchmakers failed on their promise to not only find them love but to even reach their date quota?
Matchmakers are for rich men in search of gold diggers that are too socially awkward to find themselves a match. So if a matchmaker isn’t right for you, what are the alternatives to matchmaking services?
1. Hire a Dating Coach – $1,197/3 months
A matchmaker is somewhat one-dimensional. Their job is to put you in touch with potential suitors already within their dating network. Dating coaches on the other hand will teach you how to fish and allow you to do so in any dating pool you deem fit. A dating coach (such as yours truly) will equip you with the dating skills you need to get out there and find a lady of your own. The effects of hiring a dating coach won’t wear off when the membership ends as it would with a matchmaker. Rather you’ll learn skills that you can apply for the rest of your life. A single three month period is all it’ll take to turn you into a heart-stealing Don Juan.
Teaming up with a professional wing-woman who specializes on the ins and outs of modern dating will expedite the process of building your next meaningful relationship. Dating coaches understand that using a single channel to find eligible women is tantamount to eating the same old scrambled eggs for breakfast. Every. Single. Day.
A more effective way to find dates means enacting a 360-degree action plan that uses multiple dating channels to find your next girlfriend.
Unlike a matchmaker -who can make clients feel as though they’ve been ghosted- when you enroll in our Signature Program you’ll meet with me once a week for 12 weeks. Before the close of the program you’ll most likely already be in the early stages of a meaningful romantic relationship. Don’t believe me –check out what our newly minted Romeos have to say.
Could Becky do that for you?
2. Speed Dating – $25-50/ per session
Hold up for a second. Before scrolling down, just admit that as lame and depressing as speed dating sounds, you’ve always thought about doing it. If you dissect what speed dating is, it’s actually freaking perfect. All it is, is a bunch of certified single people that are forced to talk to each other to see if they’ll be a good match for each other. That’s freaking brilliant. It’s the romantic equivalent of a bunch of unemployed people and a bunch of companies that are hiring briefly interviewing each other to see if the other is a good fit. There’s no second-guessing if the other person is single or waiting for someone. She’s literally at a singles speed dating event. O and I guess she is in fact waiting for someone… you.
Speed dating is as direct as dating gets. The average speed dating event will run you $25-50, sometimes not including the cost of transportation or beverages. Most speed dating events guarantee that you’ll meet at least 10 women. Let’s say you do this a couple times a month for three months and when it’s all said and done you’ll be able to tally upwards of 80+ women that you’ve met in a 3-month span.
Speed dating is great in that it exposes you to piles of women in a short period of time. But exposure to singles won’t help you get a girlfriend if you don’t know how to flirt. This is where a dating coach comes in. A speed dating date will only last 5 minutes. There’s only so much that can be expressed in five minutes. To be effective you’ll have to make that most out of every line, as if you were a poet. No need to be redundant or find safety in the mundane questions she’s been bombarded with already. Refine your dating skills and learn how to convert first dates into second ones with the help of a dating coach.
3. Slum Around The Bars – $40-80+/per outing
How many standup comedians have spoken of the ills of finding your next girlfriend at a bar? Sure it’s cliché by now, but there is some truth to it. While it is an alternative to matchmaking services it certainly isn’t the most effective option.
If you go out three times a week spending just $40 every evening, at the end of a three month period you would have ended up spending $1,440. This money might be worth it if you were guaranteed to meet singles, as speed dating does, but when it comes to snooping around a bar there is no such guarantee. Not to mention the cost of transportation and the many bottles of Advil you’ll purchase to alleviate your many hangovers.
Let’s be serious, you’re more likely to become an alcoholic than meet your new love interest in a bar. When we chat via a 1-on-1 Skype session, the very first topic we’ll discuss is the type of women you want to meet and where to meet them.
But for shits and giggles let’s drop you like a Simms character in a bar surrounded by ideal women. How do you approach your dream girl? Should you ask her out then and there or get her number before asking her out? Is it okay to touch her, if so where, and how do you not touch her in a way that reminds her of her Uncle Jerry? Feel a bit overwhelmed? No worries, turning unsure men into dating champs is what I do.
4. Bounce Around Meetups – $0ish/ per Meetup
I cannot sing the praises of Meetup enough. Meetup.com is a website that brings together people that share the same hobbies. Let’s say you’re into rock climbing –there’s a group for that. Or maybe you’re trying to learn Italian –there’s a group for that too. No matter your passion, there’s a Meetup group full of fanatics that are just as jazzed about live Jazz music as you are.
Studies show that opposites don’t in fact attract. It’s a lovely sentiment that Disney movies love to peddle, but it’s just not true. The truth is that we want someone who shares many of the same interests as we do. Wouldn’t you want your girlfriend to also be a huge fan of landscape painting? FYI, Meetup.com has not sponsored this post in any way. I’m so vehement about the efficacy of meeting your next girlfriend at a meetup because it’s just such a brilliant idea.
Even if you’re not attracted to any females in your first couple of Meetup groups, it’s never a bad idea to expand your social circle. The more friends you have, the more dating-related connections you’ll be able to make.
With the help of a dating coach, you’ll be able to find Meetups that are chock-full of single women. Some Meetups cater to women more than others. Consult with a dating coach so that you don’t get discouraged when you don’t meet the love of your life at the first Meetup you attend. Making strategic plans for which events to attend is a topic covered during the second session of my dating program.
5. Join Multiple Gyms & Independent Workout Classes – $800-1,000/ 3 months
As a fit person, this is by far the best place to meet someone. Not only does everyone at the gym share a love for getting fit, but most are also freaking gorgeous. If you’re a gym rat that’s literally the perfect place to find a partner. If you think that hitting on someone at the gym is considered presumptuous, consider that people are more easily aroused when their hearts are beating rapidly. Sure you might be breaking an unspoken rule, but you’ll also be flirting with someone who’s already primed and ready to go. Just try not checking out her assets while chatting.
Joining a gym and enrolling in multiple independent workout classes is a great way to meet people. Perhaps your gym already offers fitness classes at no cost extra e.g. yoga, core, salsa, etc. This is the best place to meet people. Not only will you at times be required to work in groups, but after the class is over you’ve got an easy conversation starter, “Wow, Samantha really got us going today.” Boom, easy.
As far as independent classes are concerned I’d recommend trying out Bootcamp, Soul Cycle, or Rumble. Classes that encourage interaction and teamwork are always best.
6. Alternatives To Matchmaking Services, Meet New Friends – $?
Making friends became a hard science ever since you graduated from college. Since the age of 6 you were surrounded by kids your age for hours on end, every single day. But since you’ve entered the real world, making friends just isn’t as organic as it used to be.
In fact sometimes even asking out a dude can be as daunting as asking a woman out. That being said, saying yes to every social engagement will ensure that your friend circle gets expanded. Letting both old and new friends know that your single will gradually open the door to them introducing you to their single friends. The boon of being introduced to friends of friends is that they’re pre-screened, are already in your friend group, and are people that you’ll probably get along with.
Even if you don’t earn a girlfriend from becoming Mr. Social, you’ll still make meaningful platonic relationships. That counts for something nowadays.
7. Talk To People – $0
Don’t be that weird guy that gives an overly cheery “hello there!” to every passerby. That’s not what I’m advocating. You should have the goal of striking up two conversations with new people or acquaintances every day. Think will expand your social circle and make you a conversational maven. Take a genuine interest in the lives of those around you and you’ll be rewarded. Talk with strangers on the subway, while at the café, joke with the bartender, ask for advice from someone at the gym, and even post a few more photos on social media. The simplest alternative to matchmaking services is just being more social.
8. Dating Applications – $0-300/ 3 months
Let us for a moment compare the dating database of a matchmaker to the combined dating pool of Tinder, Bumble, POF, Match.com, and Hinge. While a matchmaker might have at best a couple thousand single women in her database, the combined female firepower of five or so dating applications has millions of single women to choose from. That’s a dating pool that any single swimmer will never be able to find the true depth of.
Hiring a matchmaker sounds like an awesome choice. But after listening to the stories my clients have told me, I can no longer endorse their fairytale magic. The results just aren’t there. If you hire a matchmaker, ask to interview their 3 most recent clients, vet them online, and check to see if you’re entitled to a refund if they don’t set you up with a certain number of dates.
Matchmaking is old school. If you want to learn the keys to dating & adapt to the current dating landscape, hire a dating coach. In just a three-month period I can build you a tailor-made 360-degree dating strategy designed to find you a girlfriend. Trust the master and put your trust into this guaranteed alternative to matchmaking services.