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8 Best Alternatives To Matchmaking Services That’ll Save You Thousands

8 Best Alternatives To Matchmaking Services That’ll Save You Thousands

Matchmaking is what Becky, your best friend in 7th grade, tried to do with every single kid she knew, so basically the entire class. The issue she ran into is that in 7th grade, there are a finite number of potential matches. Luckily for Becky, she identified the problem early and found a new career path, eventually becoming the enigmatic “Becky with the good hair.”

However, the other Beckies of the world are still grappling with the same problem little Becky dealt with in the 7th grade.

Matchmakers are great in theory. Clients get to sit back and go about their lives as matchmakers comb the earth in search of their client’s soul mate.



The issue here is that matchmakers are only as valuable as the depth of their database. 

The more singles to choose from, the better the odds of finding you a forever partner.

Despite this many still are asking for $150k a year.

So, if a matchmaker isn’t right for you, what are the alternatives to matchmaking services?

1. Hire a Dating Coach – $3-6k for 3 months

A matchmaker is one-dimensional.

Their job is to put you in touch with potential suitors already within their dating network.

Dating coaches on the other hand will teach you how to fish and allow you to do so in any dating pool you deem fit.

A dating coach (such as yours truly) will equip you with the dating skills you need to get out there and find a partner of your own. The effects of hiring a dating coach won’t wear off when the membership ends as it would with a matchmaker. Rather you’ll learn skills that you can apply for the rest of your life. In fact, at emlovz, even after you’ve found a partner, you won’t be booted out of our community. We offer every student a lifetime membership regardless of if their relationship status changes.

We’ll equip you with the skills you need to quickly and efficiently find your perfect partner. We teach single men and women how to do this via MegaDating. You’ll learn the skills you need to find a partner by binging our content, meeting with our team of coaches, attending our live coaching sessions, and going on mock dates.

Here are just some of the emlovz coaches you’ll team up with along the way:

  • Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host coaching sessions every week
  • Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
  • Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists for men. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
  • Darshil is our mock date coach for women. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
  • Renee is our anxiety dating coach. As a licensed therapist she knows the steps needed to turn you into a cool, calm, and collected dater
  • Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
  • Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets

When that’s all said and done you’ll need to MegaDate to quickly and efficiently find a partner. MegaDating is simply prolific dating. It involves you going on 20 dates in 90 days. It’s not about dating for the hell of it, but rather is a proactive and systematic approach to quickly finding a super compatible partner.



But before jumping in the bed with a coach you should check out their masterclass to get a better overview of what they offer (Men’s Masterclass, Women’s Masterclass). Also, be sure to read up on their reviews.

And remember that dating can be a tiresome and lonely process.

That’s why finding a supportive community that understands what you’re going through is so damn important. At emlovz we have communities for male and female singles that are full of supportive and empathetic students. 

2. Speed Dating – $25-50 per event

Hold up for a second.

Before scrolling down, just admit that as lame and depressing as speed dating sounds, you’ve always thought about doing it.

If you dissect what speed dating is, it’s actually freaking perfect. All it is, is a bunch of certified single people that are forced to talk to each other to see if they’ll be a good match for each other.

That’s freaking brilliant. It’s the romantic equivalent of a bunch of unemployed people and a bunch of companies that are hiring briefly interviewing each other to see if the other is a good fit. There’s no second-guessing if the other person is single or waiting for someone. They’re literally at a singles speed dating event.

Speed dating is great in that it exposes you to piles of singles in a short period of time. But exposure to singles won’t help you get a partner if you don’t know how to flirt… that’s where a dating coach can help.

3. Hit The Bars – $40-80+ per outing

How many standup comedians have spoken of the ills of finding your next romance at a bar? Sure it’s cliché by now, but there is some truth to it. While it is an alternative to matchmaking services it certainly isn’t the most effective option.

If you go out three times a week spending just $40 every evening, at the end of a three-month period, you would have ended up spending $1,440. This money might be worth it if you were guaranteed to meet singles, as speed dating does, but when it comes to snooping around a bar there is no such guarantee. Not to mention the cost of transportation and the many bottles of Advil you’ll purchase to alleviate your many hangovers.

In our program, Dating Decoded, we actually discourage our students from going to bars. If you go to a bar you’re much more likely to get a hangover or a DUI than you are a lifetime partner.

4. Bounce Around Meetups – $0ish per Meetup

I cannot sing the praises of Meetup enough.



Meetup.com is a website that brings together people who share the same hobbies. Let’s say you’re into rock climbing –there’s a group for that. Or maybe you’re trying to learn Italian –there’s a group for that too. No matter your passion, there’s a Meetup group full of fanatics who are just as jazzed about live Jazz music as you are.

Studies show that opposites don’t in fact attract. It’s a lovely sentiment that Disney movies love to peddle, but it’s just not true. The truth is that we want someone who shares many of the same interests as we do. Wouldn’t you want your girlfriend to also be a huge fan of landscape painting? FYI, Meetup.com has not sponsored this post in any way. I’m so vehement about the efficacy of meeting your next girlfriend at a meetup because it’s just such a brilliant idea.

Even if you’re not attracted to any females in your first couple of Meetup groups, it’s never a bad idea to expand your social circle. The more friends you have, the more dating-related connections you’ll be able to make.

5. Join Multiple Gyms & Independent Workout Classes – $200-1,000/ 3 months

As a fit person looking for someone just as into fitness as you are, this is by far the best place to meet someone.

Not only does everyone at the gym share a love for getting fit, but most are also freaking gorgeous.

If you’re a gym rat that’s literally the perfect place to find a partner. If you think that hitting on someone at the gym is considered presumptuous, consider that people are more easily aroused when their hearts are beating rapidly. Sure you might be breaking an unspoken rule, but you’ll also be flirting with someone who’s already primed and ready to go. Just try not checking out their assets while chatting.

Joining a gym and enrolling in multiple independent workout classes is a great way to meet people. Perhaps your gym already offers fitness classes at no cost extra e.g. yoga, core, salsa, etc. This is the best place to meet people. Not only will you at times be required to work in groups, but after the class is over you’ve got an easy conversation starter, “Wow, Samantha really got us going today.” Boom, easy.

As far as independent classes are concerned I’d recommend trying out Bootcamp, Soul Cycle, Rumble, or ClassPass. Classes that encourage interaction and teamwork are always best.

6. Alternatives To Matchmaking Services, Meet New Friends – $?

Making friends has become a hard science ever since you graduated from college.

Since the age of 6 you were surrounded by kids your age for hours on end, every single day. But since you’ve entered the real world, making friends just isn’t as organic as it used to be.

That being said, saying yes to every social engagement will ensure that your friend circle gets expanded. Letting both old and new friends know that you’re single will gradually open the door to them introducing you to their single friends. The boon of being introduced to friends of friends is that they’re pre-screened, are already in your friend group, and are people that you’ll probably get along with.



Even if you don’t earn a girlfriend from becoming Mr. Social, you’ll still make meaningful platonic relationships. That counts for something nowadays.

We at emlovz welcome all new members into our community. Every student has an accountability buddy, attends weekly group coaching sessions and training sessions, and has access to our active online community where students go to talk wins, losses, advice, and commiserate with one another. We have students all over the nation that also meet up in person to forge friendships and meet singles in the wild.

7. Just Talk To People – $0

Don’t be that weird person that gives an overly cheery “hello there!” to every passerby.

That’s not what I’m advocating.

You should have the goal of striking up two conversations with new people or acquaintances every day.

Think will expand your social circle and make you a conversational maven.

Take a genuine interest in the lives of those around you and you’ll be rewarded. Talk with strangers on the subway, while at the café, joke with the bartender, ask for advice from someone at the gym, and even post a few more photos on social media. The simplest alternative to matchmaking services is just being more social.

8. Dating Applications – $0-300/ 3 months

Let us for a moment compare the dating database of a matchmaker to the combined dating pool of Tinder, Bumble, The League, and Hinge.

While a matchmaker might have, at best, a couple of thousand singles in her database, the combined firepower of five or so dating applications has millions of singles to choose from. That’s a dating pool that any single swimmer will never be able to find the true depth of.

Hiring a matchmaker sounds like an awesome choice. But after listening to the stories my students have told me, I can no longer endorse their fairytale magic. The results just aren’t there.

If you hire a matchmaker, ask to interview their 3 most recent clients, vet them online, and check to see if you’re entitled to a refund if they don’t set you up with a certain number of dates.

Matchmaking is old school. If you want to learn the keys to dating & adapt to the current dating landscape, hire a dating coach. In just a three-month period we can build you a tailor-made 360-degree dating strategy designed to find you a compatible partner.



Check out our men’s program here and our women’s program here. Each addresses the unique obstacles both sexes face when searching for their perfect partner.

If you want to learn what our students are saying about us, check out their reviews here. 

alternatives to matchmaking services

alternatives to matchmaking services

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