Dating in San Francisco & for Bay Area is a touchy situation for men.

In both San Francisco and San Jose there are 20,000 more single men than women.

As a result, studies show that San Francisco is the “top city for marriageable men.”

It makes sense considering San Francisco residents are some of the most educated, wealthy, and just in general, have their shit together. But while having a large pool of highly desirable men and a dearth of women is great for single women, it isn’t for their male counterparts. 

The San Francisco Bay Area is a romantic war zone.

With men vastly outnumbering women, the cosmopolitan ladies of SF have their pick of the bunch.

Women can even date out of their league because men have so few choices. It’s this recipe that has led some to label SF a hookup hub. People don’t really enter into monogamous relationships, rather they simply date around, have sex with people they barely know, and ghost their romantic interest when things start getting too serious. 

Whether this grim picture of the SF dating scene is entirely true or not is up for debate. What can’t be denied however is that dating in San Francisco for a man is well, not easy, to say the least. 

To make it more fruitful for you we’ve compiled the best dating apps in the Bay Area. 

Before we get started it must be said that by the end of this article you’ll no doubt have a favorite app, however, one app isn’t enough.

Considering how difficult the dating scene is, we suggest downloading around five apps. But not everyone loves dating apps. As SF locals we know the best places in San Francisco to meet single women, let us show you where. 

But first, let’s talk apps. 

Dating in the Bay Area: What Are the Best Dating Apps

Hinge

Hinge is the “dating app designed to be deleted.”

In the past few years, I’ve seen this app produce the most dates for my clients. Hinge attracts a large, high-quality audience and allows men to message without having to match first. This gives men the upper hand when getting in front of interesting women.

If you can craft a compelling message, this app gives you the best chance at securing a match and eventual date with the woman of your dreams.

In my coaching program, I walk my clients step-by-step through crafting compelling messages that win responses. If you’re not getting the matches that you want, if your response rate is low, or if your conversations are fizzling out before you can convert the match into a date, I can help. Learn more about my coaching program here.

One of my favorite features is Hinge’s Dealbreaker.

Everyone has a dealbreaker and Hinge knows it. It’s not going to waste time showing you profiles of people that smoke, drink, or are Libertarian when that’s not your style. Once you turn on the Dealbreaker feature, Hinge will prioritize users that don’t fit into your dealbreaker category. 

Apps have a tendency of glossing over a user’s personality, instead opting to highlight their photos. In order for Hinge users to view another’s photos, they must scroll down, past the written portion of their profile. It’s in this written section that you’ll find information regarding one’s religion, education, and lifestyle habits. 

What makes Hinge one of the best Bay Area dating apps is its Most Compatible feature.

The feature helps you find a highly compatible user with the help of the Gale-Shapley algorithm.

Hinge leverages this algorithm by requiring users to answer a series of random questions. The answers are then used to determine their compatibility with another user.

Hinge offers users a new Most Compatible match every day. 

The last Hinge feature I’d like to highlight speaks to why Hinge is the best dating app for San Francisco.

With many other apps, you both have to match to begin chatting. With Hinge, you can like a person’s photo or Hinge Answer and provide them with a comment.

Signaling your interest by investing the time into writing a comment has the same impact as a Super like on Tinder would. 

Hinge also recently created Hinge+ and HingeX, two different subscriptions that give you serious perks. Here are what they offer. 

The thing is, unless you’re already getting matches there’s little reason to pay for Hinge+ or HingeX. Only pay for a subscription if you’ve optimized your profiles.

Bumble

Bumble is Tinder’s feminist sister.

The two apps look alike, have a similar user-base, and were even co-founded by the same person. 

One way Bumble makes dating in the Bay Area easier for men is that it requires women to make the first move. Female Bumble users looking for heterosexual relationships have 24 hours after a match is made to pen the first message. If the 24 hours elapse without a message being sent, the match expires. 

Bumble is known for attracting the highest-quality women but can frustrate men when their matches expire without the woman sending the first message. Not to worry though. In my coaching program, I teach my clients how to use the app to get in front of women they don’t match with or women who don’t message first after matching by leveraging social media tools. The app can still serve as a great resource for lead generation but can be frustrating if it’s used traditionally. Learn more about how my coaching program can help here.

Another major difference between the two apps is that 34% of Bumble users are female. While this may sound paltry, compare that to the just 22% of female Tinder users. You can argue that Tinder’s legions of users mean that still many more women use Tinder than Bumble. While that’s true you can also say the same for its male users. There’s the tradeoff. While the dating pool is smaller on Bumble, it’s also less competitive than Tinder. 

The third and most salient difference between the two is the user. Tinder users are more of the salacious frat boy ilk than Bumble users. Bumblers are more refined, laid back, and interested in a serious relationship. That may have to do in part because it’s a dating app designed for women by women and Bumble’s ambitions of being more than just a dating app. 

Note: If you’re using this app, consider upgrading to Bumble Boost – you’ll get unlimited swipes and other perks.

Coffee Meets Bagel

If it wasn’t included on a list of the best dating apps in the Bay Area you’d probably think Coffee Meets Bagel was a app designed to rank the best brunch spots.

Despite its poor name, it’s actually a pretty solid app.

Coffee Meets Bagel was created by San Francisco residents for San Francisco residents. 

After its disastrous pitch on Shark Tank where every investor snubbed them, the three founders (all sisters) walked away and turned CMB into one of the best dating apps in the country.

So how’d they do it?

Unlike most other apps, CMB is only for serious daters with the app reporting that 90% of users are looking for a serious relationship.

It appeals to this demographic in part due to its lean algorithm that picks out 21 “bagels” or potential matches, every day at noon.

Every day CMB presents you with 21 profiles of users that it thinks you’re compatible with.

You then have the option to like, pass, or give a priority like.

Users love this option as they don’t feel the need to endlessly swipe until they finally find a compatible user.

You can also swipe through profiles as you would on Tinder or Bumble when browsing profiles via the Discover feature.

It should also be said that CMB is a small business, and as such, you won’t face as many scammers and bots as you would with a POF or OKC. 

Facebook Dating

For those that haven’t heard yet, yes, Facebook is now a romantic. 

Just last year FB finally launched FB Dating in the USA. It had been rolled out at over a dozen countries previously and has now finally made its way into American phones and soon our hearts. 

FB comes in last on this list because it’s the newest of the bunch. There’s little that makes FB Dating stand out from the rest apart from the fact that, well, it’s FB. 

Facebook has been shy about releasing user numbers but seeing as how 221 million Americans use Facebook, we can assume that soon enough FB Dating will challenge for the title of the most used dating platform. Until then, you can log into the feature without downloading a separate app. Activate FB Dating by finding the feature in your FB app. 

The League

The League is exactly like Tinder… if every user had an elite higher education and made six figures. 

As the most exclusive dating platform in this article, The League accepts users based on their employment status, job, college education, and -arguably- looks. It’s been dubbed the “elitist Tinder” in part because of its strict acceptance policy and the fact that, according to its founder Amanda Bradford, “98% [of users] have college degrees, 8% are PhDs, 30% have advanced degrees, 14% are director-level or higher, 21% are managers, 13% are CEOs, founders, co-founders or owners, and over 39% are estimated to be making six-figure salaries.”

Like I said, just like Tinder.

The League caters to an older crowd, with the median age of its users coming in at 29. As you know it’s users are established professionally, intelligent, and are often wealthy. If this app sounds like its right for you go ahead and apply. Just be forewarned that only 20-30% of applicants make the grade. Also know that some applicants wait weeks before learning if they’ve been accepted or not. You can increase your odds of acceptance by either paying for a membership or filling out your profile in full.

Raya

Raya is where the rich, famous, and creative go when they want to find a partner (or at least chase clout).

It’s where you’ll find Olivia Rodrigo, Drew Barrymore, and Simone Biles. Everyone is pretty, smart, and for the most part works in the entertainment capacity. It’s kind of like The League but even more exclusive and even better-looking women.

It has an acceptance rate of just 8%, a waitlist of over 100,000 applicants, is invite-only, and you’ll have to compete against John Mayer.  

If you get accepted it could just open up an entirely new world for you. With a ton of users in the Bay Area on Raya you’ll have plenty of potential matches – but first you need to get accepted.

Tinder

Tinder makes this list for one simple reason – it still has a large user base. 

Nowadays Tinder is used by over 50 million users worldwide and 7.9 million users in the U.S. 35% of its users are between the ages of 18-24 while 45% of its members are 25-34.

Tinder still caters to a younger audience but as you can see, young professionals and those in their early 30s now make up the most size-able user age bracket.

Sure more people use Tinder than any other dating app -and by some distance– but why exactly do they use it? 

50% of Tinder users have never dated a match before. This is because Tinder is viewed more so as a game than a dating app. Users will swipe gleefully away to kill time while on the toilet or late at night to give their self-esteem a little boost.

A LendEDU poll found that out of 9,761 college-age students polled, 44% of them say they use Tinder to boost their self-esteem. Let’s remember though that the people who were polled were students. We can assume that as users get older they begin to use the app as a tool to find romantic partners rather than a game. 

As you can see, Tinder has its ups and downs. While it’s one of the best Bay Area dating apps there are others worth downloading as well.

San Francisco Dating Apps To Avoid

Now that we’ve covered the best dating apps in SF, it’s time to mention the worst of the worst.

Unless you have a fetish for fake accounts, inactive users, and scammers you’ll want to stay clear of these dating apps.

• eHarmony – too expensive, not enough free users, lengthy sign-up process, I’ve never seen a current couple meet on eHarmony
• Match – the OG dating website was sued by the FTC for creating fake profiles, not many users
• Plenty of Fish – are there though? Certainly not on this app. PoF has more bots and scammers than single women
• OkCupid – only popular in West Virginia

Where To Meet Singles In SF

You don’t just have to meet women online. Sure 40% of all new relationships start online and while that sounds like a lot, even more relationships start in person.

But where can you meet single women in San Francisco?

Here’s a list we compiled based on where our students have met women broken down by age group.

Where To Meet Single Women In San Francisco For Guys Ages 40-60

It’s true that the singles scene in San Francisco is awash in men.

However, while that’s generally the case for those in their 20s and early 30s, it’s not so much the case for those in older age brackets. The older you are, the less of a gender disparity there is.

With that in mind, you should have no problem meeting women in the following places.

Volunteer at the Presidio: Meeting Women in San Francisco

The younger crowd thinks they’re too cool to volunteer.

And that’s great news for you.

There are many types of volunteering opportunities at The Presidio.

From tending to the gardens to cleaning up beaches, restoring historic landscapes, and more.

Volunteering gives you the opportunity to quickly meet and bond with women that share similar interests.

Meeting women through volunteering is a great way to attract women who are emotionally available (because they have the capacity to give back to their community).

It also shows that they are kind, thoughtful, caring, and generous with their time. Selfish women don’t volunteer so you’ll also be able to weed out gold-diggers, narcissists, and sociopaths.

A win-win!

Church or Spiritual Community Meeting

Women are more religious than men according to a 2018 Pew Research study. 

You might not think a religious event would be a great place to meet women in San Francisco, but think about it. 

There will not only be more women than men there but also more women in your desired age bracket than in any other place in town.

Young people just aren’t religious these days.

Which is great news for you.

Spending time at a religious or spiritual institution is a great way to meet women who are stable, responsible, kind, thoughtful, and who share the same values as you. 

Join a Golf Club

The quickest way to form a bond is to compete with another person.

No doubt you still have fond memories and keep in touch with teammates of old.

Quickly strike up a meaningful relationship when you join a team golf tournament in your area. 

Join this co-ed tournament to meet new women that you already share an interest with.

If you join a club, even better. There is likely a restaurant or cafe where people congregate afterward where you can meet like-minded women.

Look for golf clubs that are co-ed or ones that host co-ed events.

Even if there aren’t a ton of women at the club just expanding your social circle can help you get in front of more women.

The larger your social group and the more you put yourself out there, the better!

Sailing Classes

Sailing classes are a great way to meet new people who are financially secure, while also developing new skills and enjoying an adventure-packed hobby.

There are many schools to choose from in San Francisco but Spinnaker looks to be the top-rated.

Spinnaker allows you to take lessons, join a sailing club, charter a boat, and sign up for team events.

This is an expensive hobby that will weed out financially unstable women.

Join a Ski Club

The cool thing about the Viking Club is that you have to attend a certain number of meetings which gets you in front of new people and helps you to socialize while doing something you already love to do or something you’re already interested in.

A ski club is a great way to meet financially secure women.

Joining a club will give you structure and a community so you can attend events and get to know women who also love to ski.

Archery Club

If Cupid won’t shoot someone with an arrow for you, you’ll have to do it yourself.

And I mean that in the most metaphorical sense possible.

SF Archers has both indoor and outdoor shooting events. They will not only teach you the ABCs of shooting but offer a vibrant social scene to meet fellow and aspiring archers.

Join the Volunteer Council at SF Symphony

Is there anything more romantic than being serenaded by a symphony?

That’s what you’ll receive on a weekly basis should you volunteer with the SF Symphony.

This is a great way to meet like-minded women who give back to their community.

Being a paid member also means you’re weeding out women who don’t have their finances in order and women who are too self-focused to share their time and contribute to something greater than themselves.

Volunteer at the SPCA

I know you love animals.

I also know you love women.

There’s a reason you posted a photo of you and your pooch in you Bumble account.

Why not combine two of your favorite things when you volunteer at SPCA San Francisco?

With over 1,200 volunteers, each doing so for at least 6 months, you’ll find a tight-knit community full of women.

Volunteer at the SF Ballet

Ballet isn’t for everyone.

And that’s exactly why you should volunteer with the SF Ballet.

It’s just easier to bond with someone when you’re both into something that few other people are.

Volunteer at St. Anthony’s

St. Anthony’s slogan is, hope served daily. With a little luck, they’ll also be serving romance.

In also seriousness St. Anthony’s a god send to the SF community. The organization helps feed thousands of people on a daily basis and provides a wealth of social services that underserved communities are in need of.

Meeting someone here while helping the community isn’t the worst story you could tells your friends about how you met your new girlfriend.

Usher at the SF War Memorial

There is a myriad of different shows taking place at the SF War Memorial Performing Arts Center. 

Every type of show from live jazz to ballet.

Find your jam and then find your woman.

Attend Fundraising Galas

Everyone wants to meet their Cinderella at a ball.

You’ll have your chance when you attend a fundraising gala. 

What better way to meet successful women while also giving back to your community. If you have the means to do it, and enjoy dressing to impress, I’d recommend it. 

The Urban Adventure Club

Watch this video and tell me that the UAC doesn’t look like your jam?

Perhaps this group’s better suited to meet SF singles of a younger age, but hey, you’re never too old to explore SF.

The Battery Social Club

The Battery is one of the coolest social clubs I’ve ever seen. Their Dec/Nov. lineup of events includes:

• Magic show
• Mental health awareness event
• Urban hike
• SF symphony
• Metallica concert

Meet new people and attend some of the coolest events in town.

Join the Yacht Club

Looking for a woman that’s nautical-minded, fancy, and knows the difference between tacking and jibing?

If so, you might want to join the SF Yacht Club.

Take an Acting Class

There are many to choose from but the Beverly Hills Playhouse appears to take the cake. 

If you used to love acting or have always wanted to try it out, there’s no better way to meet people and form deep connections than through acting.

Taking classes will help you to see the same women repeatedly, which will help to build trust and rapport, while allowing you to get to know people over time, rather than having to do another cold approach at a bar.

To prepare for class, you’ll also likely need to meet up with your scene study partner during the week, which gives you more time to get to know one another.

Even if you don’t find a woman to date, it’s a great way to meet new people who can introduce you to their friends. It’ll also give boost your confidence and help you think on your feet while dating. 

Where to Meet Singles In San Francisco: Marina Safeway

What’s the antithesis of meeting someone on a dating app?

Ask any octagenarian and they’ll tell you it’s meeting your new lover at the supermarket. Meeting singles at the supermarket is one thing, but doing so at the Marina Safeway, has its own flare. Many a San Franciscan will tell you that placing a bunch of bananas in the child seat of your shopping card is Marina Safeway code for “I’m single and looking to mingle.” It’s at this supermarket that phallic veggies and vulva-like fruit fully embrace their connotative meaning.

While singles looking for an alternative way to meet their new flings do happen to peruse the aisles of “Dateway” keep in mind that most of the people in here are just trying to snag some avocados and bounce. It’s a supermarket first and probably the most indie way to meet your wife second.

Where To Meet Single Women In San Francisco: For Guys In Their 30s

Year-Round Festivals

The next couple of months will see numerous festivals dominate the social scene in San Francisco. Food, art, and music festivals abound right up until the chilly days of late autumn waft on in. Festivals elicit the extrovert in all of us.

With so many vendors around we feel compelled to ask questions, speak to strangers, and open up. This is the perfect scenario to meet other singles. Grab a pal -male or female- and take to the streets. Worst case you don’t score a number you’ll still walk away with some killer kettle corn.

Off The Grid: Every Friday Night March Through October

Sharing food with one another is the oldest human pastime there is. Offering another a cup of tea or a piece of brisket awakens an ancient part of us. Humans have a deep-seated desire to break bread and bond with one another. This urge is coaxed out of us even more at Off The Grid’s Friday night food festival. Grab a Texas-style brisket and make small talk with a stranger as you two keep warm at one of the festival’s communal fire-pits.

If you prefer to operate in more intimate venues, there’s always Presidio Twilight on Thursday nights. Same vibe and food at Off The Grid’s Friday night spectacle, just less competition.

Saturdays At The Great Meadow Park At Fort Mason

No matter where you are, parks are great spots to meet women. But in San Francisco, parks take on an almost mythical tone. With our ubiquitously sour weather, once the fog dissipates we flock to parks. They become areas where we once again realize that there’s a world outside our living rooms and dank bars. A park like The Great Meadow Park at Fort Mason is where single women come to stretch out, bask in the sun, and open themselves up to the great outdoors.

Thursday Nights at California Academy of Sciences

If you love soccer, you’ll meet you dream girl at a San Jose Earthquakes supporters bar, if you’re a developer you’ll probably meet your true love at a coding Meetup, and if you’re a science geek it’s not rocket science, just common sense that a woman that shares your interests will be moseying around the planetarium exhibit next Thursday evening.

But why Thursday you ask? Well because on Fridays everyone’s at the Off The Grid food festival, duh.

Your Gym’s Workout Classes

Be careful here. You may have just read, “At the Gym,” that’s not at all what I’m advising. Gym rats -male or female- generally don’t want to be bothered while their blasting Eye of the Tiger and doing squats. However, the vibe completely changes at workout classes.

Bonds are forged via a connection. That connection can be religious, food-oriented, or in this case, sporty. Exercising together is one of the best ways to quickly accelerate a relationship. Ideally, your gym workout class encourages teamwork, but it’s okay if it doesn’t.

What matters is that you two have just gone through something intense together. Whether she knows it or not, you two just embarked on a journey. The fact that you two ride a bike, take salsa classes, or punch the stuffing out of things once a week every week means that you’re basically paving for a way to start a conversation with her. After class is over, simply comment on the class you two just took together. No worries if you don’t snag her number the first time you chat, you know where to find her in a week’s time.

Dolores Park

You know you’ll be able to find a woman with a common interest at Dolores Park. That’s right, even if you’re a fan of tree shaping, at Dolores, you’ll be able to find your people. Dolores is home to single women lounging, single women playing tennis, single women walking their dogs, etc.

Where To Meet Single Girls in San Francisco: For Guys In Their 20s

Jaxson Bar

Be warned that Jaxson attracts a younger, frattier, and more country milieu than you’re used to in the San Francisco Bay Area. That being said, people here actually dance. I’m not talking about a line of socially inept dudes swaying in the corner while leering lasciviously at women, but rather both men and women breaking it down on the dance floor. C’mon now, when’s the last time you busted a move?

Hit Up a Classy Happy Hour at Sens

Happy hour is probably the most appropriately named thing ever. Ask the average employed person what they need more than anything after work and invariably they’ll tell you, a beer. It just so happens that at happy hours, those heavy with the baggage of work are able to take a load off in the happiest way possible. Happy hours are cheap, full of buzzed people glad to finally get off work, and perfect for meeting employed singles.

Sens, in particular, is an upscale bar, right on the Embarcadero. Their rooftop bar overlooks the Bay Bridge and Ferry Building. If you do hit up Sens, be sure to tell my favorite bartender, Jason, that Emyli sent you.

Harry’s On Fillmore

Some singles bars can get trashy. Harry’s isn’t that spot. Solid mixed drinks, wood everything, and a speakeasy vibe make this spot a go-to for singles. Harry’s has many different personalities. Sometimes it’s a place where the boys go to watch the game or where the dancers go to flex a move. It’s definitely one of the best bars for singles in San Francisco.

Find an Eclectic Coffee Shop Near Your Home & Be a Regular

San Francisco boasts 307 coffee shops for every 100,000 residents. That’s more than any other city in America. Considering the numbers are in your favor it shouldn’t be too difficult to find an off-beat coffee shop in your neighborhood.

Becoming a regular at a coffee shop means getting to know the lay of the land, the ambiance, the employees, and of course the clientele. Once you’ve laid claim to your local coffee shop it’s time to make small talk with other regulars. Generally opening a conversation with a complete stranger is a tough ask, but not when you’ve got things in common. You two don’t need to have fairytale compatibility, a shared interest in quality coffee is enough to get the conversation started.

And When You’re Ready For the Date

Now that you know where to meet singles in San Francisco, you’ll have to figure out where to bring your lovely lady on a first date in San Francisco. Take a good look at the first date spots in the aforementioned link. For some extra ideas on where to take the woman you just met at Harry’s, see below…

Cigar Bar: Salsa Dance Venue

Every Saturday, you and your new lady can take $7 dance classes at the Cigar Bar. Surely she’s never gone salsa dancing on a first date before. Make it the type of first date that guarantees a second date.

SalsaCrazy at Neck Of The Woods

First dates that take place on the weekend versus a Monday have a different vibe. A weekend first date that takes place at night comes with certain expectations (and I never recommend setting up a first date after dark). Most likely she chose you over hanging out with her friends. This means that you now have to perform.

If the date isn’t as enjoyable as if she were to kick it with her friends, you’ve failed. Luckily, there’s a way around such an expectation. Just go out with her midweek. At SalsaCrazy, you can take beginner or intermediate salsa classes every Monday at Neck of the Woods.

Clock Bar

Hotel bars are often overlooked. People don’t realize that just because you aren’t staying at the hotel doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a cocktail or two. This bar is great for both meeting singles and first dates. Take advantage of the fact that the public is either unaware or feels too awkward grabbing a drink at the Clock Bar. The lack of fellow patrons will make you and your lady feel like the king and queen of the castle.

Dating Is A Lot Easier With A Coach By Your Side

For most unclaimed men, figuring out where to meet singles in San Francisco is the hardest part of being single. You can have all the social skills in the world, but if you’re not meeting singles, your suave gift of gab won’t do you any good. Don’t relegate yourself to prowling dank bars and swiping endlessly on Tinder.

Knowing where to meet women is one thing, but having the motivation to get out there and mingle is a different skill. If you’re having trouble meeting women, I know someone who can help… me.

At emlovz we teach students the skills they need to carry out our dating philosophy of MegaDating. MegaDating involves dating various women at the same time. Doing so cuts down the time it takes to meet your special person, allows you to compare and contrast women, refines your dating skills, and is just downright fun! 

We teach men the skills they need to meet, court, and find a girlfriend via our four learning pathways:

• Online Curriculum: Self-paced, lifetime access to our online platform that covers every romantic topic and tactic
• Live Weekly Sessions: Led by co-founder Emyli, these sessions address issues students are having on a more nuanced level
• Mock Dates: Put what you’ve learned to use on a practice date either online or in-person with one of our specialists
• Online Community: Community of single men just like you who support one another on their romantic journeys

To get started, book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom Session with me or my co-coaches today so that we can begin to create a dating playbook tailor-made to your romantic goals.

Together we’ll discuss your specific dating goals, create a strategy, and see if my coaching services are right for you. 

If you want to learn more about Dating Decoded and how it has changed the lives of our students just check out what our students have to say about it.