To begin, give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back. Having a woman respond in the affirmative when you ask her out instead of opting for a night of Netflix binging is in fact a worthy achievement. She’s choosing to spend time with you instead of getting intimate with her recliner and having her mind blown by the newest Black Mirror episodes.
That being said, if she’s chosen you instead of Netflix, you better make sure you’ve got an awesome first date prepared. What to do on a first date and how to prepare can be nerve-racking prospects. The best way to prepare is to ask the difficult questions and do your research so that when the time comes you’ve got a plan in place. To start, let’s tackle first date ideas.
First Date Ideas
First dates come with their own set of rules. Before elaborating on the specifics of these rules, let’s first paint a picture. You’ve just used your suave moves to snag the number of a Tinder, Bumble, Hinge match. During your initial conversation you used your humor to win her over. But during these exchanges you couldn’t get a good feel of who she was.
Now you two are set for a first date, yet there are still many question marks surrounding her character. Do you really want to commit to spending various hours and a copious amount of money on a stranger? Perhaps within minutes of meeting each other you two realize that there’s no connection. The point I’m trying to make is that first dates should be brief with little to no money spent.
This logic is informed by my MegaDating philosophy. MegaDating is simply dating prolifically. By dating a large number of women you’ll quickly be able to find the partner that’s right for you. MD sharpens your dating skills, gives you confidence, teaches you not to settle, and will allow you to learn about what type of person you’re attracted to. That being said, there’s no reason to invest time into someone that you don’t have a future with. This is why first dates should never go over an hour and require little to no money. So what does this date look like?
- Eclectic Coffee Shop and Walk
- Chocolate Shops
- Tea Lounges
- Comfortable Lounge for Happy Hour (2 for 1 drinks)
- Cupcake or Ice-cream Shop
- Walk Around a Farmer’s Market
First Date Preparation
Ask gold medal athletes how they prepare for the competition of their lives and they’ll all tell you the same thing: visualization. Michael Phelps will envision himself in the water, pushing off the walls with precision and exercising his game plan to perfection. Imagining the many possibilities that might go down will calm your nerves and prepare you for what’s to come. Imagine meeting her at the park. Do you have a witty joke prepared for when you meet, do you hug her or kiss her on the cheek? Visualizing beforehand works as a practice run. Once it comes time for the real thing you’ll already be acclimated to the environment.
Also be sure to have a plan B. Despite having planned the date out prior, a curveball like severe weather can force you to call an audible. Make sure you have a plausible plan B up your sleeve.
Along with visualization, be prepared to lead the conversation if necessary. I recommend reading the news along with combing through your mental library for a story (personal or not) that’s highly entertaining. The standard first date chitchat centers around the same old topics. Spice that up by broaching an interesting news piece or contentious subject.
What To Do On A First Date: Look Good
Let’s not kid ourselves. First dates are all about impressions. Win her over by throwing on some new pants, ironing that shirt, and wearing your freshest kicks. Look man, we live in a superficial world. Looking your best physically will increase your odds of scoring a second date.
Professional athletes keep to a pretty strict diet. They rely on their diets to give them an edge come game time. To stay mentally prepared for the date make sure you eat a healthy meal that pumps you full of energy. Considering your date will most likely come after a long day of work you’ll want to make sure that you eat food that will give you the mental stamina you need to keep your wits about you.
It doesn’t matter how charming you think you are. A whiff of an unwanted funk can quickly spoil a date. Before meeting your date make sure your body has been cleaned and your teeth brushed. It’s a simple and easy step that can drastically improve the outcome of your date.
Scope Out The Date Location
Have you been to the date location before? Is the vibe right for a first date or do you have to yell in order to order for the person across from you to hear you? Scoping out the location of the first date will get rid of some of those troublesome variables. Should the worst happen and your attempt to sit at the bar, take the walk, or see the show not work out, what’s your plan B? Make sure your backup plan is enjoyable, close to the initial date location, and easily achievable.
Tips for The Actual First Date
What to Do on a First Date MUST: Spend No More Than $10
MegaDating means that your typical week consists of multiple dates. Let’s face it, you’re a dude and that generally means that when it comes to first dates you foot the bill. But do you really want to be dishing out a hefty sum of money on every first date? There will be plenty of time to splurge on someone you care about. But as far as first dates go try to keep your wallet in your pocket. Not spending large on a first date also ensures that she’s going on a second date because she likes you for your personality not your resources.
Keep It Within An Hour
How much money and time are you willing to spend on this person? Considering you’re going out with a complete stranger you probably don’t want to lock yourself into a multi-hour commitment. Should your date turn out to be a weirdo, setting a one-hour time limit ensures that you’ll only be enduring an awkward 60 minutes before making your escape. Don’t ambush her after the clock expires by abruptly announcing your departure. Before the date takes place let it be known that the date will only last about an hour or so.
For example you could say: “Hey Molly, before we dive in I want to let you know that in about 1 hour I have a commitment to catch up with my best friend at dinner. I wanted to be straightforward so it’s not weird later (and smile).” It’s very important not to lie to her. Make sure you set something up beforehand. Women can always tell when a man is lying.
Limiting each first date to an hour in length frees up more time for first dates while safeguarding against spending too much time with a person you don’t care for. If you intend on seeing your date again, truncating a date will create sexual tension and leave plenty of mystery for your second encounter.
Touch Her Three Times
Physical contact is a way to signal your intentions and accelerate a bond. Breaking the imaginary barrier between you and your date is a big step. Create cracks in that imaginary wall early on by touching her multiple times throughout the date.
Kick off the date with a warm hug hello or if the vibe is right, a kiss on the cheek. Whilst on the date, touch her hand or upper back a couple times when the moment is right. There’s no need to force a touch. As much as mid-date touching is good, it’s much more important to steer clear of any awkward pawing.
Keep the touching largely non sexual yet playful. Should a joke arise don’t be afraid to touch her hand or even bump her hips with yours. When it’s time to say goodbye touch her in a way that conveys your feelings for her. If the date hasn’t gone well, a brief hug will do, if you intend on seeing her again make sure to give her a particularly warm embrace as you split ways.
TDL For Second Date
Time, date, location. Hopefully your date is going well. If so you’ll probably want to see this person again. Instead of heeding the advice from your friends and waiting three days to contact her, ask her out while on your date. Don’t simply ask her to grab some food later this week. Clearly define at what time and day you’d like to see her and what activity you’ll be doing.
If you already know enough about your date you can create a second date TDL before the first one even begins. If not, use the information you’ve gleaned about your new romantic interest to create a TDL while on your first date. The specifics of the date can be changed at a later time. The point of the TDL is to demonstrate your intent. A TDL is extra important if she’s thrown off by the brief nature of your first date. Here’s an example:
You: “I’ve had a really good time getting to know you. I’d like to take you out again. In fact, there’s this really cool hiking trail over by the Presidio. I’m going to check it out at 10am this upcoming Saturday. I’d love for you to join me……..(pump your brakes and give her a chance to comment/answer).”
Her: “What am I doing Saturday, hmmm….I don’t have my calendar with me.”
You: “I promise it’ll be super fun and I’ll even bring some snacks and water. I could even pick you up in my Uber on the way over to the trail.”
Her: “That sounds like a lot of fun, I’m in!”
After The First Date
If you’ve provided the right answers to the question, “what to do on a first date”, you should have no problem scoring a second one. Now that you’ve given her a TDL you’ll need to ensure that the second date goes down as planned. Most likely your follow up date is planned for about 5 or so days later. Don’t let five days go by without hearing from her. A couple days before your date, send her a message or two expressing your excitement for the date to come. Don’t let your check-in messages segue into a full-fledged conversation. Save the chatter for the date.
On the day of the date check in again a few hours before you two are supposed to meet just to ascertain that the TDL hasn’t changed. Color each text with a bit of wit and mirth if possible. Never send a bland, “are we still on?” message. Instead, put your excitement on full display. Be the hype man for your own date. Getting her excited will set the tone for the date to come.
Avoid overdoing the messages. She’s already signed on to seeing you again. Don’t let your insecurities show by prodding her with messages that expose your lack of confidence.
Replay The Initial Date In Your Mind
A big no-no is forgetting basic details about your romantic interest. No doubt that certain topics popped up such as diet, hobbies, profession, school, etc. Replay the conversations you two had so that you remember crucial information. Repeating a question you already asked on the first date is a huge turn-off. Avoid this mistake by creating a mental checklist of everything you know about her in your head.
Replaying the date in your mind will also give you plenty of material to expand on in the second date. Was there a funny moment exchange that you two bonded on during the first date? Perhaps you can keep this joke going in order to create a running joke that only you two share.
Are you still asking yourself what to do on a first date with a girl you’re about to meet up with? Ever considered working with a dating coach in order to reach your goals?
I work with dozens of men each week via Skype to help them overcome their roadblocks and crush their dating goals. You could be next. Feel free to book a New Client Skype Session with me today.
During our session, we’ll diagnose your dating history, discuss your upcoming first date and other potential issues, create an action plan, and see if my 3 month coaching program is right for you!