Looking for signs she’s cheating on you?
Infidelity is arguably one of the most painful and damaging things that can occur in a relationship. Because a healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust, honesty, friendship, and intimacy, learning that someone has cheated can destroy a couple’s entire foundation.
If you’re in a relationship and you think she’s cheating on you, that gut instinct is something you shouldn’t ignore. That does NOT mean that she is definitely cheating, but if you sense something is amiss in your relationship, pay attention to certain signs she is cheating on you. Some signs can be pretty obvious, while others are extremely subtle.
But before I get into the signs she’s cheating on you, keep the following in mind:
You Are Not Responsible for Your Partner’s Infidelity
Cheating can crush your self-esteem and leave you wondering what you could have done differently in the relationship to prevent her from stepping out on you. Ultimately, she made a choice to be unfaithful and she needs to take ownership of that choice. Although several issues in a relationship can lead one partner to cheat, cheating is never excusable.
I hope these signs I have listed will provide you with some insight into a cheater’s mind, and hopefully offer some solace if you are currently experiencing a betrayal in your relationship.
Signs She’s Cheating on You #1: She Accuses YOU Of Cheating
This is one of those oft-missed signs of a cheating girlfriend. After all, why would a cheater want to even broach the subject of infidelity? And what right does she have to accuse you of wrongdoing when she’s the one stepping out on the relationship?
Still, being accused of cheating is a telltale sign that you’re being cheated on, and the cheater can be motivated to point fingers for a few reasons:
- She is attempting to throw you off balance in case you accuse her
- She wants to use your potential infidelity as a way to justify her actions if she gets caught
- She is deeply insecure (which I mentioned can be a trait in cheaters)
- She now understands having the capacity to cheat and has become paranoid you would do the same
Sign #2: Overly Affectionate
Another not-so-obvious sign of cheating is a sudden and overwhelming amount of affection from your girlfriend. If your girlfriend suddenly becomes much more interested in sex and being touchy-feely it could be a combination of guilt and an amped up sex drive.
Sign #3: Lack of Affection
Just like being overly affectionate is a sign of cheating, the opposite can also be true.
When your partner becomes cold, distant and unaffectionate, it can be one of the most painful feelings and is often what make people question loyalty. There are several ways that someone can act disconnected in a relationship, from the unintentional to the downright cruel.
She is Feeling Remorse
She may be guilty and depressed over her infidelity. Although no amount of tears or apologies can excuse a betrayal like cheating, someone who shows remorse (often, these are the people who will take it upon themselves to confess to you that they cheated) can at least offer you the apology you deserve and provide some closure.
If you notice your girlfriend has seemed sad and depressed, has been unable to talk to you and become distant, it could be a sign she is cheating on you. She will also likely have a difficult time looking at you when you do interact because of her extreme guilt.
She is Checked Out
Sometimes detachment is not accompanied by any type of anguish. A cheating girlfriend may also be an extremely selfish (or even sociopathic) person. She may either feel inconvenienced by the prospect of leaving the relationship or simply not care to bother themselves with the common decency of breaking up.
Regardless of the scenario, remember that you always deserve honesty and respect. Do not internalize cruel treatment as a reflection of anything wrong with you. People who cheat have issues that are their own and that they should take responsibility for.
Sign She’s Cheating on You #4: Schedule Changes
If she suddenly has been working “long hours” at her job or going out for many more “girls’ nights” than usual, this could be a sign of cheating.
If she is particularly vague about the plans, that can be a sign as well.
Sign #5: She’s Secretive About Technology
She used to leave her phone on the counter for all the world to see but lately, she seems to have an iron grip on her phone and won’t allow you the slightest glimpse.
Or, maybe she’s been spending a lot more time on her phone texting, hitting the “ignore” button on a call with lightning speed (and some thinly veiled anxiety), or taking phone calls in another room…on the opposite side of the house…after locking the door.
If you notice unusual behavior when it comes to her phone, laptop or both, you could have a cheating girlfriend in your life.
Sign #6: She Becomes Extremely Angry and Defensive
If confronted, cheaters will likely become extremely defensive. They may even try to make you feel guilty for your “lack of trust” and you may be the one who ends up apologizing.
In reality, when someone doesn’t have anything to hide, an accusation or question about infidelity should come as a surprise. Their reaction is usually going to be one of confusion and — assuming you have not broached the subject in an angry, abrasive manner — compassion.
Think about how you would feel if someone told you they were worried you were cheating on them. You’d probably feel both surprised and concerned, right? You would want to put their mind at ease, but also find out exactly what led that person to the conclusion that you had been stepping out on the relationship. Making the person feel guilty and turning tables wouldn’t occur because — as an honest person — you would have no motivation to make them feel bad or distract them from the issue.
Signs She’s Cheating on You #7: Her Looks Have Changed
If your girlfriend is suddenly hitting the gym much more frequently, losing weight or has been tending to her appearance a lot more recently (e.g., she’s changing her hair, wearing more expensive or provocative clothing, wearing more makeup etc.), these all could be signs she is cheating on you.
They may be trying to alter their looks in hopes of attracting different men or getting back in shape in preparation for reentering the single world.
Moving on From Betrayal
Breakups are hard no matter what. And when cheating is the cause of a breakup, the pain can be particularly severe. Be sure to reach out to friends and trusted family members when you are dealing with this type of a breakup, and practice self-care.
And when you’re ready to get back into the dating world, I’m here to help. Visit my calendar to book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session. During our session, we can briefly talk about your cheating girlfriend and other past relationships – but more importantly, we’ll devise an action plan in order to help you move on and reach your new dating goals! We’ll also discuss my 3 month coaching program to see if it’s a fit for you!
A key dating strategy I recommend to ALL my clients is MegaDating. MegaDating is a dating process that involves dating multiple people at once in order to diffuse energy and increase your self-confidence.
MegaDating is NOT about sex or secrets. Before you find a partner you want to be exclusive with, you will go on several dates with different women in order to see that there are plenty of fish in the sea, which will keep you from settling for the wrong person and can also alert you to red flags. MegaDating also allows you to practice your dating strategies, which will decrease your anxiety and make you more appealing to women.
I used MegaDating during my 100-date experiment, and the process benefited me immensely. During my research, I found a great long-term partner, and the same can happen for you!