Years ago before my boyfriend and I entered into a serious relationship he was confused as to whether I was playing hard to get or just wanted to be friends. He knew I was finishing up my 100-date experiment (MegaDating), so he couldn’t be certain that the feelings he had for me were mutual. To get to the heart of the matter he decided to forgo the subtle dance of courtship, opting for the jugular instead.
After five months of dating, he sat me down while on a road trip and gave me an ultimatum –either move forward with me or I’m going my separate way. After a day of rumination, I decided the time had come to get serious with him and ditch my dating experiment.
There comes a time in every relationship when the question of labels and feelings need addressing. Once you’ve arrived at this juncture –whether it be after days, weeks, or months or dating- being direct might not be as suave as you’d hoped for, but it will yield answers.
But pushing patience aside and squeezing an answer out of her can throw a wrench in the relationship. If possible, discern her feelings for you without openly asking her to reveal her feelings for yourself. To equip yourself with such perceptive power, let’s analyze when she’s playing hard to get and when she’s already relegated you to the friend zone and is using you as a social and emotional crutch.
Signs She Is Playing Hard To Get #1: She Always Says Yes To Dating You
To be clear, if she’s playing hard to get it means she’s interested. She may not want a boyfriend or a husband right now, but she’s at the very least interested enough in you to want to find out more about you. That is why she’s always responding in the affirmative when you ask her out.
If she didn’t care about you she’d eventually reject or ghost you. Also, if she was just using you for material or social gain she wouldn’t accept all of your dates and certainly not the less than ritzy ones. If you ever want to weed out someone that could be using or stringing you along all you have to do is adhere to my MegaDating strategy also laid out in my webinar.
MegaDating pushes women with mal-intentions away with its dating parameters. On the first date, you’re not allowed to spend more than $10. The second date will you see become even more frugal as you’re forbidden to spend even a dime on your date. These are the bare bones of the strategy. It’s designed so that you’re not investing copious time or money on women you don’t care for. A byproduct of MD is that it discourages gold diggers from sticking around for longer than a single date.
Signs She Is Playing Hard To Get #2: She Talks About Other Guys With You
Classic tough love. She’s talking about other men to get a rise out of you. Have you been slow to accelerate things? It’s nice to be respectful and all but only nuns wanted to be treated like ones. She’s fed up with you playing the nice guy. She’s unsure about how you feel about her so she’s purposefully trying to make you jealous. This is a sign my friend. Read, heed, and respond.
If you’re uncertain of how to get physical, here are a few ways you can start making contact:
- Sensual high five. In other words, transition that high five into a brief handhold.
- Playfully bump her butt with yours.
- Jokingly give her a light push.
- Practice hugging with her. Start by commenting on her or your hugging style. Then try out multiple types of hugs on her, for research purposes of course (winkwink). Perhaps at the end of your research ask her which hug she liked the most.
Signs She’s Playing Hard To Get #3: She’s Responsive To All Texts EVEN If She Takes A Couple Hours To Respond
Texts are easy to brush off. They tug at us from within our pockets for a moment before being beaten back down into the depths of our smartphones. With all the distractions out there it’s easy to spend days without getting back to a friend. This is how it is nowadays. But despite the trend, she decides to buck it with you.
Don’t be discouraged if she takes a few hours to respond. How often have you purposefully waited to respond to an important text? The type of responses matter as well. One or two-word responses obviously don’t indicate interest as much as texts that contain multiple sentences and proper punctuation.
Signs She’s Playing Hard To Get #4: She Opens Up Her Schedule For You On Prime Days
Giving you her Wednesday night week in and week out isn’t saying much. It was either going home to her boring apartment and mindlessly watching The Office for the 27th time or going out with you. Congrats. Not much of a competition, but you won. No one ever has plans on a Wednesday.
Weekends on the other hand is something completely different. Weekends are meant for day-trips, hangin’ with worthy companions, and fun. Most everyone whose anyone cherishes their weekend and isn’t willing to allot weekend time to just any stranger.
Should you be granted the honor of taking her out on a Friday or Saturday night, you’ve made it. Friend-zoned peeps and dudes she’s not serious about aren’t worthy of a Saturday night, but you are. If you’re following the MegaDating blueprint, Saturday night dates should be reserved for third dates. Here are some third date tips to ensure that everything goes according to plan.
Signs She’s Playing Hard To Get #5: She Introduces You To Her Friends & Family
There will never be a more obvious sign that she’s into you. Meeting the parent’s is an honor –or nightmare- that she reserves for only the most important people in her life. Not just any Joe Schmo will be permitted to meet her folks and friends.
Take this as a sign that she wants to keep you around and integrate you into her life. Why introduce you to people you’ll never see again? An introduction to close friends and family is a clearer signal of stern interest than even a smooch. A kiss is something she may be willing to dish out after a few drinks to any number of dudes at the bar. But introducing you to her inner social circle takes time and consideration.
Signs She’s Playing Hard To Get #6: You’ve Traveled Together
If you follow the MegaDating guidelines you’ll take note that first dates last no longer than one hour. This duration isn’t arbitrary. Why would you want to spend an extended period of time with a stranger? One hour is the perfect amount of time needed to ascertain whether or not you care to see the person opposite from you ever again.
The point I’m gradually sidling up to is that we only decide to spend copious amounts of time with people we deeply care about. Think about going away on a weekend vacation. You’d only invite your closest friends. The same applies when a romantic context is considered. Traveling takes a long time, is adventurous, and can be grueling. We only want to travel with people who we can enjoy for hours on end.
Signs She’s Playing Hard To Get #7: She’s Expressed That She Really Likes You
Honestly, once she puts all her cards on the table she’s no longer playing hard to get. This should once and for all put the question, “Is she playing hard to get with me” to bed.
That being said, just because you have confirmation that this relationship isn’t unrequited doesn’t mean she’s ready for an exclusive relationship. Work, timing, or even other dudes could be preventing her from becoming your Facebook official girlfriend. That being said, it’s still a pretty good position to be in.
Signs She’s Stringing You Along #1: She Calls You Dude, Bro, or Man
She can decide to string you along for various reasons. But whatever the reason, she’s doing so because she’s not serious about you. Only a specific type of person would refer to a man she has romantic feelings for as bro, dude, or man.
You should be able to tell early on if she’s this type of person, or if she just doesn’t see you in a romantic light. Calling you by one of the aforementioned names just a few times isn’t concrete evidence that she probably doesn’t like you any more than a friend. She could use it in a joking fashion or in fact call even romantic interests dudes. But if this name-calling becomes prolific, it’s safe to infer that you should get back on Hinge and start commenting.
Signs She’s Stringing You Along #2: She Hasn’t Offered To Pay For The Bill For Any Date
You’ll be able to weed out gold diggers or women just looking for a good meal by MegaDating. But it’s possible that even some weeds pass for flowers. Should her plotting ways go undetected, stay cognizant and think back to if she’s ever attempted to pay for the date. Only start suspecting her if she has yet to pay for a date by the 5th or 6th date.
Signs She’s Stringing You Along #3: She’s Elusive And Doesn’t Include You In Any Group Events
As we noted before, meeting your lady’s inner circle means that she plans on integrating you into the fabric of her life. Keeping you isolated means that you’re some sort of sidepiece that she feels isn’t important enough to meet the most significant characters in her life.
Perhaps she’s only mirroring your actions. Try to have her meet your friends. If she doesn’t want to or doesn’t reciprocate the gesture, she may be stringing you along.
Signs She’s Stringing You Along #4: You Haven’t Kiss Or She Moves Away When You Try
That’s tough. Kissing is a mutual confirmation of feelings. If she keeps kicking it with you but isn’t willing to kiss you, she either isn’t into you sexually or is using you for your social or material connections.
Is She Playing Hard To Get With Me? No, She Just Likes Your Couch #5
Typically when a woman asks to stay at your place, it’s not because she’s a big fan of your memory foam mattress. If she’s sleeping over repeatedly without anything sexual taking place, she probably just hates her commute. She doesn’t deserve certain favors, especially if they’re monetary or bothersome. A favor or two here and there is nice, but all in all they should be reserved for close friends of girlfriends. Make sure the relationship merits that quenching of certain favors.
Signs She’s Stringing You Along #6: She Says She’s “Not That Type Of Girl” But She’s Sexting Someone Else
Take it from a woman. When a girl says that she’s “not that type of girl” what she means is that she’s selective about who she sleeps with. So then tell me, why would she be sexting another man when she’s still yet to sleep with you? Chances are, she’s lying. She’s using you for your dog, Netflix account, couch, money, fame, friends, Instagram, connections, etc.
Still asking yourself, “is she playing hard to get with me”? Let’s find out together when we chat via a 1-on-1 Skype session. When we talk we’ll discuss how to figure out if she’s interested in your or not and create a dating plan that guarantees finding someone that is without a doubt into you. At the conclusion of our session, we’ll discuss my 3 month coaching program to see if it’s a fit for you.