First dates can be pretty awkward, especially when winging it.

From learning how to keep the conversation going with her or how to make her laugh, to figuring out how to end a first date with plans for another one in the near future–it’s always better to be confident and prepared.

In this article, we’re talking about how to end a first date with a girl you’re interested in. It’s one of the most important components of first dates that gets surprisingly little attention, so read on and get some tips on what to do.

Preparing To Say Goodbye: How To End A First Date

As a dating coach with more than 10 years under my belt and the creator of Dating Decoded an online dating program for men, I know a lot about the struggles men face when dating.

One of the issues I saw frequently during my 100-date experiment (read about that here), was a failure to successfully end a first date. I was often in shock at how dramatically my opinion of a guy could change after saying goodbye–even after feeling chemistry with him throughout the date.

The goal here is to make her feel happy and excited to see you again, which can seem a lot harder than it actually is.

If you end things abruptly, or without sufficiently expressing your interest in seeing her again, it can work against you. First impressions are lasting impressions, after all, and your first date with her is one long sweet and sugary first impression that needs to end with a cherry on top. 

That said, preparation really is key. You certainly don’t need to plan every detail of your first date–there is something to be said about spontaneity and sex appeal. But being prepared can help to eliminate first date anxiety and facilitate your progress towards a happy, healthy relationship with her.

There’s a lot more to it than just saying goodbye, especially if you want her to fall for you!

Set Your Second Date In Stone

Before you end the first date, make sure you’ve already made plans for a second one with her. Generally speaking, women love it when a man commits to something. Even when that something is as simple as setting plans for a second date.

We here at emlovz use an acronym called a “TDL” when setting up a second date while on a first date. A TDL stands for the Time, Date, and Location of your next date. So for example, if you’re wrapping up a first date with a girl you like you could say something like this to her:

Do you notice the TDL in the example above? 1pm is the time, Saturday is the day, and the California Academy of Sciences is the location. Try using this technique and you’re sure to improve your second-date conversion rate.

What’s so important about a TDL is that you’re asking her on a date you know she’ll love. So I ask you, what is she into?

You should be able to know enough about her likes and dislikes even before the first date takes place. Gather info from her profile as well as from the brief conversations you’ve had so far.

This is a Tinder profile I just happened upon.

It may not say much but we’ve got enough to work with.

This woman is clearly into classical music and spiritualism. With that in mind, you could most likely pitch a date involving yoga, tarot card reading, meditation, a picnic, seeing a classical music show or anything else in the musical/spiritual vain, and she’d probably be stoked to join in.

While chatting via Tinder ask her about her likes. This is recon you can use to help create an amazing second date TDL, one you can ask at the end of the first date.

Some other second date TDL examples using the profile above might be:

I should say something about second dates.

If you’re following the MegaDating blueprint you’re going on active second dates. Active second dates will get the blood moving, boost sexual tension, and are just super fun.

I mean seriously, would you rather go on yet another coffee date or split a bottle of wine while walking the water’s edge at sunset? And remember to have a date plan before the first date even takes place. If you want, amend your date pitch, but be sure to come prepared.

If you’re at a loss for second-date TDL ideas check out our master list of second-date ideas. 

What Your Competition Does

It’s important to note that a lot of guys keep it casual when asking to see a girl again. They say things like “we should get together again sometime next week”, or “I hope to see you again soon”. Interestingly, while this may seem like “making plans” to you, it comes across as unmotivated or not genuine to women, who would love to hear something more specific.

Ask her out on a specific day, at a specific time, to do something specific. Set the date in stone, or at least make an attempt to do so. Even if her response is noncommittal, you’re earning points for trying. When she gets home, she’ll realize she’s wanted. 

Kiss Her… Or Not

To kiss or not to kiss… that is the question. Should you kiss her at the end of the date, or not? Once again, this has the potential to get awkward–so having a plan is the best way to go.

The thing about the kiss is what it implies.

If you don’t kiss her, it implies that you see her as just a friend. Don’t let your nerves put you in the friend zone, or give the impression that you aren’t interested in her romantically. I recommend that you do kiss her goodbye, HOWEVER it’s best to stick to the cheek.

If you’re MegaDating you’re going on hour-long first dates. Do you really think you’ll be able to have such strong chemistry after an hour? Look, there’s no rush. 

It’s expected that after an hour-long date, you two won’t be madly in love. Diving head first for a kiss may well throw her off. You’ve spent the last hour slowly rubbing flint and steel together trying to make a spark. Now that you have a small flame going the worst thing you can do is tongue wrestler with her.

Take your kiss on the cheek and walk away a happy man.

Get Touchy Feely

Touching a woman is always risky business. 

Touch her too soon and you’re a creep. Too often, creep. Too low, creep. Being a creeper is easy, being suave and gradually putting your foot on the accelerator takes training.

When on a first date I recommend touching about 3 times.

Let’s break these touches down.

The first touch is easy, it’s when you two hug. Hugs are a must when meeting a woman. If you can’t hug her immediately for whatever reason, when the chance presents itself say something like, Oh so rude of me to not properly greet you (then give a hug).

The second touch isn’t as guaranteed.

Here are a few ways to steal a touch during the date:

• Guide her through a doorway
• Gently ‘pull’ her back when at a crosswalk
• Ask for her hands or touch a tattoo/birthmark/scar of hers
• Present her with your hands or body part (in the hopes that she’ll touch you)
• Give her a high five or fist bump (this is the easiest to do)

The last touch should be a departing one.

End the date with a hug or kiss on the cheek.

Pay For The Date

This one is obvious, but it’s a must.

A lot of women will offer to pay for what they consumed (green flag) but insist on paying.

Tell her something like…

You took a chance on going out with a total stranger, so this is my way of saying thank you. 

It’s a great line and it’s truthful. If you asked her out you should pay. She didn’t need to spend her cherished free time with you but she did. She put herself out there, made herself vulnerable, and as such you should say your thanks by paying for the date.

Make Sure It Only Lasts An Hour

If you’re MegaDating you’re doing more than simply dating around – you’re adhering to a blueprint.

This blueprint stresses going on one-hour first dates.

This is a must.

MegaDating means you’re dating prolifically. If that’s the case you don’t want to be spending a ton of cash or time on strangers every time you go out. 

Before the date takes place make it known you only have about an hour to see her. This may seem strange to her and even turn her off. But not to worry. You can keep that flame alive by asking her on a TDL at the end of the doubt. This was address any fear that she isn’t into you.

Don’t Text Her Right After The First Date

Remember how I said before that you want to show intent, commitment, and that you’re into her?

Make sure you do all of that during the date, and then give her space afterward.

Don’t call her or text her right after you’ve gone out, unless it’s to see if she made it home safely. Other than that, avoid texting her completely, if you can help it.

Instead, give her some space to reflect on the date you just had. Texting her immediately afterward lowers your value in her mind.

This is especially important if you did everything right during the date. If you had a great time, you want to leave her feeling happy about seeing you again. Of course, if she texts you, text her back something short, sweet, and to the point. For great tips on texting before your first date, read this article here.

Only text her to:

• Tell her you had a great night and to make sure she got home safe
• Ask her out on a second date

MegaDating

Want to get better at dating?

Sure you do. The best way to improve is to simply do it.

In our program, Dating Decoded we teach men how to MegaDate (i.e. time various women simultaneously). In other words, the best way to improve your dating skills is to practice, practice, practice.

By putting yourself in the same position over and over again you’ll inevitably improve your dating game.

Dating Decoded

Are you ready to date?

Did this article answer all your questions and equip you with the confidence you need to wine and dine your new flame?

To be honest, probably not.

Dating can be rough.

So rough you might want to enlist an expert to help you out.

We’ve designed Dating Decoded to help men decode modern dating. For all your many questions and doubts we have answers and strategies to help you excel at dating.

We teach men the online and IRL skills they need to find a highly compatible long-term partner.

How do we do this?

We have a four-pronged teaching methodology.

Online Curriculum

This is our self-paced curriculum packed with learning modules covering every dating topic from how to send an opening message online that is guaranteed a response to how to have better sex.

We provide you with a roadmap of how to begin and progress a fledgling relationship. With detailed content covering every topic you’ll need to be aware of our online curriculum is more than enough to get you ready for your first date, but that’s not all we offer in our program.

Mock Dates

Before going on your big date you need to practice. You can read our articles, chat with coaches, and watch content, but what you really need is IRL practice.

Our mock dates coaches, Brooke and Audrey are ready to take you out either online or IRL.

Practice what you’ve learned in a safe environment. At the end of your date you’ll receive detailed feedback on what was and was not working.

Live Coaching Calls

Twice a week we hold live sessions so our students can ask questions and talk about dating obstacles. It’s here that we’ll get granular and provide detailed feedback.

We realize that everyone’s dating experience is unique and nuanced. That’s why we hold these live sessions. So we can examine your unique experience and address obstacles.

We also hold a bimonthly Man Cave session (only open to men, not me or my female coaches) where our students come together to talk about their struggles in the dating world. Going it alone stinks. That’s why we provide a supportive and judgment-free environment for guys to come together.

Community

Ever Dating Decoded member has access to our online and IRL community. This is a place where coaches and students come together to chat, strategize, and empathize with one another.

Our students will bond with one another online, find accountability partners, and even make plans to meet up in person.

Our program has helped thousands of men. 

It works, but don’t take my word for it. See how the romantic lives of our students have improved after enrolling in our program. If you’re ready to take the next step and score a date for this Friday, let’s chat via a 1-on-1 Zoom call to learn more about each other and see if you’re the right fit for Dating Decoded.