How to Ask Out a Customer or Vendor Even When They’re Not Expecting It
There’s something about forbidden fruit that makes all men salivate.
And what kind of fruit is more forbidden than that of dating a customer or vendor?
Maybe men love what they can’t have because of the chase, the boost to their ego, or the fact that they just love spitting in the face of convention.
Whatever the case might be you’re here because you want to ask out a customer or vendor (or hell, maybe both).
But being the practical person you are, you realize that the act of asking someone you do business with on a date requires an abundance of tact.
So much tact that you thought you’d consult with the experts before asking her out.
In this article, we’ll teach you how to ask out a customer without being slapped, having a complaint filed against you, and without losing her business.
How to Ask Out a Customer or Vendor
1. Invite Her To Coffee To Discuss Business/Similar industry
There are three steps you must take to ask out a customer or vendor without being rejected and ruining your financial relationship.
The first involves asking them out for the explicit reason of discussing the industry you two are involved in. However, this only works if you’re genuinely interested in picking her brain and talking business. If you ask her out to dinner, suggest paying, and never talk business she’ll consider you sleazy. Your intentions must be purely business and you must stick to them.
If you’re not interested in doing this there is another way to go about asking her out (but more on that later).
You’ll want to ask her out face to face. Doing so shows her that you’re a man of confidence.
It doesn’t matter that it’s only a business meeting, willing to be rejected in person shows that you’ve got balls. Women tend to like men with balls. Asking her out in person also increases the chances that she’ll say yes. It’s easy to reject someone online, but for fear of making things awkward women tend to agree to requests made in person.
This is another reason why you want your intentions to be pure. When put in this situation women often feel vulnerable and as such are easy to manipulate. You’ve probably heard countless stories of women being asked out by men for non-romantic reasons only for them to be hit on the entire time and touched inappropriately.
Show her that you’re not this guy.
One way to show her is to merely ask her out to coffee or a low-key lunch. Make the meeting as least romantic as possible. Stick to the script and talk about business. However, you also want to form more of a personal connection with this person. Try to weave in and out of business and personal life. Keep the tone light and playful.
The dynamic may be determined by your past relationship. Perhaps you’ve known this customer of vendor for some time and are friends at this point. If this is the case, simply ask them out for a friendly lunch instead of a business-oriented cup of joe. Use this lunch to continue forming a closer bond with this person. Ask them probing questions and learn more about who they are in order to determine if you think they’re your type.
2. Pop The Question
Now it’s time to risk it all.
You can of course keep asking this woman out to business lunches, but that’s not really what you want is it?
At some point, you’re going to have to take a risk.
You shouldn’t go into your business meeting with the objective of asking her out at the end. As we’ve noted, it’s vitally important to stick to the script and keep things business-oriented. If you aren’t able to connect with your “date” on a more personal level you may want to consider aborting. Perhaps you’ve learned that this person isn’t right for you, that they’re taken, or that you have little in common. That’s fine. Don’t feel pressured to ask her out. Again, this was never your objective.
On the flip side, if you’re able to read her cues and see that she’s into you, now would be the perfect time to ask her out. So how exactly should you do it?
At the end of the date (or the middle if it makes sense) say something like this: “(Her name), I love how passionate you are about your work. You’re clearly an expert in your field. But I gotta be honest, after getting to know you a little bit, I want to get to know you on a personal level, rather than a professional level.”
After this, it’s crucial that you ask her out using a TDL. TDL stands for time, date, location. Verbatim asking her to “go out in the future” isn’t the same as asking her out on a defined date.
The type of date you ask her on should be informed by your conversation. If she says that she’s into hiking, riding bikes, or is an ice cream connoisseur, ask her on a first date that involves one of these hobbies. Asking her on a first date that involves something she likes will increase the odds that she’ll respond in the affirmative.
3. Try and Touch 3 times
The quickest way to accelerate a relationship is through touch (however it’s also the quickest way to destroy it).
This is because even nonsexual touching floods the brain with oxytocin, otherwise known as the love hormone.
That being said a misguided or misunderstood touch has the ability to burn whatever bridge you had been building.
This is how you touch her without coming off as a straight creep.
Touch one is a hug, handshake, or kiss on the cheek hello depending on your rapport.
The second touch takes place when you lean in to show her something on your phone and while doing so touch her arm or upper back. You can also sprinkle in a few fist or butt bumps if appropriate.
Another trick is to tell her a story while she’s standing next to you or across from you at the table. While telling the ideally humorous story, you’ll want to gesture with your hands all while keeping them within touching distance. The idea here is for her to like your story so much or have empathy for your silly story to the point that she initiates contact and touches your hands.
This is what I like to call offering your hands.
It’s an easy way for her to touch you in a non-risky and nonsexual manner.
The third touch is a handshake, hug, or kiss on the cheek goodbye.
Whatever you do, don’t kiss her on the lips, touch her below the table, touch her lower back, or touch her longer than a second or two. A lingering or misplaced hand may not only nix any romantic aspirations you had but professional ones as well.
Just Be Direct
Not everyone reading this will be up for the theater that the previous steps require.
Some guys won’t want to waste time beating around the bush.
That’s understandable. For these men, there is another way, the direct way.
When you do ask out your customer or vendor on a date, timing is everything. You would never ask them right before a major business meeting involving a copious amount of money changing hands. Doing so might make her think that she has to accept your invitation for fear that rejecting it might make her lose out on your business. Don’t be the guy that leverages his business position to force a woman to go out with him. That’ll get you nowhere.
When the time is right be upfront with her and acknowledge that asking her out could put the both of you in an awkward position. Tell her that you value her as a customer or vendor and would not want to jeopardize that relationship. Tell her that if she in any way feels weird about it she can say no and things won’t be weird. Assure her of this by asking her out in person. Speak slow, use levity, and keep things light.
Tell her that you can really see you two connecting on a personal level but understand that business comes first.
You want to do so in person so that she can read your non-verbal cues. Not only this but imagine asking her out via email and then seeing her in person a week later if she said no? Avoid the dread of having to now see a business partner that rejected you.
That’s why it’s better to ask her out in person.
What’s most important is that you tell her that you think she’s x, y, z (without one of those things being about her appearance) and that you acknowledge that asking out a customer isn’t conventional and that it’s cool if she says no. If you don’t convince her that things will be alright if she rejects you, you may make her so uncomfortable that she refuses to do business with you.
So What Now?
Now it’s time to ask her out.
That is unless you’re not ready.
The “just do it” attitude is a great slogan, but horrible advice if applied to the real world. To achieve your romantic goals you’ll have to work on your romantic skills.
If you feel as though they need a bit of sharpening, consider teaming up with the experts.
Book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom session to learn about how our dating experts can help you solve this issue. Enlisting the help of a dating coach will equip you with the skills needed to woo women.
During your new client session we’ll discuss your situation in high detail, create a strategy, and lastly see if our 3 month coaching or matchmaking programs could be a fit for you.
In 12 private or group sessions (your choice) you’ll learn about MegaDating, how to mine for dates, how to ask a woman out using a TDL, the best first, second, and third date ideas, and much more. Whether it’s coaching or matching, emlovz is here to help you reach your dating and relationship goals. Check out this webinar for more information on how we can help you.