Before you have a public breakdown or confront her in the middle of the street, there’s something you should know.

Humans aren’t monogamous.

Not only are we not monogamous, but shacking up with a single person for the entirety of one’s life is quite unpopular within the animal kingdom.

Of about 5,000 mammals, just 3-5% are monogamous.

Even the songbird — once thought to be a model of monogamy — will steal away in the middle of the night to croon for another.

It isn’t just that not marrying your first love is distinctly non-human, it’s distinctly non-animal.

I say this to placate your rage.

If you learn the woman you’ve been dating is singing to another man, I hope your first reaction isn’t one of rage, but rather an understanding that sleeping around is kind of just what humans do.

That being said, understanding why she has the urge won’t necessarily percent you from feeling like shit, or from wanting to get to the bottom of the matter.

To help you out with the latter, let’s have a look at a few signs she’s having sex with another guy.

Signs She’s Having Sex with Another Guy

Change of Communication Frequency

When you first began dating, you two would ping pong texts back and forth.

You’d crack a joke about the idiot you two saw trying to fill his Tesla up with gas and she’d respond immediately, you’d send her the new HAIM song and she’d promptly shoot back a text of approval.

Invariably she’d hit you back within a couple of hours tops.

But lately, that just isn’t the case.

Sure for the first couple of months, her behavior was consistent. That’s changed as of recent.

You notice that she’s taking quite a bit longer to get back to you. The enthusiasm she showed in getting back to you has faded. Nowadays she’s waiting half a day if not multiple days to respond.

Clearly, something is up. No one changes their behavior so significantly without reason. That reason could be another man, but you can’t be sure. Honestly, she could just be caught in work, she could be learning how to knit and just be super into it, or hey, she could have COVID.

Abruptly not responding as promptly to texts as she had previously is no sure-fire sign that she’s bumping Wednesdays with another man.

If this is bugging you, and you’re currently having sex with her, perhaps it’s time to sit her down in person and ask her if she’s seeing someone else. 

Before you go full-blown Joe Goldberg, YOU need to put out the flame in your head before it turns into a wildfire.

Ask her what’s up. Tell her you’ve noticed that she hasn’t been texting as much and that you were just worried that something changed in her life. Don’t immediately jump down her throat and make it about you. Chances are there’s something outside of your relationship that made her change her habits. Genuinely caring about her will go a long way.

Worry about her before you worry about your penis.

She’s Flakier Than Mica

You know how everyone is always saying, “O, I wish I could (fill in the blank with a habit or hobby) but I just don’t have the time.”

99% of the time that’s BS.

If you really wanted to read more you’d stop watching HBO Max and pick up a book. If you truly cared to learn Spanish you’d do an hour of Duolingo every morning on your commute instead of listening to sports podcasts.

The same goes for your lady.

Look guys, this is definitely one of the most common signs she having sex with another guy.

If she really wanted to see you, she’d prioritize you.

You’d jump the queue, gleefully skipping over her job, kids, friends, bowling league, etc.

Yet for whatever reason, you seem to have dropped a few spots as of recent.

Sure, it’s possible that one reason might be that she’s having sex with another guy. While this might be a sign, you can’t be certain. What is certain is that you’ve dropped a few rungs.

She can officially be placed in the flaky category if she has rejected or deflected your last three overtures to hangout. She can also be placed in the flakey category if she has abruptly canceled any two out of your last three dates.

But just because she’s acting more like the crust of a dry apple pie than the woman you were used to dating doesn’t mean it has to be this way.

What you need to do is find out why she’s flaking.

There are a few reasons why this might be the case.

Firstly, consider your TDL. TDL stands for time, date, location.

Are you offering her accessible and fun TDLs that she can’t help but say yes to? Are these novel date ideas that take place on days when she’s free at times that don’t conflict with other engagements? If she’s consistently turning down fancy Friday night meals it may be because she currently prioritizes her friends over you and Friday night is girls night.

Perhaps you’re always asking her out a week prior to the date. If this is the case, other, possibly better options are likely to arise. She’ll either forget about the date, find something better, or the anticipation surrounding the date will fizzle out. Whatever the case may be, you can guard against this by simply asking her out on a date that takes place no more than 2-3 days away from when you asked her out.

And yes, she may also be flaky because she’s found another man she’d rather spend her time with. However, you won’t know this is the case until you’ve first created better TDLs.

She Constantly Texts Someone While With You

First off, ew.

My clients just about unanimously agree that texting while on a date is their biggest pet peeve.

Look, you’ve spent a ton of time creating an epic date idea and she’s disrespecting that by texting someone.

If you really like the person and want to send a strong signal that you’d appreciate it if she didn’t check her phone, tell her when the date starts that you always silence your phone or turn it off during a date. This should send a clear signal that you won’t stand her checking her phone.

However, if she is texting someone during the date, quell this behavior by directing her attention back to you.

Do so by asking her to play a game with you. That’ll perk her up.

Once she agrees, tell her for the next 90 minutes we’re both going to shut our phones off. Whoever turns it back on first loses.

The loser has to do something clever based on how long you’ve been dating her. This could mean buying the other ice cream, give a kiss on the cheek, etc.

She might just be texting her friend that had a serious breakup and needs help. If that’s the case perhaps give her a pass. But whatever the case may be, she’s prioritizing someone else over you.

Sex Has Come to a Screeching Slowdown

You were having sex 3x a week for 4 months.

Now it’s one excuse after another for the past month.

At first, you thought it was her period, now you’re wondering if it’s you because there’s no way a period could last an entire month. 

If this is your scenario, it’s best to sit her down and ask her directly what’s going on.

“I know this might be a bit awkward, but I’m wondering why we’re not spending any time together in the bedroom like we used to? I really enjoyed that part of our relationship and just want an update to see where your head’s at.”

Then shut your mouth and listen.

If she hasn’t been getting her sexual fix with you, this definitely is one of the major signs she’s having sex with another guy.

You Noticed Something That’s Just Odd

After dating someone for a while, you being to see certain patterns.

Your girlfriend is likely to be no different than the average human.

So noticing certain irregularities shouldn’t be difficult.

You find it queer that there’s a steak in the fridge when she’s a vegetarian or that there’s a Starbucks iced coffee in her car even though she exclusively drinks tea.

These may not be physical signs she is sleeping with someone else, but they are clear signs that her routine is changing.

That being said, noticing that a few things are out of place doesn’t warrant grilling her about her infidelity.

Take stock of the oddities. Remember them, tally them, and ultimately decide whether they are indicative of a serious change in behavior. If they seem to point towards her hanging out with someone else and actively trying to cover it up, ask her about it. Point out what you’ve noticed and ask her if she’s been hanging out with someone else.

When discussing delicate subjects such as sleeping with other people (even when it’s permitted) use tact and never be angry.

Show her through your demeanor that you’re a sensible man who is willing to listen. Hear her out before jumping down her throat.

You Saw a Condom Wrapper In Her Trash Can

Awww snap!

Alright here’s the ultimate of all the signs she’s having sex with another guy. 

But before you confront her – does she have a roommate? Has she not taken out the trash for 2 weeks because she’s been out of town? Did she just start an avant-garde art project involving Magnum condoms and & Fluff?

There could be other reasons as to why there are condoms in her garbage. Consider these possibilities before confronting her.

Be very careful broaching the subject with her – watch your emotions and do not touch or grab her.

Just take a picture of the condom and show it to her.

Keep your mouth shut and wait for her to say something. She’d have to be really smooth not to show some sort of grief via body language. Remember, if you’re not in a committed relationship, then you can’t be TOO MAD unless of course, she’s having sex with you without a condom.

What To Do If She Admits Having Sex With Another Guy

Be cool man, be cool!

Take a breath and follow these steps.

1. Remain Calm and Keep Your Cool

2. Ask Her How Long It’s Been Going On

3. Ask Her If She Is Interested In Continuing Sex with You

4. If yes, have the monogamy/polyamory discussion

5. If no, continue to keep your cool.

If you really like her you’ll need to overcome all objections to convince her you’re her best match. Become the greatest salesman of all time to win her back. Never ever beg or plead her to be with you. Walk away when you feel it’s completely over — and continue MegaDating.

MegaDating

It’s crushing to know that the woman you’re dating started sleeping with another man.

But surely it’d be less crushing if you had another date lined up with a different woman this Friday.

MegaDating will give you something to look forward to. Specifically that something, is another woman, if not women.

This is because MegaDating is all about dating prolifically. Dating multiple women at the same time will hone your dating skills, help you rebound from rejection, and will cut down the time it takes to find a significant partner.

But learning how to date multiple women a week in an already competitive dating environment isn’t easy. To become a dating maven you’ll need to consult the experts.

Team up with yours truly to learn how to mine for dates and go out with amazing women in your area.

In our 12 week coaching program, you’ll learn the ins and outs of MegaDating along with a host of other dating skills.

Book a 1-on-1 New Client Zoom appointment with me or one of my other coaches today so that we can talk about your romantic goals and create a dating blueprint that will help you achieve them.

For men that are too busy to find dates on their own, we also offer matchmaking services.

Our e-recruiter matchmaking team will scour your area for compatible women worthy of your attention. After we’ve trimmed the list down from an initial 500 candidates you’ll be set up on dates with 6-12 matches in the space of about 3-6 months.

In this upcoming year, it’s about time that you invest in your love life. Set up an appointment today to figure out how we can help find you the woman you’ve been yearning for.