Is She Seeing Someone Else?
Is the honeymoon phase over already?
You’ve come to the moment in a fledgling relationship that everyone dreads.
The woman you’ve been dating might be dating another guy?
The question will plague you until answered. What we’re going to do is address that bane of a question and get to the bottom of the issue.
So… is she seeing someone else?
Answering the Question: Is She Seeing Someone Else?
I know what images are rolling around in your head.
You’re picturing yourself and your best buds staking out her house, waiting to see where she goes so you can tail her to her new hubby’s house and catch her in the act.
While this classic snoop scene may seem like a fun idea in your mind, it’s wholeheartedly unnecessary — and creepy AF.
If you’re worried that the woman you’ve been dating is seeing someone else, the quickest and more adult way to find out is to ask her.
Of course, blurting out your suspicions may not be the best way to deal with the situation.
Broach the suspicion the next time you two kick it.
Go on the date with the intention of furthering your relationship. Enjoy yourself, have a laugh, but ultimately pop that question.
At the end of the date, ask her if she’s seeing someone else.
Before popping the question understand why you need an answer. Do you feel uncomfortable with her dating other people? Will knowing help you make a final decision about her? Will her answer force an ultimatum?
Why do you want to know?
Most people feel like they deserve to know the answer if they’re in a traditional monogamous relationship. If the other person has a sexual dalliance, one party is justified in feeling aggrieved. But is that your situation?
Did you two already have the relationship talk and explicitly define what you are?
If not, it might be best to define your relationship instead of broaching the question. It may be better to voice that you’re only interested in seeing her. That you could see as your girlfriend and wonder how she’s feeling about you.
Here’s the thing.
If you inorganically ask her if she’s seeing other people, she may not feel like you’ve earned the right to pry into her personal dating life. Don’t let your vulnerability ruin your nascent relationship.
First revealing your feelings about her is a much bolder and acceptable way to find the answer you’re looking for.
But hey, there are of course other ways to answer the question “Is she is seeing someone else?”
She’s Not Picking Up
Look, there are a million reasons why she isn’t picking up her phone or answering your texts.
Maybe she lost it while fighting off a Karen, maybe it fell in between her car seat and cup holder and she’s waiting for someone with tiny hands to fish it out for her, or maybe, yes just maybe, she’s busy with another dude.
As I mentioned, there are like a million reasons why she’s not answering.
That being said, if she was super into you, she’d be a bit more responsive.
It’s certainly more likely that she responds more punctually to texts sent on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
Because no one ever does anything on those days.
She’s looking for a human connection on those days because she isn’t doing anything worth occupying her time.
But what happens when you shoot her a text on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night?
If she consistently isn’t answering, it means she’s most likely doing something better with her time. Perhaps that just means she’s out with the girls. But, it’s also reasonable to assume that she’s on a date. And as you’re probably aware, you never text another romantic fling while on a date with another woman.
If she consistently doesn’t answer you on these nights, she may be seeing someone else.
What’s She Up To?
Look, people are all too willing to tell the world what they’re up to.
Twitter, IG, Facebook, TikTok — we love providing the world with play by plays of our lives.
Chances are if she’s seeing another dude he may pop up on her SM.
The guy she’s seeing will of course be the one with her arm around her waist in various photos. Also read the comments to see what they’re saying about each other and what other people are commenting about them.
Be careful with this one.
Just because her and another dude are in a few pictures together doesn’t mean she’s seeing him. He could be a friend, cousin, or former fling.
If you two have mutual friends, it may be wise to casually bring up the dude to your shared friend. See what info you can derive when you squeeze your mutual buddy for information.
Also, keep in mind that incessantly stalking her online is not healthy. Don’t make this a habit. Stalking her online early on in the relationship could lead you to do it even more so later on.
Dating Around Is Healthy
For a moment let’s humor the scenario in which she’s dating around.
Unless you two have had an explicit convo that laid down the parameters on the relationship in which you two decide not to date other people, she’s allowed to date other dudes.
You can be annoyed, but she isn’t in the wrong.
In fact, if you two haven’t had this conversation I’d advise assuming that she’s dating around.
Here’s the thing.
If she’s dating around, so should you.
Realize that going on a single date with a woman isn’t a tacit agreement to not date other women.
This isn’t the 50s.
Specifically, I advise my clients to MegaDate. MegaDating is simply the act of dating prolifically.
Dating multiple women a month — if not a week — diffuses energy, increases confidence, enables you to compare and contract women, prevents you from settling, and helps you quickly find a compatible woman.
If you both haven’t mutually agreed to not see other people, then downloading every dating app in the book and hitting up a bowling alley with Stacey from Tinder is kosher.
Don’t deprive yourself of this opportunity just because you may feel a little weird about it. You both have the ability to date other people and are in no way acting morally by flexing that ability.
As crazy as it sounds, dating around will actually improve your relationship with the woman in question. Not only will you become a more savvy dater, but you’ll obsess less over women that cause you anxiety. You’ll have an easier time stepping back and stepping away from a relationship that isn’t working if you’ve already got dates various dates lined up.
Whatever You Do Don’t Be Jealous
Just pondering the question “Is she seeing someone else” can cause an incredible level of internal jealousy.
You’re going to ask yourself why she isn’t head over heels for you.
Look not everything is about you.
The fact — or hunch — that she’s dating around may say more about her than you. She may be in the same place you are, in that she doesn’t know what she’s looking for. The best way to figure out who you’re meant to be with is to try dating a bunch of dudes.
Dating and settling with the first dude you date is like going to DQ for the first time, liking the black and white shake you got and then forever ordering that milkshake any time you get ice cream ever again.
That’s freakin’ ridiculous.
You won’t know if a woman is more compatible than another unless you date around. That’s what she’s doing.
If she ultimately decides to move on, it’s because she and this other guy are simply more compatible.
Are you the guy that becomes jealous of every guy that pops up in the SM feed of the woman you’re dating?
If so, you need to address your jealously.
Addressing your jealously means figuring out your attachment style and MegaDating.
But hey, I realize that dating around can become a pretty scary proposition. You’re more or less comfortable with the woman you’re currently dating.
I get that, but what if that relationship goes sour?
Do you know how to move forward?
Moving Forward When She’s Seeing Someone Else
emlovz was founded in 2012 as a coaching company — created to help hardworking guys reach their dating goals.
When we team up via weekly sessions, you’ll learn the ins and outs of dating in the modern world. You’ll learn how to meet new women both online and IRL, how to create an awesome first, second, and third dates, how to create sexual tension, and most importantly, how to find a woman you can call your girlfriend.
But hey, not every guy has got time to comb through the apps looking for a date this Friday.
For men that are too busy to mine for dates themselves, no worries, we can help you out with that.
Along with coaching, we offer new-age matchmaking services.
Imagine a team of e-recruiters scouring your city — regardless of where you live — in the search for the perfect match. Our team will assess about 1,000 women, qualify 125 of them, interview 50-75, and ultimately choose 15 women that we think you’re compatible with.
So… are you still stressing over this woman that may be seeing someone else?
I didn’t think so.
Let’s get started by chatting via a 1-on-1 Zoom session.