“Why I don’t have a girlfriend?” A common concern from my prospective students.

Look, we have this idea that everything will work out… at least romantically.

Sure you may lose your job or a wildfire may burn down your house, but throughout these hardships, your partner will be by your side to support and encourage.

It’s an adorable fantasy.

But it’s also just that, a fantasy.

The universe isn’t your wingman. 

We all think that everyone is destined to find someone, that’s just not true.

In fact, 35% of Americans ages 25-50 have never married.

Everlasting love just isn’t in the cards for everyone.

If you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, here it is.

I want to scare you into action. 

Nobody ever got what they wanted by standing around and doom-scrolling.

You’re wondering why I don’t have a girlfriend. 

I’m here to tell you why and to show you how to get one.

Now that you’re ready to change your habits and find your boo-thang, let’s get searching.

But first, a little soul searching.

Why I Don’t Have A Girlfriend?

There are a billion reasons why.

Maybe you dress like you’re 13, wear way too many soccer jerseys, or still think asking a woman “to go out sometime” is the right way to ask a woman out.

I don’t know you so I can’t diagnose from this side of the computer screen.

What I can say is that there are five or so common problems I’ve seen in my students that hinder them from finding a girlfriend.

It’s those five roadblocks we’ll identify and address now.

All The Best Women Are Already Taken

Many of my students are in their 30’s and 40’s (although we have many guys in the program who are in their 20’s).

They come to me with the thought that all the best women are already taken.

It’s true that the dating pool is smaller than it was in your 20s.

But to say that all the best women are taken is frankly absurd.

According to Pew Research, 23% of those in the 30-49 age bracket are single. That’s about a quarter of Americans. Are you telling me that within that age bracket and among those millions of women you can’t find a single woman that will make you happy?

If you haven’t been looking, chances are you’d agree.

I’m here to tell you the only way to find out is to date. 

Specifically, you should use MegaDating to find these women.

MegaDating is the emlovz proactive dating philosophy that argues that you should date women simultaneously.

Doing so cuts down the amount of time it takes to find an amazing partner.

By dating new women every week you’re exposing yourself to more women, proving to yourself there’s no reason to settle, refining your dating skills, and becoming aware of the type of women you’re most interested in. 

Not to mention MegaDating is just super fun.

Dating around is the best way to show yourself that there are amazing women out there.

You Think You’re Not Interesting

Why would you ever put yourself out there if you think you’re not good enough.

If you think, wow a cool woman like that would never go for me. 

Quite often when it comes to love we can be our own worst enemy. We reject ourselves before our love interest even has the chance to do so.

You’re not nearly as boring as you think. And honestly, in this situation, your opinion doesn’t really matter.

Her’s does.

Sure some women may think you’re a bit boring, but others will love your personality. Accept this truth and you’ll find the confidence to approach women.

And hey, if you think you’re a little boring, read more, always have something interesting to say, learn a new language, or get a new hobby.

You can change if you want to.

But ultimately realize that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly fine.

You’ve Been Disappointed In The Past And Are Afraid To Get Your Heart Broken Again

Is the past holding you back?

Perhaps your heart’s been shattered into a million pieces. Sure you’ve put it back together but the cracks remain.

I get that.

You may have been scarred from previous relationships, and this is why you don’t have a girlfriend.

You don’t have to get past the scars.

Rather you just need to be open enough to let someone show you that not all women are the same.

It’s okay if you’re not as trusting or free-loving as before. Each relationship will change us. What’s important moving forward is allowing yourself to let others in.

Accept that not every relationship will be perfect. You may see aspects of your previous relationship in your new one. What’s key is giving someone the chance to prove you wrong and to use what you’ve learned in previous relationships to spot red flags.

The more you date the more you’ll see that not everyone is like your ex. 

But the only way to do so is to get back out there.

That’s why I recommend MegaDating.

You’re Really Bad At Asking Her Out

Maybe you just met her at a party or online and you two really hit it off.

So you asked for her number, she obliged, and you shot her a text… this text:

Loved meeting you and learning all about your dinosaur fetish, lol. We should go out sometime!

Solid first message.

You touched on something you two talked about, said you loved meeting her and texted shortly after getting her number. All these are a must when sending off that first message.

But here’s the issue.

You didn’t actually ask her out.

To ask a woman on a date you need to include the time, date, and location (TDL).

A better message would look something like this:

Loved meeting you Jess and learning all about your dinosaur fetish. Would you be up for hitting up Prehistoric Mini-Golf this Sunday at 2?

This my friend is a concrete date request, one she can see and either accept or reject.

Maybe women dig you but you’re horrible at making plans and asking them out.

Use a TDL the next time you ask a woman out.

Your Best Efforts Aren’t Producing

You really have tried to meet women.

You go to bars, have downloaded the apps, and even chat up random women in the elevator.

I love the energy but maybe you just need to refine your technique.

In my program Dating Decoded I teach men how to leverage dating apps and IRL groups to meet compatible women.

We teach how to date efficiently by leveraging social channels full of vivacious single compatible women.

You may think you’re already tapping these social circles, but you could be doing better.

If you’re on dating apps but are struggling to get matches, we can show you how to create an amazing online dating profile, how to chat up women online, how to objection handle to get what you want, and how to pivot from the confines of an app to the real world.

We also teach you how to structure first, second, and third dates so you escalating sexual tension appropriately without being too forward to too passive.

Don’t get discouraged, get smart.

Single women out there want to find amazing men to date. You just need to show them they’re out there.

You’re Just Not Super Social

Not everyone’s up for going to parties all the time or meeting up with multiple women they met online every week.

That’s cool.

If you had to be super social to find a partner the introvert gene would have died off long ago.

You don’t have to be a social butterfly to find a partner, however social habits will make your search easier and more enjoyable.

However, there are some habits I’d recommend introducing into your life.

For example:

• Use dating apps for 10-20 minutes every day
• Make plans in advance for either Friday or Saturday
• Set a reminder on your calendar to text friends to make plans
• Find a weekly social group you can join (use Meetup or Facebook Groups)
• Attend a party or social gathering at least once a month
• Say hello to more strangers
• Turn one acquaintance into a friend

Slowly but surely if you follow the aforementioned advice you’ll turn into a social animal.

All of us can become more social, we just need to invest a little more into our social lives.

Of all the offered advice, I think joining a social group and attending weekly or biweekly meetups is the most important. It’ll help you work those social muscles, make friends, refine your conversational skills, and will help you meet a host of people.

Even if there aren’t a ton of women in your new social group, tap your friends to help you find more women. Tell them you’re single and looking or tell them to invite a lady friend for you the next time you all grab a beer.

You’re Not In Dating Decoded

Actually, I’m half-kidding. But, if you want to learn more techniques on meeting women you’re really excited about, sharing deep compatibilities with these women, and expanding your social circle, then I recommend that you check out my free MasterClass to learn more about my coaching program, Dating Decoded.

In it, I’ll share with you the techniques I learned as I went from dating the wrong partners and living a lonely life to MegaDating and finding an amazing partner that I’m still in love with 10 years later and teaching others to do the same.

I’d love to learn more about your dating goals and see if Dating Decoded is the right fit for you. To take the next step and find a forever romantic partner, book a 1-on-1 Zoom call with me or a member of my team now.