What to Do When There’s “No More People in My Area” on Dating Apps
“There’s no more people in my area!”
Tons of emlovz clients have said this to us over the years when it comes to dating apps. And I honestly don’t doubt it. While dating apps can definitely widen your dating pool in the beginning, the choices aren’t infinite. Eventually, you hit a wall.
But here’s the mistake a lot of people make…
They assume the problem is the dating market itself. They think there aren’t enough single people out there, when the truth is, there just aren’t enough people who meet your criteria.
Now, I know that doesn’t sound comforting. Of course, you need to have standards. You don’t want just a warm body, right? You want to be with someone who you find attractive, who you can get along with, and who you’d be proud to be seen with.
Yet over and over again, people will treat dating apps like it’s some kind of genie in a bottle. They put in all their “wishes” and expect their dream lover to instantly appear in a cloud of smoke.
Here’s the thing. Dating apps can help narrow down your choices. But you have to be super careful about what you consider a dealbreaker. You don’t want your search to eliminate good potential matches because you are being overly picky.
Also, dating is a process. Not every date will be your potential “forever person,” nor should they be. So don’t put tight restrictions on who you’re willing to meet. If you do, you won’t date as much… which means you won’t build your dating skills as much either (or have as much fun).
Finally, you need to put work into this. There are always people in your area. You just have to get educated enough about how dating apps work so you can see them.
If you’re the type who tends to say “there’s no more people in my area,” this article’s for you.
If You Complain “There’s No More People in My Area,” Do These 7 Things
I love it when people come to me with this problem because it’s honestly one of the easiest ones to solve. Follow these tips to turn things around.
1. Update Your Profile
A lot of people use a “set it and forget it” approach to their dating app profiles. They put up their best photos, pore over every word in their bio (or not), and then sit back and not touch it for weeks, months, or even years.
Here’s something you should remember: Every time you update your profile, the algorithms show you again to people who previously swiped left. So, think about it for a second. If you add a scuba photo to your profile, it’s only fitting that the algorithm would show this new photo to women who previously swiped left because maybe that new piece of information is a game-changer for them.
Updating your profiles every week or two keeps your leads fresh, so you’re not running dry or only matching with a few new people as they join the apps. Keep revisiting your profile and make tweaks so that things don’t get stale prematurely.
2. Expand Your Preferences
If your filters are too tight, your pool will be too narrow. So, expand your preferences! Widen the geographic area you’re looking in, and try to eliminate filters.
I know I probably gave you a heart attack with that last one. “How could I possibly use no filters on a dating app?” I can hear you asking.
All I’m saying is, just don’t get overly selective with your filters until you’re able to go on one to two dates a week. In other words, once you can easily find one or two people to go out with on any given week, then you have permission to be picky. But before that? Sorry, no.
By the time you get one to two dates per week, you’ll automatically have to become more selective because you won’t have the time to date all of them regularly. So let the selectivity happen naturally rather than being overly picky off the bat.
If I had been overly picky early on, I would have never met my super-compatible boyfriend. Sometimes, we don’t realize what we want until we see it. It’s also really hard to know exactly what you want before you’ve done much MegaDating, which helps you get clear on which characteristics are truly important to you and which are just “nice to have.”
3. Have a +/- 10 Year Age Range
You may hesitate to do this at first. At first, we all want to tell a dating app exactly what we’re looking for in an ideal world. But in some cases, this doesn’t actually help.
So here’s one important tip if you’re thinking, “there are no more people in my area”: Don’t set your preferences to a tight age range. Instead, widen it to plus or minus 10 years from your age. That maximizes the number of people who will swipe right on you. The more right swipes you get, the higher your ELO score, which makes the algorithm see you as “more valuable.” Once that happens, it shows your profile to more high-quality matches.
Don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean you have to swipe right on people you wouldn’t date. But people older than you will generally swipe right on your profile more than younger ones, especially if they’re over 30. So raising your age range just hacks the algorithm so you get shown to the most competitive matches possible.
4. Message People You’re Slightly Attracted To
Again, don’t get too wrapped up in finding the perfect match right away. Some people who think “there’s no more people in my area” still won’t message the few matches they do see — or if they do, they don’t put in as much effort because they want to save the good messages for the people they’re most attracted to.
Don’t do this. Instead, practice messaging and dating people who you may be on the fence about as a way to gain experience. Get familiar with the idea of MegaDating so you understand how it can help you. In a nutshell, going on dates with people you’re not as attracted to can build your confidence and take away a lot of dating anxiety, making you that much more prepared for “the one.”
I’m not saying you should message people you would never date, though. That will just make the algorithm think you want to see more and more of those types of people. The key is, just don’t be too selective too soon. The MegaDating process will naturally make you super selective if you’re messaging 10 women a day and going on at least one or two dates per week.
5. Reach Out on Social Media
Dating apps are great for finding prospects but let’s be honest – you don’t always match with the person you want. And if you do, they don’t always message back.
So that’s when you take matters into your own hands: Use the dating app to help you find interesting leads, but then reach out to them on social media instead. (No, it’s not creepy. It’s persistent.)
Think about it this way, too: Sometimes people take a break from dating apps because they had a bad experience. Or, they find someone they’re interested in and want to see how things go. But those same people are almost always on social media daily. This means you have a better chance at connecting with people you’re most interested in on social media. Give it a try and you’ll see.
You can find a good percentage of people on social media just by looking for their handle on their dating profiles. Even without that, googling the information you see on a profile is a pretty easy way to find that person on social media and reach out that way.
So for an example, if you’re trying to DM a woman on Instagram, try commenting on her story, as the message will go into their primary message inbox. You may have to become friends first depending on their privacy settings but lots of profiles are public and you can usually send a message even if her profile is private.
6. Attend a Speed Dating Event
One of my biggest tips for anyone who says “there’s no more people in my area” is: Participate in virtual speed dating. You’ll quickly see how many single people there are around you! This guy even goes to far as to say it’s 100% more effective than online dating itself.
Think of speed dating as MegaDating but on steroids. You show up and meet tons of singles back-to-back within an hour or two, talking to each one for just a few minutes only. Then if both of you later indicate you’re interested in each other, you can take things further.
Sure, it might feel a little weird, but it’s also tons of fun — especially if you and a friend do it together. You could meet someone interesting but even if you don’t, you’ll definitely come away with some good stories!
In case you were thinking speed dating was a thing of the past, you can find speed dating events on the League app, as well as through outside companies who specialize in just that. Bottom line, any way to get in front of more potential matches is a plus.
7. Hire a Matchmaker
Depending on how the matchmaker finds their candidates, they may be able to find higher quality women than you are, if you’re only using dating apps and are constrained by a low ELO score. So, consider hiring one (like us) if you find yourself thinking “there’s no more people in my area.” Just be wary of matchmakers who only use their own internal database, though. Your perfect perfect match probably isn’t just sitting there on their list.
Instead at emlovz, we recruit quality matches for you from scratch. We get you in front of the highest quality candidates because we use professional recruiting tools that are less limited than dating apps. Our tools allow us to find candidates who aren’t necessarily on the apps (often, the best choices aren’t because they don’t have to be!).
We also have leverage when reaching out to female candidates.
What does this mean? Well, being approached as a matchmaker is a big ego boost — it stands out because it rarely happens, so women we approach tend to respond much more often than they would if you had tried to compete with the hundreds of messages in their inbox.
When you sign up for the full-service matchmaking program at emlovz, we set you up with 6 or 12 highly compatible matches over a 2-4 month period — but most of the time much sooner. To make this many introductions for you, my team of matchmakers, recruiters, and I source over 250 potential matches for you, qualify 50 of them, interview 15 to 30, and set you up with the 6 or 12 we feel would fit the best into your life.
There’s No More People in My Area: Wrap-Up
It’s common to think there’s no one out there for you when it comes to dating — but it’s also just way too pessimistic. If you find yourself saying this, you probably don’t make yourself visible enough on dating apps or are being overly picky. We all do this, so I’m not criticizing, but if you want to improve the situation, you’ll need to be open to change.
Maybe choose one of the above tips and see how it goes first. It’ll show you the power you have over your dating experience. You’ll also be able to pinpoint exactly what the issue is.
If you still have trouble after that, don’t hesitate to reach out. Book an intro call with me or one of my colleagues today to learn more about our personal coaching and matchmaking services here at emlovz. No matter what your situation, we can take things up a notch and make you more competitive for dates than you’ve ever been… so you’ll never have to think “there’s no more people in my area” again.