Ah, the rules of breaking up with your girlfriend.

Here’s something you already knew — breakups are tough.

So tough you’ve found yourself on Google searching for breakup advice.

Yep, they’re that difficult. 

What makes them even harder is when you’re ending a relationship with someone you genuinely care about — not just breaking up because Ariana Grande is bored.

Be it a romance that turned platonic or a partner that has life goals incompatible with your own, just because you want to break up romantically doesn’t mean you want them out of your life forever.

To make that transition as seamless as possible you’ll want to adhere to a few rules.

In this article we’ll outline the rules of breaking up with your girlfriend that’ll help you transition towards a friendship.

First up the classic dilemma, to break up over the phone or in-person?

7 Rules Of Breaking Up with Your Girlfriend

She Needs To Hear Your Voice

Do you respect this woman?

If you’re hoping to be her friend after the dust settles you better.

Is there any circumstance that would allow you to text, email, or ghost?

Yes, actually.

You’re allowed to not call or talk in-person if you:

• Never met her
• Only went on 1-3 dates
• Are dating a deaf woman

If you don’t have a deep, meaningful, boyfriend-girlfriend connection to this person then you may even be able to get away with ghosting this person. Everyone does it.

In-depth explanations aren’t always needed. Women you never text again after a few dates (should) understand that you two just weren’t compatible or that you weren’t interested. Being that they don’t have a deep connection with you there’s no reason to offer an explanation.

That all changes when we’re talking about a girlfriend. 

This woman deserves an explanation. She’ll feel like utter crap if you text her two lines about how things aren’t working out.

Ending a relationship this way is potentially emotionally damaging.

The most respectful breakup environment is in-person, in a private place (ideally near her apartment).

Why in person and not over the phone?

Talking to someone in person is infinitely more revealing and rich than chatting over the phone.

Your goal here is to make the breakup as painless as possible. The best way to do so is in-person. It’ll be difficult to bring yourself to do so in person but what you go through will be nothing compared to how crappy she’ll feel post-breakup.

Make It A Clean Break

How do you want things to end?

Do you want to put her out of her pain quickly or leave her on life support for weeks as she tries to figure out how your dynamic has changed?

It’s tempting to leave the door open.

You’re struggling to break up with her because you care about her. It’s super tempting to tell her that you want to take a break, need some space, want to be FWB — but do you really want these things?

If you’re serious about breaking up, do so.

Leave no room for misunderstandings.

Use the word breakup and make it clear as day that you two are no longer together.

Use More Tact Than A Priest Reading A Eulogy

You can’t spell carefully without care.

If you care about her you’ll let her down using carefully chosen words.

I recommend using a script when ending your romantic relationship.

Long before you two meet face-to-face know exactly what you’re going to say.

Plot out your explanation point by point.

Avoid placing the blame on her. In fact, when it comes to breaking up less is more.

Tell her the truth without getting too specific.

A line such as… You’re amazing, smart, beautiful, and all these wonderful things. But we’re just not compatible and I don’t see us being together in the long run. I get the feeling you’d agree.

Rip off that bandaid with care.

Be willing to hear her out and explain yourself should she ask.

Just remember never to place the blame on her.

If you’re looking to pivot to a friendship, this is the most crucial aspect of the breakup.

Being kind now will make it a hell of a lot easier to be friends later on. The messier the breakup the less likely it is you’ll be friends in the future.

Know When To End The Conversation

Here’s maybe the most crucial of the rules of breaking up with your girlfriend.

The longer you two talk the more likely it is that you’ll say things you don’t mean to say.

You’ll get into specifics, talk about the good times and the bad, and start listing the ways you’re not compatible.

What you and her need now more than anything is space.

The sooner you leave the quicker she begins the grieving process.

After you’ve ended it, ask her if she has any questions.

Answer her questions and then excuse yourself.

Block Her On SM For Your Own Good

Chances are you’ll have second guesses after the breakup. They won’t last long but they don’t need to. It doesn’t take long to message her on SM hinting that you miss her and want to see her romantically.

Blocking her for a month or so will make messaging her damn difficult.

If you do go this route, be sure to tell her you’ll block her and explain why. Tell her you don’t want to text her something silly in a couple of weeks. Tell her that this breakup will be difficult for you as well.

Let The Dust Settle Before You Ask To Be Friends

In your mind, you two may have been friends for weeks or months.

You’re ready to do all the things you two used to do — just on a more platonic level.

She isn’t.

Asking her to be friends just after you break her heart isn’t fair. Give her time to adjust.

Tell her you’d like to be friends in the future. Reaching out too soon or forcing her to be your friend just after a breakup will confuse her and toy with her emotions.

After 2-3 months have passed, reach out to her and ask if she’d like to hang out platonically.

Reaching out too soon could compromise her healing process.

Her Call If She Wants To Be Friends

The onus is always on the person being rejected whether or not they want to strike up a platonic relationship with the person that snubbed them.

You reaching out too soon will only complicate matters.

If she isn’t interested in having a platonic relationship, fine, move on.

Don’t go texting her after you yourself have had your friendship rejected.

If she isn’t into it it’s because she can’t just be friends. 

Thank her for her honesty and be on your merry way.

Your Next Move?

You’re now single.

You just broke up with your girlfriend.

So what do you do?

Chances are you grieve for a week or two.

Just because you broke up with her doesn’t mean you aren’t saddened by your lack of romance. 

After you’ve glued the bits of your heart back together it’s time to give dating a test drive again.

The best way to do so is by MegaDating.

MegaDating involves dating women simultaneously.

Why do this?

Well, your last relationship didn’t work out, so let’s make damn sure the next one does. MegaDating is the best way to do this.

Why’s that you wonder?

It’s all about trying more flavors before settling on one.

We all have our favorites but we don’t know they’re our favorites without first seeing what else is out there.

How To MegaDate?

Right now your calendar’s looking a little empty.

How do you fill it up with dates?

It all comes down to mining for dates.

There are plenty of ways to strike romantic gold.

Here are just a few social channels you’ll want to tap:

• Dating apps
• Friends of friends
• Parties
• PTA meeting
• Gym
• Yoga
• Co-ed sports teams
• Adult ed courses
• Work
• Instagram and other SM apps

There are a million places to meet women.

Not to mention that with dating apps you’re walking around with a 24/7 singles bar in your pocket.

Now that you know where to meet these women, how do you meet them?

That’s A Lengthy Answer

And one that I can’t provide you with here.

However, I do have an answer to that question and many others posed by singles.

These answers and more can be found in my Dating Decoded coaching program.

Our four-pronged approach (curriculum, mock dates, online community, 2x weekly coaching sessions with yours truly) covers everything there is to know to get you back in the dating saddle to eventually find your forever woman.

To learn more about our program book a 1-on-1 introductory Zoom session. During our chat we’ll cover what the program entails and discuss whether you’re a fit.