How to Tell If She’s Interested Or Just Being Nice In 24 Signs
I have a confession.
I’ve helped hundreds of men improve their dating chops and find girlfriends and wives. But if I were honest, I’m not your best wingman — science is.
And science will tell you that men constantly mistake female friendliness for flirting. That’s right, it turns out that hug is nothing more than a hug and that yes, she’s staring in your eyes, that’s because you’re talking and making eye contact with the speaker is courteous, not necessarily flirtatious.
In this article, I’ll teach you how to tell if she’s interested by giving you concrete examples of behavior that are tell-tale signs she’s interested.
How To Tell If She’s Interested
Let me first point out that taken alone, none of the following is a surefire sign that she’s into you. Rather, the more of the signs that she’s interested in you there are the more likely it is that she is in fact into you.
With that said, let’s get into it.
Cute Like A Bear Sweet Like Krispy Kreme
She uses words like cute and sweet to describe you as opposed to dude, bro, and man.
Women like cute and sweet things, we’ve got a pretty mean sweet tooth when it comes to romance.
She’s Close To You… Literally
When women feel uncomfortable being with a man, we put up barriers.
We’ll fold our arms, create distance by taking a step back, or we’ll literally put something physical in between you and us.
Yet when we’re into you, we’ll do away with those barriers. We’ll get brush up against you, lean in when we talk, and certainly won’t be afraid to make subtle physical contact.
You’re All Alone Just Like She Wants It
This one more so applies to a party atmosphere whether it be in a bar, party, group event.
If she’s feeling you, she’ll want some alone time. She doesn’t want to share the man she’s crushing on with other people — she wants all your attention.
Be aware of subtle signs that she’s trying to take you away from the group. Asking to come to the bar to get a drink, to some a cigarette outside, to take a brief walk, or of course asking you out are all signs that she wants to get you one-on-one for potentially romantic reasons.
She’s Not Just Nice, She’s Super Nice
Again, women are in general nice people. It can be easy to mistake our being nice for being flirty, but there are some signs that are just too obvious to miss.
Some of those include offering to:
— Give you a massage
— Cook for you or teach you how to cook
— Go out of her way to give you a ride
— Injects herself into a project or yours
She Goes Deep
There’s a reason most of us feel at ease talking about the weather when we first meet a stranger. However, if that weather conversation quickly segues into talking about life goals, obstacles, and traumatic experiences, well then you might have an interested woman on your hands.
We’re only ever going to open up to people we feel comfortable with.
If she’s comfortable with you it’s likely that she’s interested in you as well, at least enough to entertain the idea of having a romantic relationship with you.
It’s 3rd Grade All Over Again
She playfully pokes, punches, bumps, and hugs you. She makes any excuse she can to touch you.
Let’s Get Personal
One’s personal space, is, well, personal.
That is unless they invite someone else into that space. She may do so by playfully touching you, inviting you to look at something in her phone, but backing up into you, sitting closer to you than she needs to etc.
Again, if she only executes one of these signs, you can’t be certain that she’s interested in you. However, once she starts stringing them together the bells better start chiming in your flirty-primed brain.
She’s Tells You How She Feels
Moments like these can often be overlooked.
Women very rarely come out and explicitly tell you how they feel. Instead, we’ll say things like, “I’m so glad you’re here” or “There’s no place I’d rather be than at the beach right now.”
Always be alert to what she’s saying. Even something that appears small and innocent might not be.
She Wants To Keep Tabs
This signs a bit more difficult to be cognizant of but there are ways.
She might come out and say, “Oh, I was wondering where you went.” But more often there are subtle ways like her asking friends about you, she checks your SM accounts, or she keeps an eye out for you at social gatherings that she knows you’ll be at.
Energy Levels Are Up
If she’s not stoked to see you, her voice won’t be animated, she won’t shift her body weight around, and she certainly won’t be energetic.
Should the opposite occur, it’s likely that you’re the spark that has animated her.
She’s A Thief
She steals glances at you while you’re not looking. She’s checking out your jawline, lips, and muscles. You know that means she’s into you because you do it to women that you’re attracted to as well.
If she’s the ballsy type she’ll also make eye contact and hold a gaze just a touch longer than she normally would.
Blushing is a part of our fight or flight response.
It happens when someone is embarrassed or their adrenaline is triggered and heart rate accelerates.
So no, blushing doesn’t 100% mean she’s into you. If she drops a glass of wine on the floor and blushes Malbec red it doesn’t mean she’s super-duper into you.
However, if while talking you embarrass her and she blushes that’s at the least a sign that she respects you. We rarely if ever feel embarrassed in front of people we don’t give a damn about.
All About The Digits
Some signs are more in your face than others.
If she asks for your contact into — whether it be SM or phone number — it means she wants to extend the conversation or at the very least keep tabs. There’s something interesting about you that she wants to explore.
She Talks About The Future
But more specifically the future, with you in it.
Perhaps she’ll slyly suggest getting coffee or checking out that hiking trail you were talking about, or going on a taco exploration with you. Be aware of her willingness to inject herself in your life.
If she does subtly offer to hang out with you, jump on the opportunity by making plans then and there by using a TDL.
All About The Hair
The touching of the hair could mean two things depending on how she plays with it.
If she’s touching the ends of her hair it may mean she’s bored.
However, if she’s shifting it around and making a display or touching her hair, it probably means she’s into you.
Make no mistake both women and men do it.
The term was popularized by male PUAs but women are just as guilty as men when it comes to making themselves flamboyant in order to win’s someone’s affection (if not at the very least their attention).
Is she louder, flashier, or more (fill in the blank), than she needs to be? Is this done in an effort to win over your attention?
Ways To Tell If She’s Just Being Nice
There’s a fine line between being nice and being flirty.
You Talk… And Talk
Don’t get me wrong, you’re trying to rope her into a conversation but she’s not having it. She gives one and two words answers hoping you’ll move along. Are you always the person initiating the conversation and dragging it along? If so, maybe it’s time to move on.
Can’t move on? Try MegaDating.
Surface Level Conversation
The more intimate you two get the deeper the conversation becomes.
Sticking to superficial topics means that you two probably aren’t as close as you could be. If your attempts to dig deeper have been repeatedly rebuffed, either ask better questions, wait until you’ve earned her trust, or move on to the next one.
She Brings Up The Boyfriend
Not her current one, but boyfriends from her past.
As far as dating no-gos go, talking about a former flame is up there next to checking your phone and yelling at the waiter.
Casually broaching one’s ex is asking to using beer repellant to keep rabbits away from your carrots.
Either she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she doesn’t care, or she’s actively trying to give you the sign that she’s not into you.
It’s Just A Touch
And nothing more.
It’s just a hug because she doesn’t linger. She shook your hand because it’s the courteous thing to do. And she put her hand on your back to move you away from the server running past you trying to deliver drinks to thirsty patrons.
Sometimes a touch is just a touch, get used to reading between the lines and understanding when it’s more than just friendly.
She Doesn’t Reciprocate The Touch
One of the best ways to flirt is through non-verbal cues (at least that’s what our experts say).
Touch is the best way to quickly form and accelerate a relationship.
It’s also the quickest way to turn someone off.
Gauge her interest by playfully touching her. If she doesn’t reciprocate with a playful touch of her own, don’t progress the touching by placing your hand on her lower back, leg, or face.
She Treats You The Same As Everyone Else
If she was really into you she’d give you special attention.
She’d laugh a bit louder at your jokes, give you a special hug, talk to you more than others, look at all your IG stories, etc.
Of course, she could be playing coy. She could be fearful to show you her cards because she doesn’t know how you feel. This is why it’s on you to make the first move.
You can do this by simply asking her out.
Tell her you think she’s cool and would like to take her to get ice cream this Sunday at 1 p.m. at Jolly’s.
If she’s not into it, fine. Tell her no worries (or that you’re bummed and will try again another time) and keep your head held high.
Consider The Dynamic
Who this person is to you will determine how she acts around you.
If she’s a Tinder date, should things not go well you’d expect all the signs to go your way.
However, if she’s a co-worker you’d expect her to behave a bit more cool towards you.
If she’s a waitress you’d expect her to behave warmly but that doesn’t mean she’s into you, maybe she just wants a good tip.
Context is everything. If you met this person in a professional environment, don’t expect them to rapidly start behaving like she’s into you. That most likely wouldn’t be appropriate.
For women that you currently have a more formal relationship with, give them time to come around to your charm.
Use Eye Glasses To Read The Signs
No, there is no magic potion you can take to suddenly turn you into a ladies man (looking at you Jerry Lewis).
The only way you’ll refine your skills is through practice.
You have to date, date, date, and only then will you be able to read the signs that she’s interested in you and just not being nice.
To help you interpret the signs and teach you how to look for them, enroll in our 3-month coaching program.
In it you’ll learn how to accelerate the bond, how to know if a woman’s interested in you, how to mine dates online, and much more.
To get started book a 1-on-1 Zoom session with myself or a member of my team.
In it, I’ll listen to all your dating woes and goals and we’ll create a personalized dating blueprint that works for you.