In an ideal world, your son from the future would teleport back via a DeLorean and give you all the insider information you need in order to get the girl.
However, not all romantic woes can be solved by following Hollywood’s advice.
If you don’t yet have access to your own Doc Brown you’ll need to make do with a more mundane strategy.
The first step in bursting through the friend zone is to make your feelings known.
In this article, we’ll teach you how to tell her that you want to be more than friends.
How To Tell Her You Want To Be More Than Friends
Be Direct
Good things don’t magically happen.
If they seem that way it’s because you’ve arranged things in just a certain way that all you need is a rogue spark to set things into motion.
Playing it safe got you in the friend zone.
Refusing to take chances will lock you into the friend zone until she goes off and marries the wrong guy.
Start your newfound relationship — the one you really want — by being direct.
Don’t beat around the bush or try and tell her what you think she wants to hear. Express your desires transparently.
You’ve wasted enough time being the platonic best friend. Rip off that Band-Aid by telling her unequivocally how you feel.
So what does that look like?
First off, you’ll want to have the conversation in person.
Face-to-face conversations are always better when you’re dealing with nuanced and possibly emotionally draining conversations. Having a conversation in person versus on the phone or via text is like watching a basketball game on TV versus listening to one on the radio. You’ll miss all the subtleties if you don’t speak to her in person.
Be sure you meet her in a private place where she’ll feel comfortable or in a private and intimate public place.
With that in mind, what do you say to her?
After shooting the shit for a little while here’s how you can transition the conversation and tell her how you really feel about her.
Here’s an example of how you might tell her you want to be more than friends.
“So Jess I wanted to change gears and talk to you about something.
As you have probably guessed I’ve been catching feelings and while I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, I have to honor how I really feel.
That being said, I’d like to pursue a romantic relationship with you/take you on a date.
How do you feel about that?”
Then shut it.
Let that sink in for a moment.
You’ve laid out all your cards, now wait for her to respond.
If she’s into it she’ll probably jump for joy and give you a quick response.
If she’s puzzled and truly didn’t see this coming she might want to talk.
That’s cool.
Just remember to be calm, composed, and regardless of what she says is or isn’t what you want to hear, be respectful.
The worst thing you can do is ruin your chances at a romantic relationship and burn a platonic bridge in a matter of minutes by getting angry and hostile.
No Texting/Calling
The most important things are worth saying twice.
So once again I’ll remind you that texting, calling, or DM-ing your feelings is out of the question.
This is how frightened men act when they’re faced with something scary.
Part of the reason she may not see you as a romantic candidate is because you’re not as manly as she’d like you to be.
Sack up and realize that on the other side of fear is magic.
You’re fearful of talking to her in person because that thing you want so badly to happen might not if you bring it up. And if you do it in person you’ll watch that awesome thing blow up in your face.
Talking to her in person will make her value you more and will make your overture more likely to receive a yes.
It’s easy to reject people online — as evidenced by the legions of men that have been ghosted.
Talking to her in person will increase your chances of the positive outcome you’re yearning for to happen.
Be Prepared For Ecstacy And Heartbreak
What will you do if she says she feels the same way?
What will you do if she says she doesn’t feel the same way?
You’ll want to answer these questions before either of them happens.
Imagine the conversation in your head. Map out the direction you’d like the conversation to go in as well as unexpected twists and turns. Preparing will make you come off smoother, will help you manage emotion, and will give you a plan of action once she responds in the affirmative or negative.
My advice?
Speaking as someone that’s helped literally hundreds of guys score dates, should she say yes, I’d use ask her out.
But not just any date request will do.
You’ll need to use a TDL, which stands for time, date, location.
Your request to go out with her should be concrete. She should be able to imagine the date taking place in her head.
In this way, you give her something tangible that she can either reject or accept.
Not only that, but if you’ve thought about it beforehand you’re likely to create an awesome first date idea.
Let’s say the woman you want to court is super into animals. If that’s the case ask her to the zoo, at 1 o’clock, this Saturday.
MegaDating is a dating strategy that involves dating multiple women simultaneously.
There are a host of benefits to MegaDating:
— Reduces anxiety
— Helps avoids settling
— Increases self-confidence
— Lessens the pain of rejection
— Helps find you more compatible women
— Sharpens dating skills
— It’s just freakin’ fun
If she won’t date you, fine, find someone else that will.
But there’s one last benefit that I didn’t list.
Your friend right now knows that you’re probably not dating around.
When you ask her out she may view your attempt to woo your one female connection as needy and intense.
However, if she sees you dating around she’ll feel like your attempt to court her is more meaningful. She knows you have a shot of women you can go out with, but by eschewing them and choosing her you’ll make her feel like the world is revolving around her.
Plus when you ask her out — after having asked out plenty of women thanks to MD — your delivery will be more natural and more likely to receive the answer you want.
And hey, worst case she says no.
If you’re MegaDating that’s not a big deal.
It’s difficult to be down on yourself when you have multiple dates lined up.
Remember, MegaDating is not about being a slut and sleeping with a ton of women — it’s about diffusing your energy and increasing your confidence.
Escalate Sexual Tension
Let’s map out the next few weeks.
After reading this you may feel invigorated and want to hit her up to tell her how you feel — don’t.
Never ambush her with your affection.
Instead, work on that crescendo by asking her to do a few physical activities first, ideally ones you two don’t normally do together.
Use this time to put your foot on the chemistry accelerator.
Ask her to…
— Go for a run
— Mountain bike
— Hike
— Rock climb
— Play that sport she and you used to play when you were young
The point here is to do something that will get your heart pumping.
Do something new and stimulating together.
Have her begin to associate you with these new heart-pumping activities.
Invite her to do a physical activity where you have to touch frequently. This will stimulate sexual tension.Â
Slowly indicate that you’re interested in her via touch.
Don’t go in for the kiss or anything but slowly start touching her more romantically.
This means hugging her longer and more often, jokingly holding her hand, guiding her through doors, playfully bump her or gently push her, etc.
These subtle changes in behavior will start to make her consider what it would be like to be physical with you.
If she’s never considered it before maybe it’s because you’ve never shown interest.
Introduce Sexual Topics Into Conversation
You can do this easily without being a creep by using the following formula.
1. Ask a harmless question
2. Ask a flirty question
3. Ask a sexy question.
What’s this look like in action?
1. Who was your childhood crush?
2. First kiss?
3. First time you had sex?
Escalating sexual tension through conversation can help her to see you as more than just a friend.
At the very least it will get you two in the habit of talking about semi-uncomfortable things and opening up to each other.
These two acts will both help prepare you for the upcoming talk about how you feel about her.
Time To Put It All Together!
You just read 1,500 words about how to tell her you want to be more than friends.
Does this mean you’re ready to tell her?
Well, only you can answer that question.
If you’re still paralyzed and need that little nudge (and a plan of action) hit me up.
Together we’ll have a 1-on-1 chat via Zoom all about your romantic goals, hurdles, and we’ll create a plan of action that will help you achieve your romantic objectives.
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