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Here’s How to Ask a Waitress Out… But Why You Probably Shouldn’t

Here’s How to Ask a Waitress Out… But Why You Probably Shouldn’t

Don’t shit where you eat. 

It’s age-old advice that you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand the value of.

Don’t date where you eat.



This is also age-old advice, but advice few men follow.

That’s because waitresses have superpowers.

Who knows, maybe it’s that a beautiful woman giving you amazing food triggers something primordial (or kinda sexist) inside that turns guys on. Or maybe it’s just the fact that a woman is paying extra close attention to you.

Whatever the allure is, men love waitresses.

So much so that studies have actually confirmed that something as seemingly innocuous as touching a customer on the shoulder can increase the amount of tips they give.

Female waitresses know this and as such have become expert flirters.

Ever wonder why so many women in the service industry wear low-cut shirts?

Tips.

But maybe I’m being cynical.

Maybe she’s showing you special attention because she genuinely likes you.



In this article, we’ll help you read through the impossible lines between flirting flirting and flirting for tips.

We’ll help you read the signs, figure out how to ask out a waitress, and offer up some alternative ways to meet women.

How To Ask Out A Waitress

Be Direct

It’s easy to chicken out.

To tell her that you two should hang out sometime without actually asking her out.

That’s because telling someone, let’s hang out sometime, is much more likely to receive a positive response than asking her, Want to grab a drink this Friday at 7?

The difference is one is an actual date request and the other isn’t.

If you’re going to ask her out be direct. Tell her you’d like to exchange numbers and go on a date or use a TDL then and there.

A waitress looking to leverage her good looks and charm for financial purposes will flirt and play along with you to a certain extent. Hell, she may even give you her number if it means she’ll score a bigger tip.

That being said, making your actions explicit is the best way to cut through the BS.

Ask Her Out After You’ve Paid

Before you’ve paid she has an incentive to flirt with you and even give you her number. 

Ask her out when the incentive is gone.



After you’ve paid, make your approach. Pull her over to the side and even address the elephant in the room when asking her out.

Say something like, “Look you seem really fun, I think we have a great connection, and I’d like to see you again. Want to exchange numbers and we can go on a date?

Doing so after the check’s been paid will elicit a much more authentic response.

Plus the fact that asking her out mid-service is just weird. Not only does she kinda feel compelled to say yes, but it’s way too forward and will freak her out.

It gives off serious stalker vibes. 

Remember that these women are fully aware that you know where they work. If you give off even slight creeper vibes she’ll fear for her life every time she walks to her car after her shift.

Wait until you’ve paid, then politely ask her out.

Is She Just As Nice With Other Customers?

Some waitresses are just super extroverted flirty people that love meeting new people.

Good for them.

But what’s good for them isn’t always good for you.

Watch her as she interacts with other customers. If she’s just as vivacious and playful around them as she is with you take this as a sign that she’s not 100% into the complex, disparate, and awesome person that you are.



Should could be.

But you might want to invest your eggs in other baskets.

Don’t Write Your Number Down On The Receipt

This is the equivalent of sending your phone number to women on dating apps before they’ve asked for it.

It’s a cop-out.

It’s like asking someone out for lunch only to later inform them it’s a date.

It’s soft.

But most importantly, it doesn’t work.

This is a cliche play. Many shy (or just lazy) men have done this over the years. Your phone number isn’t a gift from god, it’s the contact information from a guy she cracked a couple of jokes with at her place of work.

Not to mention she may not see it or be able to read it as Buck found out.

how to ask out a waitress

How to ask out a waitress requires asking her out face-to-face.

Don’t forget to use direct language when asking her out. Say something like, I want to take you on a date, would you be open to that?



Cute-Ass Notes

A poorly written number on the back of a receipt is likely to be tossed, overlooked, or just rejected.

That all changes if you write her a thought-out note.

How do I know this?

I checked with waitresses.

Here’s a note that worked.

how to ask out a waitress

The waitress (and my good friend) that received the message told me it worked because 1) she genuinely enjoyed the patrons and because 2) the invitation to grab a few seltzers with a female-male pair was straightforward and innocuous.

Here’s an example of a note that didn’t work.

how to ask out a waitress

Hmm, I wonder why this one didn’t work?

1) My friend wasn’t looking for a quick fling 2) you have gorgeous eyes is something she hears every shift and 3) because the guy gave off serious frat-bro vibes.

A thought-out note is a polite, unintrusive, cute note is a lot better than scribbling away your number with zero indication of what you want to happen next.

Why You Shouldn’t Ask Waitresses Out

Her job is to be nice to you.



Her job is to smile, chat with the customer, and make them feel good.

She’s paid money to do this.

She’s even more incentivized because the only way she’ll make a decent living is if customers tip her well.

To earn that bit of extra money all she has to do is touch your arm, be pleasant, and smile occasionally.

It’s near impossible to ever know if she’s genuinely into you or just wants an extra 10%.

It Happens All The Time

Ask any female working in the service industry and they’ll tell you how often they get hit on. They’ll tell you how many men try to touch them, look down their shirts, and of course, ask them out.

Don’t be just another customer that took a liking to the waitress and then make her feel uncomfortable by asking her out.

Plus, if you have any intention of coming back this could make things awkward for both you and her if she says no.

But Who Knows?

Why not shoot your shot?

Look for a ring, ask if she’s single and shoot your shot if you’re interested but don’t use these “hired guns” as they are sometimes called in the PUA community, as a crutch just because they’re nice to you.

They’re paid to be nice to you.

When asking her out just be as respectful as possible and accept a no with grace.



Alternatives To Asking Out The Waitress

Waitresses are plentiful, always ready to stroke your ego, but probably have zero romantic interest in you.

Invest time and money into women who are more likely to show you authentic attraction.

But where can you find these women?

Meetups

Meetups are where those with a shared interest can get together and connect in person.

To be clear, Meetup isn’t a dating app. It’s a social app used for meeting people with similar interests — which makes it the perfect app to use to meet women.

Are you a yogi, hiker, coder, D&D player, meditator, chess player, etc.?

These are all groups on Meetup.

Here’s a list of just a few upcoming Meetups in SF that popped up:

how to ask out a waitress

And hey even if there aren’t a ton of single women in your cycling group, the new friends you’ll make will definitely know women.

Friends Of Friends

You don’t want to waste your time with strangers.

Ask that your friends present you to women they already know and think you’d hit it off with. If they don’t know anyone simply join them at social events they attend such as parties or fixture social events they attend.

Expanding your social circle is the easiest way to meet women. Join your friend at his next professional outing, the next volleyball game he plays, or at weekly game night.

Dating Apps

39% of all new relationships started in 2017 began online according to a Stanford study.



Online dating apps are now by far the most popular way to meet single women.

They’re basically 24/7 singles bars in your pockets sans the loud music that makes having a conversation impossible.

The only trick is knowing how to outperform the billion other men on the apps.

Some estimate there are 9 men to every 1 woman on Tinder and 7 men to every 3 women on Bumble.

Not even Han Solo likes those odds. 

But don’t worry, I know someone that can help you out with that.

Dating Decoded – emlovz

In Dating Decoded we teach men everything they need to know about meeting women.

We teach them how to build and optimize dating profiles, the best first, second, and third date ideas, how to ask a woman out, how to accelerate sexual tension, and yes, even how to ask out a waitress.

Our four pillars are:

  • MegaDating
  • Profile Creation
  • MegaMessaging
  • Dating Blueprint

Our entire program is based around MegaDating, the practice of prolifically dating so as to diffuse energy, refine dating skills, avoid the need to settle, and quickly find a long-term compatible partner.

We teach men these pillars via a four-pronged dating approach:



  • Online Curriculum
  • Mock Dates
  • 2 Weekly Strategy Sessions
  • Online Community

Our hybrid learning model gives you the time and skills you need to learn how to find that significant romantic partner.

Book a 1-on-1 strategy session with me or a member of my team so we can talk about your romantic history as well as how Dating Decoded can help you achieve your romantic goals.

If you’re looking for a best in class coaching program to help you find a long term relationship, you’re in the right place. We look forward to chatting with you.

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