In the 15th century, finding a witch was a fairly simple exercise. 

All one had to do in order to identify a witch was strip her of her heathen clothing and search for a clitoris. Finding the “devil’s teat” on a woman was irrefutable evidence that she was, in fact, a spirit conjuring witch.

This technique of identifying witches was made en vogue via the publication of The Malleus Malefircarum, a treatise on witchcraft published in 1487 by a German clergyman. The book was popular for centuries and is thought to have given rise to female genital mutilation. 

Skip forward a few centuries and the public’s understanding of the clitoris still hadn’t improved very much. In the 1860s in London, women were treated for hysteria and mental illness with the help of a clitoridectomy. 

It took until 1985 to make female genital mutilation illegal in the UK. Despite the law, thousands of women every year are still being genitally mutilated in the UK alone.

The female body has flummoxed both men and women for centuries. But it isn’t that the female body itself is innately confusing. This confusion has less to do with their bodies and more to do with the overall perception of a woman’s role in society. To be even more specific, it has to do with a woman’s role as it relates to her male counterpart. 

Since the genesis of scientific study, there has been a medical research gender gap. Men’s minds and bodies have been preferred to those of women. Men’s bodies have been seen as normative. If this is the case, there’s no real reason to research female bodies. It’s this preferential treatment that has led to the proliferation of myths regarding female sexuality. 

To stop this heavy flow of ignorance, today we’ll address some of the most popular myths surrounding women’s sexuality. 

Female Sexuality Myths

An In-Tact Hymen Is Indicative Of Virginity

Every 13-year-old boy knows that a girl bleeds when she loses her virginity. That when a girl has sex for the first time, her hymen is broken by the penis leading to bleeding. Many a young male lover may feel bamboozled when his Juliet doesn’t bleed during their first time. He feels cheated, she’s confused and sexual ignorance wins again. 

The truth is that an “in-tact” hymen has nothing to do with virginity. Hymens don’t break when a female first has vaginal intercourse. Nor does it magically break off from the body after losing virginity. But even nowadays this myth continues as doctors in Egypt and Oslo are examining the hymen to ascertain whether a woman is still a virgin. 

“Popping the cherry” is thought to be a right of passage in losing one’s virginity. The thought being that since a hymen covers part of the vaginal canal, once a penis enters it must tear, or pop, the hymen. If this were the case then why wouldn’t the insertion of a dildo or a tampon break the hymen prior to losing one’s virginity? 

All the hymen is, is stretchy tissue in the vaginal canal. The stretchiness of the hymen changes over time. For centuries virginity has been defined as the physical changes that take place in the vagina after having sex for the first time. Instead, the gifting of one’s virginity shouldn’t be tied to physical changes in the body but rather a consensual desire to engage in vaginal intercourse.

One way to begin tackling this myth is by changing the language we use when talking about virginity. Virginity shouldn’t be something that a man takes and a woman loses. V-cards aren’t trophies that libertines aspire to hang on the mantelpiece. Virginity should be a consensual act.

It’s something that should be given and not forcibly ripped away from a woman as popular language suggests. We should also be careful not to turn virginity into a palpable thing. Placing virgins on a pedestal leads to devaluing girls and women that aren’t virgins.

Sexual exploration, if done right, should be celebrated, never chastised. 

The Wetter The Hornier

False. 

Just because you’re kissing her and she’s wet, doesn’t mean she’s sexually aroused. We like to think that actions speak louder than words, especially when those actions are involuntary responses. The issue here is that we think we know why women get wet when in reality men and women have been confused for centuries. 

Let’s turn our gaze downwards for a moment. How often would you personally say that being sexually aroused leads to an erection? Is it fair to say that every time you get an erection you’re sexually aroused? A study outlined in Emily Nagoski’s seminal book, Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life found that there is only overlap between erection and sexual arousal about 50% of the time.

The same researchers tried to prove that vaginal moisture equated to sexual arousal, but had their hypothesis vehemently disproven. 

In this study, women were placed in a tranquil room, alone, and were hooked up to a vaginal photoplethysmograph. All this tongue twister of a device does is measure genital blood flow.

The participants were also equipped with a dial to subjectively rate how turned on they were. The female participants were asked to watch a variety of porn movies. Researchers found that there was about a 10% overlap between reported arousal and the amount of blood flowing to the vagina. This is called, “arousal noconcordance.”

These findings were popularized by scientist Meredith Chivers. Her studies on sexual nonconcordance have been peer-reviewed, re-created and published in the NYT a decade ago. Despite these new findings being public knowledge for a decade we still believe that if she’s wet, she’s ready to have sex. Now we know this isn’t the case.

On that point, it’s important to note that you should always have a handy bottle of water-based lube nearby when having sex. It doesn’t matter if she’s super wet or if she’s not a virgin -lubricant is a must. Water-based lubricant is advisable because it’s not super viscous and won’t make you feel any slimier than you need to be.

It’s All About The Vagina

What is the vagina exactly?

To most men that have ever ejaculated into a woman, the vagina is the entirety of the female genital area. Within the vagina, you’ll find the vulva, the clitoris, labia minora, and all that other hot stuff. In reality, this isn’t the case.

When you say, vagina, what you probably mean is the vulva. The vagina is only the part that receives the penis during intercourse, allows for the flow of menstrual liquids, and is the passageway a newborn takes at birth. The rest of the “vagina” is really the vulva. You can kind of think of it this way.

The vagina is the inside of a woman’s genital area whereas the vulva is the external part of the female genitals. If you’re having a tough time visualizing the differences, read this, or have a look around the next time you and your romantic partner have sex.

When we talk about the vulva we’re talking about the:

• Clitoris
• Inner labia
• Outer labia
• Vaginal opening
• Urethral opening

Knowing what is what and how each part of the female anatomy works will enable us to more easily debunk myths that have been around since the first female orgasm… speaking of which.

Women Just Need Vaginal Penetration To Orgasm

When it comes to the female orgasm, men are pretty clueless. We tend to receive our sex-ed from porn and equally clueless peers. We think that as long as we have long penises that pound away for more than a few minutes our lady companions are sure to have orgasms. But it’s not that easy.

Ya see, women are suffering a gender gap. No, I’m not talking about the gap in pay, but rather the gender orgasm gap. In a 2016 study that examined over 52,000 heterosexual men, it found that 95% of the time men orgasm while having sex. Women on the other hand orgasm just 65% of the time.

Laurie Mintz, the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters says the main reason for this disparity is, “The number-one reason for the orgasm gap — and it’s not the only one — is our cultural ignorance of the clitoris.”

A 2017 study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy surveyed women and found that 37% absolutely need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Just 18% of these women said they can climax solely via vaginal penetration. More than 1,000 women between the ages of 18 and 94 were surveyed for this study which is one of the largest of its kind. 36% of these women reported that while they don’t need clit stimulation to orgasm, it does enhance the experience.

High numbers of women surveyed also reported that “spending time to build-up arousal, having a partner who knows what I like, and emotional intimacy” all increased the chances of having an orgasm.

Fellas, it’s time to wake up. Women aren’t having nearly as much fun in the sack as we are. And while I don’t have any studies to back up my claim, I would bet that bringing your lady to orgasm increases the chances that she sees you again.

Common sense alone should be enough to convince you that the more the woman you’re having sex with enjoys herself in bed, the more likely it is that she’ll continue to date you.

But what do you do if you don’t know how to pleasure her clit? No worries, we’ve got you covered.

Clitoral stimulation comes much later in the courting phase. Before that, you need to download Tinder, go on a first date, make physical contact, MegaDate, and so much more.

Sure this sounds like a lot, but you don’t have to go it alone. Instead of wading through the murky water of the dating pool solo, book a class with a dating coach and learn the skills you need to find a worthy partner.

Book a 1-on-1 Skype session now to create a unique dating plan that will equip you with dating skills and will see you meet dozens of eligible singles. To expedite the time it takes to find a romantic companion, sign up for my 3-month Signature Program. With this program, you’ll learn comprehensive dating skills, overcome your fear of dating, and find the girlfriend you’ve been dreaming of.