I imagine this is what many men tell themselves when they start a new fling with someone many moons younger or older than themselves.
This phrase is like a logical heirloom single men use to justify dating a woman 10+ years their junior.
But if you interviewed them after a few dates, months, or years would they still use this platitude to justify the relationship?
Some might, but as studies show, they’re outliers.
Despite the difficulties that arise from dating someone that only understands 20% of your references, age gap relationships do exist.
As many as 8% of marriages in the Western world have an age gap of 10 or more years.
But just because they work for some people doesn’t mean every single male should make like DiCaprio and refuse to date women over the age of 25.
This is the question we’ve been asking ourselves for the longest time — but should we?
When you ask your buddy if you should be dating a 25-year-old what are you really asking him?
Perhaps you’re asking if it’s socially acceptable to do so.
Studies show that sizeable age gaps in romantic relationships receive considerable public backlash.
But hey, love is love, right?
Who cares what your friends have to say about it as long as you’re happy that’s what matters right?
That’s the question you should be more concerned with.
The best indicator of romantic happiness, in the long run, is how compatible two people are.
The question you should be asking is, how much do you two have in common?
Although “opposites attract” is catchy — and has rented space in our shared consciousness for far too long — it’s false, at least according to psychologists.
An overwhelming body of scientific evidence points towards the fact that we’re — generally speaking — more attracted to those that have shared interests, values, and traits.
Researchers posit a few reasons for this including consensual validation, cognitive evaluation, the certainty of being liked, more enjoyable social interactions, and self-expansion opportunities.
Every year between the two of you is a wedge driving you apart.
It’s another year of values, TV shows, books, music, and experiences that are vastly different and that ultimately culminate in creating two distinct humans.
With that said, is there an age gap too wide to bridge?
You might disagree and you’d be right to do so.
You’d quickly point out that there are dozens of age gap relationships that have worked out.
Off the top of your head, you might say Emmanuel Macron and his wife/former teacher who’s 25 years his senior. You can also add Clooney-Amal, Lively-Reynolds, Jay-Z-Beyonce, and Chopra-Jonas to that list.
But for every age gap Hollywood that has worked out there are dozens that haven’t.
Sure there are exceptions but more often than not we see that relationships with gaps of 10+ years don’t last.
If you wanted a magic number there it is; 10.
Anecdotal evidence aside there are few studies that will back up the claim that the wider the age gap is the more beneficial it is for a relationship.
However there’s an abundance of evidence that points to the contrary, none perhaps more convincing than a 2015 Emory study.
The study examined the romantic relationships of more than 3,000 people.
They ultimately found that the greater the age gap the more likely it was that the relationship comes to an end.
Researchers found that:
— Couples with a 5-year age gap are 18% more likely to split than an equal-age couple.
— Couples with a 10-year age gap are 39% more likely to break up
— Relationships with a 20-year age gap have a 95% chance of splitting up.
So which relationships were the most likely to last?
The study found that couples with an age gap of just one year had only a 3% chance of ending in divorce.
Why is that exactly?
To help illustrate why this number is so magical let’s first go back in time.
Imagine you could go back 10 years and date your ex.
Except you my friend wouldn’t change a bit.
You’d still be the 30 or 40-year-old guy you are today.
At first you might be stoked to date a smoking 20-something again. But after a while something would happen. You’d realize that you two are at different points in your life. She’s just starting her career and loves going out every Friday whereas you’re content both professionally and socially. She’s impetuous, wild, and loves Tik Tok whereas you’re still a FB user.
Whenever you’re dating someone from a different generation there will be, well, generational differences.
Shows, music, apps, personalities, hobbies, and reference points won’t align. You two just don’t have enough in common.
She sends Snaps whereas you prefer to call, she’s super into organic and gluten whereas you think an apple’s an apple, she’s broke and bouncing from job to job and you’re a homeowner with no intention of leaving your job or city anytime soon.
The wider the age gap, the age gap in relationships the more differences you’ll have.
Period.
As you can see from the study above, 10 years isn’t an arbitrary number. The success rate of a relationship of an age gap wider than 10 years is significantly less than one under 10 years.
But of course, there are always exceptions and reasons to date someone younger than yourself.
As I mentioned before 8% of all marriages in the West are age gap relationships.
What I failed to mention is that nearly all of those involve older men marrying younger women. Just 1% of marriages in Western countries involve an older woman marrying a man 10+ younger.
You probably know by now that women tend to prefer older men – to an extent of course.
According to work done by 538 the average age difference for a heterosexual couple in the states is 2.3 years.
That average age gap in a relationship changes as we grow older.
For whatever reason, the older we get the less we care about how old our partner is.
That makes sense.
Consider when you were 22 what it would be like dating an 18-year-old.
But dating a 3-year-old when you’re 34 wouldn’t be weird at all would it?
What about dating a 20-year-old when you’re 30 versus dating a 30-year-old when you’re 40?
The more youthful we are the more our personalities are highlighted by our youth. After we’ve hit those major milestones it becomes easier to form a romantic relationship with those 10 years younger (if male) and 10 years older (if a woman).
If you’re an older guy thinking that it’d be weird dating a woman 10 years younger than yourself, I totally hear you.
But some women couldn’t feel more comfortable dating a seasoned man.
Here are some reasons real women gave when Men’s Health asked them why they liked dating their significantly older partner:
— Age matter less with time
— They have nothing in common (and she says that’s a good thing)
— She feels safe, comfortable, and secure with him
— Money ain’t no thang (no.1 reason why most relationships end… not this one)
— Less drama
Don’t doubt yourself.
Younger women are willing to date you, you just need to figure out what you’re looking for.
Let’s quickly recap.
However, there are exceptions.
So what do you do with this information?
Well, get clear on your romantic goals.
Your decision to date that 22-year-old that’s in her last year of college depends on what you’re looking for.
Statistically speaking the relationship is bound to end, and fast.
If you’re interested in a fun summer fling full of late-night dancing, fireball, and yes, pillow fights, then you might want to date that youngin’.
On the flip side if you’re looking for someone to settle down with, share a home together, and start a family with you’re better off dating someone from your same generation.
The best way to find out what you’re looking for and if a relationship with a younger partner would work is to, well, date them.
MegaDating is the dating philosophy we here at emlovz have created and champion.
It involves dating multiple women at the same time.
We show men how to do this and advise them to date women simultaneously for a few reasons:
— Teaches men who they’re interested in
— Improves dating/social skills
— Helps men avoid settling for a partner who isn’t compatible
— Boosts self-confidence
— Is just super freakin’ fun
You won’t know if a younger woman is right for you until you ask her out on a dope first date.
When you MegaDate you’ll be able to find women of all ages.
When comparing these two types of women, be sure to set dates up with women that are of substantially different ages within a short period of time.
Date someone your age on Tuesday while dating a woman 8 years younger on Thursday.
Experiment, record, and analyze your experiences.
But above all enjoy the journey.
Realize that each woman is unique and although there are bound to be differences due to one’s age, go into each date with an open mind.
Leave the stereotypes at the door.
But of course, if these younger women you date continue to perpetuate these stereotypes then perhaps it’s best to keep that door closed.
