If love-bombing and ghosting had a baby it’d be mosting.
As if inundating someone with love-dovey messages prematurely or never responding to texts after a date wasn’t bad enough.
Mosting combines the worst aspects of these two dating trends.
Mosting is when you come on super strong only to subsequently ghost a new flame.
As more and more toxic dating behavior goes unchecked these trends will continue to prop up. This is especially the case just after the pandemic as we’re still adjusting to being normal again.
In this article we’ll unpack the psychology of mosting and offer tips on how to identify the behavior and avoid people that display it.
What Is Mosting In Dating?
Mosting is like ghosting, but ten times worse.
More often then not ghosting takes place early on in a relationship, maybe after a date or two, or perhaps after only a few messages have been exchanged on a dating app.
Ghosts rarely if ever shower the person they’re ghosting with affection before absconding. In fact, if you look hard enough you might even be able to see the signs that you’re about to be ghosted.
This isn’t the case with mosting.
Mosters give you their everything.
They send flowers, ask you out every Friday, tell you how amazing you are, and fantasize about future plans.
Then, without warning, they throw a white bedsheet over their head and run away, never to be heard from again.
It’s a scary story, and one that’s happened to too many men.
The main difference between ghosting and mosting is the steady stream of affection and love bombing, the moster offers before severing communication.
That’s what makes this act so much worse.
Ghosters rarely cover up their feelings and lead you into believing they’re in love with you. A moster will inundate you with so many romantic gestures you won’t be able to imagine they feel any other kind of way.
They lead you to believe you’ve found one you can introduce to the family, that’s as into you as you are them (if not more), yet all of a sudden they ghost you.
That’s what makes this kind of person so damn awful.
Why Do People Most?
There are any number of reasons she might decide to most you.
Let’s go over a few.
1) She Loves Manipulating
She loves being in control. More than she’ll ever love another man, she thrives off the feeling of playing you like a puppet. This may stem from a history of being dupped herself. Regardless this is one of the most popular reasons she flexes her love muscles before leaving you in the dust.
2) She’s Scared Of How Much She Likes You
She may genuinely dig you.
But she’s scared of just how much she’s into you. Rarely has she found someone that occupies her mind 24/7. She realizes that her infatuation is unhealthy.
Instead of cooling things off a bit or telling you how scared she is about this rush of emotions, she quits you cold turkey.
3) She Can’t Be Attached… To Anyone
She loves the feeling of being loved, but is terrified of being rejected.
People with unhealthy attachment styles can’t be held down. Some refuse to shack up with any single man for too long. She doesn’t want to get too close to you then have her life come crashing down when you inevitably break up with her.
That’s why she love bombs you at the beginning of the relationship, then runs away before you have the chance to reject her.
Attachment styles develop during childhood but manifest in adult relationships. She most likely behaves this way due to childhood trauma including the push-pull style of affection she experienced from her parents growing up.
How To Identify Mosting Behavior
If you’ve ever been love-bombed or ghosted it should be pretty easy to discern mosting behavior.
What is mosting in dating often looks like excess followed by the complete opposite.
One or two of the following behaviors isn’t a clear indication you’ll be mosted. However, if she’s displayed a few of these behaviors you’ll know that something bad is about to happen.
- Texting everyday
- Wanted to introduce you to parents immediately
- Trying to plan vacations together
- Buying you presents
- Acting like your girlfriend prematurely
- Not talking to you for long periods of time
- Swings between intense emotions and radio silence
I’d like to focus for a moment on ghosting.
Sometimes ghosting isn’t ghosting.
Sometimes people are just too busy to respond.
If the woman you’re dating hasn’t responded in a little while, here’s what you do.
Let’s say she hasn’t responded in a day.
Fine.
Don’t fret.
Your prior dynamic should make you feel at ease. She’s always responded to previous messages, has always accepted your date invitations, don’t panic.
If two days pass, and she still hasn’t responded to a message that you thought would produce a prompt response it’s time to shoot her a message, but not just any message will do.
Use a TDL.
TDL stands for time, date, location.
The reason she may not have responded to you is that your text simply wasn’t worth responding to.
Maybe you sent a meme, made a sub-par joke, or responded to something she sent.
Demand a response from her by offering a high-value text, in other words, a TDL.
This is the only way to properly ask a woman out.
A TDL in action looks like this:
Hey Jen! Let’s go bowling at Bowlmor this Thursday at 8. You down to make it interesting?
Ask her out on a concrete date. One that includes a fun activity, a set time, date, and location.
The previous date invitation includes all the concrete information she needs to both get excited and accept or decline the date.
When crafting a TDL keep in mind the dating blueprint.
Also be sure to ask her out on a date that’s fun, that you know she’ll be into, and that is easy enough for her to say yes to. A date that requires her to drive 45 minutes and exert a lot of energy on a Thursday is a plan she’s likely to decline.
Make it so fun and easy for her to say yes that she doesn’t have another choice.
How To Dodge Daggers
The only way to avoid or quickly identify mosters is to date a lot of them.
The best way to do so is with MegaDating.
MegaDating is emlovz’s dating philosophy.
It informs everything we teach in our program, Dating Decoded.
MegaDating involves dating multiple women at the same time.
It means dating Stacy on Tuesday, Beth on Friday, and Victoria on Sunday.
But why date so many women?
A few reasons:
- It’s fun
- Helps avoid settling
- Refines dating skills
- Helps identify unhealthy personalities
But most importantly, proactively dating means that you’re not waiting around to find a compatible partner. Instead, you’re taking action and cutting down the time it takes to find someone super compatible.
It’s a shortcut to romantic happiness.
But how exactly does it work?
Online Dating Skills
In 2017, 39% of all new relationships started online.
Online dating is the way to go.
It’s easy, fun, and is a 24/7 option.
It can be done on your couch, while in traffic, or at work.
By far it’s the easiest way to get your flirt on.
All this convenience makes it the most effective way to meet women nowadays.
But online dating is more competitive than getting into Harvard.
That’s because 9 in 10 Tinder users are male along with 7 in 10 Bumble users.
With online dating being so competitive, you’re going to have to create a bomb profile in order to stand out. Luckily, a large chunk of our coaching program is dedicated to turning your profile into a top performer.
We’ll help you choose the best photos, create an amazing bio, and prompt responses.
In this way you’ll stand out and will start to rack up matches.
But matches are nice and all, but if you’re not interacting with these women what’s the point?
MegaMessaging
The average inbox of a female online dating user is polluted with “hey” messages.
That’s because most guys don’t know what to message a new match.
Well, that or they don’t care to put the time into crafting a unique opening message. The thing is, it doesn’t take a whole lot.
Simply respond to something she wrote about in her profile.
I.e. ask her a question about something she cares about. Ideally, that question will be about a mutual interest that you two can bond over and then leverage to ask her out with a TDL.
In our program, we’ll teach men how to chat it up online and steer a conversation towards a first date.
Dating Blueprint
After you’ve scored some matches and have some digits, it’s time to go out with these women.
But how in the world can you responsibly date multiple women at once without breaking the bank or using up all your free time?
We’ll show you how to use our three-date blueprint to have fun, affordable, and fast dates.
We teach you how to have stimulating dates that quickly build bonds and assess whether or not she’s worth spending more time with.
But all this takes practice.
Practice that you’ll only have once you enroll in our program, Dating Decoded.
Book a 1-on-1 Zoom call so we can talk about your dating history, goals, and determine if Dating Decoded is a fit for you.