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What is a Twin Flame and How Can You Find One?

What is a Twin Flame and How Can You Find One?

What is a twin flame? According to Elephant Journal, the term “twin flame” refers to a relationship that is “the division of a single flame (or soul) into two different souls.” Finding your twin flame has been described as finding someone who is the ultimate reflection of you—a mirror image of your own soul. Many people describe their partner or spouse as their “better half,” but your twin flame is your other half — a person you can truly and unequivocally see yourself in.

Twin flame connections are often romantic. Many people who have crossed paths with their twin flame describe it as a transcendent experience. Experts believe that twin flame relationships can be some of the most profound events in one’s life. Meeting that person is like getting a jet-pack of emotional and spiritual growth and self-discovery all in a single moment. The experience wakes you up. The caveat? You only have one twin flame and you don’t always cross paths with them during the course of a lifetime.

If that sounds like a major bummer, allow me to put your upset at ease. You don’t need to actually meet a twin flame to find and enjoy a satisfying and committed relationship. In fact, as connected as you reportedly would be to a twin flame, this doesn’t mean that this person would be — or should be — the person you end up in a long-term relationship with or married to. A twin flame can be a partner for life or a pit stop on the road to complete self-actualization.



In this article, I’m going to break down everything you need to know about twin flames, including the difference between a twin flame and a soulmate, how to know if you’ve found a twin flame, how to be more open to finding a twin flame, and how putting the right practices in place to finding twin flame love can help you in your dating life and overall self-esteem.

Twin Flame vs Soul Mate

twin flame

You may feel like the two terms are interchangeable, but there are actually some integral differences between a soulmate and a twin flame.

A Soulmate is Someone Who…

  • You can meet various times throughout your life. People typically don’t have one soulmate, but several soulmates.
  • Can be romantic or platonic. A romantic partner could be a soulmate, but so could a great friend, a mentor or a family member.
  • A person whom you may briefly encounter, spend a significant amount of months or years with, or spend the rest of your life with.

A Twin Flame is Someone Who…

  • Awakens within you a deep sense of purpose, one which can be used to serve the world
  • Raises your vibration to a higher plane of consciousness and possibility
  • Unveils burdens and baggage you’ve been carrying
  • Is a person whose presence will bring you to a higher state of consciousness and guide you to a place of greater fulfillment

Despite these differences, it is easy to confuse a twin flame with a soulmate because of certain similarities that have to do with a profound connectedness. With both a soulmate and a twin flame you may:

  • Experience a feeling of déjà vu upon meeting, or feel that you may have known this person in a past life
  • Feel like “destiny” or “fate” when you form a bond with this person

Moreover, your twin flame can also be a soulmate, but the connection will be much more complex and purposeful. Let’s delve deeper, shall we?

Complications With a Twin Flame

twin flame

The idea of meeting the person that can “complete you” may spur thoughts of roses, bunnies, rainbows, and basically pure unadulterated joy wrapped up in ribbons made of licorice and (if you’re a meat eater) bacon. But surprisingly, an introduction to a twin flame isn’t almost met with elation.

You may meet a twin flame at the seemingly “wrong time” but this is actually a way of growing, learning and letting go of baggage, according to theory.

The deepness and familiarity of connecting with a twin flame can be at a level of intensity that can be overwhelming — terrifying, even. If the timing is not right for you or your twin flame (i.e., one of you has just gotten out of or are still in a relationship, you don’t feel emotionally ready for a relationship, etc.), it is common for you to enter into a chaser-and-runner relationship where one is pursuing the relationship more heavily, despite the fact that you both feel a deep emotional connection.

Twin flames may date, break up, get back together years later, break up again and so on. This is not by accident.

A push-pull relationship with a twin flame is intended to enlighten you. The difficulties you have with this person will force you to reflect on the issues you haven’t dealt with and cause you to learn and grow.



NOW, as a disclaimer, I feel like I should note that if there is a girl you have found yourself infatuated with and she has given you a clear “NO” when it comes to dating, be sure that you respect that. Don’t take the information in this article and assume that people you’ve had a wishy-washy romantic relationship with or have been rejected by could be your twin flame in waiting.

It’s possible they are. But regardless, do not continually pursue someone who turns you down or breaks up with you. According to the philosophy that goes along with this type of cosmic relationship, one person rejecting the other does not mean they won’t end up back in each other’s lives. You can’t change when is the right or wrong time for both of you to enter into a relationship, however, which is why it’s important to practice the next steps in order to be successful.

How to Find Your Twin Flame & Twin Flame Love

A twin flame is said to be that type of great love that hits you like a lightning bolt and leads you to a oneness with someone that seems to only be reserved for movie plotlines.

Whether or not you are of a mindset that believes in the cosmic power of the universe, how you feel about spirituality, or if you find yourself skeptical over the concept of twin flames, soulmates and the like…the following steps are designed to help you in your romantic life and improve your overall self-esteem regardless.

I feel like the concept of a twin flame is one that we can all relate to, regardless of what we believe in. We want to love and be loved, and we want to have a partner in life that makes us feel happy and whole — and vice versa. So how do you go about readying yourself for that moment when you meet your twin flame love?

Step #1: Love Yourself First

twin flame

It may seem hackneyed, but hey, some cliches become cliches for a reason!

We all have baggage that develops over the years and self-esteem issues are extremely common. If you suffer from a lack of confidence, you may feel alone in those feelings. But know that most of us feel insecure and have a low self-image at some point in our lives, and many people have struggled with things like anxiety and depression. The important thing is to acknowledge this and know that it is an issue to be fixed, but there is nothing “wrong” with you. 

You can find more insight into why feeling worthy can help you attract women here.

Step #2: Balance Your Mind and Body

A part of feeling good about yourself and being open to the right romantic partner involves connecting your mind and body. Holistic practices like meditation and yoga have become mainstream in our society due to the many mental and physical health benefits that come with both.

Regular exercise is also a great way to not only improve your physical health and reduce your mortality but to increase your confidence and keep you in the present moment. Exercise causes the brain to release feel-good hormones known as endorphins that decrease anxiety and catalyze a general sense of well-being.

Step #3: Megadate

If you’re constantly pining over the idea of “the one,” that type of rumination ends up becoming extremely counterproductive. Fixating on one person — or the idea of one person — can actually prevent you from meeting people and getting yourself to a place where you are ready to find a healthy, fulfilling relationship.



One of the best ways to meet the right partner for you is through megadating. Megadating is a dating strategy that involves dating several people at the same time in order to diffuse your energy and increase self-confidence.

Moreover, megadating will keep you in the present moment and prevent you from ruminating over whether or not you’re going to find “the one” because you’ll see that there really are a lot of fish in the sea.

By keeping your social calendar full and giving yourself the opportunity to put yourself out there with several different types of people, you will become naturally more appealing to women and avoid settling from the mediocre.

During my 100-date experiment, I used megadating to find a compatible long-term partner. You can, too!

Step #4: Don’t Fall for False Twin Flames

twin flame

Because the early stages of a twin flame can be marked by overwhelming feelings — and even some challenge — it can be easy to falsely label a person as your twin flame.

Here are some key differences between twin flames and false twin flames.

Twin Flames…

  • Increase your energy
  • Are mutually attracted and connected to you
  • Allow you to completely be yourself
  • Help you shed your issues, even if doing so is difficult
  • Leave you with a sense of certainty
  • Feel like home to you
  • Inspire each other

False Twin Flames…

  • Drain you of energy
  • May not be interested in you or be wishy-washy with their interest
  • Leave you feeling like you can’t totally be yourself or try to change you
  • Decrease your self-esteem
  • Make you feel uncertain about the relationship and yourself
  • Can seem to be on a totally different page than you
  • Could be threatened by your success

One thing that can make it confusing to differentiate twin flames from false twin flames is the aforementioned runner and chaser phase that can sometimes accompany twin flame connections. The important thing to remember is that this running and chasing is due to each twin flame being in a place where they have not resolved individual issues, e.g.:

  • The runner is feeling overwhelmed or confused by the intensity of meeting someone who feels like a reflection of themselves; they may also feel unworthy of the connection or being loved in general.
  • The chaser has issues of loneliness and abandonment they have not healed from.

But the important thing is that there is always a mutual connection, respect, and honesty between twin flames even when they come up against these types of challenges. And they usually will end up coming back together at some point. Think about how many people you know that are in long-term relationships or married. Have any of them broke up and got back together? Maybe you and other mutual friends were actually there for the breakup and, in hindsight, you notice that there could have been a runner and chaser phase happening.



A temporary breakup between twin flames always confound people, because they are the couple that seems so completely in sync and just sort of “go together.”

Conversely, someone who is a false twin flame often leaves you feeling hurt in a different way — one that is draining and can also lack respect. If someone rejects you or leaves the relationship out of a lack of interest or because you didn’t have enough in common, they are not your twin flame.

It’s also important to note that there is a specific and dangerous type of person that can lure someone in by falsely representing themselves as a twin flame or soulmate. This person is known as a sociopath.

A woman who is a sociopath will lie about who they are and reflect back to you what they think you want to see them as at the beginning of a relationship. They use manipulative tactics to get what they want out of you before turning on you. The initial charm of a sociopath inevitably fades and is replaced by lying, cheating and other forms of abuse.

Concerned you may know or be dating a sociopath woman? Check out 10 ways to know if you’re dealing with a sociopath here.

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