When it comes to love, relationships, and of course, sex, no one has all the answers.
But, it’s fair to say that some people have better answers than others.
Your buddy that advises you to neg the crap out of a woman you just met on Bumble until she agrees to go out with you doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
Ya know who does?
Top relationship experts that have more higher education degrees than a raw-dogger has STDs.
If you want to become better at dating you have to listen to people that have answers that are more right than wrong.
So who are these people?
Who Are These Top Relationship Experts?
Esther Perel – Psychotherapist, Author, Podcaster
You know someone’s worth listening to when they have a TED talk… also when they’re a psychotherapist, author, podcaster, and relationship consultant to Oprah.
While cheating is easy to condemn, Perel is more interested in understanding why it happened and what to do next. She argues that the context must always be taken into consideration.
In her book, she explains why one of her clients cheated on her husband.
The wife worked a tireless job and came home every night to a husband that was emotionally and physically distant. He rarely if ever showed her affection and as such, she felt neglected.
Craving the affection that all humans need she sought to fill this emotional void by starting a relationship with a co-worker that valued and cherished her.
After understanding the nuance of the situation she asks who is really in the wrong.
But Esther isn’t only an expert in infidelity.
One of the most impactful quotes she shares about how we think about relationships is:
“We expect one person to give us what once an entire village used to provide, and we live twice as long.”
She harps on this idea that one person cannot be everything.
A lover cannot be a dominatrix, a tennis partner, a parent, friend, birthday planner, shoulder to cry on, The Office binger, etc.
No one person can be everything for you.
Following, reading, and listening to Esther will change the way you think about romance.
And of course, if it changes your thinking, it’ll change your behavior as well.
You are what you eat.
And if you’re consuming Esther Perel you’re one of the most open and woke men around.
If you’re new to Esther here’s how you can get to know her:
Fisher’s an anthropologist with a soft spot for evolution and how our brain has evolved to love.
We’ve cited Fisher countless times in our articles.
We’ve done so because she is one of the few people that understand what’s happening in the brain while we’re in love. She’s the one that confirmed scientifically that love really is a drug.
While researching the effects of love on the brain she put 32 students — 17 who were in love and 15 who had just been dumped — through an MRI brain scanner.
What she found was that the sexiest region of the brain, called the ventral tegmental area, was highly active.
The VTA is responsible for the brain’s reward system. It handles matters of motivation, focus, and desire. It’s this same region of the brain that lights up when someone does a bump of cocaine.
While knowing what’s happening in the brain will help impress your super nerdy Hinge date, what’s really important is helping you fall in love.
Fisher can help with this.
She’s always doing research that attempts to help humans understand why they fall in love and how love affects them.
It’s true that you can’t hire Fisher as a dating coach — though you can hire us — but you can soak up her wisdom by reading up:
After soliciting suggestions from fans he finally decided on defining Santorum as, “the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.”
If that doesn’t at least warrant a follow on Twitter I don’t know what does.
But along with being a king Troll, Savage has been bucking traditional relationship trends for decades now.
Like Perel, Dan also has a pretty contrarian viewpoint when it comes to things like infidelity.
Dan says that if you’re in a 40-50 year relationship with a romantic partner and only cheat a few times, you’re actually good at being monogamous.
This is because he’d argue that monogamy is freakin’ weird.
Not only is it unnatural, but it’s something society has only recently required heterosexual men to observe.
Following Dan’s column and listening to his podcast will give you the unique perspective you need to find someone you give a damn about. Notice how I didn’t say “the one.” According to Savage, soul mates are as whimsical an idea as Disney.
Jia Jiang spent a little time on a recent Zoom call with the founder of emlovz.
So we couldn’t hesitate listing him as a top relationship expert — based on the fact that he knows how to take a slap to the face; in fact, he welcomes it.
That’s because for 100 days straight he sought out to get rejected.
There’s a massive orgasm disparity, so much so that in a 2015 study of college students in their sexual prime researchers found that 91% of the time men reported usually or always having an orgasm during sex. Women on the other hand reported doing so just 39% of the time.
A study that asked 3,000 partnered men and women how often they had sex, researchers found that men orgasmed 85% of the time while women came just 63% of the time.
Talk To Someone That Knows What The Hell They’re Talking About
Now it’s time to read up man!
If you want to become a better partner, dater, bachelor, and overall human, you should start flirting with these romance thought leaders.
But these gurus of love aren’t the only people that know what they’re talking about.
The coaches at emlovz are not only thought leaders within the romantic community, but unlike like aforementioned, you can actually speak with them and have a meaningful dialogue that will improve your love life.
If you want actionable steps, a support community, and dating coaches to guide you through the romantic landscape, well then hit us up at emlovz.
Book a 1-on-1 Zoom session and tell us all about your goals, woes, and desires. You’ll strategize with your coach and learn about our 3 month coaching and making programs.
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