Should I Post Pictures of My Kids on My Dating App Profile?
The question of whether or not you should use pictures of your kids in dating apps can be a hot button for some people. I actually haven’t been that surprised to see how many people have such strong things to say about it. A quick Google search returns some pretty heated advice against it — from “thou shalt not!” to “it’s absolutely insane.” Obviously, safety concerns are the biggest reason not to do it. However, one survey found that over 70% of single dads on Tinder do include photos of their kids on their profile.
So if you’re considering using a photo of your kid on a dating app, then the real question becomes, how will a photo of your kid affect your profile? Should you be using pictures of your kids in dating apps if you’re looking for a casual relationship? What about if you’re looking for a serious relationship?
The answer can be either yes or no, depending on what you are looking for. Photos of your kids will land differently with different audiences. You just need to get clear on what you’re looking for, and then tailor your profile accordingly.
Want to Know What the Majority of Women Think About Posting Pictures of Your Kids on Dating Apps?
I polled hundreds of women on TikTok to see what they thought about posting photos of kids on dating profiles and compiled what they had to say into the video training below.
In it, you’ll see why the women have such strong opinions about posting your kids’ photos on your profile and a ton of helpful examples for how to tastefully post pictures of you and your kids without violating their privacy. Watch it now:
Since we’re all pretty familiar with the reasons why you wouldn’t want to post pictures of your kids in dating apps, here’s a look at some reasons why you might want to.
How Using Pictures of Your Kids in Dating Apps Can Help You
As long as you’re being authentic, using pictures of your kids in dating apps can definitely work for you. Here’s a few ways why:
It Paints You in a Good Light
If you’re a dad, women want to see that you’re a good dad. This is especially true if the women looking at your profile are interested in long-term relationships. What type of dad you are reflects on your character, which she’s probably scrutinizing pretty hard if she’s looking for a serious partner.
Showing pictures of your kids in dating apps gives the impression that you are actively involved with them. To a woman looking for something serious, you’ll come across as caring, well-rounded, sensitive, and perhaps more real than guys who mention their kids but show only photos of themselves alone or in activities with other friends.
If you hide the fact that you have kids, it will make some women think you’re a bad dad. Of course, most likely that’s not true, but first impressions count. Women want men who consider their kids their biggest accomplishment. They don’t want a man who is embarrassed to be a father.
Making a big deal about fatherhood on your profile (by including photos with your kids) also makes it clear that you’re not the type of guy to run away from responsibility. This is a huge plus for women who are looking for serious relationships. It’s a surefire way to prove, in an instant, that you know how to commit to someone.
Finally, the fact that you’re actively raising a child shows that you’re likely past any egocentric tendencies. For that reason, she might assume you’re better at relationships.
Women Who Don’t Like Kids Will Be Turned Off
Even though showing photos of yourself and your kids on your profile can make you more attractive to women looking for serious relationships, the ones who are still not interested in kids will probably not pursue you. Consider this a good thing, since nobody has time to waste!
Hiding or downplaying the fact that you have kids makes it easier for women who are “iffy” on kids to just pretend that yours don’t exist. You may even start dating someone who really doesn’t like kids a whole lot, but thinks she can “tolerate” you being a dad since your initial impression was that they are tucked away in some unseen compartment in your life.
Again, it all depends on what YOU want — if you don’t want a serious relationship, then how she feels about kids doesn’t matter, and you may as well keep their photos off your apps so you attract more women. But if you do want a relationship with someone who you’d eventually expect to meet your kids and become a part of their lives, then you might want to weed out anyone who’s on the fence about that.
Plus, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, keep in mind that using pictures of your kids in dating apps will likely strongly attract women who want kids of their own. Maybe it seems counterintuitive. However, including your kids’ photos shows that you’re already a great dad. You know, the type of dad they’d want for their kids.
So, you may find yourself with responses from women who already have kids and want more (bonus: they might tend to be younger). Alternatively, you might attract women who have never had kids but want them, and are racing against the ol’ biological clock. Whether or not you actually want more kids yourself is obviously up to you. Just realize that using your kids’ photos will be a strong attractor for these types of women, if you do.
Casual Relationships Might Even Be Easier
As I said before, different types of women will interpret a profile with kids’ photos differently. And just like women who want something long-term might find it attractive, women who want casual relationships might be attracted to you too — just for a different reason.
I’d argue that adding pictures of your kids in dating apps, even when you’re only dating casually, can also be a helpful way to demonstrate why you might NOT be looking for marriage or anything serious. For example, if I see that a guy has kids, I know right away that he’s got a backstory. In that situation, if I’m hoping to find someone who just wants to casually date, I might choose to assume that he has less time for dating (read: getting too deeply involved in my life) and would be happy with getting together once in a while to do fun things.
If that sounds unrealistic to you, consider this. Even if more women want long-term relationships than casual ones, putting your kids’ photos up could still signal to those genuine casual daters that you have other priorities in your life. Therefore, you’re less likely to become a stage 5 clinger or have an anxious attachment style.
It Helps You Avoid an Awkward Conversation Later
Here’s a question for you: What if you casually date a woman, and then end up liking her? How do you bring up your kids when she never asked or saw them on a dating app?
This might be a good reason to use photos with you and your kids regardless of your dating goal. It’s always good to lead with total transparency. If you show up authentically in your romantic life, it gives everyone else the opportunity to choose whether or not to pursue you or move forward with you.
How to Post Pictures of Your Kids in Dating Apps
So, now we know that there are good reasons to include photos of your kids on your profile. But how do you do it exactly? Here are some tips.
- Choose a photo with both you and your kids in it. You being in the photo is what gives you the “good dad” cred.
- Make sure everyone in the photo looks happy (i.e., you’re smiling). Never use a photo where anyone in it looks sad or unhappy. It’ll imply that you’re not happy being a dad, or that your kids aren’t happy with you.
- Bonus points if you can find a photo where you’re doing an activity together.
- Don’t use photos where your ex is clearly cut out. You don’t want women thinking about your ex’s involvement in your life, and wondering if you have baby mama drama.
- Use recent photos so the women know roughly how old your kids are. Don’t upload a photo with you and your kids from a long time ago. Imagine if you posted a photo of you with your child as an infant. If your kid is really 5 now, the woman might think you bailed on your ex right when she gave birth to your child! That wouldn’t be a good omen for a future girlfriend! She doesn’t want you to leave her too.
- For privacy, aim for photos where you’re not showing your kids faces (try taking photos from behind or from farther away).
- Lastly, don’t lead with the kid photo. People might interpret that as you “using” your child to look more appealing. Just include it somewhere in the mix.
Using Pictures of Your Kids in Dating Apps: Wrap-Up
I’m not saying that posting pictures of your kids on dating apps is for everyone. Many men are comfortable with it, but you might not be. Just know the number one factor when it comes to connecting with a quality woman is being your true authentic self.
Whether you decide to share details of your life as a father immediately on your dating profile, sometime in the future, or never, you will attract the right woman as long as you’re not playing games.
Jumping Back into Dating & Need Support?
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