The average woman spends 3 seconds looking at a profile before swiping.

I think that’s bollocks.

Or maybe I’m just getting median and average mixed up again.

The median time a woman spends looking at a profile is probably one second, however the average time she spends is longer than the median because every once in a while she comes across a profile like this one and can’t help but devour the entire profile.

The point I’m taking my sweet-ass time to make is that there are literally tens of thousands of other guys on Bumble. If you don’t show her something worth swiping right on — and fast — she’ll swipe on over to the next guy.

Being that Bumble is one of the least superficial apps around, its users care more than the average dating app user does about the content of one’s profile.

They might take an extra second or two to read how you responded to the prompt. “My 3rd grade teacher described me as…”

With that said let’s examine some of the best responses from one of Bumble’s most popular prompts.

My 3rd Grade Teacher Described Me As

There are a billion different ways to answer this prompt.

How you decide to answer doesn’t matter as much as what you accomplish.

Your main goal is to humanize yourself.

Right now you’ve been reduced to your romantic resume (if that).

With just a few photos and prompts you’re supposed to convince her that you’re a human just like she is. Not only this but that you’re one that’s worth dating.

Going from stranger to “guy I’m not dating” is a tough transition, but one you can make possible by writing a prompt that illustrates your personality.

Let’s see what that looks like.

1) Wait… What?

Most people write cliche one or two-word answers like, “smart” or “trouble-maker.”

The user above however went a completely different direction.

This my friend is what I call the curveball answer.

She’s expecting one thing but then gets something completely different.

Talk about kissing isn’t uncommon on dating apps, what is uncommon is to claim that your 3rd-grade teacher described you as “a good kisser.” Not only does this answer allow you to boast about your kissing abilities but it puts your humor on full display.

Does it matter if you fudged the truth?

Nope.

What matters is that you made her giggle and that you humanized yourself.

2) That’s Kinda Normal I Guess

This Bumble response shows that even the tiniest word choices can have a huge impact.

The user above could have written “passionate about dinosaurs” but that response has no edge.

Using the word “fetish” changes everything. It turns something innocent into an unhealthy obsession making it infinitely more interesting.

This is a reminder that in such answers, every word matters.

Treat these prompts like poetry. With such limited real estate, the power of each word is magnified.

3) Versatile Indeed

It doesn’t matter if your teacher would have described you as a mix between Ed, Edd, and Eddy when you were growing up, what matters is how she sees you.

Quickly give her an impression of who you are by choosing three people who you’d be proud to emulate.

Maybe even throw in one oddball choice like the user above so your comparison doesn’t appear as an undisguised boast.

I like that the answer above has a second line that acknowledges the range of personalities. Whenever possible feel free to use every bit of real estate the prompt offers. Being that you have such a limited space to present yourself you’ll want to make good use of every character.

Just make sure and do some “spell check” before publishing your prompt answer.

4) Sounds About Right

I love that the user here gives us a clear image of what they were up to in third grade.

You can see pretty clearly staring into the abyss as they went about their business.

Love the fact that we can see the imagery, but I don’t love what we’re looking at.

Always try to shine a positive or playful light on who you are. Again it doesn’t matter if the answers are truthful or not (who remembers what our 3rd-grade teachers actually said about us anyways) what matters is that your true character shines through.

I do however love the beginning of this prompt… “an aspiring”

Feel free to steal it and use it as you deem fit.

5) Life-Changing

This is a message that no doubt will resonate with a lot of people.

We’ve all had our issues in school at one time or another or felt bad about receiving a grade. Even though this response may seem minor, it’s revealing. While you can expect most of these answers to be fun and fanciful feel free to include any quality advice or life-changing descriptions you received as a young student.

Feel free to really elaborate on those life-changing experiences.

6) Little Tough Guy

Probably not the most appropriate way to describe an 8-year-old.

True or not, it’s clear that this message is broadcasting a couple of things.

By name-dropping Hemingway, the message attempts to attract not just all Hemingway readers, but all of the literary0minded.

Secondly, it’s making a clear comparison to Hemingway. For ladies in search of a manly man with a heart, this is your guy.

Ernest Hemingway isn’t the type of reference that will catch everyone’s eye — and that’s fine, in fact it’s better than fine.

You don’t want to catch the attention of every single Bumble user on the app. You only want compatible women to waltz your way.

It’s for that reason that you should use keywords and be as polarizing as possible.

7) Now That’s An Image

Not every 8-year-old kid acts his or her age.

Some just have an air of maturity or an air of “I just purchased my first home and max edout my company’s 401k.”

Here’s another case of showing her who exactly you are.

You were mature beyond your years, thought about the future, and made damn sure people knew exactly who you were.

8) Great Association

Let her digest that comment for a second.

Maybe it means you have a scar on your forehead, or that you have powers, or maybe you just look a lot like Harry Potter and love to do weird stunts.

Whatever the case may be, associating yourself with Harry Potter is rarely a bad idea.

I love how vague this response is, allowing the reader’s mind to run wild.

9) You’re A Pest, A Menace

Tell her what you like as a child.

Were you the class nerd, goofball, or the menace?

Revealing what you were like as a child will help her form an opinion of who you are today. The difference between telling her who you are today versus who you were as a child is that you’re given more leeway to make edgier comments and references about yourself.

That is of course because you’re describing yourself under the guise of your 3rd-grade-teacher.

Feel free to be a little out there and answer this prompt in a much more whimsical way than you normally would.

10) Engage Her

This “my third grade teacher described me as” prompt answer combines two of my favorite response elements; the curve and the question.

You’re not expecting a 3rd-grade-teacher to tell a 3rd grader that he’ll either be president or the leader of a powerful criminal organization. Compounding the awesomeness of this prompt is the question to top it off and the suggestion that one of these predictions came true.

Remember that Bumble requires women to message first.

However, most women refuse to message their matches.

This is because after matching, the woman realizes that her match isn’t in fact what she was really looking for.

She also eschews the first message because she doesn’t know what to say.

Make things easier for her by asking a question.

Questions that engage are always welcome.

Next Steps

Let’s just say that you do write a kick-ass prompt and your photos are on point.

If the stars align she’s going to swipe right on you and thus create a match.

What next?

Should she start the conversation with a message now it’s on you to continue to showcase your personality and get her phone number or ask her out using a TDL.

It’s here that the connection is at its most unstable. A poorly written message and poof, you never hear back from her again.

When chatting it up with a new flame keep these tips in mind:

— Keep the conversation revolving around her interests

— Ask questions, ask questions, ask questions

— Personalize your message

— Never write her a novel

— Ask for her number before more than 20 total messages have been exchanged

It’s this last one that many men struggle with.

They feel the need to learn everything there is about a woman before asking her out.

The thing is, that’s not how you learn about people.

You can only truly get to know someone by meeting them in person.

Dating apps are safe environments to have conversations but they’re not fulfilling.

The only way to know if you and her are right for each other is to go on a date.

When you do finally ask her out use a TDL to do so.

TDL: Time, Date, Location

Most men don’t put much thought into asking a woman out.

They simply say, “hey wanna go out sometime?”

That’s a no-go.

To effectively ask a woman out you’ll need to give her a concrete date request that she can either accept or reject.

Something like: