Turning the heat up on a relationship is the most exhilarating part of any new relationship – it’s also terrifying.

It’s when making a romantic move that you’re mostly to hit a wall. Attempting to turn her on often involves playing your cards, showing her your hand, and making your feelings known. If she’s not feeling it, she’ll let you know and you may have to reevaluate the relationship. But if she is reciprocal to your overtures, you my friend have just won the romantic jackpot; affection from a woman you’re interested in.

Let’s explore how to turn a girl on in ways that will increase the likelihood of her being receptive to your advances.

How To Turn A Girl On

First, a disclaimer.

Every woman is different.

Every woman has her own fingerprint of turn-ons. There is no one move that will turn every woman on.

The best way to turn a girl on depends on a number of factors, including:

• Timing
• Rapport
• Preferences
• Context

People will tell you that women aren’t light switches. With one motion, you can’t turn them on. That’s not true. Once you know what turns a woman on we’re exactly like light switches – but it may take a while to get there.

The following ways to turn a woman on should work on most women, provided you’ve already built a connection with them. Once you have a connection, turning her on is all about romantically channeling the momentum you’ve built.

Use A TDL

Before the date even begins, you have a chance to turn her in the way you ask her out.

So many men put little effort into asking a woman on a date. They say, hey wanna go out sometime? before cooking up some sub-par date idea like going to the movies.

Show her that you’re a man on a mission who has a plan by asking her out on a concrete date.

To do so, use a TDL.

TDL stands for time, date, and location.

An example of this would be:

Hey Jen, Seeing as how we’re both aspiring outdoorsmen I’d love to take you out this Thursday for axe throwing at Smoky’s at 7. 

This date request shows forethought, attention to detail, and that you give a damn. That’s sexy. Making an effort to create a bomb date will be noticed and she’ll appreciate it.

TIP: When crafting a first date idea, make it short, sweet, and a date idea you know she’ll be into. Ditch the stale coffee date and tailor it more to her interests. In this way, she’s more likely to say yes and enjoy herself.

Dress To Impress

How to turn a woman on comes down to the effort you put in.

If you show up doing your best, Zuckerberg impersonation wearing sandals and a grey t-shirt, she’ll think you don’t care about making a good appearance. This will dig you a hole.

When in doubt, overdress.

Of course, you want to tailor how you dress to the date activity.  Having said that you can’t go wrong by wearing nice shoes, a freshly ironed button-down, and a nice watch.

It’s the little things that, when combined, can really turn her on.

Asking Her Follow-Up Questions

Men have this idea that turning a woman on involves subtly touching her leg under the table or staring deeply into her eyes.

Both of these could work, but the sexual vibes need not be so explicit.

Early on in a relationship, one of the best ways you can signal your interest and turn her on is by asking her follow-up questions. Asking follow-up questions about something she’s talking about indicates you’re interested in what she has to say.

This is a safe and respectful way of showing her that you’re into her. 

When she’s talking about her passions, her routine, or whatever else about her life or who she is that you’re interested in, dive into that subject. Ask probing questions that demonstrate your interest in learning more about her in an intimate way.

Also, remember that we’re attracted to people that are into us. This is called reciprocal liking. This subtle sign that you’re into her will likely spark reciprocal feelings.

Don’t know what to ask her on a first date? Here are some questions. 

Compliment Her The Right Way

Not just any compliment will do.

Give a compliment that genuinely comes from the heart.

So what does that look like?

After you two have gotten to know each other a bit, tell her that, you’re having a great time and that she’s one of the most interesting people you’ve gone on a date with in recent memory. 

Another example of a compliment that would turn her on is if she says she’s been struggling with getting dates recently. Tell her that you’re surprised because you’re super cool, smart, and obviously gorgeous.

When complimenting her, don’t shy away from it. State the compliment as if it were fact. Make eye contact and only compliment her if you really mean what you say.

NOTE: Things to keep in mind when complimenting her:

• Compliments are gifts, use them sparingly
• Keep compliments PG on the first date, avoid complimenting her physical features unless you know you can get away with it
• Be confident when complimenting her

Smile, A Lot

You need to start looking at how to turn her on as a process.

It’s not about one move that can unlock her romantically. It’s about movements that crescendo into a state of being turned on.

To get there you have to make her comfortable with you. The best way to do so is by smiling. Smile when you see her, smile when you make a joke, smile when you make eye contact, and smile when you’re about to kiss her.

Cracking a big one conveys that you’re into her, you’re not a threat, and it is an easy way to bond with her. It’s another safe way to indicate interest. It’s a safe but surefire way to build sexual tension that you can put in the bank until you way to tap that investment.

Engaged Eye Contact

Don’t stare at her like she’s dessert.

Look at her like she’s the most interesting person in the room.

Keeping prolonged eye contact shows her that you genuinely care about what she has to say. But it’s not just my advice, it’s science.

In a study where participants were paired up and asked to stare into each other’s eyes, those who stared at each other reported stronger sexual attraction to one another than those who didn’t make prolonged eye contact.

Hold that gaze for an extra second or two and really look into her eyes. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. That’s obviously BS, everyone knows its tacos and margs. But staring into her eyes will generate a deeper connection.

Remember to break eye contact every once in a while so as not to scare her off. After all this isn’t a staring competition, it’s a date.

Make Her Laugh

This is an obvious one.

The thing is, so many men think that if they’re not physically touching a woman or complimenting her they’re not turning her on.

Broader your understanding of what turns a woman on. Jokes, bonding, making her feel safe and respected are all turn-ons for women.

Laughing with a woman is the quickest way to turn her on, guaranteed.

Whisper/Lean In

Chances are you two will spend time in a bar or restaurant.

Bars and restaurants are loud places, especially after work or on date nights.

Yelling across the table is a turn-off.

Change the dynamic by sitting in the chair next to her. When you talk to her, occasionally lean in so that you’re closer to her. Even try whispering or speaking into her ear a couple of times during the night.

Choosing to sit closer to hear and to be in close proximity when talking will turn her on. It shows her that you’re a man who knows what he wants, is in control, and her heart might flutter a bit every time you lean in.

Slowly but surely, this sexual tension will build and build.

How To Turn A Girl On: Break The Touch Barrier

Touching a woman is a great way to turn her on. It’s also the quickest way to turn her off.

The reason why it’s last on this list is because, ideally, you do everything else on this list prior to sexually escalating things via touch.

If you start the date by getting handsy, she’ll be turned off and will abscond. Build sexual tension before you touch her.

That being said, now it’s time to contradict myself.

Always start the date with touch. Of course, the point here isn’t to turn her on, but rather to get her used to physically touching you. The more you two touch, the more comfortable she’ll become around you. Physical barriers will organically decrease, and it will become easier to turn her on via more seductive forms of touching at a later time.

That initial touch should come in the form of a hug hello. 

During the date, here are a couple of innocuous ways of touching her:

• Touching her back to guide her through the door
• Tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention
• Giving her a fist bump or high-five

Turn up the heat a little more by touching her in one of these ways:

• Asking for her hand (to examine, to look at her nails, to check out a tattoo, to compare hand size, whatever excuse you want to use) Handle her hand with care
• Ask to look at her tattoo before stroking it gently or touching it
• Playfully bump into her. Give her a butt bump
• Rest your leg under the table on hers

If you want to turn it up just a little more, consider doing the following:

• Holding her hand
• Letting your hand rest on her back a little bit longer every time you touch her there
• Holding her hand before pivoting to stroking her leg
• Rub her back
• Kiss her on the cheek after complimenting her

Then of course, there’s the kiss. Only you will know when the right time to kiss her is.

If you want to kiss her but are unsure of how she’ll respond, here’s what I recommend. 

Kiss her cheek. Then say something like, you know what I think your other cheek is jealous. Kiss her other cheek. If she’s into you she’ll stare into your eyes after that second kiss and you’ll just know that’s when it’s time to kiss her. You can also linger in from of her lips for a moment. If she’s into you, she’ll take control of the situation and will kiss you.

Remember the Hitch scene when he advises his client to go 90% and the woman goes that last 10%?

That’s what this technique is all about. Going in for the first kiss is so terrifying because we don’t want to make things awkward. If you go 90% you’re not putting yourself 100% out there, but you are conveying that you want to kiss her. If she’s into it, she’ll go that last 10% because she knows for a certainty that she won’t get rejected.

It’s a winning strategy and a great way to turn her on.

Dating Decoded

How to turn a woman can be confusing. There are a million variables to take into account and they seem to change on a daily basis.

To simplify things, team up with emlovz.

We teach our students the shortcut to finding their ideal match by MegaDating. MegaDating is our dating philosophy and it shapes everything we teach here at emlovz. Simply put MegaDating is dating prolifically with the specific goal of going on 20 dates in 90 days. This will give you ample women to compare and contrast so you can refine not only your dating skills but also who your ideal partner is.

To teach you how to quickly find highly compatible women in just weeks and become the most eligible bachelor in town you’ll team up with romantic experts, each skilled in their own unique area to support you.

Our Team

• Emyli (me), co-founder, curriculum developer, head coach, and I host two coaching sessions every week
• Thomas, co-founder, and coach. He’ll lead the biweekly Man Cave event where men come together to talk dating, bond with one another, and support other single men
• Cat, Brooke, and Audrey are mock date specialists. Go on a practice date with them (and receive feedback) before your next date
• Hailey is your new stylist. She’s worked with celebs from every industry and is now about to raid your closet
• Tilly is our holistic sex & intimacy coach. She’ll help you get the most out of your sex life so you and your partner are happier between the sheets
• Aundrea is an award-winning fitness coach. Are you ready to eat right and build muscle?
• Mia is our social media expert. Revamp your Facebook and Instagram profiles with her help and start meeting women online

Our Community

And look, we realize that the single life can be difficult. If accepted into our coaching program, Dating Decoded, you’d be joining a community of supportive men and coaches who are there to listen, support, and encourage you as you navigate the single life.

Our program offers every student a lifetime membership (as if you’ll need it) so the support won’t stop until you’ve found your ideal partner.

If you’re ready to find your forever partner, book a Zoom session with our team today. Together we’ll talk about your dating history, your goals and show you how our program, Dating Decoded, can help you find your ideal partner.

Learn how our students have already improved their dating lives.